Chapter 4: A Little Kissing

Phoebe sat back in satisfaction after having consumed a large portion of spaghetti with pesto sauce, washed down with more than one glass of a nice Italian red. She was continuing to enjoy grilling Rachel about all aspects of high school life, and had got onto cheerleaders.

"So here are all the cutest girls in the school dancing about together?" she said. "Man, I wonder how the guys can concentrate on their games."

"Well, cheerleaders don't do stuff all the time," said Rachel. "And the jocks are so often in love with their own selves that they don't notice the cheerleaders much. Or they get to thinking that they must be really someone, because the whole school's cheering them on, and that the cheerleaders sort of belong to them as of right. I had to knock that idea out of one or two guys' heads."

"She used to be really tough, when she wanted to be," said Monica. "Just out of curiosity, Rach, where did that girl go?"

Rachel grinned slightly, then looked pensive. "I do wonder sometimes. When I think about it, it's like, God, was I really so confident then? Well, I guess having Chip Matthews desert me for Amy Welch at the Prom shook me up some, and then at the U, all of a sudden I wasn't so hot and it mattered that my work was poor." Her face took on a rather wistful look. "Let's talk about something else."

"Oh, but Rach, you were so confident today!" Phoebe enthused. "I was so impressed!"

"Yeah, so was I," said Monica, "and I'm sure, if we saw you at work, that would impress us too."

Rachel's face became more cheerful, but there was still an air of discontent about her. "Well, I like to think I do a good job, but between you and me, Joanna's not very efficient, and she keeps making Sophie so nervous that she makes mistakes. So we don't function too well as a team."

"Never mind, Rach," said Phoebe rather boisterously. "It has to be better than waitressing. So, anyway, did all you cheerleaders take showers together?"

Rachel looked a little embarrassed. "Well, yeah, we did – "

"That must have been something to see!" cried Phoebe with maximum enthusiasm. She was beginning to seem a little drunk. "All those cute little asses bobbing about, especially yours. You have a very fine ass, Rachel, did anyone ever tell you?"

Rachel looked at Monica in alarm. It really seemed like Phoebe was coming on to her. But Monica simply smiled back blandly.

"Well, it has been admired," said Rachel, striving for a light tone. "And not just by men. I got hit on by lesbians a couple of times at the U. But they didn't interest me."

"C'mon, you mean you've never wondered what it might be like with a woman?" said Phoebe incredulously.

"Oh sure, I've wondered," said Rachel. "But to tell you the truth, Pheebs, I've never been able to picture it without feeling a bit freaked, or falling about laughing. It's not something I think I could ever take seriously. I mean, I only made out with my sorority friend Melissa that one time because I was drunk – we both were. And eventually I thought it was silly, and we stopped."

"So you got nothing out of that?" said Phoebe, so intent that Monica looked at her in some surprise.

"It was nice enough, but it didn't really turn me on, if that's what you mean," said Rachel dismissively.

Phoebe leaned back again. For a moment there was a hint of something in her expression that Rachel could not place: was it disappointment? But she was not going to put Phoebe on the spot by asking what this was all about. She hoped, if Phoebe had been coming on to her, that she had got the message. Rachel had nothing against lesbians, but she honestly did not think she was interested.

Monica had been watching with a degree of amusement. Long ago Phoebe had come on to her too, rather more openly in fact, but she had managed to turn her down politely and Phoebe had taken it well and never referred to it again. It was strange that Phoebe should sometimes behave like this, when she so frequently showed interest in men, but then it was difficult to get to the bottom of Phoebe. She must be genuinely bisexual, like Bonnie; perhaps that was how they had met, even. It was something of a relief that Rachel was evidently not interested. She had never imagined that she was, but then, in her present emotional state, she might have been willing to consider advances from someone who was already a close friend, like Phoebe. Monica did not think she could have handled Rachel having a relationship with a woman, even Phoebe.

She looked at her friend, who was now paying attention to her food again. She had ordered osso buco, a rich and sustaining dish, to cheer herself up, as she had said, and she certainly seemed to be enjoying it. It seemed a propitious moment to do a little digging, since Phoebe's interest in high school seemed to have temporarily dried up.

"So, Rach, how are you feeling about attracting Chandler's attention?" she said in an intentionally jokey tone. "If you and Ross really are over, you won't have to look far for the next man."

"Do you really think he's interested?" said Rachel, looking as if she genuinely wanted to know.

