Wow, I finally decided to take some time to write this! I've been
spending so much time writing my X-Men story. ^_^
Ok, lesse if I still have it. . .
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"Shows what you Hobbits know about Orcen hearing!" scoffed another brightly made-up Orc. "You all think that we're deaf or something. And it's not nice to make stereotypes."
"But. . ." Frodo frowned. "Didn't you just make a stereotype of Hobbits?"
The Orc paused, then scowled at Frodo. "Don't you sass me, shorty!"
Frodo raised an eyebrow. "And who's this one?" he whispered to Rufus.
"That's Butch," hissed Rufus. "You, like, don't want to cross her - she's a dangerous character."
"Really. . ." Frodo scanned the area. "And who are they?" He motioned to some shadowy looking Orcs across the room.
"Oh!" Rufus shivered. "That's Rhino, Mace, and Cutter. Them's part of the Orcen Mafia!" Her eyes widened. "You won't, like, tell anyone I told ya, will you??"
Frodo shook his head feverishly.
"And, like, behind 'em's their leader," Rufus continued to whisper. "Vinny."
At the mention of his name, a tall, fierce looking Uruk-hai that had managed to remain seated looked at them. Pippin shuddered.
"Butch is, like, one of them."
Frodo looked at Rufus curiously. "Vinny's the only male there. . .as far as I know. . ."
"Yeah, Xander's at home - he got sick, like, just after he got that nice tan." Rufus drooled a bit over the image, then shook her head. "I guess Uruk-hai's immunity to sun doesn't include those tanning salons with the way totally cool lights."
Vinny, after talking to a few of his buddies, got up and approached them. Pippin started shivering uncontrollably.
"Oh no, oh no, oh no," he muttered over and over again.
"Hey yous," he said. "Whadayous think yous ah doin'?" he asked in his Fonzie-type accent.
"Well, we were, uh, we were, um," stammered Frodo, who was always a terrible liar since his "Underhill" incident.
"I was, like, tellin' them who you were and your standings, not to mess with you, you dig?" Rufus replied.
Vinny frowned at her for a minute, then nodded. "Ok."
Pippin stared at Rufus. "How be it ye can talk to him like that?" he asked her.
"I'm, like, one of the few people he can, like, tolerate," Rufus said without taking her eyes off of Vinny. "It's 'cuz I know his sister."
"Yeeeeaaaaah, but one day that's not gonna get you outta trouble," Vinny threatened, wagging his finger at her.
"You have a sister?" Frodo asked. "What's her name?"
"Vinny," he said, glaring at Frodo for the interruption.
Frodo frowned, confused. "But I thought *you* were Vinny."
"I am Vinny," the tall Uruk-hai replied.
"But, your sister is Vinny," Frodo said slowly.
"Yeah, you got a problem with that?" Vinny snarled.
"No, no, of course not!" Frodo yelped. "I'm just trying to clear it up a little - I'm easily befuddled!"
Vinny glared and Frodo explained, "Confused."
"Ah, ok." Vinny nodded.
"So, why do you and your sister have the same name?" Frodo asked cautiously.
"Well, yeh see, my fathah, he wanted to make sure that a kid of his named Vinny would be able to take ovah the family business, yeh dig?" Vinny started to clarify. "So he named all his kids Vinny, just to be sure."
"Ah, I see. . ." Frodo said slowly.
"Ok, so we's all in the clear?" Vinny asked.
"Um, yeah 'we's all in the clear'. . .as far as I know," Frodo replied.
Vinny grinned. "You know, I like this kid." He turned to Rufus. "Yeah, I like this kid, what's his name?" He turned back to Frodo. "What's you name?
"Frodo," Frodo said hesitantly. "And this is Pippin." He stepped to the side, revealing Pippin hunched over behind him with his eyes screwed tightly shut. He opened his eyes slowly and looked at Vinny fearfully.
"Eh. . .top o' the mornin' to ye, sir?" he tried.
Vinny scowled. "Well," he said at first. Then again, "Well."
"Well, what?" Frodo asked.
"Well, see, we don't usually like them Irish types," Vinny growled and Pippin shivered. "But, is he a friend of yours?"
