Title: Forgiveness

Author: Jenny11

Disclaimer: Characters and some lines are property of Marvel. Not me.

Archive Rights: I'm flattered, just ask.

Feedback: I'll love you forever. Could also mean advance snippets between long updates.

Rating: R

Notes: Alternate Universe. Elements of comics, cartoon, and movies.

WantingDreams - Awesome, huh? Thanks!

Lesley() - Thanks for waiting!

lurking-in-the-shadows - I never said she could control them . . .

Gimpy1 - Glad you liked it. I'm always nervous about writing sex scenes.

Roguechere - Wow, thanks. I'm pretty sure no one's thought of doing exactly what I'm doing before. You'll have to let me know if I live up to that.

Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out. It just seemed like people were losing interest.

"No! No! Don't, please!"

Rogue watched in horror as Wolverine's body twitched and his eyes rolled back in his head.

"Let him go! Let him go, let him go . . ."

Rogue screamed as her attacker increased the pressure against the back of her head. She felt like she was drowning, the sounds of Wolverine's struggle panicking her further. Finally, she stopped struggling and her body surrendered. The blackness was almost blissful as it closed over her.

"Rogue? Rogue, wake up!"

Rogue whimpered in her sleep as Wolverine leaned over her, trying to shake her awake. After she had lost consciousness, which he was starting to think was a secondary mutant power of hers, he had brought her to a new hotel. Sitting in a chair beside her bed, he had been waiting for her to wake up for about an hour.

"Rogue, come on, darlin', open your eyes," he coaxed.

Rogue's eyelids fluttered. Wolverine sighed in relief, but it didn't last. As soon as Rogue saw him she shot up in bed, staring at him with her mouth and eyes wide open.

"You're alive," she whispered.

Wolverine frowned. "Yeah. You okay?"

Rogue stared at him for a few more seconds. Shock and fear shone in her eyes as she looked him over. Wolverine remained still and tried his best to look reassuring. Slowly, but surely, she seemed to relax.

"Ah had a nightmare."

Wolverine nodded. "I figured. You were thrashin' around in your sleep. What was your nightmare about?" he prodded.

"It was all so hazy, but still so real. It felt like it was really happening again."

"Again?" Wolverine perked up.

Rogue nodded absently. "Yeah. Ah think Ah was relivin' what happened to me at that spot you took me to. The one where the X-Men found you." She released her death grip on the bed and folded her hands in her lap. "You were there."

Wolverine leaned forward, his heart pounding. "What happened, Rogue?"

Rogue's eyes darted side to side, her throat working hard to swallow past the lump. "Ah could see your face. It was hurtin' you."

"It? What's 'it.'?" Wolverine tried to stay calm, but his pulse was pounding. This was the closest he'd ever been to finding something really substantial about his past.

"Ah don't know." Rogue frowned. "There were two, Ah think. Someone or something was squeezing mah head. Ah could hear you struggling with someone." She looked up at him. "Ah couldn't see their faces. It was like a blur every time Ah tried to look at them."

"Did they say anything?" Wolverine suggested.

Rogue frowned. "Ah could hear people talking. It sounded like there were other prisoners." Rogue shuddered.

"Rogue, come on, what else?" Wolverine demanded. "Think!"

Rogue shook her head helplessly. "That's it. That's all Ah can remember."

"Dammit," Wolverine swore. He threw himself back in his chair. Rogue jumped as he released his claws into the wall.

"Ah'm sorry, Wolverine," she said miserably. "Ah wish Ah could tell you more, but it just wasn't that clear."

Wolverine fought down the harsh words that sprang to his throat. He knew it wasn't her fault if she couldn't remember, but it frustrated them that Rogue seemed to hold so many clues to his own past. Clues he couldn't get to. He took a deep breath and shook his head.

"It's all right." He sighed. "It's not your fault."

Rogue felt her heart sink as she watched him stand up. His claws hung at his sides, forgotten in his disappointment. The wicked blades looked painful, protruding from his hands like shrapnel. Someone had made him suffer and it was possible that the same people had attacked Rogue. She swallowed hard. It was up to her to give Wolverine some closure. Nothing would ever make it better for him, but maybe knowing would help him sleep at night.

"Maybe Xavier can help."

Wolverine turned to look at her. "What?"

"Ah said, maybe Xavier can help. With mah memory." Wolverine still looked doubtful, but Rogue plunged on. "Ah mean, the memories are there, in mah head. He's the most powerful telepath in the world, he's gotta be able to help somehow."

Wolverine shook his head slowly. "I don't think so. Wheels has tried to help me recover my memories and never had any luck. It's like someone erased them."

