Visions in the Night Sky
Chapter 16: Saving Forever
"Radwan Caleb Snape!" Merewen shouted into the sunlit courtyard. She clutched her robes and held her skirt just above her shoes as she walked briskly across the grass. Radwan, now a happy, healthy 8 year old, looked back from the path to the tree he had been running towards. His face lit up and he turned and ran back toward the castle, running nearly full force into his mother.
"Mamma!" he cried, an innocent, smile igniting his pale features as he embraced her. Merewen shook her head—already so much his father's son!
"Don't you give me that angelic look, mister. You've been picking on Abby Dumbledore again," Merewen said sternly.
"She put a dung bomb in my book bag!" he shrieked.
"What have I told you about picking on girls?" Merewen demanded, taking his face gently in her hands.
"That it's not nice and that someday all the girls I pick on will come back and turn me into a toad but Abby put bread crumbs on my bed and when I got back there were birds all over the place and she just laughed at me!" Radwan cried rapidly.
"Then I will talk to Abby's parents again but please, Radwan, I beg of you, please stop picking on the headmaster's daughter!" Merewen pleaded. Merewen knelt as best she could, her belly filling out beneath her dress. She and Severus' second child was well on its way. Radwan hung his head and pouted. Merewen lifted his chin in her hand and made him face her.
"How much do I love you, Radwan?" Merewen asked gently. Radwan smiled a little now.
"More than I can ask or imagine," he said.
"That's my baby," Merewen said, holding Radwan close.
"No, that's your baby, Mamma," Radwan replied, resting a hand on Merewen's belly.
"You are both my babies and I love you both very much," Merewen replied, kissing Radwan's head before giving it a little push back toward the tree he had been meaning to climb. Merewen shook her head and proceeded back into the castle. Arriving back at the Potions classroom, Merewen sank into a chair in Severus' office next door.
"What are we going to do with him?" Merewen muttered, rubbing her temples. Severus nearly cracked a smile. Radwan was much like him at that age.
"You may think this is funny, Severus Aquinas Snape, but your son has been harassing the headmaster's daughter," Merewen retorted "Professor McGonagall said that he hung Abby by the collar of her robes on a hook in the back of the transfiguration room," Severus winced a bit. All of the animals that McGonagall used for her classes were back there, and he knew well that it was a source of fear for young Abby. He would have to have a talk with Radwan and promised Merewen that he would. Apparently satisfied, Merewen dragged herself out of the chair to go take an afternoon nap. Severus continued to write at his desk for a few minutes and then stopped, placed the quill back in its well, and joined her there. A nap could do him good. He also found that spending quiet time with Merewen seemed to keep her mood swings fairly at bay. Frankly she was dangerous when she was angry! Severus remembered a time a couple months before when Merewen had been upset and ruined a potion when her hand slipped and she added whole porcupine quills to a potion that called for a splinter of one. She had stomped, grumbled, and shunned his affection for weeks.
Merewen cuddled backwards into his arms and opened her eyes. She murmured something to Severus about talking to the Dumbledore's about their daughter and Severus winced. He deeply respected Professor Dumbledore and quite frankly was afraid of Professor McGonagall, so it was not without a little trepidation that he made his way to the headmaster's office.
"Come in, Severus!" Albus called merrily when Severus knocked.
"Good day, headmaster, Professor McGonagall," Severus said politely. A gray tabby cat nestled in Albus' lap purred on as Albus stroked her; oblivious of the fact that another person was present in the room.
"What can I do for you, Severus?" asked Albus, the morning sun glinting off his spectacles. At that moment, young Abigail Dumbledore entered the room, greeted her parents, and made for the stairs leading to her bedroom.
"Abby, perhaps you had better stay here. This concerns you," suggested Snape. Albus' eyebrows gained a curious tilt and the tabby stopped purring. She jumped down from Albus' lap and seconds later, she transformed back into the emerald clad transfiguration professor.
