Chapter 11: Unexpected Encounters in a Restaurant
Author's Note: A long chapter, but I've written it all out, and there's no obvious place to break it. Hang on to your hats, as developments come thick and fast.
Following criticisms from my sternest and most articulate critic, Cress, I have accepted that I have been allowing Bonnie to get away with things too easily. I have changed, slightly shaded and expanded my original account of her behaviour in this and the preceding two chapters, to show why Rachel and Monica do not immediately turn her in.
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"Now, all you have to do," said Monica, "is eat your food and drink your wine and look like you're having a good time, okay?"
"Yes, mom," said Phoebe, straight-faced, and the others all giggled or snickered and chorused, "Yes, mom."
Monica took no offence, but beamed at them. She was living a dream – entertaining her best friends in her own restaurant. As well as Phoebe, Rachel, Joey and Ross were all there. So was Bonnie, but it did not seem that Ross had made any attempt to call Bonnie since he had sobered up, for relations had clearly not improved. They were not even sitting together; Phoebe and Joey were between them, and the atmosphere was a bit strained, though Joey and Phoebe did not know all the ins and outs of Bonnie's recent behaviour.
It was disappointing that Chandler couldn't make it. No doubt, he was out with Joanna again. But if this hurt Rachel, she wasn't showing it; she seemed determined to enjoy herself. Looking at her, Monica could not understand how Chandler could prefer Joanna over her. In a classic little black dress, with her hair up and a simple gold necklace and earrings, she looked absolutely stunning. The others had all made an effort too: the men were in tuxedos, Bonnie wore a quite conservative if figure-hugging dark red dress, and Phoebe wore the very attractive blue dress that she had worn on the night after the return from the beach hut. A fine group to put in the window, Monica thought.
"Now this is all on me," she said, "but don't overdo it, okay? No ordering stuff just to take home. Your appetisers should be here any moment. Most of them are vegetarian, Pheebs, and Joey, there will be two platesful, but they are for the whole table, not one for you and one for the rest."
There was more snickering. Joey grinned, unabashed. "So when do we get to see a menu?" he asked eagerly.
"Your waitress will be along when I move off," said Monica, "which I'm gonna do now, because I have to get moving in the kitchen. Enjoy yourselves, guys."
She was just turning away when a very familiar voice said, "Oh – my – God!" Looking to the doorway, she saw Janice in a rather flamboyant gold and black creation, beaming at her.
"Don't you look the hotshot chef?" she said admiringly.
"Janice," said Monica, displaying a courtesy she did not feel, "how nice to see you. You heard about the restaurant, then?"
"I have my sources," said Janice with a sly look. "And, look, the whole gang's here except for Chandler. Where's he?"
"He, uh, he couldn't make it," said Monica. "He's dating Rachel's boss," she added in an undertone. "It's kind of a sore point with her, so it would be better not to mention it, or him, too much."
Janice nodded understandingly. "Sure, I'll keep off the subject then. Hello, guys." She advanced on the table, plainly intending to join them. Joey groaned audibly, but the others tried to put on welcoming expressions.
"Room for one more?" said Janice archly, following it with the dreaded laugh. She took a chair from another table and pulled in between Bonnie and Rachel. "I don't believe we've met," she said to Bonnie.
"Bonnie Taylor," said Bonnie, smiling at her and holding out her hand.
"Janice Litman," said Janice, taking the hand. "And how do you know the gang?"
"I'm a friend of Phoebe's," said Bonnie. She glanced at Ross and added after a perceptible pause, "And I have been dating Ross."
Janice glanced at Rachel, evidently noticed that this did not seem to upset her, and simply nodded. Monica decided to beat a hasty retreat, and vanished into the kitchen.
"Well, you're all looking very soign," Janice remarked, surveying them admiringly, "especially you, Rachel. But you have no date?"
"No, we all came to make a show on Monica's first night," Rachel explained, "at her invitation," she added in an insistent tone.
