Crucify My Love
Rating: R
Pairings: Draco/Lucius
Warnings: Slash and Incest
Chapter 2: Behind Blue Eyes
The first few rays of sun filtered into Draco Malfoy's large room as he reluctantly opened his eyes. The sinister sun held no pity for the pale Slytherin as more of those relentless rays glided through Draco's window and spread themselves in a mesmerizing pattern upon the dark green silk sheets adorning Draco's bed. As his liquid silver eyes fully opened the faded memories of last night flowed deeply into his mind.
Draco loved his father so dearly, more than anything or anyone else in the world. He respected, revered and wanted to be just like his father... well in nearly all respects. There was at least one thing that Draco couldn't bear to even think about; receiving the dark mark. Draco certainly wasn't a good-doer or a hero or anything pertaining to such. No, Draco was no where near a Harry Potter Golden Boy type and yet... Deep within Draco knew he wasn't consumed with interminable evil, perhaps he had his own sinister qualities but all were rather juvenile. Deep in the darkness of himself, Draco wasn't a true follower of Voldemort and he may never be able to. That wasn't to say that all death eaters were evil. His father was a death eater, and Draco knew more than anything, no matter how hard Lucius tried to hide it, his father was not entirely consumed by the malevolent and sinister Voldemort. Just the thought of the Dark Lord's name gave Draco chills he would never admit. But he didn't want to be weak, he wanted to be more like his father, strong and fearless, free of all emotions that may hold him back. Draco sighed as he sat up in his bed and reflected on last night.
Draco knew that his father loved him, even if he didn't always show it, or perhaps never showed it. Still, somewhere inside Draco could feel that his father felt the same way as he did. If only his father could just once show him how much he loved him. But sometimes Draco couldn't even bear to think of his father at all. The emotions that ran fiercely through his veins were overwhelming and made Draco feel out of control. There were times, those few lucky times when Draco was fortunate enough to have his father grace Draco as well as Draco's mother with his presence, and in those fateful times Draco found himself mesmerized by his fathers presence. He couldn't help but stare at his father in awe; Draco was convinced his father was perfect. An utter vision of extreme perfection, from his looks, to his power, to his posture and mannerisms, and his cool, calm and controlling voice. Draco felt a flush creep over his face as he remembered on several accounts when just upon hearing his father's voice he would instantly receive chills as well as feel himself uncontrollably become excited. Certainly in ways that a son shouldn't feel when just hearing the voice of his father.
Draco didn't allow such thoughts to run through his mind for very long though. He wanted to show his father how he felt, but first he knew he must realize how he felt himself. In any case, it was time for breakfast and he didn't wish to take the chance that his father wouldn't be there. He knew better though, his father almost never showed his powerful presence at the breakfast table. On a usual day there would be Draco, his mother and many scrambling house elves running about upon their orders. But then their were those rare times, those times that Draco treasured most when his father would enter the opulent dinning room, his dark robes contrasting beautifully with his strong pale face, those icy blue eyes staring about the room but never acknowledging the people within it. He would then take the large seat at the head of the table before addressing his Draco's mother nonchalantly about minuscule matters to be taken care of. Lucius would never even turn his head towards his son, such a refusal to commit this action always made Draco wonder... silly hopes perhaps. His father's eyes would always remain seated, fully iced over, no emotion but there was something, something even Narcissa didn't notice. But Draco did, there was pain beneath his father's blue eyes. Draco could see the pain ever so clearly most likely due to the fact it was the exact same pain Draco's own silvery eyes mirrored back to the harsh world. Draco wondered if his father experienced the same desolate hurt that consumed all of Draco. Maybe, just maybe Draco wasn't alone in his inexplicable misery. This small hope kept Draco going, along with the rather hopeless hope that his father would one day recognize it. It was enough for now...
~&~&~&~&~&~
"Where were you last night?" Narcissa asked her violet eyes narrowing does anyone know the colour of her eyes? I guess I shall make them violet then ^_^.
Lucius barely even glanced in her direction before cooly answering, "I fell asleep in the study."
"Interesting..."
Lucius raised an elegant brow to this.
"And why is this of so much interest to you?"
"Nothing my dear, I just ask you be careful, there are house elves all about this house. They tell me everything."
Lucius gave a cold laugh and replied venom dripping off of his words. "Is that a threat my love?"
"Perhaps... Just don't think I can't see those looks you give our soon, sadness and longing. Those looks you think he will never catch. For gods sake Lucius he is our son! I will not have such things occurring under my roof!"
Lucius stared at her blankly for only a moment before pushing her roughly against the wall, in his bitterly cold voice Lucius whispered sharply in her ear.