"What's happened?" demanded Professor McGonagall, squaring her shoulders. "Has Radwan decided to dangle her from the Astronomy Tower windows now?"
"Minerva, please calm yourself," Albus said gently. Abigail walked to her mother and wrapped her arms around Minerva's waist. The willowy girl nearly disappeared beneath her mother's billowing robes.
"Severus, please sit down," Albus said. Severus did as he was told, but when she was invited to do the same, Minerva stubbornly stood near Albus' desk with one arm around Abigail's shoulders and the other stroking her long dark hair. Severus explained what Radwan had told them, and Albus patiently listened. Minerva held her tongue until Severus had finished, but when he was done, Minerva's normally stern expression was boiling with anger.
"How dare you!" she hissed. "Our daughter would never behave in such an unladylike manner!"
"But how do you explain the dung bomb in Radwan's book bag? Not to mention the birds and bread crumbs in his bed?" Severus pressed.
"Rubbish!"
Albus would have interjected, but once the two most heated tempers on his staff started up, there was nothing to do but sit back and hope not to get burned.
"Your son is a bald-faced liar and a bully!"
"Your daughter is a brazen dominatrix!"
"I see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree for the Snapes does it?"
"You would know that quite well, Professor!"
"Enough!" Albus finally shouted. "Minerva, please return to our chambers. Severus, I will speak to you this afternoon." Severus moved toward the door and Minerva to the stairs, guiding her daughter with her. "Abigail, come here please."
"Yes, Poppa?" Abigail said softly. Albus invited her to come and sit on his lap, which she readily did. She loved to play with his beard, and he enjoyed having his daughter wrapped in his paternal embrace nearly as much as he enjoyed holding Minerva near to him at night. He proceeded to have a very stern but fair talk with Abby. She knew she was in trouble. She avoided eye contact with her father for the most part. She took his beard in her hands and nimbly braided several lengths of it. Albus allowed the information to sink in for a quiet moment and then asked her if her mother had ever told her the story of the goddess Minerva.
Abby's eyes lit up. She loved it when her father told stories. He told them in a way that made them exciting. He told her about how Minerva was the greatest weaver in the land, and one day a mortal woman named Arachne became a better weaver so the women held a contest to see who the better weaver was. In the end, the goddess became so enraged that she turned Arachne into a spider and that's how the world came to have spiders. By the time he finished, Abby was asleep, and Albus kissed his daughter's forehead before carrying her upstairs to her room.
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Severus sat at a desk in the staff room and stared out the windows at the rain splattering the glass. He was contemplating a vacation for the family to go and visit Merewen's father and perhaps Severus' mother.
Severus had to admit that he didn't know his in-laws well. Merewen's mother had died under mysterious circumstances when Radwan was five, and Merewen didn't often speak to her father.
Severus had noted years ago that there were long, strange marks on Merewen's back, but when he had asked about them she insisted that they had come from playing quidditch as a teen. Severus checked the team registries the next day. Merewen's name didn't appear on any of the team rosters for the years she attended Hogwarts. Severus had sat back thoughtfully. Why would Merewen lie to him?
This thought nibbled his thoughts today as he worked on his lesson plans. Truth be told, he didn't know much about his wife's relationship with her family except that they had been perfectionist parents, and that Merewen had been their only child. Other than that, he knew little about them. Perhaps after the baby was born, Merewen would like them all to go and spend a week with him. Severus was sure that he would like that.
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Merewen's eyes popped open. She knew that there was someone else in the room, breathing hard on her neck. Only one person on Earth made her feel that way. Only one person made her want to scream in pale-faced fright.
A heavy hand pinned her shoulder to the bed and a malevolent face with hardened features composed the visage of the man before her.
"How long has it been?" he asked softly.
"If you're still breathing, not long enough," Merewen growled.
"Insolent bitch," he muttered, backhanding Merewen across the face. He hated it when they argued.
"What are you doing here?" Merewen demanded.
"I saw you in the paper. You've been busy," he replied. He was referring to the award that she and Severus had received for team-teaching in potions. He also referred to her pregnancy.