"Oh, I think he is," said Phoebe brightly. "He was looking at you in the apartment like you were, oh, I don't know, one of those Baywatch babes."

"Well, I guess Rachel could do well on Baywatch, with all that sailing experience," said Monica teasingly.

"Yeah, run, Rachel, run!" cried Phoebe, who seemed to be in an increasingly boisterous mood.

Rachel grinned at them. "Yeah, Chandler's never looked at me that way before, except that time after he accidentally saw my boobs, and he soon got over that."

"Mmmm … I wonder what it would be like dating Chandler," said Phoebe musingly. "I mean, some women certainly seem to like him just fine, like that Aurora person, for instance."

"Not to mention Janice," Monica put in slightly maliciously, "and Joanna."

Phoebe ignored her, though Rachel grinned. "Then there was that Dutch girl, when we were playing football," Phoebe went on. "I guess he's not so hard to take."

"Come on!" Monica cried. "Dating Chandler would be like … dating your brother!"

"Ah well, I never had a brother, so I wouldn't know," said Phoebe.

"Neither did I," said Rachel quietly. "Okay, Phoebe, you talked me into it. If he asks me for a date, maybe I'll give him one. To tell the truth, I'm kinda curious too."

Monica found herself pulling a face in dismay, and hastily smoothed out her expression. Why was this bothering her so? If Rachel had announced her intention of going out with Joey, would she have felt the same? Of course not, she answered herself. That would obviously be just for fun. You certainly couldn't take Joey seriously, and he wouldn't want you to. But Chandler was not like Joey that way. He broke it off with Aurora because he didn't just want casual sex. And he certainly wouldn't expect that with Rachel, if she read him right. He would look at her seriously, with those great blue eyes, and smile in the way he had, and … Monica gasped as she realised the truth. Despite everything she had said, she had developed feelings for Chandler. And now what was she going to do? She seemed to have put him off so successfully that he had given up and was turning to Rachel instead. And Rachel was her best friend: how could she deny her this chance of happiness?

She felt eyes on her, and looked up to meet Phoebe's gaze. Phoebe's face was serious. She nodded once, and mouthed, "Don't worry." Aloud, she said, "Well, I guess things will sort themselves out, like this Ross and Bonnie thing."

Rachel looked up. "How do you think that will go, Pheebs? I mean, Bonnie's your friend, you know her best."

Phoebe shook her head. "It's too early to say, but … she's never had a very long relationship while I've known her. Ross would have to be very special to hold her interest for long."

Rachel nodded, her face sombre. "I thought he was, once." She wiped away a tear.

"Oh sweetie!" cried Monica, very touched. "Does it hurt so much still?"

Rachel sighed. "Sometimes it comes back." She picked up her wine glass and drained it. "Let's talk of something else. Phoebe, you sort of got together with your birth mom Phoebe, didn't you? What's she like?"

-----

Ross and Bonnie were having a late coffee in Central Perk, feeling very relaxed and happy after an ecstatic reunion in Ross's apartment, during whose later stages they had demolished a large pizza with great appetite. Bonnie was wearing a colourful knitted cap.

"You know, Ross," she said thoughtfully, "Rachel has really been handling this quite well."

"Oh yeah?" said Ross. "Persuading you to shave your head isn't behaving well, in my book."

Bonnie laughed. "I'm sorry it freaks you out so much, but I do find it kinda neat not to have to bother with a lot of hair. Would you mind if I just kept it very short?"

"No, that would be okay," said Ross. "It's just … none at all …" He shuddered.

Bonnie took his hand. "I'm sorry, I should have asked you first. I promise I'll keep my head covered until some grows back."

"I guess a full head of hair must seem a burden, if you've spent a long time without any," said Ross. "But I thought your hair looked beautiful."

Bonnie smiled at him. "We can discuss the best compromise look, when there's something there again to discuss." She squeezed his hand. "Ross, I'm so glad we're back together, and sorry that I doubted you. But the way Rachel looked at you …"

"Um, well, yeah," Ross stammered. "I, I wasn't really aware that she still felt for me to that extent. Look, I, I need to go the bathroom, and then … what say we go back to my place?"

"Ooh yeah!" said Bonnie, her eyes lighting up. "Hurry back, lover."

Ross had barely left the table when Bonnie noticed that the rather strange manager guy Gunther, who never seemed to leave the place, was hovering nearby.

