Title: Forgiveness
Author: Jenny11
Disclaimer: Characters and some lines are property of Marvel. Not me.
Archive Rights: I'm flattered, just ask.
Feedback: I'll love you forever. Could also mean advance snippets between long updates.
Rating: PG
Notes: Alternate Universe. Elements of comics, cartoon, and movies. *** I updated the previous chapter so it wasn't so rushed. Let me know what you think!!!! ***
Loki*-*TheGrimScreamer - No, Wolverine is not her father. You're welcome.
immortalatk - Reviews are not stupid. I appreciate them all!
Lesley - I hope the new version is better!
lurking-in-the-shadows - Sorry so long between updates. Exam week . . .
Roguechere - I love it when people quote lines they like. I was happy with that one too.
Gimpy1 - Now you know.
Arctic Wolf2 - Sorry it took so long!
anonymous() - Well, the story's done! No more anticipation. Until my next story . . .
The Mississippi sun greeted her as she stepped off the train. A breeze that carried the promise of wildflowers wafted around her, lifting her hair up off her neck. As she looked around her Rogue almost smiled. She'd forgotten how beautiful her birthplace was. Still, watching all the people milling around her, a part of Rogue waited tensely for someone to recognize her. Even though she wore sunglasses and had her trademark hair swept up into a scarf, the fear still gripped her and she was sure that any minute now someone would scream "mutant" and the peaceful scene would erupt in chaos. The last time she had been in this town, she had escaped with her skin. She didn't fancy the odds of it happening again.
Pushing all of her doubts from her mind, Rogue took a deep breath and remembered what the Professor had taught her. He'd worked with her for a solid month, talking about her memories, training her in relaxation techniques, and preparing her for the barrage of emotions she was likely to experience. He had offered to keep the therapy going for another month, but Rogue declined. For the first time in her life, she was ready to face the past that had left her running for cover in the memories of others. It was time she made peace with it. She took another deep breath as she shuddered. No amount of training could have made this easy.
Stepping off of the train, Rogue slung the small bag she was carrying over her shoulder and set out to find a taxi. At first, the crowds made her a little nervous. Apparently, she couldn't exactly control her mutation. She and Xavier had talked extensively about it. When Rogue had told him about the night she and Wolverine had been able to touch, it had stumped him at first. Finally, after much debate and consideration, they had decided that it had been Wolverine's persona flaring up that had made it possible. The Wolverine in Rogue had responded in kind to the Wolverine she was fighting. In a way, the animal had taken control. Professor Xavier pointed out that it was possible that the reason Rogue could not control her skin was because for the past fifteen years, she had relied on it to keep her own memories at bay. When the "animal" took over, it had no thoughts about skin or danger. Its focus was limited to that which it needed then and there. Rogue sighed. Her life just never seemed to get any less confusing.
As she got into the cab, Rogue rubbed her arm where the body stocking covered her skin. It was so thin and so sheer, if you didn't know it was there you would never see it. She told the taxi driver the address and leaned back as the cab pulled away.
The whole ride there, Rogue's nerves were in knots. She rubbed her gloves together in anticipation and her heart leapt as the hospital came into view. She hardly registered paying the cab driver or walking into the building. As she got to the nurse's station, the nurse at the desk smiled up at her.
"May I help you?"
Rogue's mouth moved, but no sound came out. Clearing her throat she tried again.
"Robert D'Ancanto's room, please?"
The nurse nodded and began typing into her computer. As she read the information on the screen, a frown appeared on her face. Looking at Rogue over the top of her glasses, she fixed her with a firm and suspicious look.
"May I ask how you know Mr. D'Ancanto?"
Rogue felt like she'd swallowed a boulder. She stared at the nurse, her mind racing to come up with an answer.
"Ah'm . . . Ah'm from the United Baptist Church. There was a woman in a prayer meetin' yesterday and she told us Mr. D'Ancanto's story. A horrible thing that happened to him."
The nurse nodded slowly. "Yes, it was."
Rogue forced herself to continue. "Ah'm the woman's mentor. Ah promised her Ah would visit Mr. D'Ancanto and offer mah prayers."
The nurse looked her over and leaned in. Rogue subconsciously leaned in as well, the age-old position of gossip.
"The woman who was at the meeting. Did she have two white stripes through her hair?"
Rogue struggled to keep her reaction from her face. "Why, yes. Yes, Ah believe she did."
Suddenly, the nurse seemed to be only too happy to be rid of her. "He's in room 555, Miss . . .?"
"Logan," Rogue said automatically.
The nurse nodded. "Miss. Logan."
Turning, away from Rogue, the woman began to dial the phone. Rogue smirked when she realized that the nurse was probably calling the church to warn them about the mutant in their midst. Shaking her head, she walked down the hallway and took the elevator up to the fifth floor. As she approached room 555, Rogue took a deep breath and opened the door. Stone faced, she looked at the man lying in the hospital bed. He was so much older than she remembered. He had been a big man in his thirties when she'd left. Now, his body had shriveled in on itself, his face slack in his comatose state. A monitor beeped quietly by his side, the lines showing just enough activity to show he was alive. Barely.
Rogue silently walked over and sat on a chair next to his bed. Forcing herself to look at his face, she took a deep breath and began.