"But you remember some things." Rogue bit her lip. "You remember the needles."

Wolverine's jaw tightened. She was right. Maybe Xavier could help.

"All right," he agreed. He turned to Rogue, his claws slipping back into his flesh with a metallic hiss. "Let's go see a man about a memory."

* * *

Xavier was apprehensive as he listened to Rogue explain what she wanted him to do. Her body was tense and her eyes flickered side to side. She was nervous about something and Xavier suspected she had every right to be.

"Rogue, I will help you in any way you can. However, I want you to be absolutely sure that you are comfortable with it. Letting someone into your mind is difficult for many people and if you're not truly all right with it, it could be dangerous for both of us."

Rogue shook her head. "Ah'm ready, Professor. Ah want mah memories back."

Professor Xavier watched her closely. "What is it you expect to remember?"

Rogue looked taken aback for a second. Frowning, she considered the question.

"Ah expect that Ah'll remember who did what to me and Wolverine."

Xavier's face remained impassive. "What makes you think you remember something about the experimentation project that Wolverine does not?"

"Ah remember when they attacked us."

Professor Xavier frowned. "Attacked you?"

"Yeah. Wolverine took me to where you found him. Ah remember us bein' attacked there."

Professor Xavier was silent for a moment. The more Rogue spoke to him, the more he was convinced his suspicions were right.

"Rogue, you realize that the memories you want to unlock will not be pleasant."

Rogue nodded slowly. Her nervousness seemed to increase.

Xavier looked her in the eye. "We are all here for you. Both you and Wolverine. Remember that."

Rogue looked at him curiously. His attitude was making her think he already knew what they were going to find in her head.

"Ah understand, Professor. Thank you," she said finally.

Xavier nodded. "Are you ready to start?"

Rogue nodded. "What do we do now?"

"Why don't you lie down?" He gestured to the couch beside his desk.

Rogue followed his directions. Settling comfortably onto the couch, she leaned back and closed her eyes, taking several deep breaths. She could hear Xavier come up beside her. Suddenly, Rogue felt her body go limp. Opening her eyes, she realized with a start that she was no longer in Professor Xavier's office.

"What the--?"

"It's all right, Rogue. We're in your mind."

Rogue looked around. She was standing on something solid, but there was no ground that she could see. Hazy fog-like smoke hung around her on all sides.

"Ah always thought Ah had more class than this," Rogue joked.

She couldn't see the Professor anywhere, but suddenly she heard his voice again.

"Rogue, do you see anything?"

Rogue looked around. For a second, she swore she could see shadows flitting around her. When she tried to focus on them, they moved quickly in the other direction. Following them, Rogue found herself standing in front of a solid stone wall.

"Ah see a wall."

Xavier's voice floated back to her. "Rogue, that wall is all that's standing between you and your memories. Can you find a way past it?"

Rogue tilted her head to the side, studying the wall. Tentatively, she put her hands out on the wall. It wavered underneath her touch. Rogue gasped as it suddenly stiffened. A shock ran through her arms and she jerked away from it as though it'd burned her.

"Rogue, don't be afraid. Nothing behind that wall can hurt you. You must keep trying. The only thing hurting you is your fear."

Rogue swallowed hard, staring at the wall.

"This is your mind, Rogue. You can do anything you want here," Xavier hinted.

As if he had deliberately sent the thought into her head, Rogue suddenly knew what to do. Concentrating, she pictured herself flying up and over the wall. Sure enough, her feet left what she had perceived to be the ground and suddenly Rogue found herself looking down behind the wall. Floating down, she landed in a field of snow. Off in the distance there was a small wooden cabin.

"Ah'm home," she whispered. She smiled excitedly. "There's a village not far from here. Mah dad raised me here. When he died, Ah inherited the house." She giggled. "Ah remember."

Suddenly, the scenery around her faded. Opening her eyes, Rogue found herself back in the Professor's office, lying on the couch. She lifted her head and looked over at him.

"Professor, what happened?"

Professor Xavier turned away. "You broke through the wall, Rogue. I don't want to go too far all at once. Why don't you get some rest and we'll continue tomorrow?"

Rogue frowned. He wasn't looking her in the eye.

"Professor, Ah remembered mah childhood."

"I saw."

"What's wrong?"

Professor Xavier sighed. "Rogue, weren't you born in the South?"

Rogue shrugged. "Guess not. Don't reckon there's much snow down there, and there was tons of it where Ah grew up."

"What about your accent?" Xavier asked evenly.

Rogue paused. "Maybe Ah picked it up somewhere else." Suddenly, a thought hit her. "Maybe that's where they took me." She looked at the Professor. "Could there be another complex in the South? Like the one at Alkali Lake?"

