Title: Forgiveness

Author: Jenny11

Disclaimer: Characters and some lines are property of Marvel. Not me.

Archive Rights: I'm flattered, just ask.

Feedback: I'll love you forever. Could also mean advance snippets between long updates.


Rating: R ************** (there is a new site: nfiction.com that allows NC-17 ratings. It is exactly like fanfiction.net. I will be posting all of my work there where they will have proper NC-17 ratings where necessary!!!!) *****************


Notes: Alternate Universe. Elements of comics, cartoon, and movies.

Sorry this chapter is a little short. I feel like I rushed it a little. I just couldn't type fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. Does it seem too rushed to you? Should I flesh it out some? Can you think of anything you want me to add to it?

Syd() - Glad you liked it, sorry it took so long.

Lesley() - It should be pretty interesting.

Gimpy1 - Congratulations, you nailed it. Now I guess I just have to wrap up the loose ends.

Fluffy-Maru-Kouga-Chan - I already have an idea for my next story!

Roguechere - The X-Men are all about second chances.

lurking-in-the-shadows - Anyone who hits their child is an ass.

Punkcatwitissues - Glad you're enjoying it!

Loki*-*TheGrimScreamer - That would be twisted.

Lily - Thank you!

Professor Xavier took a deep breath as he watched Jean, Storm, and Colossus file into his office. Cyclops and Wolverine had been moved to the Med lab to recover. Rogue had been moved to a holding cell. Xavier pinched the bridge of his nose. He had suspected something like this might happen, but he had hoped no one would end up in the Med lab.

"I'm sure you all have questions," he began, as everyone was seated.

"That, Professor, is an understatement," Jean interrupted. She gripped the sides of her chair tightly. "You knew something that you didn't share with us."

"Jean, I assure you that I did not withhold information unless I thought it necessary to do so. There were simply some things that--"

"My husband is lying on a stretcher!" Jean raged. Ororo stepped forward and put a calming hand on her friend's shoulder. The weather goddess' presence had it's usual soothing effect and Jean took a deep breath. After a moment, she continued, her voice barely under control. "You told us to be on guard tonight, Professor. You knew something like this was going to happen and you let us run into it blind, with nothing but a vague disclaimer to prepare us." She took another deep breath and looked him in the eye. "Do you really value Rogue's privacy over the safety of your own students? Your own friends?"

"I most certainly do not, Jean." Xavier straightened up and met her gaze head on. "Let me make one thing absolutely clear. I did not know that Rogue was a danger to anyone here." He held up a hand as Jean started to protest. "I wanted you all to be on guard because I feared Rogue may pose a threat to herself."

Jean stared at him in confusion, her anger deflated. "I don't understand."

Xavier took another deep breath. "Unfortunately, Jean, I still cannot give you the answers you seek. You must trust me when I say all should be made clear shortly."

"Why can't you just tell us now?" Jean asked desperately.

Xavier shook his head. "Jean, you know as well as I do that in order for a therapist to be able to help a patient, trust is crucial. Rogue has serious issues that she has to work through. Tonight something happened. I believe it is Rogue who must tell you what you want to know."

"Well, gee, Wheels, I'd love to," a voice said from the doorway. Everyone whipped around to find Wolverine leaning against the wall. "So if you could just tell me where the fuck you put her, I'll do just that."

"Wolverine, you shouldn't be—" Jean started, but Wolverine cut her off.

"I'm gettin' used to it, Jeannie, I'm fine." He looked at Professor Xavier. "So? Where is she?"

Professor Xavier sighed. This was not going to go over well. He had expected Wolverine to recover quickly, but he had hoped for a little more time.

"Wolverine, just stay calm," he said carefully.

Wolverine immediately tensed. "What the fuck happened? Is she all right?"

"Rogue's fine, Logan." He paused for a moment. "She is in a holding cell," he finished calmly.

Suddenly there was the sound of metal burying itself in wood as Wolverine's claws shot of his flesh and plunged into the wall. Everyone in the room held their breath as Wolverine turned a furious gaze on Professor Xavier.

"Where?" he said quietly, barely suppressed rage vibrating through the single word.

"In the right wing of the basement. Wolverine before you—"

It was too late. Wolverine was off and running towards the basement, his nose sniffing to trail Rogue's scent. Professor Xavier shook his head. Finally, he looked up at Jean, Storm, and Colossus.

"Well, my X-Men. I think we should have our answers very shortly."