"That happens when you work for a living," Merewen retorted. The man hesitated only a second before grabbing Merewen by her hair and mercilessly beating her. He left her half an hour later, bruised, bleeding, and unconscious on the floor. The man stole back up the stairs toward the large main doors of the school.
"Master Capenum!" cried Professor Dumbledore, quite soundlessly appearing at the top of the main stairway. "I believe you've forgotten to greet your son-in-law during your visit today. Shall I send for him?" The relatively younger man watched as Dumbledore calmly descended the stairs and stood directly before him. Dumbledore was imposingly taller than Capenum, the headmaster's demeanor and regal carriage increasing the fear in his guest's eyes.
"This is not your business, Dumbledore," replied Capenum, his voice hovering over a growl.
"Where is Radwan? Wouldn't he have like to see his grandfather off?" Dumbledore continued.
"He was napping." Capenum replied coolly.
"What of Merewen?"
"Staying off her feet."
Dumbledore stared at him. He was trying to discern something from the frosted gaze of the man before him. Capenum spun on his heel and left Dumbledore there in the middle of the cold stone floor.
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Merewen awoke and shrank back until her back hit the wall. Her gaze shot around the room, searching out the danger she was so sure was still there. Her muscles clenched, her breathing and heart rate were racing. Once she realized that he had gone, she literally dragged herself to the bathroom that she shared with Severus in their quarters. She couldn't seem to muster the strength to lift herself any higher than her knees. There was too much blood, too many bruises. She viewed herself in a long mirror on one wall of the bathroom. Her long brown hair was torn, disheveled and crusted with sweat and her own blood. Her hair. It had always been her hair. That was the weapon that he used to make sure she couldn't escape him. With shaking hands, she reached for a scissors on the vanity counter.
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When Severus encountered Professor Dumbledore in the halls, Albus told him about the man's visit. Suddenly, Severus had a very ill feeling. He, accompanied by Professor Dumbledore, ran for the potions wing of the school. When they arrived and found the room in shambles, both men stopped and listened. They could hear a sobbing coming from behind the closed bathroom door. Severus jerked the door open and his heart nearly stopped. Blood from Merewen's wounds, new and old, had created small pools on the floor, and her hair, her long, thick, beautiful hair, lay in handfuls all over the bathroom. All that remained on Merewen's head were tufts of it that she was still trying to cut off. Her scalp was badly scratched and cut and bleeding. Severus didn't know where to begin. Before either man could decide, there was a scream from behind them. Radwan's already pale complexion blanched farther as he glimpsed his mother. He was sure she was dead. Dumbledore swept the child into his arms and took him out of the room, leaving Severus to try and figure out what had happened.
Between sobs trying to wrack his body, Severus grabbed the scissors from her, wrapped her in a large quilt and swept her into his arms. She was bleeding too much. There was something much worse than cuts and bruises wrong. She hardly fought him as he rushed to the hospital wing, startling Madam Pomfrey with what he had brought. It was not until the next morning that Severus emerged from the hospital wing. His eyes were puffy and bloodshot, his hands were shaking, his features had not seen sleep that night. Professor McGonagall cradled Radwan in her arms as Abigail dozed beside her, and Dumbledore paced the floor. He looked up at Severus as if to ask what had happened.
"We nearly lost the baby," Severus managed. "There was so much blood. Merewen is still unconscious. Poppy…had to deliver the baby prematurely. We have a daughter!" Severus wept, immediately leaving them. He fled down the halls, trying his best to hide his tears from them.
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Merewen drifted in and out of consciousness. Poppy's healing hands soothed and melted away her cuts and bruises, re-grew her chestnut hair, and diligently watched and cared for the delicately premature baby that had been emergency delivered a month too early. Severus rarely left the hospital wing. The potions classes were handled by Dumbledore or a competent substitute.