"Don't ever threaten, or tell me what to do again. Is that clear? You know nothing of me and never will. Remember it was you who was lucky in this arranged marriage. The Malfoy's have the true power, you merely married your way into all of this."
"You make me sick," she spat back attempting to push him away and free herself but only being able to move away after Lucius, himself, removed his arms.
The two had barely taken a few breaths before Draco entered the dinning room. His silver eyes could hardly hide the pure joy at seeing his father was present.
"Good morning mother, father," Draco said greeting both his parents but never taking his eyes away from the stolid figure of his father.
"Good morning Draco," Narcissa nearly sung out as she gestured towards an empty seat, "Sit, the house elves will bring breakfast in a moment."
Draco slowly took a seat, his eyes still glued to the unmoving figure of his father, and this time it proved not to be in vain, for although Lucius never said a word he caught his son's glare and met it. The ice blue and grey-silver eyes met, for only the briefest moments but nonetheless a rather strong moment. Draco felt his breath catch in his throat as his father stared straight back at him with much less emptiness than usual. This time Draco was sure he could sense the pain much more clear. Behind those blue eyes, Draco thought, behind those eyes perhaps his father felt the same way Draco did. Perhaps finally someone did know. In any case, the moment passed and Lucius left the room swiftly and silently. Draco took his eyes away and looked down at the table. None of the exchange was missed by Narcissa whose violet eyes danced form both parties before she silently sat, her mind filled with thoughts that would not be quieted so easily.
"Not this time Lucius" she thought to herself...
~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&
No one knows what it's like to be the bad man
To be the sad man behind blue eyes
And no one know what it's like to be hated
To be faded to telling only lies
But my dreams they are as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance that's never free
No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings
Like I do and I blame you
No one bites back as hard on their anger
None of my pain can show through
But my dreams they are as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance that's never free
No one knows what it's like to mistreated
To be defeated behind blue eyes
And no one know how to say that their sorry
And don't worry, I'm not telling lies
But my dreams they are as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance that's never free
No one knows what it's like to be the bad man
To be the sad man behind blue eyes
*~*~*~*~*~*
"Behind Blue Eyes"
By The Who
~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~
Yay I've got another chapter out. Well I think I may have a plot, but it's all blurred so any help with plot ideas or constructive criticism would be appreciated! Thanks much!
Rating: R
Pairings: Draco/Lucius
Warnings: Slash and Incest
Chapter 2: Behind Blue Eyes
The first few rays of sun filtered into Draco Malfoy's large room as he reluctantly opened his eyes. The sinister sun held no pity for the pale Slytherin as more of those relentless rays glided through Draco's window and spread themselves in a mesmerizing pattern upon the dark green silk sheets adorning Draco's bed. As his liquid silver eyes fully opened the faded memories of last night flowed deeply into his mind.
Draco loved his father so dearly, more than anything or anyone else in the world. He respected, revered and wanted to be just like his father... well in nearly all respects. There was at least one thing that Draco couldn't bear to even think about; receiving the dark mark. Draco certainly wasn't a good-doer or a hero or anything pertaining to such. No, Draco was no where near a Harry Potter Golden Boy type and yet... Deep within Draco knew he wasn't consumed with interminable evil, perhaps he had his own sinister qualities but all were rather juvenile. Deep in the darkness of himself, Draco wasn't a true follower of Voldemort and he may never be able to. That wasn't to say that all death eaters were evil. His father was a death eater, and Draco knew more than anything, no matter how hard Lucius tried to hide it, his father was not entirely consumed by the malevolent and sinister Voldemort. Just the thought of the Dark Lord's name gave Draco chills he would never admit. But he didn't want to be weak, he wanted to be more like his father, strong and fearless, free of all emotions that may hold him back. Draco sighed as he sat up in his bed and reflected on last night.
Draco knew that his father loved him, even if he didn't always show it, or perhaps never showed it. Still, somewhere inside Draco could feel that his father felt the same way as he did. If only his father could just once show him how much he loved him. But sometimes Draco couldn't even bear to think of his father at all. The emotions that ran fiercely through his veins were overwhelming and made Draco feel out of control. There were times, those few lucky times when Draco was fortunate enough to have his father grace Draco as well as Draco's mother with his presence, and in those fateful times Draco found himself mesmerized by his fathers presence. He couldn't help but stare at his father in awe; Draco was convinced his father was perfect. An utter vision of extreme perfection, from his looks, to his power, to his posture and mannerisms, and his cool, calm and controlling voice. Draco felt a flush creep over his face as he remembered on several accounts when just upon hearing his father's voice he would instantly receive chills as well as feel himself uncontrollably become excited. Certainly in ways that a son shouldn't feel when just hearing the voice of his father.
