Sarah- I'm sorry you had to get your wisdom teeth pulled out, I'm sure that
was pretty painful! Thanks for the review, as always, and thanks for being
in support of Damian and Maxie!
Story-
Corinthos Household-
They went to bed together the night before. They were still mad at one another for various reasons, but they shelved those reasons because their son needed them united. Michael was more important than whatever they were going through. It was still hard, though. They may have slept in the same bed, but they were mentally separated by worlds. They didn't touch one another, and had barely said a word before they both attempted to sleep. Maybe it would have went better if they had admitted one simple fact to each other, they wanted to be together. They wanted to actually feel united, feel that love that had gotten them through so much over the years of their all too complicated relationship. But neither of them did. As mad as they were at each other for their own reasons, Sonny and Carly were much angrier with themselves for allowing everything to take the snowball effect that it had. It was more than Damian's impact on their life, it was how they handled the situation and how they handled each other's way of dealing with it. If they would have just talked about it, been honest with each other, things would have likely been different. But they didn't. And things weren't. They were the same as they had always been, never talking about something until it became too much and threatened to tear away at their relationship. It was a cycle that had no end.
"Sonny?" Carly opened her eyes and saw her husband staring out of the window. He was already dressed.
"Good morning, Carly," Sonny said, but there was very little emotion to his voice. Before he would smile and make her feel like her world was complete, that life was worth living because they were together. Now, there was nothing, just a cold void.
"How long have you been up?"
"A few hours," Sonny turned to her. "I decided that I should wait for you to get up, we can go together."
"You didn't have to do that, Sonny."
"Yeah," Sonny corrected her, "I did. Michael wants us to be together, if we show him that we are he might get better faster."
"But we're not, Sonny!" Carly cried out. "We're fighting so much these days that we're only hurting him. Even if we put on the biggest fake smiles that we can, all we're going to be doing is lying to our son. I don't want to lie to him."
"Neither do I."
"So how do we fix it?" Carly asked.
"I wish I knew, but I don't. I don't know how to do much of anything these days. I'm failing at every corner, breaking down what few good relationships I've had in my life and shattering the new ones before they get a chance to be anything." Sonny sighed, "I used to be able to control every part of my life, no matter what. Now I find myself always wondering what's going to happen next, and it scares me." Sonny sat down on the bed, "You know, while you were sleeping, after I got ready, I went to his room. I looked at all the toys that were scattered around the floor, all the pictures that he's made for us. They were so happy and colorful. I laughed at the irony, because now the only thing that's happening to him through us is misery. I'm slowly destroying my children's lives, Carly."
"No, you're not." Carly crawled up to the edge of the bed and hugged him, "You're not doing anything wrong."
"How can you say that to me?" Sonny asked. "It's my fault that Damian left, my fault that Michael can't talk, my fault that Morgan could have died after you gave birth to him."
"Stop it right now, Sonny!" Carly ordered. "You cannot always be responsible for everyone's lives, you're not a God. No matter how much you try and make yourself think that you are, you're still a human, you still make mistakes."
"Don't remind me."
"You have to realize that, Sonny," Carly said. "You have to understand that you can't make everything work, no matter how much you want it. No matter how hard you try."
"I can't deal with failing, Carly. I just can't."
"I know," Carly rubbed her hand across his chest. "You are, after all, a very stubborn Corinthos male. You'll never admit defeat until the end."
Sonny grabbed her hand and turned his head to meet hers, "I've missed you."
"I've always been here."
Sonny shook his head, "No, you haven't. We haven't been together for weeks, and I've missed that."
"I know, I've missed it, too."
"I'm not going to ask anything of you anymore, Carly. You don't like him, fine, I can deal with that."
Carly smiled, "He's your son, Sonny. You want a relationship with him. I want you to have what you want, even if it isn't what I want."
"He doesn't want one with me."
"Then that is his problem and not yours," Carly defended her husband. "If he's willing to let someone as great as you get away then he doesn't deserve you as a father."
"He deserves someone better."
"There is no one better than you, Sonny! Nobody I've ever met is as compassionate towards children as you are, not even Courtney."
"He's not a child anymore," Sonny countered. "He's a young man. An independent young man who doesn't need his father."
"If he didn't need you, why would he come all the way across the country just to find you?"
"I don't know, Carly! I really do not know anything these days."
"You want to know what I do know, Sonny?" Carly asked. "I know that you're hurting because of Michael, you're hurting because of Damian, you're hurting about everything that's been going wrong in our lives as of late. And when you get like this it makes you doubt yourself in ways that you should never go through. You've worked through stuff that is so much worse than this and survived, Sonny. You can do it again."