But Janice seemed impervious to hints. "Well, it's great to see you all," she said, appearing quite sincere. "So, Bonnie, what do you do for a living?"
Bonnie began to talk with her, and everyone relaxed a little. Making conversation with Ross and Bonnie obviously on bad terms had been difficult. Then a smiling waitress arrived with two plates of appetisers. She looked at Janice a little dubiously.
"Are you one of Miss Geller's guests, miss?" she asked. "I was told, for five."
Janice looked uncertain, and Bonnie leaned forward and whispered.
"Oh, oh I see!" said Janice. "Why didn't you guys say? No, I'm not her guest, just a friend, so run me a bill, please. I'd sure like to start with some of those appetisers." Seeming a little nervous suddenly, she looked around the others. "You guys don't mind me joining you, do you?"
It occurred to Rachel that Janice might be rather lonely. Feeling more friendly now that it was evident that Janice had no intention of freeloading, she said, "No, stay now you're here." Phoebe said something similar. Joey's face fell a bit, but he didn't openly object.
Janice smiled at them gratefully. "I'll do my best to behave," she said, a remark which made Rachel wonder if Janice were more aware of her effect on others than she showed.
Certainly, after that Janice kept her voice down and rarely overdid her laugh. Bonnie seemed to take to her, and Rachel found, after listening to their conversation for a while, that Janice had many interests and could actually be pleasant to talk to, and she began to join in. Wine appeared on the table, orders were taken and brought, and in not too long everyone was well into their main courses and having a great time, since whatever they ordered, the food was as good as they had hoped, and the wine was good too.
Then Chandler and Joanna made an entrance, Chandler in a well-fitting tuxedo and Joanna in an impressively tailored women's business suit. She smiled at the group in queenly fashion.
"Why, Chandler, here are all your friends," she said, "and so charmingly dressed up too!" She said it patronisingly, as if they were teenagers at their first grown-up dinner party. "But this table seems full enough – let's take one over there."
Arm around him possessively, she steered him to a table that was out of easy speaking distance from the group's table. Once they were seated, she proceeded to make a big show of affection for him, running a hand along his arm and gazing soulfully into his eyes, quite oblivious to the fact that this was evidently embarrassing him.
Suddenly all Rachel's pleasure in the evening had gone. The food seemed tasteless. She looked down at her plate, trying not to show her feelings.
"Bitch!" Phoebe hissed, glaring at Joanna, who was now playfully kissing Chandler's fingers. Most of the time she was behaving as if Chandler's friends were nowhere in the vicinity, but Phoebe had just caught her glancing at Rachel and seeming to enjoy Rachel's downcast appearance.
Janice looked at Phoebe in surprise. "What's going on?" she muttered, leaning past Bonnie..
"Joanna knows Rachel has feelings for Chandler," Phoebe replied, "and so naturally she's rubbing her nose in the fact that she's got Chandler and Rachel hasn't. I mean, that's what anyone would do, right?"
Janice's brows came down, her mouth set, and a frown gathered on her features as she observed Joanna's behaviour for a short time. Then the frown vanished as she got to her feet.
"Hey, Chandler Bing!" she cried, loud enough to be heard all over the restaurant. "You didn't say hi!" She walked over to their table, beaming ingenuously. "How are you keeping? You're looking good. And who is this, some friend of your mother's?"
Phoebe, who was by now listening intently, like half the restaurant, made a bursting noise and put her hand over her mouth. Bonnie grinned broadly and turned to watch, while Rachel's mouth twitched and she raised her head.
"And who might you be?" said Joanna very frostily.
"Janice Litman," said Janice, holding out a hand cheerfully. "I used to date Chandler."
Looking almost hypnotised by Janice's ebulliently straightforward approach, Joanna took the hand, saying "Joanna Waterman." Then she dropped it hastily.
"Well, I'm dating him now," she said, sounding rather mad.
"You?" said Janice incredulously. Then she bent double, giving out her laugh at full strength and slapping her thigh. Joanna flushed.