"Yes," Frodo said firmly.
Vinny smirked. "Yeh, I knew I liked you, kid. Yer tough, you stand up for yourself. Yer welcome any time in my gang, you jus' show up an' yer welcome to stay for however long."
"Can Pippin come, too?" Frodo asked. "And Merry?"
Vinny hesitated.
"And what about Sam?"
Vinny frowned. "Two micks and a brit?" He sighed. "Fine then, you and any of yer friends can stop by whenever an' we'll give you safety no questions asked." He started to walk away.
"Vinny!" Frodo called after him.
The Uruk-hai turned around. "What?"
"Why do you dislike foreigners?"
Vinny shrugged. "Hey, I'm an Italian Mafia leader - I have to be bad in *some* aspect, don't I?"
"Well, yes, I suppose this is true," Frodo admitted.
"Yep, it is." Vinny went back to sit at the table. After some more talking, one of the guys flashed a grin at Frodo and showed the hobbit his switchblade.
"He's awful proud of that darned thing," Rufus muttered.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Yeah, I know that's a bad way to end it, and it wasn't as funny as the others have been, but I'm working from nothing here! Which. . .is the usual anyway. . .
Heheh, last guy sounds like Two-Bit (for those of you who've read The Outsiders).
Well, I will keep going whenever.
Special thanks to Setto for:
Allowing me to misspell his name before (in another fanfic).
And
Helping me with names for the female orcs. He came up with Rhino, Vinny, and something else that I don't remember, so I added Mace and Cutter. ^_^ And they couldn't *all* be girls (though that would certainly say something - the Amazon Orcs! Or, the balance between Dwarves and Orcs! Or. . .)
So, yeah, a big thanks to him! ^_^ He's also helping me with my X-Men story (coming out quite well, if I do say so myself).
If you have any suggestions, feel free to present them! Though I would prefer you do it in the form of a review - I don't exactly want to put my email addy out (I get enough spam as it is!)
I think that's it for now. . .
And no, I'm not giving any hints here as to whether Logan gets the Jack Russell terrior or not! (wink wink to those who know what the heck I'm babbling about). ^_^
~Adryl
Ok, lesse if I still have it. . .
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Shows what you Hobbits know about Orcen hearing!" scoffed another brightly made-up Orc. "You all think that we're deaf or something. And it's not nice to make stereotypes."
"But. . ." Frodo frowned. "Didn't you just make a stereotype of Hobbits?"
The Orc paused, then scowled at Frodo. "Don't you sass me, shorty!"
Frodo raised an eyebrow. "And who's this one?" he whispered to Rufus.
"That's Butch," hissed Rufus. "You, like, don't want to cross her - she's a dangerous character."
"Really. . ." Frodo scanned the area. "And who are they?" He motioned to some shadowy looking Orcs across the room.
"Oh!" Rufus shivered. "That's Rhino, Mace, and Cutter. Them's part of the Orcen Mafia!" Her eyes widened. "You won't, like, tell anyone I told ya, will you??"
Frodo shook his head feverishly.
"And, like, behind 'em's their leader," Rufus continued to whisper. "Vinny."
At the mention of his name, a tall, fierce looking Uruk-hai that had managed to remain seated looked at them. Pippin shuddered.
"Butch is, like, one of them."
Frodo looked at Rufus curiously. "Vinny's the only male there. . .as far as I know. . ."
"Yeah, Xander's at home - he got sick, like, just after he got that nice tan." Rufus drooled a bit over the image, then shook her head. "I guess Uruk-hai's immunity to sun doesn't include those tanning salons with the way totally cool lights."
Vinny, after talking to a few of his buddies, got up and approached them. Pippin started shivering uncontrollably.
"Oh no, oh no, oh no," he muttered over and over again.
"Hey yous," he said. "Whadayous think yous ah doin'?" he asked in his Fonzie-type accent.
"Well, we were, uh, we were, um," stammered Frodo, who was always a terrible liar since his "Underhill" incident.
"I was, like, tellin' them who you were and your standings, not to mess with you, you dig?" Rufus replied.
Vinny frowned at her for a minute, then nodded. "Ok."