"Er, could I ask you something?" he said shyly.

"Sure," said Bonnie.

"Are Ross and Rachel over, would you say?"

Bonnie laughed. "Well, I certainly hope so. I'm his girlfriend now."

Gunther smiled ruefully. "Yeah, that could have been better put. What I'm really interested to know is whether she's over him."

Bonnie gave it some thought. "Hard to be sure," she said finally. "But my guess would be, yeah, more or less. She has good reason to feel mad at him, and not just that old Chloe stuff."

Gunther beamed. "I aim to ask her for a date," he said conspiratorially. "Wish me luck."

"Why, sure," said Bonnie. She would have gone on to discuss this interesting new development, but just then Ross reappeared and she jumped up to join him, eager to get back to the apartment and into bed with him as quickly as possible.He was a great lover, the best she'd had, in fact, and for that she was willing to overlook certain faults of character.

Gunther smiled to himself as he watched them go. He did not understand what these hot women saw in Ross, but it was certainly fortunate that he seemed to have such a passionate relationship with this one. Maybe he really had moved on from Rachel, in which case she should be all the more ready to be interested in someone totally new.

Just then Chandler and Joey appeared. They seemed disappointed that none of their group were around. Indeed, there was hardly anyone in Central Perk except Gunther and a waitress.

"Ross and Bonnie were just here, but they've gone," Gunther informed them. "And Rachel and the others haven't been in."

"Well, we might as well have a coffee and see if they show up," said Chandler. "If they don't, we can go back to the apartment and play foosball or something."

"Okay," said Joey cheerfully. "I need something to cool my mouth down after all that spicey salami and pepperoni."

Ordering large regulars, they settled down to wait. When Gunther brought them, he seemed to hover, reluctant to depart. Chandler looked up at him enquiringly.

"I still can't quite believe it," Gunther said. "Is it really true that Ross has dumped Rachel for ever, and is serious with his new girlfriend?"

"I don't know how serious Ross is," said Chandler, "but I don't think there's much prospect of him and Rachel ever getting together again."

"You hope not, eh, dude?" said Joey, digging him in the ribs.

Gunther's face showed alarm. "Why, are you interested in her?"

Chandler had long ago divined that Gunther had a crush on Rachel, but he did not think this entitled him to a straight answer.

"You know what Joey's like," he said casually."Always trying to hook me up."

The door crashed open, and the girls burst in, first Phoebe, then Rachel, then Monica. Their arms were linked, and they seemed remarkably cheerful.

"It's Joey!" cried Phoebe enthusiastically.

"And Chandler!" cried Rachel in the same tone.

"It's Joey and Chandler and Gunther!" cried Monica equally cheerfully.

They all burst out giggling as they approached, swaying just a little occasionally.

"Oh dear God," Chandler muttered. "They're drunk."

If not precisely drunk, the three were definitely exhilarated. They came to a halt by the couch, beaming.

"Let's give 'em all a kiss," said Phoebe suddenly.

"Ooh yeah, but who d'we kiss first?" said Rachel.

"The one nearest at hand," said Monica, and with that she seized hold of Gunther and gave him a smacking kiss on the cheek, regarding him with bright-eyed amusement as he looked at her in amazement.

"Right on!" cried Phoebe, and she sat down on Joey's lap and kissed him firmly on the lips.

Rachel looked at Chandler. "I guess that just leaves us," she said in a quieter voice, and came round the couch to sit beside him, looking at him rather seriously. "Would you … like a kiss, Chandler?"

Her relative hesitation had given Chandler time to collect his wits. "Could I be any dumber, if I said no?" he said, and leaned forward. She almost fell into his arms, and he discovered that her breath smelled noticeably of wine, but he cared nothing for that. Her lips were so soft when they met his. He had no idea how long they kissed, just mouth to mouth, before Monica cried, "Hey, Rach, move along and let the rest of us have a turn."

Rachel's eyes had been closed. Now they flew open.

"Okay, okay," she said a little peevishly. She got up, staggering a little, took a step forward, then seemed to trip and fell into Chandler's lap.

Phoebe shrieked with laughter. "Something's trying to get you together," she cried. "Okay, Gunther, here's your kiss." She stood, took him into her arms, and gave him a short but serious kiss on the mouth.

"Rachel, get off of Chandler and let me have a go," said Monica rather fiercely.