"Oh boy, great gag," Janice gasped, straightening up. "You do that really well. I quite believed you for a moment."
"I assure you it's true," said Joanna icily. "Tell her, Chandler."
"Um, it's true, Janice," said Chandler, who was looking as if he wanted to be anywhere but there.
Janice made a big production of looking at him, then at Rachel, then at Joanna, with very obvious amazement. "Well," she said slowly, "I, er, I knew you had, um, hang-ups, Chandler, but …" She shook her head. "Sorry to have bothered you, Ms Waterman." She turned away, muttering to herself, in a tone quite loud enough to be widely audible, "Geez, I don't know … some kind of Oedipus complex maybe?"
By now Phoebe was rocking to and fro in her chair, producing strange chicken-like sounds through a handkerchief jammed in her mouth, tears streaming from her eyes. Joey and Bonnie had hands over their mouths and Ross was red in the face from trying to hold in laughter. Rachel was still looking at the table rather than at Chandler and Joanna, but she was grinning.
In contrast, Joanna was extremely tight-lipped, and she was looking daggers at Janice's back. Abruptly she stood up.
"Come on, Chandler," she said. "Let's eat somewhere that isn't infested with your ex-girlfriends." She marched past the group's table, completely ignoring them. Rachel did not look up, but when Chandler followed Joanna in rather hangdog fashion and paused for a moment, as if wanting to say something, her eyes lifted involuntarily to his.
"Come, Chandler," said Joanna sharply from the doorway.
"Come along, good doggie. Woof woof, coming, mistress," Janice remarked clearly as Chandler went towards the door, causing an outburst of snickering and subdued laughs throughout the restaurant. Ross, Bonnie and Joey all gave up the attempt to stifle their laughter and lay back in their chairs, momentarily overcome, while Phoebe dropped her head into her hands, making a sound almost like sobbing. Only Rachel did not laugh.
With an expression of utter fury Joanna took a step forward, and silence fell. Janice sat back in her chair, regarding her through suddenly slitted eyes and smiling slightly ferociously, showing her teeth. She seemed relaxed, but anyone close could see that her body was tensed and she held her hands free. Whatever Joanna saw in Janice's expression made her pause and think better of it. Turning on her heel, she hustled Chandler away.
"Woo hoo!" cried Phoebe when they were gone, punching the air. "Way to go, Janice!"
Bonnie slapped Janice on the back, and Joey stood up and reached a hand over the table. "Put it there, Janice," he said, with a broad grin. "You did real good."
"Yeah," said Ross, almost as enthusiastic. "I've never seen it done better. Um, were you going to go for her? The way you held your hands …"
"No, I was gonna let her try to hit me first," said Janice, while shaking Joey's hand. "Believe me, if she'd laid a finger on me, I'd have broken it. I've done some martial arts stuff."
"Well, you sure stuck it to her," said Bonnie admiringly. "It'll be a long time before she forgets that."
Janice was evidently pleased by all this praise, but she looked at Rachel a little anxiously. "I, uh, maybe I went a bit too far – but I was so mad! Okay, she's dating Chandler and you aren't, but does she have to be so adolescent about it?"
"She's not a very nice person," said Rachel slowly. "You should see the way she treats Sophie, our department secretary. Yeah, I suppose that was pretty funny ..." Her voice trailed off.
"But?" said Janice, now looking worried. "I think I hear a but there."
"Well, it just might cost me my job," said Rachel despondently.
"No way!" cried Janice in disbelief. "You mean, she'd try to sack you just because I made fun of her, and I was in your party? But, assuming you do your work okay, she's got no cause. No, if she tries anything like that, you go over her head, appeal to her boss, or even higher up. Why, you could threaten to sue for unfair dismissal – she'd be toast. I know a lawyer who'd take the case for nothing. She hates these queen bitches who use their position at work to pay off personal things. She's suffered from them, and so have I, which may be part of why I went for Joanna, I guess."