"Hi, daddy. It's me, Marie." Tears sprung to her eyes at the sound of her birth name. Blinking rapidly, she continued. "Ah've come to get mah peace, daddy. Ah've been runnin' for a long time, and it's time to stop." Her voice caught. She stopped and stared at him for a few seconds. His face seemed to de-age in her mind, becoming that of the father she had known. The tears stung and she finally spoke again.
"Ah hate you," she whispered. "Ah hate you so much. You were always mean to me, daddy. You beat me so bad Ah couldn't have any friends because Ah couldn't explain the bruises. You beat me so often, Ah didn't know how to make you happy so Ah spent all mah time hidin'! I hate you for that daddy." The tears flowed freely down her face now. "But most of all, Ah hate you for puttin' all that evil in mah head."
She leaned down bringing her mouth right next to his ear. "Do you want to know why you're in here, daddy? Why you'll never wake up and you don't have enough mind to dream? It's me, daddy. Ah'm a mutant. When you beat me that last time, you opened the gates of Hell. Ah took all of it, daddy. Ah took your hatred towards me. The blame you put on me for mama's death. The anger you felt when you looked at me and realized that if mama had never given birth, she'd still be alive." A sob broke her words, and Rogue took another deep breath.
"Do you know what it was like, daddy," she said, her voice trembling and uneven. "To have a mind full of thoughts that hate you? Ah ran, daddy. Ah ran and Ah hurt a lot of people, tryin' to undo the damage you did." She leaned back, wiping her eyes. After a few moments, she looked down again at the man in the bed.
"But Ah'm done runnin' now, daddy. Ah'm done runnin' and Ah'm done tryin' to solve mah problems like you did – by hurtin' others." She stood up shakily. Standing over him, she tried to search her heart for some compassion, but came up with none. "Ah don't think Ah'll ever forgive you, daddy." She took a calming breath. "But Ah don't have room in mah heart or mah mind for hatred Ah can't use. So Ah'm gonna let it go. Ah haven't forgiven you, daddy. Ah just don't have enough emotion left for you to care." Walking over to the door, Rogue paused before she left.
"Ah'm not your daughter, Robert D'Ancanto. Not anymore."
With that, Rogue turned and left the room, the tears streaming down her face. She took the other stairs to avoid running into the same nurse and exited the hospital through a side door. As she left the building, Rogue broke into a run. The sun tried to warm her as she practically flew to the small park beside the hospital. Running through the trees, Rogue finally collapsed on a small bench beside a lake. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she buried her head and let the tears flow. The past fifteen years, broke over her in wave after wave and Rogue cried for it all. She cried out her hatred and her shame. She cried out her pain and her loss. She cried until she had no more energy left to continue. As her body finally began to relax, Rogue's hearing picked up a tiny sound. Turning her head, Rogue sniffed the air. To exhausted to react, she closed her eyes.
Wolverine's face was unreadable and he sat down on the bench beside Rogue. For a long time, neither of them spoke. Finally, Wolverine turned to her.
"Are you all right?"
The tears threatened to fall again as Rogue held back a sob. That Wolverine could still care enough to even ask how she was reminded her how undeserving he had been for what she'd done.
"Ah will be," she said finally. Lifting her head, she looked at him, not bothering to hide her tears. Wolverine deserved to see her vulnerable side, as she had seen his.
Wolverine nodded and turned to face the lake. Another few minutes passed with neither of them saying a word.
"Ah'm sorry, Wolverine."
Wolverine nodded. "I know."
Rogue nodded. "Professor Xavier told you where Ah was?"
"Yeah." Wolverine took a deep breath and turned to her. "I didn't come here to make small talk with you, Rogue."
Rogue felt her stomach lurch and looked away. "Ah know."
Wolverine shook his head. "No, you don't. You may have my life in your head, but you're missing the past fifteen years." He sighed. "And what's more, you're missing the past few months." Rogue turned to look at him and Wolverine met her gaze head on. "Look, I know you didn't mean to do what you did. I've done a lot of shit in the past and I'm not going to judge you." His voice got serious. "What you did today took a lot of guts. If you hadn't gone through with it, I might not even be here. But if you can forgive that bastard for what he did to you, I can forgive you for what you did to me."
Rogue shook her head. "Ah don't forgive him," she said quietly.
Wolverine tilted his head. "Do you care about him?"
Rogue shook her head again. "No."
Wolverine nodded and turned away. "I guess that's what makes the difference then."
Rogue's eyes widened in surprise. "You . . . care about me then."
Wolverine nodded. "Yeah."
Rogue followed his gaze to the lake. "Ah care about you too."
Wolverine nodded. "Good to know." He thought about it for a moment. "I'm not into all the mushy stuff, though. I'm not sayin' I want to get married or anything."
Rogue laughed a little, making Wolverine smile. She nodded. "Yeah. Ah'm not into that stuff either."
Wolverine nodded. "That's good." He stretched out an arm around her shoulders, looking at her in surprise as he felt her bodysuit. "Hmmm. Pretty sheer, huh?"
Rogue nodded, hiding her amusement. "Uh huh."
Wolverine pondered that for a bit. "Probably feels like nothin', huh?"
Rogue nodded again, a smile forming on her face. As Wolverine continued his examination of her body suit, Rogue felt a weight lift from her shoulders. Wolverine cared about her and she cared about him. Maybe someday she would know what it felt like to be in love. Until then, Rogue was content. She didn't need his love right away. She had his forgiveness.
So, what do you think? Good ending? Any questions? Complaints?