"I didn't mean to fall on him," said Rachel, looking a bit hurt. "Sorry, Chandler." She looked up at him with a glint in her eyes. "You're comfortable to fall on."

Chandler's heart was beating fast. He couldn't think of any snappy comeback, and then Monica took him over and began kissing him very enthusiastically, behaving as if she was really excited. She seemed reluctant to give him up, in fact, until Joey complained. Looking a little discontented, she moved on to Joey, but the kiss he got was short and half-hearted by comparison to the one she'd given Chandler.

Meanwhile, Rachel made her way to Gunther, smiling at him in a friendly way. She gave him a hearty both-cheeks kiss. He got the strong impression that this might be as far as she would ever be prepared to go, but he had finally worked up the nerve to ask her out, and he could not bear to lose what might be his best chance.

"Rachel, would, would you go out with me some time?" he blurted out.

Rachel's friendly look changed to one of surprise, then sympathy. "Oh Gunther," she said softly. "I'm sorry …" Involuntarily her eyes turned towards Chandler, whom Phoebe was now kissing with some enthusiasm.

"Hey Rach!" cried Joey, oblivious to all this. "I still haven't had my kiss."

"Oh … yeah," said Rachel, turning to him. But then she turned back to Gunther, and seeing how his face had fallen she leaned forward and kissed him briefly and tenderly on the lips. "I'm sorry," she said again, and went over to Joey, whom she kissed rather briefly and fiercely, giving the impression that she was fulfilling an obligation rather than doing it for fun.

Joey did not seem to notice any lack of real enthusiasm on her part. He grinned at her and said, "Well, how was that?"

"Okay, I guess," she said distractedly. Her eyes were following Gunther as he walked slowly back to the counter. "This was not a good idea," she said quite loudly. "Gunther, I really am sorry."

He turned and smiled at her a bit lopsidedly. "That's okay, Rachel," he said. "I'll always remember that last kiss." Then he went into the back room.

"Well, I think it was a great idea," said Phoebe, pulling back from Chandler finally. "I'd never have discovered Chandler was such a good kisser otherwise." She patted him on the cheek.

"Hey, what about me?" said Joey, sounding hurt.

"Oh, you're good too, Joe," said Phoebe sincerely. "But you ought to be, with all the practice you get. Chandler must have, like, natural talent." She giggled.

"Yeah!" said Monica with what seemed slightly overdone enthusiasm. "Let's hear it for Chandler, the dark horse of Central Perk. Wooo!" She threw a fist in the air.

Chandler was looking somewhat unnerved by all this. His eyes met Rachel, almost seeming apologetic. But what did he have to apologise for, she wondered.  Maybe that he had evidently kissed the other two well.

"So, which of us was best?" Monica continued in the same excitable, slightly drunken manner. "You guys have to say."

"Yeah!" cried Phoebe. "Spill the beans!"

"Well, I'd have to say you, Pheebs," said Joey. "You put most into it."

Chandler remained silent, looking embarrassed.

"C'mon, Chandler," Phoebe urged. "Joey may be right, but I think you got a good kiss from all of us."

"Oh yeah, you were all great," he said hastily.

"You're not gonna weasel out of this one, Chandler," cried Monica teasingly. "Give: which of us was best?"

Now Chandler looked a little irritated. "Well, if you must know, it was Rachel."

Monica's face fell, and Chandler felt a slight twinge of guilt. "Come on, let's get out of here and leave Gunther to his grief," he said. Unlike Joey, he had noticed some of what was going on between Gunther and Rachel.

"Good idea," said Rachel, who now seemed more sober than the other two. "I'm going, anyway."

She turned to the door, but Chandler beat her to it and opened it for her. Their eyes met again, and she smiled. "Well, thank you, Mr. Bing," she said in a flirty manner, then, lowering her voice to a more intimate tone, "It was a great kiss."

"Yeah, so was mine," said Monica from behind them, still in a rather drunken, over-enthusiastic manner. She came out, moved to stand in front of Chandler, and said, "Chandler, c-can I revise a previous comment, in, in the light of new information?" Her tone was light, and she was obviously using pompous language in an attempt at humour, but this was undercut by her stammering and air of desperate sincerity.

Chandler looked at her enigmatically. "Go ahead."

"I, I just wanted to say," Monica said, showing her nerves further by twisting her hands together as she stood on the sidewalk in front of him, "that, that I've changed my mind, and now I think you're perfectly good boyfriend material."