"I've been through a lot, yeah," Sonny said. "I've been shot at, beat up, and left for dead. But all those things were dependent on me surviving, and I won't let myself leave the people I care about until I'm good and ready. This is different. This is me hurting people that I care about, and I can't fix that." Sonny shook his head, "Damian went to Alcazar yesterday."
Carly's eyes went wide, "What do you mean?"
"They had a conversation."
"Do you think he told Alcazar anything about you?"
"He doesn't know anything. Jason handles everything these days, you know that."
"Then why were they talking?" Carly was curious.
"I told him about his family, about his grandfather," Sonny began. "I don't know if I told you about that."
Carly shook her head, "You didn't."
"His grandfather was into organized crime when he was younger, when he was Damian's age. He broke away from the life when he started a family, but they never told Damian. I had to. He didn't believe me."
Carly found herself feeling something that she never thought she would feel for Damian, sorrow. It wasn't enough for them to just up and become the best of friends, but she did feel for him. He had living a life of lies, she knew how that worked. That didn't mean that he could be accepted in her family, though. "So he went to Alcazar looking for answers?"
"And finding out that I was telling the truth," Sonny said. "I had to tell him, Carly. I couldn't keep that a secret from him anymore."
"You did the right thing, Sonny. Never let anyone else tell you that."
"He stayed with Michael last night, Carly," Sonny wanted no more lies, not between himself and anyone.
"Damian did?"
"He didn't want to leave Michael alone in the hospital overnight. He refused to leave Michael's side. I couldn't tell him to leave, I just couldn't."
"Sonny," Carly whispered. "I wish you would have told me before we left."
"Would you have tried to keep him away?"
Carly looked at him, "I would have asked Michael if he wanted it."
"I did ask him, Carly. He was happy to be around Damian again. You should see them together, they connect. They've been around each other for such a short time, but they connect so well."
"I see that," Carly said. "I try and deny it so much, but I see it."
"You can't deny that they care about each other."
"I know," Carly said sadly. "I'm glad someone was with him, I really am. Even if it was him."
Sonny hugged Carly, "I don't want us to be fighting ever again."
"Neither do I." Carly wiped away some of the tears, "Let me get ready, and we'll go see our boy."
Sonny smiled as he watched her leave into the bathroom. Maybe things would be a little bit better. He could only hope.
218
Story-
Corinthos Household-
They went to bed together the night before. They were still mad at one another for various reasons, but they shelved those reasons because their son needed them united. Michael was more important than whatever they were going through. It was still hard, though. They may have slept in the same bed, but they were mentally separated by worlds. They didn't touch one another, and had barely said a word before they both attempted to sleep. Maybe it would have went better if they had admitted one simple fact to each other, they wanted to be together. They wanted to actually feel united, feel that love that had gotten them through so much over the years of their all too complicated relationship. But neither of them did. As mad as they were at each other for their own reasons, Sonny and Carly were much angrier with themselves for allowing everything to take the snowball effect that it had. It was more than Damian's impact on their life, it was how they handled the situation and how they handled each other's way of dealing with it. If they would have just talked about it, been honest with each other, things would have likely been different. But they didn't. And things weren't. They were the same as they had always been, never talking about something until it became too much and threatened to tear away at their relationship. It was a cycle that had no end.
"Sonny?" Carly opened her eyes and saw her husband staring out of the window. He was already dressed.
"Good morning, Carly," Sonny said, but there was very little emotion to his voice. Before he would smile and make her feel like her world was complete, that life was worth living because they were together. Now, there was nothing, just a cold void.
"How long have you been up?"
"A few hours," Sonny turned to her. "I decided that I should wait for you to get up, we can go together."
"You didn't have to do that, Sonny."
"Yeah," Sonny corrected her, "I did. Michael wants us to be together, if we show him that we are he might get better faster."
"But we're not, Sonny!" Carly cried out. "We're fighting so much these days that we're only hurting him. Even if we put on the biggest fake smiles that we can, all we're going to be doing is lying to our son. I don't want to lie to him."
"Neither do I."
"So how do we fix it?" Carly asked.
"I wish I knew, but I don't. I don't know how to do much of anything these days. I'm failing at every corner, breaking down what few good relationships I've had in my life and shattering the new ones before they get a chance to be anything." Sonny sighed, "I used to be able to control every part of my life, no matter what. Now I find myself always wondering what's going to happen next, and it scares me." Sonny sat down on the bed, "You know, while you were sleeping, after I got ready, I went to his room. I looked at all the toys that were scattered around the floor, all the pictures that he's made for us. They were so happy and colorful. I laughed at the irony, because now the only thing that's happening to him through us is misery. I'm slowly destroying my children's lives, Carly."