Professor Xavier rubbed his temples. "I really think the best thing right now is for you to get some rest, Rogue. Take some time to think things through. See if you remember anything else."

Rogue looked hurt. She had come to Xavier for help and he was doing anything but. He didn't seem the least bit interested in what she thought and he questioned everything she had just seen with her own eyes.

"Maybe you're right," she said woodenly. She stood up. "Ah think Ah'll just go to bed."

"I think that's a good idea."

Professor Xavier watched as Rogue left his office, not missing the disappointed look on her face. Part of him wanted to stop her, to tell her of his suspicions. Still, he knew that harsh realities were best discovered by the individual. Telling her now would only hurt her more. He sighed. Summoning Jean, he steeled himself for what came next.

* * *

Rogue shuffled her feet forlornly as she made her way to her room. She had been so excited about regaining some of her memory, but the Professor's lack of enthusiasm had put a damper on that. Now that she thought about it, her entire reason for going to see the Professor was to get some information she could take to Wolverine. Now that her initial excitement had worn off, Rogue was left with the realization that she had accomplished the equivalent of nothing. She didn't know anything more about what had happened to her and Wolverine than she had before meeting with the Professor. She stopped at her door, leaning her head against the solid wood.

"What am Ah gonna tell Wolverine?" she moaned.

"You could start with what happened with Xavier."

Rogue straightened up at the sound of the voice. Turning she saw Wolverine standing a few feet away. Rogue mentally kicked herself. She must have been really out of it to not have noticed his presence.

"Hey," she said hesitantly.

"Hey yourself." Wolverine looked at her curiously. He could see she was uncomfortable about something and part of him hoped that she had learned something new.

"What happened with Wheels?" he asked, nonchalantly.

"Ah didn't learn anything," Rogue said bluntly. "At least not anything worthwhile. Ah mean, Ah thought Ah was doin' really well, but then the Professor just kicked me out and basically told me that rememberin' mah childhood wasn't shit."

Wolverine raise an eyebrow in surprise at her emotional response. He had expected that she may need some support after her session, but he'd expected to be comforting someone upset about learning disturbing information. Not to comfort someone who was upset about . . . anything else. He frowned. He was pretty sure manly men did not discuss emotions.

"Um, wanna get drunk and talk about it?"

Rogue looked at him. For a second she seemed to weigh the idea. Finally, she nodded.

"Yeah. Ah think Ah do."

* * *

"So, there was this log cabin, right? By the woods with this huge field of snow all around it." Rogue took another shot, slamming the little class on the floor. "Damn nice place to come from, Ah'm sure."

Wolverine nodded, finishing his own shot. "Damn fine," he agreed.

Rogue glared at her glass as she refilled it. "Ah mean, Ah may not have remembered anything important, but it's better than nothin'. Ah mean, it's a step right?

"Right." Wolverine refilled his own glass. He paused, holding it in front of his mouth a moment. "I mean, I don't even remember that much. I have no idea where I was born, or raised." He took the shot.

Rogue contemplated his words. They'd been drinking for a few hours now and both of them were getting fairly buzzed.

"You don't remember anything? Not even a little snippet?" she asked. Somehow it struck her as odd that she would be able to remember things and Wolverine couldn't. Hadn't they been tortured by the same people? A thought was trying to swim through the alcohol, but her brain was refusing visitors at the moment. "That's sad," she finished.

Wolverine raised his eyebrows. "I don't need pity."

Rogue snorted. "Good thing. Ah don't feel that bad for you." With that said, she flopped down on her side, her head bumping against the carpet.

Wolverine chuckled, closing his eyes as he took another shot. The hot amber liquid burned down his throat, a pleasant sensation in his opinion.

"You know," he said conversationally, his words slightly slurred by the alcohol. "Even though I don't remember shit about my past, I get this feeling around you. Like I've known you forever." He paused. "You ever feel like that?"

All he got in response was a soft snore. Rogue's eyes were closed in an alcohol induced sleep, her body sprawled on the floor next to the now-empty bottle of tequila and shotglass. Wolverine nodded.

"Yeah. That's what I figured."

* * *

A warm breeze wafted across the front porch of the stately southern home, ruffling the hair of the young woman. She sat in a rocking chair, her eyes closed and head leaning back, a mint julep held loosely in her right hand. She was humming softly to herself and she rocked back and forth.

"What the hell is this?!"

The young woman's eyes shot open, terror etched in their depths. The hand holding her drink contracted, shattering the glass and drawing tiny lines of blood on her pale skin.

"Daddy!" she gasped, quickly dropping to the porch to clean up her mess.