Chandler nodded. "I thought that was what you were going to say. I guess I should be pleased, but you know what? Somehow I'm not as thrilled as I would have been once." He turned to Rachel. "Let's go back to the apartment."

But Rachel was looking at Monica. She did not look simply stricken, but desolated. Rachel felt a lump develop in her throat. Chandler was one thing, but this was her best friend, who had been so supportive only that morning. "You go ahead," she said in an attempt to mimic his deadpan tone. "We'll catch you up in a minute. I've got something I want to say to Monica, in private."

It was Chandler's turn to look thunderstruck. He stood and gaped at Rachel as she turned away from him to Monica. Then Phoebe slipped out past them, pulling Joey after her.

"C'mon, Chandler," she said with an air of extreme good cheer, putting her free hand in his. "Let's all go back and play some stupid game."

Chandler allowed himself to be pulled along, but he took one look back at the others, to see that Rachel had put her arms round Monica, who seemed to be starting to cry, and was evidently comforting her. A rather marked pang of guilt went through him. He knew he shouldn't have put her down so hard – but she was being so irritating, constantly horning in when he was trying to get closer to Rachel. He couldn't hear what Rachel was saying to Monica, but perhaps that was just as well.

In fact, Rachel was saying, slightly fiercely, "I am not doing this again. I am not gonna take a guy you're obviously interested in, and, yeah, I promise you, Mon, no way is Chandler gonna make me choose between him and you, the way I tried to make you guys choose between me and Ross when we had broken up. You're right, he's definitely boyfriend material, and I was sorta getting interested, but he's not worth you and I fighting over. I never want to do that again."

"Oh Rachel!" Monica wailed. "You're being so great! That makes me feel even worse!" She sobbed on Rachel's shoulder.

"Now, honey, calm down," said Rachel, hugging her. "You're not to feel bad. I was only just beginning to get interested. But clearly, although it seems you didn't realise it till now, you've had a thing for Chandler for quite a while."

"It was only when he started showing an interest in you that I saw how much he meant to me," Monica said through diminishing sobs. "Oh God, how I wish I hadn't put him off so. But I really did think I just loved him like a brother, the way I love Ross now we're both grown. I thought I couldn't have real feelings for him – but I do, I do!" She choked on renewed tears.

Rachel patted her on the back and made soothing noises. She felt relieved that she had not gotten involved more deeply with Chandler. His kissing had certainly been enough to awaken lively interest, but his behaviour towards Monica had rather turned her off him. He had shown an ungenerous, unforgiving streak, that did not look good on somebody whose friends were always forgiving him for the often rather cruel fun that he had at their expense.

"Do you want to go back?" she said gently to Monica. "Or shall we just walk around for a while until you feel better?"

"No, I'll be okay," said Monica, sniffling and groping for a tissue. "Rach, are you sure …?"

"Sure I'm sure," said Rachel in a warm voice. "Once I said I'd do anything for you, and okay, that was a bit dramatic, but here is where I can make good on it. I'll give you a clear run at Chandler. The only problem I see is, Chandler may want to keep well away from both of us and go call Janice or something."

Monica produced a tiny snicker. "You could be right, though I doubt he'll go that far. I just hope he doesn't want to feel all upset and sorry for himself."

"He was clearly getting a little mad at you, and you were giving him some cause," said Rachel a little sternly, "but he ought to have made allowances for the fact that you were slightly drunk, maybe a bit more than I was."

"It's all Phoebe's fault, for suggesting the kissing," Monica said as they began to walk back to the apartment. "And now you've got to cope with Gunther's feelings as well."

Rachel sighed. "I know." They walked side by side in silence for a few steps. Then she said, "I'll help you with Chandler, if you'll help me with Gunther. Deal?"

"Deal," said Monica gratefully, clasping her hand. "Though that seems a much better deal for me than you. Handling Gunther will be child's play, compared to dealing with Chandler."

"Well, we may have to bring in Phoebe, and even Joey," said Rachel thoughtfully. "But he's got to see, he could break up the group, easily, if he wants to make a great big fuss about this, and nobody wants that."

"Sweetie, you really are growing," said Monica admiringly. She paused, and then giggled a little. "In return for this, I promise, I'll do everything I normally do in the apartment, and I'll do it without complaint."

Rachel laughed, and Monica laughed with her. Feeling reasonably cheerful, they walked up to the apartment block's door.