"No, you're not." Carly crawled up to the edge of the bed and hugged him, "You're not doing anything wrong."
"How can you say that to me?" Sonny asked. "It's my fault that Damian left, my fault that Michael can't talk, my fault that Morgan could have died after you gave birth to him."
"Stop it right now, Sonny!" Carly ordered. "You cannot always be responsible for everyone's lives, you're not a God. No matter how much you try and make yourself think that you are, you're still a human, you still make mistakes."
"Don't remind me."
"You have to realize that, Sonny," Carly said. "You have to understand that you can't make everything work, no matter how much you want it. No matter how hard you try."
"I can't deal with failing, Carly. I just can't."
"I know," Carly rubbed her hand across his chest. "You are, after all, a very stubborn Corinthos male. You'll never admit defeat until the end."
Sonny grabbed her hand and turned his head to meet hers, "I've missed you."
"I've always been here."
Sonny shook his head, "No, you haven't. We haven't been together for weeks, and I've missed that."
"I know, I've missed it, too."
"I'm not going to ask anything of you anymore, Carly. You don't like him, fine, I can deal with that."
Carly smiled, "He's your son, Sonny. You want a relationship with him. I want you to have what you want, even if it isn't what I want."
"He doesn't want one with me."
"Then that is his problem and not yours," Carly defended her husband. "If he's willing to let someone as great as you get away then he doesn't deserve you as a father."
"He deserves someone better."
"There is no one better than you, Sonny! Nobody I've ever met is as compassionate towards children as you are, not even Courtney."
"He's not a child anymore," Sonny countered. "He's a young man. An independent young man who doesn't need his father."
"If he didn't need you, why would he come all the way across the country just to find you?"
"I don't know, Carly! I really do not know anything these days."
"You want to know what I do know, Sonny?" Carly asked. "I know that you're hurting because of Michael, you're hurting because of Damian, you're hurting about everything that's been going wrong in our lives as of late. And when you get like this it makes you doubt yourself in ways that you should never go through. You've worked through stuff that is so much worse than this and survived, Sonny. You can do it again."
"I've been through a lot, yeah," Sonny said. "I've been shot at, beat up, and left for dead. But all those things were dependent on me surviving, and I won't let myself leave the people I care about until I'm good and ready. This is different. This is me hurting people that I care about, and I can't fix that." Sonny shook his head, "Damian went to Alcazar yesterday."
Carly's eyes went wide, "What do you mean?"
"They had a conversation."
"Do you think he told Alcazar anything about you?"
"He doesn't know anything. Jason handles everything these days, you know that."
"Then why were they talking?" Carly was curious.
"I told him about his family, about his grandfather," Sonny began. "I don't know if I told you about that."
Carly shook her head, "You didn't."
"His grandfather was into organized crime when he was younger, when he was Damian's age. He broke away from the life when he started a family, but they never told Damian. I had to. He didn't believe me."
Carly found herself feeling something that she never thought she would feel for Damian, sorrow. It wasn't enough for them to just up and become the best of friends, but she did feel for him. He had living a life of lies, she knew how that worked. That didn't mean that he could be accepted in her family, though. "So he went to Alcazar looking for answers?"
"And finding out that I was telling the truth," Sonny said. "I had to tell him, Carly. I couldn't keep that a secret from him anymore."
"You did the right thing, Sonny. Never let anyone else tell you that."
"He stayed with Michael last night, Carly," Sonny wanted no more lies, not between himself and anyone.
"Damian did?"
"He didn't want to leave Michael alone in the hospital overnight. He refused to leave Michael's side. I couldn't tell him to leave, I just couldn't."
"Sonny," Carly whispered. "I wish you would have told me before we left."
"Would you have tried to keep him away?"
Carly looked at him, "I would have asked Michael if he wanted it."
"I did ask him, Carly. He was happy to be around Damian again. You should see them together, they connect. They've been around each other for such a short time, but they connect so well."
"I see that," Carly said. "I try and deny it so much, but I see it."
"You can't deny that they care about each other."
"I know," Carly said sadly. "I'm glad someone was with him, I really am. Even if it was him."
Sonny hugged Carly, "I don't want us to be fighting ever again."
"Neither do I." Carly wiped away some of the tears, "Let me get ready, and we'll go see our boy."
Sonny smiled as he watched her leave into the bathroom. Maybe things would be a little bit better. He could only hope.
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