Rachel perked up, and she smiled at Janice. "Yeah, you're right. Sometimes, when you work in a department, you can't see beyond your department head, they're like God. Thanks, Janice, that makes me feel a whole lot better. Actually, I thought the whole thing was priceless." She began to giggle. "I loved the doggy bit."
"Well, I hope it will make Chandler think," said Janice seriously. "Does he want to be bossed around like she was his mom, or at least his aunt?"
Amid more laughter, Monica came over. She gave Janice her best smile. "I heard most of that," she said. "You have a good carrying voice, Janice." She held up a bill and tore it in half. "Anything you want tonight, it's on me. That mother thing was a stroke of genius. It cracked up the whole kitchen, even those who don't know the story behind it all."
"Why, thank you, Monica," said Janice a bit emotionally. "It is nice to be appreciated."
"Yeah, here's to Janice," said Phoebe, raising her glass. "Have you used that line before, or did it just come to you?"
Having assured herself that everyone was having a good time, Monica went back into the kitchen, while the others plunged into an animated discussion, beginning from notable insults and put-downs that they had used or witnessed. Rachel joined in happily, making a private resolution to be nice to Janice from now on. The main motive for her actions could only have been a generous unwillingness to see Rachel's feelings hurt, and that spoke very highly for her, in Rachel's view. She looked forward to telling Sophie the whole story next day.
As her opinions were sought with a certain respect and her stories listened to and applauded, Janice seemed to blossom. A tension that had always been there in her dealings with the group seemed to evaporate, and they discovered a warm, friendly and intelligent personality, whose rather nasal voice and occasional machinegun laughter were no longer a problem. Joey was particularly attracted, and began to show signs of frustration at being seated so far from her and having to compete for her attention with the others. Bonnie also showed detectable interest. For her part, Janice responded to them cautiously but fairly positively.
The evening was clearly a success for the restaurant. All the tables were filled, often more than once, and it was not until well after nine that the pressure on the waiting staff and kitchen finally began to ease. Eventually Monica reappeared, still in her chef's outfit, made a round of the tables, and then sat with her friends to relax for a moment. She was a little surprised to see how well Janice was now getting on with the others, but seemed pleased by this development, if anything.
It was while she was there that she suddenly felt that someone was looking at her, and turned to see Richard in the doorway, looking very debonair. Her heart leaped, and she jumped to her feet.
"Richard, how great of you to come!" she cried, almost running forward in her eagerness to greet him.
"I couldn't stay away," he said, lightly enough, but his eyes had a very obvious warmth in them. They held each other's gaze for a moment, Monica flushing a little. Then Richard looked around.
"It seems things are going well," he said. He noticed the group's table and took in who was there. "Chandler not able to come?"
"He's, um, dating Rachel's boss at the moment," said Monica in a low voice, "and, um, they showed up later than the others and were going to sit separately, but then … something happened. Come on over; everyone would love to speak to you, I'm sure."
Richard was greeted warmly by those who knew him and introduced to Janice and Bonnie, both of whom showed open admiration. In fact, Bonnie made a big production of suggesting that she would be willing to receive offers of any kind, but though she was surely funning she did not get any encouragement from Richard and only succeeded in infuriating Ross – which might, of course, have been her intention.
Janice was more circumspect. She muttered to Rachel, "This is the Richard who Monica was so in love with, right?"
"Right," said Rachel quietly. "They only broke up because she wants children and he said he didn't. He's got children our age. It's sad, because they were very good together. They met again recently, and we're hoping he may have changed his mind."
Janice nodded. "Something's starting all over again, I'd say. Just my luck: I could have gone for him." She pulled a mock-woeful face.
Rachel giggled. She had to agree that the way Monica was looking at Richard, she could easily be in love with him again. But then she was summoned back to the kitchen, and went, offering Richard anything he wanted. He ordered a coffee and brandy and settled into the chair Monica had vacated, next to Phoebe, looking quite happy to stay there until the restaurant closed. He expressed interest in hearing the story of Chandler and Rachel's boss, and chuckled as Phoebe and Bonnie vied with each other to give him all the details, while Janice put on a modest look.