"Don't you dare speak to me, you filthy lush!"

In a few large strides the large redneck man had crossed the porch. Reaching down, he grabbed a handful of white-striped brown hair in his fist, hauling his daughter to her feet.

"Thirteen years old and all ready you think you have a right to my liquor?"

The girl shrieked as his hand swung at her, striking her face with enough force to snap her head out of his grip. She fell to the porch with a sob, broken glass cutting into her bare legs and making little tears in her sundress.

"Daddy, Ah'm sorry!"

"Ah said don't you call me that!"

Furious, the man reached down, once again grasping his child by the hair.

"No daughter of mine turns out to be a lush and a slut! What's this Ah've been hearing about you and that Cody boy?"

When she didn't answer him immediately, he snarled in her face, shaking her by her hair.

"No answer? Well, Ah guess we'll just have to beat the evil out of you all over again, huh?

Releasing her hair, he roughly began to remove his belt. The girl stood frozen to her spot, too terrified to move. Finally, his belt raised high above his head, her father reached out and grabbed a hold of her bare arm, turning her to face the other way. Suddenly, the girl heard the hiss of the belt through the air. Terror welled up in her and even though she'd been through this enough times to know what to expect, neither her or her father could have predicted what happened next.

Pain exploded in her head. Just as she lost consciousness, the young victim couldn't tell if the screams echoing in her ears were hers . . . or her father's.

A huge gasp tore from Rogue's throat as she shot up in bed. Frantically, her eyes darted around, desperately seeking something to anchor her to the present and pull her out of the horrible past she had just relived.

"No, no, no, no, no," she murmured over and over. "It can't be."

Tears welled up in her eyes as she concentrated on searching her mind. As she had feared, the mental block that had previously stood so strong in her mind was shattered. Images and sounds echoed in her head and Rogue choked back a sob. The images in her head had been real. She remembered. Her father.

Rogue shook her head, trying to shake the image out. Her body began to tremble as she desperately tried to recall the memories she had remembered earlier with Professor Xavier. The ones with the snow and the cabin. The childhood that hadn't been laced in pain. Finally she found them, just as strong as the other memory had been.

"Who am Ah?" Rogue sobbed, her mind spinning as the two lives battled for dominance in her psyche.

Suddenly another image popped into her head. She saw claws, shiny and metallic shooting out from hands held in front of her. All of a sudden everything crashed into place with frightening clarity. A jagged scream tore from Rogue's throat as she stared at her hands.

Beside her, Wolverine jerked back into consciousness. He had put Rogue in his bed before turning in himself and her screams had pierced his sensitive hearing like javelins.

"Rogue?" he mumbled.

Before he could turn around to face her, Rogue's bare hand flailed out, connecting with his face. It felt as though someone had jabbed him with a live wire. Wolverine felt his body jerk and then the worst pain he'd ever felt as his energy was ripped from his body. Rogue's screams reverberated in his ears as he fell to the floor.

"No!" Rogue screamed, clutching her head. "Noooooo!"

The door to the room burst open, Cyclops and Storm rushing inside. Rogue's eyes were wild as she leapt for Cyclops, her bare hands making contact with his face. Like Wolverine had moments before, Cyclops twitched as his energy was torn from his body. Jean screamed as her husband hit the floor, having just arrived at the door. With a mere thought, Storm summoned a wind, blowing the blankets off the bed and wrapping them around Rogue. A blast of ruby red energy shot from the blanket, destroying it and revealing the madwoman underneath. Just as Rogue was about to emerge, turning the stolen and uncontrolled optic blasts on the X-Men, Jean reached out, throwing up a telekinetic shield.

"I can't hold her for long! Storm, hit her!" Jean screamed.

With all the majesty of the goddess she was believed to be, Storm summoned a bolt of lightening, striking at the shield just as Jean dropped it. The bolt hit Rogue full on, the shock overwhelming her already overburdened system. Without a sound, she fell to the floor unconscious.

As the room fell quiet, Jean rushed to Cyclops' side.

"Is she all right?" Storm asked solemnly, landing beside her.

"I don't know, Storm. Just call Colossus to help us get her, Wolverine, and Cyclops down to the Med lab and for Christ's sake don't touch her skin."

Jean gritted her teeth as she used her telekinesis to lift Rogue's prone form. When the Professor had spoken to her earlier, he had told her he wanted them all on alert. When he'd refused to divulge any details, Jean had accepted his warning. Now, in the aftermath of the night's chaotic events, Jean felt betrayed. As her teammates carried her unconscious husband down to the Med lab, Jean's mouth was set in a grim line. It was time to get some answers.