Severus spent most of his days holding the baby, whom he named Amara Rae. He desperately wanted her to know that daddy was there. He fed her on bottled milk, talked to her, and even rocked her to sleep. Madam Pomfrey found him one morning in the chair beside Merewen's bed, with Radwan cuddled in his lap and the baby securely in his and Radwan's arms.
Poppy ran a short diagnostic on Merewen. She wasn't doing well at all. She wasn't improving. Had her attacker somehow cursed her? It was unlike any curse Poppy had ever seen if that indeed was what it was. She left the family to rest, knowing that they needed every minute of the sleep they were getting.
Radwan awoke in his father's arms and looked at his sleeping baby sister. Lightly, he stroked her face and she opened her eyes. She didn't fuss or cry, but instead looked at him as if she were trying to memorize him. Severus awoke moments later and kissed Radwan's head.
"What are you thinking, son?" he asked softly.
"What does Amara mean?" Radwan asked. Severus smiled.
"It means 'eternal'," replied Severus, easing Radwan onto his feet and replacing the baby in her bassinet beside the bed.
"What does eternal mean?" Radwan asked. This time, Severus chuckled.
"It means forever, son," Severus replied again, tucking a blanket around the baby. Radwan pondered this. Forever was a long time. Amara Rae put together meant 'wise counsel forever'. Radwan thought this name to be an awesome responsibility. Would his sister truly be one of wise counsel? Radwan wasn't sure about this, but he was certain of one thing: his own name. It meant 'delight; faithful and bold'. He had no doubt that he was his parents' delight, but now there was a new baby. Would Amara be their parents' delight as well? All she seemed to do was make his father sad and his mother ill. Radwan climbed up onto the bed that Merewen slept upon and snuggled down next to her.
"Mamma, wake up," Radwan whimpered. Under normal circumstances, Severus would have asked his son to behave more maturely but right now, he himself felt like doing that very same thing. He wanted Merewen to hold him. He wanted her to touch his face that certain way that she did as to remind him without words that she loved him. He wanted to kiss her, touch her, to make love to her again. Moved to tears of loneliness, Severus wept. Radwan saw this and moved to embrace his father. Severus fell to his knees and held his son close.
I love you, son," Severus said, making sure that Radwan was looking directly at him when he said it.
"I love you, too, dad," Radwan replied, holding Severus tight. Severus then sent Radwan to his lessons. Merewen usually saw to Radwan's primary education, but in her absence, Professor McGonagall had graciously taken up the reigns of being Radwan's tutor. Now alone with Merewen, Severus knelt beside the bed and took Merewen's hand. He kissed it several times before drawing the strength to speak.
"I learned long ago not to give you orders, my dear," Severus began. "But today I will demand this. You must try. I know you are weak, I know you are hurting, and now I know that your father has been beating you all these years. Had I known, father or no father, he wouldn't have had the use of his arms with which to beat my wife. You are no longer his daughter. You are my wife. Today I am telling you that I need you in my life and I want you to try harder. You are a strong, intelligent, independent woman but I will not let it end this way. I will not be left a widower to raise two children on my own. This may be selfish and immature, but come back to me! Find the will to live and come back! If not for me then for Amara and for Radwan. They need you. They need us both in their lives. Wake up, Merewen!"
By the end of his speech, Severus had dried his eyes. He waited patiently for a few moments, holding Merewen's hand and silently pleading for her to squeeze it.
Very slowly, Severus began to feel pressure on his hand. Was it wishful thinking? The grip tightened. Now he was certain he wasn't dreaming.
"Merewen?" he said softly. Merewen forced her eyes open a bit. She looked at Severus with the swollen eyes of a woman who had cried more than the waters of the Nile.
"The baby," Merewen murmured.
"Safe," Severus replied.
"Radwan?"
"Untouched," Severus replied again. Merewen stretched her free hand lightly to touch her head.
"Poppy was able to re-grow it. She knew that you would eventually regret having done that," Severus told her. Severus helped his bride to sit up for the first time in a week. She was sore and stiff, but she wanted to see the baby. After an hour, Severus placed the baby back in her bassinet and pulled the blankets back on Merewen's bed.