"Yeah, it does rather sound as if she deserved it," he said. "Mind, I wouldn't think it wrong of her to date him just because she's older. There's many more years between me and Monica, for instance."
"Oh, but that's different!" Phoebe said emphatically.
"How is it different?" said Richard, smiling at her.
"Don't do that!" cried Phoebe, covering her eyes. "I go all weak at the knees. And there's your answer: you're, like, hot, and she isn't."
Richard laughed. "Well, clearly Chandler thinks she is. And it would be rather hard on a lot of people if only those who were acknowledged to be hot were allowed to date."
Phoebe pouted at being out-argued. "Well, he ought to be with Rachel, not with her," she grumbled. "She ought to find someone closer to her own age."
"Women's options get fewer as they get older," Janice put in. "All the good men have been taken. Of course, they do become free again, now and then." She looked slyly at Richard and gave a short burst of her laugh.
Richard grinned, then said in a serious tone, "Barbara and I married too young, I guess. When the children had left home, we had nothing much in common any more. It happens a lot. You guys take your time making up your mind who to marry. Then maybe it'll last the distance."
Ross sighed audibly, and Richard glanced at him. "Sorry, Ross," he said apologetically, "I didn't mean to twist the knife."
"No, it's okay," said Ross. "What you say makes a lot of sense, though we weren't real young, and no one could have predicted Carol would fall in love with a woman." He pushed back his chair. "I ought to be getting back. Gotta be at work tomorrow, same as usual." Suddenly he looked at Bonnie, with an expression that seemed to combine enquiry and a degree of apology, as if he wanted to make up but could not get the words out. It was an expression Rachel recognised.
But Bonnie said casually, "I don't think it's a good idea for us to go home together when we both have to go to work tomorrow. Maybe I'll just stay on here a while."
Ross's face closed. "Okay," he said in a cold voice, and went off to the kitchen to say goodbye to his sister.
"So, it's over, huh?" said Phoebe to Bonnie enquiringly.
Bonnie shook her head. "No, I haven't quite decided. But I'm not making up with him so easily. He had no call to make it some kind of loyalty test, that I support him over that 'We were on a break' crap."
Phoebe must have heard something about the quarrel, for she nodded and looked sympathetic. "He is, like, obsessed over that. You'd think it wouldn't matter to him any more, now he is with you."
"Well, that's what I think," said Bonnie in an aggrieved tone. "But you try telling him that."
Ross re-emerged and came to the table. "Night, everyone," he said, with a rather dark glance at Bonnie.
"Call me, Ross, if you think you have anything to say," she said.
"No, I think I've said everything I want to say," he said heavily, and turned away. Bonnie stiffened slightly and seemed to sigh, then shrugged.
Once Ross had left, the others began to think of doing so. Then Monica emerged from the kitchen in day clothes.
"One thing about being head chef, you don't have to do all the cleaning up if you don't want to," she said, "and tonight, for a wonder, I don't. I freely admit it, I'm beat."
"Let me walk you home, or we can take a cab," said Richard.
She smiled at him tiredly. "I'll go for that. Thanks for coming, you guys, and please come again, but remember, next time you have to pay."
They laughed and bid her good night. Looking very happy, she went off on Richard's arm.
"Well, no bets on whether that's started up again," said Phoebe to Rachel when they had gone.
Rachel nodded. "I hope it works out this time."
"But what about Pete?" said Bonnie. "Is he gonna be left high and dry?"
As if responding to the mention of his name, Pete entered the restaurant, looked around, and came over to their table, smiling. "Is Monica still in the kitchen?" he asked.
"Why no, she, um, just left," said Rachel diplomatically.
"She was very tired," Janice said.
Pete nodded, looking disappointed. "I don't believe we've met," he said to Janice.
She introduced herself, and on learning his name looked very impressed. "I never knew you were so young," she said. "Why, you're our age."