Draco didn't allow such thoughts to run through his mind for very long though. He wanted to show his father how he felt, but first he knew he must realize how he felt himself. In any case, it was time for breakfast and he didn't wish to take the chance that his father wouldn't be there. He knew better though, his father almost never showed his powerful presence at the breakfast table. On a usual day there would be Draco, his mother and many scrambling house elves running about upon their orders. But then their were those rare times, those times that Draco treasured most when his father would enter the opulent dinning room, his dark robes contrasting beautifully with his strong pale face, those icy blue eyes staring about the room but never acknowledging the people within it. He would then take the large seat at the head of the table before addressing his Draco's mother nonchalantly about minuscule matters to be taken care of. Lucius would never even turn his head towards his son, such a refusal to commit this action always made Draco wonder... silly hopes perhaps. His father's eyes would always remain seated, fully iced over, no emotion but there was something, something even Narcissa didn't notice. But Draco did, there was pain beneath his father's blue eyes. Draco could see the pain ever so clearly most likely due to the fact it was the exact same pain Draco's own silvery eyes mirrored back to the harsh world. Draco wondered if his father experienced the same desolate hurt that consumed all of Draco. Maybe, just maybe Draco wasn't alone in his inexplicable misery. This small hope kept Draco going, along with the rather hopeless hope that his father would one day recognize it. It was enough for now...
~&~&~&~&~&~
"Where were you last night?" Narcissa asked her violet eyes narrowing does anyone know the colour of her eyes? I guess I shall make them violet then ^_^.
Lucius barely even glanced in her direction before cooly answering, "I fell asleep in the study."
"Interesting..."
Lucius raised an elegant brow to this.
"And why is this of so much interest to you?"
"Nothing my dear, I just ask you be careful, there are house elves all about this house. They tell me everything."
Lucius gave a cold laugh and replied venom dripping off of his words. "Is that a threat my love?"
"Perhaps... Just don't think I can't see those looks you give our soon, sadness and longing. Those looks you think he will never catch. For gods sake Lucius he is our son! I will not have such things occurring under my roof!"
Lucius stared at her blankly for only a moment before pushing her roughly against the wall, in his bitterly cold voice Lucius whispered sharply in her ear.
"Don't ever threaten, or tell me what to do again. Is that clear? You know nothing of me and never will. Remember it was you who was lucky in this arranged marriage. The Malfoy's have the true power, you merely married your way into all of this."
"You make me sick," she spat back attempting to push him away and free herself but only being able to move away after Lucius, himself, removed his arms.
The two had barely taken a few breaths before Draco entered the dinning room. His silver eyes could hardly hide the pure joy at seeing his father was present.
"Good morning mother, father," Draco said greeting both his parents but never taking his eyes away from the stolid figure of his father.
"Good morning Draco," Narcissa nearly sung out as she gestured towards an empty seat, "Sit, the house elves will bring breakfast in a moment."
Draco slowly took a seat, his eyes still glued to the unmoving figure of his father, and this time it proved not to be in vain, for although Lucius never said a word he caught his son's glare and met it. The ice blue and grey-silver eyes met, for only the briefest moments but nonetheless a rather strong moment. Draco felt his breath catch in his throat as his father stared straight back at him with much less emptiness than usual. This time Draco was sure he could sense the pain much more clear. Behind those blue eyes, Draco thought, behind those eyes perhaps his father felt the same way Draco did. Perhaps finally someone did know. In any case, the moment passed and Lucius left the room swiftly and silently. Draco took his eyes away and looked down at the table. None of the exchange was missed by Narcissa whose violet eyes danced form both parties before she silently sat, her mind filled with thoughts that would not be quieted so easily.
"Not this time Lucius" she thought to herself...
~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&
No one knows what it's like to be the bad man
To be the sad man behind blue eyes
And no one know what it's like to be hated
To be faded to telling only lies
But my dreams they are as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance that's never free
No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings
Like I do and I blame you
No one bites back as hard on their anger
None of my pain can show through
But my dreams they are as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance that's never free
No one knows what it's like to mistreated
To be defeated behind blue eyes
And no one know how to say that their sorry
And don't worry, I'm not telling lies
But my dreams they are as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance that's never free
No one knows what it's like to be the bad man
To be the sad man behind blue eyes
*~*~*~*~*~*
"Behind Blue Eyes"
By The Who
~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~&~
Yay I've got another chapter out. Well I think I may have a plot, but it's all blurred so any help with plot ideas or constructive criticism would be appreciated! Thanks much!