* * *

Wolverine could barely suppress his rage as he followed Rogue's scent into one of the holding cells. How dare they, he thought angrily. How dare they lock her up like an animal. Rogue didn't mean to hurt anyone. She was as much a victim of her memories as he was. He couldn't count the number of times he'd woken up in the middle of the night, his claws extended, roaring loud enough to wake the dead. God forbid he had ever brought company home with him, but he knew if he had it could just as easily have been him in Rogue's place. Yet never would anyone have dared to suggest that he be locked up for his moments of terrified abandon. Never would they have put him in a "holding cell" because he lost control. As far as Wolverine was concerned, it was their own fault they got hurt for barging in on her. He growled to himself. He'd seen Cyclops in the Med bay next to him. He didn't know what the hell had happened to him, but judging from what they'd done to Rogue, the asshole had probably tried to grab her or something. He snorted. He just wished Cyclops had tried touching him when he was in the middle of a nightmare. Cyclops shish kabob.

Finally, Wolverine reached the room Rogue was in. Bursting through the door, he looked around for the woman he considered to have been so unjustly imprisoned. Then he saw it. In the far corner of the room there was a pale pink glow. Walking towards it, Wolverine realized it was a force field. Inside, he could see Rogue curled into a fetal position, her dark hair hanging over her arms with the white streak reflecting the pale pink light. Sniffing the air, he could smell the salty scent of tears. He grit his teeth and shook his head as he walked over to her.

"Hang on, darlin'," he said grimly, moving to turn off the power. "I'm gettin' you out of there."

Just as he reached out to shut down the force field, Rogue's head shot up.

"NOOO!" she screamed in terror. "Don't open it! You can't open it!"

Wolverine jumped back, startled at her outburst. Looking over at her, he saw that Rogue's eyes were wild and under the pressure of his gaze, she seemed to try and push herself farther away from him. The tears he had smelled flowed faster down her cheeks as she watched him freeze with his hand on the button. Slowly, Wolverine withdrew his hand. As if released from a spell, Rogue broke eye contact, looking away and burying her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook as she tried to muffle her sobs.

"Hey," Wolverine said softly. "Darlin', what's wrong?"

"It's all mah fault," Rogue whispered. "Ah deserve to be in here."

Wolverine frowned and knelt down on the floor beside the force field.

"Don't say that. We've all lost control of our powers as some time or another. You didn't mean to hurt anyone."

Rogue shook her head, miserably. "You don't understand."

"I understand that you had a nightmare and your powers got out of control. Darlin', the same damn thing's happened to me, I know how you feel."

Those words seemed to strike something in her, and Rogue sobbed harder.

"Oh, Logan, Ah'm so sorry. It's all mah fault, Ah didn't mean it. Ah'm so sorry."

Bewildered, Wolverine shook his head. "I told you, you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm fine, see?"

Rogue sobbed and shook her head vehemently. "No. No, you're not." She raised her eyes to look at him. "Ah've taken so much from you."

Wolverine felt a sense of dread settle in his stomach. Something seemed to click in his mind as he took in her bedraggled figure.

"You absorbed more of my nightmares," he said quietly. He took a deep breath. "Shit."

He sat down heavily, his head hanging down. Images of hundreds of needles piercing his skin as molten hot adamantium poured into his skeleton ran through his mind. As if it wasn't bad enough Rogue had her own nightmares to deal with, now she had his as well. Could he ever get close to someone without hurting them? His ears barely registered the noise as Rogue started sobbing harder.

"No, you don't understand! It's all mah fault! All of it!" She balled her hands into fists. "It's mah fault you can't remember."

That did it. Utterly confused, Wolverine just waited for her to continue.

Rogue took a deep breath. "Ah was thirteen years old," she started, her sentences broken and shaky. "Mah daddy . . . he was beating me. Ah didn't know what Ah was back then. Ah didn't understand what happened." Her eyes got a faraway look in them as she allowed memories to come back for the first time in fifteen years.

"Mah powers kicked in. All of a sudden, he was in mah head. He was so angry. All his anger and pain flowed into me and Ah didn't know what was happening." Her breathing caught for a moment and she shook her head. "Ah ran away. Hitchhiked up to Canada." She looked over at Wolverine. "Ah just wanted to die," she insisted miserably. "Ah didn't want the memories Ah had in mah head anymore." Unable to look at him, she let her eyes fall to her hands. "Ah passed out on the side of the road. Ah thought Ah was dying." She closed her eyes. "Then all of a sudden, Ah woke up." She sobbed. "You were leanin' over me. Givin' me mouth to mouth." She looked up at him, her eyes wild. "It happened again."

Wolverine's face was impassive as he listened. "The spot in Canada I took you to. You said you were attacked there."

Rogue shook her head miserably. "Those were your memories. Ah was remembering being attacked by me."

Realization began to dawn on Wolverine, horrible in its intensity. He looked away. "When the X-Men found me?"

Tears flowed down Rogue's face. "Ah heard them coming. Ah didn't know what had happened, Ah didn't know who Ah was. Ah ran." She took a deep breath. "Ah started livin' your life, cage fightin' and all. Ah pushed mah own memories out of mah head. Then Mojo caught me. You know the rest."