Pippin stared at Rufus. "How be it ye can talk to him like that?" he asked her.
"I'm, like, one of the few people he can, like, tolerate," Rufus said without taking her eyes off of Vinny. "It's 'cuz I know his sister."
"Yeeeeaaaaah, but one day that's not gonna get you outta trouble," Vinny threatened, wagging his finger at her.
"You have a sister?" Frodo asked. "What's her name?"
"Vinny," he said, glaring at Frodo for the interruption.
Frodo frowned, confused. "But I thought *you* were Vinny."
"I am Vinny," the tall Uruk-hai replied.
"But, your sister is Vinny," Frodo said slowly.
"Yeah, you got a problem with that?" Vinny snarled.
"No, no, of course not!" Frodo yelped. "I'm just trying to clear it up a little - I'm easily befuddled!"
Vinny glared and Frodo explained, "Confused."
"Ah, ok." Vinny nodded.
"So, why do you and your sister have the same name?" Frodo asked cautiously.
"Well, yeh see, my fathah, he wanted to make sure that a kid of his named Vinny would be able to take ovah the family business, yeh dig?" Vinny started to clarify. "So he named all his kids Vinny, just to be sure."
"Ah, I see. . ." Frodo said slowly.
"Ok, so we's all in the clear?" Vinny asked.
"Um, yeah 'we's all in the clear'. . .as far as I know," Frodo replied.
Vinny grinned. "You know, I like this kid." He turned to Rufus. "Yeah, I like this kid, what's his name?" He turned back to Frodo. "What's you name?
"Frodo," Frodo said hesitantly. "And this is Pippin." He stepped to the side, revealing Pippin hunched over behind him with his eyes screwed tightly shut. He opened his eyes slowly and looked at Vinny fearfully.
"Eh. . .top o' the mornin' to ye, sir?" he tried.
Vinny scowled. "Well," he said at first. Then again, "Well."
"Well, what?" Frodo asked.
"Well, see, we don't usually like them Irish types," Vinny growled and Pippin shivered. "But, is he a friend of yours?"
"Yes," Frodo said firmly.
Vinny smirked. "Yeh, I knew I liked you, kid. Yer tough, you stand up for yourself. Yer welcome any time in my gang, you jus' show up an' yer welcome to stay for however long."
"Can Pippin come, too?" Frodo asked. "And Merry?"
Vinny hesitated.
"And what about Sam?"
Vinny frowned. "Two micks and a brit?" He sighed. "Fine then, you and any of yer friends can stop by whenever an' we'll give you safety no questions asked." He started to walk away.
"Vinny!" Frodo called after him.
The Uruk-hai turned around. "What?"
"Why do you dislike foreigners?"
Vinny shrugged. "Hey, I'm an Italian Mafia leader - I have to be bad in *some* aspect, don't I?"
"Well, yes, I suppose this is true," Frodo admitted.
"Yep, it is." Vinny went back to sit at the table. After some more talking, one of the guys flashed a grin at Frodo and showed the hobbit his switchblade.
"He's awful proud of that darned thing," Rufus muttered.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Yeah, I know that's a bad way to end it, and it wasn't as funny as the others have been, but I'm working from nothing here! Which. . .is the usual anyway. . .
Heheh, last guy sounds like Two-Bit (for those of you who've read The Outsiders).
Well, I will keep going whenever.
Special thanks to Setto for:
Allowing me to misspell his name before (in another fanfic).
And
Helping me with names for the female orcs. He came up with Rhino, Vinny, and something else that I don't remember, so I added Mace and Cutter. ^_^ And they couldn't *all* be girls (though that would certainly say something - the Amazon Orcs! Or, the balance between Dwarves and Orcs! Or. . .)
So, yeah, a big thanks to him! ^_^ He's also helping me with my X-Men story (coming out quite well, if I do say so myself).
If you have any suggestions, feel free to present them! Though I would prefer you do it in the form of a review - I don't exactly want to put my email addy out (I get enough spam as it is!)
I think that's it for now. . .
And no, I'm not giving any hints here as to whether Logan gets the Jack Russell terrior or not! (wink wink to those who know what the heck I'm babbling about). ^_^
~Adryl