"Severus?" Merewen muttered. "What are you doing?" Severus leaned over the bed and eased his wife back down onto her back. Slowly, starting at the bottom, he started to unbutton her nightgown.
"I'm doing what I couldn't do while you were unconscious," Severus replied. He kissed her soundly before shedding his jacket and coaxing her to roll over onto her stomach, something she had not been able to accomplish for nearly a year now. He poured scented oils into his hands and then smoothed his hands over her back. She moaned a bit, shifted slowly to get more comfortable, and then relaxed to allow Severus to give her a long, soothing, full body massage.
This massage served a very deep double purpose. Merewen's body received a rejuvenating treatment that it needed, and Severus got what he had been needing, an opportunity to touch her and be close to her again. Somehow, that bed seemed to make her inaccessible to him, it made her off limits. But now that she was awake, though she was still too weak to make love to him, he would settle for being able to touch her and being able to alleviate some of the pain that she obviously was feeling. It wasn't long after that when Merewen recovered enough to return to she and Severus' chambers in the dungeon area.
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It was a cool, rainy night very nearly a month later before Merewen was feeling well enough to cuddle again. It was much like torture to have the woman he loved shrink from his touch and his kiss, but what happened that night was well worth the wait. Merewen tucked herself into Severus' arms and rested her left arm over his chest. As Severus sighed in relaxation, preparing himself for another quiet night when Merewen stretched with feline certainty and lightly ran her fingernails over his chest. Surprised awake, Severus held his wife a bit tighter and smiled. Merewen lifted her head and caught him off guard by covering his mouth with her own. It took Severus a moment to process this and to return the kiss, trying with everything he had to not be so eager that he frightened her. He allowed Merewen to caress and touch as she pleased; only rolling her beneath him when he felt she was comfortable enough with him again. He wasn't disappointed. She returned the favor by allowing Severus the free reign to let his kisses meander where they willed and eventually to where she was hoping he would go.
"Oh, Severus!" she moaned softly.
"Merewen," Severus replied. She gasped in return, holding her breath a moment and clutching her pillow for several seconds.
"Say it," Severus begged. Merewen whimpered softly. Severus drove her closer to ecstasy and made his request again.
"Say it,"
There was one thing that Merewen said that, in the proper tone of voice, drove Severus to distraction. Something he never thought he would hear from anyone. Finally, seconds before she hit the peak of passion, she said it, and she and Severus shared a common reaction.
"My love!"
A quarter hour passed before coherent thought returned to them. Severus cuddled his wife against him and kissed her again, his hands smoothing over her body, adjusting to every curve, every hill and valley of her body. Twice more they made love before, weak with exhaustion, they fell asleep, happier than they'd been in a long time.
The next morning, Merewen's eyes were coaxed awake by the sun. When she glanced at the foot of the bed, she noted that Radwan had stretched himself out on the bed on the other side of Severus' legs. Severus of course, being a heavy sleeper, didn't notice. But when Merewen moved, Severus awoke and the two gently awakened their son.
"What were you doing last night? I knocked on the door but you didn't answer," Radwan yawned. Merewen and Severus exchanged partly amused, partly startled looks. They had not planned to have this conversation with him for a few years yet.
"There's a perfectly logical explanation for this, Radwan," Severus began. Merewen gave him an interested look.
"What?" Severus said, looking at Merewen in confusion.
"Go on, Severus, I'm waiting to see how you explain our bedroom activities to our eight year old," Merewen replied. Merewen rose momentarily and took the baby up into her arms, carrying Amara back to the bed with her and laying back down.
"Perhaps this discussion is best left for another day," Severus said.
"But what were you doing?" Radwan pressed, crawling up farther and snuggling down into the bed beside his father.
"We were playing a game," Severus said simply.
"A game?" Radwan asked. "Who won?" Merewen smiled as Severus pulled her and the baby closer. With them under one arm and Radwan under the other, he replied, "Your mother. She always wins."
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