Wolverine stood up slowly. "All this time I thought the government wiped my mind clean. Left me with no memories of my childhood or anyone I might have loved. But all this time . . . it was you."

Rogue nodded, tears soaking her face as she closed her eyes.

Wolverine turned around, facing the door. Holding still, he turned slightly. "My powers?"

Rogue looked up at himhesitantly and nodded slowly. "Ah heal fast. An Ah got your senses." She turned away. "Ah don't remember if Ah got your cl—"

Suddenly, she was cut off as Wolverine roared and released his claws, lunging for the force field. Rogue screamed and scrambled back, watching as they bounced harmlessly off the force field. Straightening up, Wolverine turned around and left the room, this time never looking back. As she watched him leave, Rogue felt a little part of her die inside. Curling up on the floor, she let the tears flow.

* * *

Xavier winced as the door to his office was thrown open. He had dismissed Jean, Storm and Colossus, anticipating Wolverine would . . . wish to speak with him.

"You fucking knew."

Xavier sighed and looked up to face the riled Canadian.

"That bullshit "mission" to Alkali Lake," Wolverine continued furiously. "You knew Rogue was remembering my memories and you didn't say a goddamn thing!" Wolverine snarled. "You knew that's why I looked so fucking familiar to her!"

"Wolverine if you will kindly remain calm and let me explain."

Fuming, Wolverine refused to sit down, but did remain silent.

"I am going to say this quickly and concisely because I realize you need some time to think about all this. I do not know exactly what happened. I merely have suspicions. Rogue's initial reaction to you coupled with her peculiar powers and combined with the fact that you and she hit it off so well so quickly served to make me believe you had had contact in the past. Rogue absorbs memories, you lack memories. I do not think it was a stretch of the imagination to put the two together." He took a deep breath. "I trust Rogue told you what happened?"

Wolverine nodded stiffly.

"And how do you feel?"

"Like the other day wasn't the first time she fucked me."

Xavier raised his eyebrows. "Wolverine, do you believe Rogue absorbed you intentionally, all those years ago? That it was malicious?"

Wolverine turned away. "What the fuck does that matter? What's done is done."

Xavier chose his next words carefully. "Is it possible, Wolverine, that perhaps the reason you feel so betrayed is because . . . you have started to care for Rogue?"

Wolverine went deathly still. Turning to face Xavier, very slowly, he met his gaze for a split second. Without a word, he spun around and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Xavier sighed and shook his head, leaning back in his chair. After a few moments, he wheeled himself out of the room and headed for Rogue's containment cell.

* * *

Rogue was sitting in her cell when the Professor entered. She didn't even raise her head as he approached the force field.

"Hello, Rogue."

Rogue didn't answer, staring sullenly at the floor.

Xavier sighed. "Rogue, I am going to shut down the force field. Do you still have Cyclops' power?"

Rogue shook her head slowly. Reaching out, Xavier shut down the force field. Rogue watched as the pink faded away. Like a wild animal after years of captivity, she didn't even move.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

Rogue swallowed hard. "No. But Ah guess Ah owe it to you."

Xavier smiled. "I believe you owe it to yourself, my dear."

Nodding, Rogue took a deep breath. Stumbling every so often, she told Professor Xavier all about her father. She told him about the beatings, about her powers coming to life, and about the coma her father had fallen into. When she related the part about absorbing Wolverine, Rogue wasn't surprised when Xavier just nodded. She'd figured out by now that the reason he had cut short her session was because he knew she was remembering Wolverine's memories. He had probably known that it was only a matter of time before her own memories would resurface. Frowning, a thought occurred to Rogue.

"Professor, may Ah ask you a question?"

"Of course."

Rogue turned to look at him. "Why did Ah remember Wolverine's memories before mine?"

Xavier nodded. "That is a good question, Rogue. I believe it has largely to do with the pain you experience when you think of your own memories. It is not unusual for someone to suppress painful memories." He smiled. "Your powers merely offer you another option."

"But the memories Ah absorbed from Wolverine were horrible too," Rogue pointed out.

"That may be so, Rogue, but they weren't all like that. The memories you described to me in our session were quite nice. Not to mention, it is much easier to deal with memories that some part of your mind realizes are not yours, than to deal with those that are." He thought for a moment. "As a matter of fact, I believe that is why Mojo kept your powers on all the time. He wasn't worried about you escaping because he knew you relied on other's memories to avoid your own. In a way, it was a symbiotic relationship."

Rogue rubbed her face with her hands. "Ah don't want to need a relationship like that anymore, Professor. What can Ah do?"

"I do have an idea, Rogue. But it will not be easy."

Rogue shook her head. "Ah have a lot to make up for, Professor. Ah'll do anything."