Pete shrugged. "I was … driven to achieve, but it kind of got in the way of my personal life." He pulled a face. "That's always been my problem. I intended to come here an hour and a half back, but, well, something came up in the business."
"It must be a great responsibility," said Bonnie sympathetically. "Why don't you sit down and relax now, have a nightcap or something?"
Pete smiled and took the seat Richard had vacated. Noticing the empty brandy glass, he frowned slightly.
"Has Richard been here?" he asked Rachel.
"Um, yeah," said Rachel.
"They left together?" he pursued.
"Well … yeah," said Rachel reluctantly.
"But he was only seeing her home," said Phoebe quickly. "She really was tired."
Pete nodded, but continued to frown. Then his face cleared. "Would you people join me in a nightcap, perhaps?" he said, looking round.
"It really is my bedtime," said Janice, "which is a pity, because I'd like to get to know you better. One can't know too many millionaires!" She gave a brief rendition of her laugh, startling Pete rather.
When she stood up, Rachel did so too. "Let's get a cab together," she said. "Your apartment isn't too far from ours, is it?"
"Sure," said Janice.
"Joey, you coming?" Rachel asked.
"I think I might stick around a while," said Joey. "Unlike you guys, I don't have to go to work first thing. See you, Janice." He smiled at her easily.
"Yeah, don't be a stranger now, Janice," said Phoebe. "I'm sure we'll be pleased to see you in Central Perk, after this."
They left Joey, Phoebe and Bonnie with Pete. Bonnie was clearly showing an interest in him, but Phoebe looked as if she aimed to keep Bonnie under control.
"Do you think she meant that, and Joey?" said Janice to Rachel in the cab. "I mean, I have had the impression from time to time that I wasn't all that welcome, you know."
Rachel decided to be honest. "You weren't entirely wrong. But this evening you showed a side of your character that we did not really appreciate before, Janice." She looked at her seriously. "I think they did mean it, yes, and I also would be happy to see you in Central Perk. Maybe you could even explain modern art to me – or any art, come to that."
"It's a deal," said Janice, her eyes glinting with amusement, "though only if you ask. I'm not gonna be like Ross and his science. The poor guy just doesn't know how to put it across, or when to stop. Say, do you think Bonnie's gonna go after Pete Becker?"
"There's no telling what she'll do, when it comes to men," said Rachel rather severely. "And she's almost as bad with women. She's sort of come on to me, and Monica, and it looked to me like she was showing an interest in you before Richard turned up."
Janice whinnied with laughter. "Yeah, well … I've never, um, played on that side. Wow, so she's really liberated, huh?"
"More like, obsessed with sex," said Rachel sharply, "and pretty unscrupulous about what she'll do if she sees something she likes, though in that respect she's not much different from Joey. But I find it hard to dislike her, or be as mad at her as she deserves. She has been very sympathetic to me over the breakup with Ross, so I'm giving her a little rope."
Janice smiled. "I hope you don't mind my saying this, Rachel, but you have matured a bit, to be saying stuff like that. You guys always seemed to stick together and condone faults like Joey's, when you would dislike them in someone else."
"We have tried to show Joey where his behaviour is unacceptable, you know," Rachel objected. "It just doesn't seem to get through. As for the other, well, the way Ross has been behaving, I don't feel he has earned any extraordinary loyalty from me. He picked Bonnie over me, which was kind of a wakeup call, if you think I've matured."
Janice looked a little blank, and Rachel realised that she did not know what she was referring to, and explained.
"Gee, Rachel, that's tough," said Janice, looking at her with real sympathy, "and now you're interested in Chandler, but it's not going anywhere? Well, let's hope, after tonight, he may start seeing things in a different light."
"Let's hope so," said Rachel, smiling at her. "If he does, I'll be very grateful to you. Well, here we are."
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Endnote: I make no apologies for the way I have presented Janice, for whom I have always thought there was a lot to be said, especially in the earlier seasons. As with all the characters, the writers' portrait of her is potentially contradictory; I have chosen to emphasise the more positive elements.