*Author's notes*: Sorry for taking so long, I got writers block. Anyways, a
few actual notes. I guess some people were confused because I'm not good at
explanations. This isn't a parody of Sorcerers Stone (but you can pretend
it is if you want). It's supposed to be a generalization of all the Harry
Potter novels. Which I don't own, by the way... in case you hadn't noticed
that through my preschool level writing skills and extreme lack of
inspiration. I'd also like to apologize profusely, just in case I suddenly
begin writing in a new style; this happens to me often, especially since I
haven't added to this in a while. On with the story...
==== In a thoroughly indescribably twist of fate, Harry and his friends were in all the same classes. This was mainly due to the schools puzzling 'house' system. The school had four houses, two of which were important. Slytherine was formed of evil reptilian mutants, and Gryffindor was home to many a brave hearted, talented, much loved group of rag-tag young heroes. The other two houses barely existed, other than to provide random opponents in the complicated game of quidditch.
Harry, Ron and Hermione magically went to their magical classes to magically learn of magical things. Much magic was involved. It magically was very magically exciting, but magically inadequately described. Harry had some magically interesting magical interactions with his magical professors while they magically ignored their magically magical teaching responsibilities. Magic, magic magic.
After classes, Harry and his lackeys were sitting in the Gyffindor common room, not doing the homework they were assigned. Hermione, despite always having her homework completed, refused to be seen doing so, as she would be a much less interesting character.
"My life sucks." Said Harry, interrupting any conversation that could have been taking place. "I need to save the school, so that people will love me. What's for dinner tonight?" The group then skipped to the dining hall so they could discus secret issues in a less confidential environment.
"Let's break some school rules tomorrow, and visit Hag rid, our tall and relatively useless friend!" Ron cried, being sure that all of the school's people of authority could hear him. Harry and Hermione agreed.
Magical classes magically happened again. They magically were just as magically interesting, and just as magically skipped over as they magically were the previous magical day. Harry magically was grateful for the magical opportunity to magically acquire the magical, latent ability to magically wield magic ability well magically above his magical age, so that he could magically defeat the magically most powerful magical dark wizard of all magical time.
After that, they snuck out of school to see Hagrid. For some undescribed and undisputed reason, it was against the rules and they had to do it with the utmost caution. They arrived at the sad, decrepit little hut, and went through some nonsense with an angry, vicious animal.
*Note to authors - to simulate Hagrid's speech, stuff three socks into your mouth and attempt to read Shakespeare. Then write down what you hear, and randomly place character names written the way a drunken Spaniard with a lisp would approximate a Scottish accent. * "'Arry ulped scorfetteringley ashterupl 'coauled Ron slje'lest." Hagrid remarked.
"Let's not talk about politics. Can you give us a helpful clue to win in the fight against Voldemort, in your innocent and childlike manner?" Hermione said. Hagrid did so, and the three left him sadly alone, once again, in his twig house. Such was the plot twist, which was really more of the plot turning it's head to the side, seeing a long and difficult road to travel, and continuing on it's predicted course.
==
Such is the end of a short chapter.
==== In a thoroughly indescribably twist of fate, Harry and his friends were in all the same classes. This was mainly due to the schools puzzling 'house' system. The school had four houses, two of which were important. Slytherine was formed of evil reptilian mutants, and Gryffindor was home to many a brave hearted, talented, much loved group of rag-tag young heroes. The other two houses barely existed, other than to provide random opponents in the complicated game of quidditch.
Harry, Ron and Hermione magically went to their magical classes to magically learn of magical things. Much magic was involved. It magically was very magically exciting, but magically inadequately described. Harry had some magically interesting magical interactions with his magical professors while they magically ignored their magically magical teaching responsibilities. Magic, magic magic.
After classes, Harry and his lackeys were sitting in the Gyffindor common room, not doing the homework they were assigned. Hermione, despite always having her homework completed, refused to be seen doing so, as she would be a much less interesting character.
"My life sucks." Said Harry, interrupting any conversation that could have been taking place. "I need to save the school, so that people will love me. What's for dinner tonight?" The group then skipped to the dining hall so they could discus secret issues in a less confidential environment.
"Let's break some school rules tomorrow, and visit Hag rid, our tall and relatively useless friend!" Ron cried, being sure that all of the school's people of authority could hear him. Harry and Hermione agreed.
Magical classes magically happened again. They magically were just as magically interesting, and just as magically skipped over as they magically were the previous magical day. Harry magically was grateful for the magical opportunity to magically acquire the magical, latent ability to magically wield magic ability well magically above his magical age, so that he could magically defeat the magically most powerful magical dark wizard of all magical time.
After that, they snuck out of school to see Hagrid. For some undescribed and undisputed reason, it was against the rules and they had to do it with the utmost caution. They arrived at the sad, decrepit little hut, and went through some nonsense with an angry, vicious animal.
*Note to authors - to simulate Hagrid's speech, stuff three socks into your mouth and attempt to read Shakespeare. Then write down what you hear, and randomly place character names written the way a drunken Spaniard with a lisp would approximate a Scottish accent. * "'Arry ulped scorfetteringley ashterupl 'coauled Ron slje'lest." Hagrid remarked.
"Let's not talk about politics. Can you give us a helpful clue to win in the fight against Voldemort, in your innocent and childlike manner?" Hermione said. Hagrid did so, and the three left him sadly alone, once again, in his twig house. Such was the plot twist, which was really more of the plot turning it's head to the side, seeing a long and difficult road to travel, and continuing on it's predicted course.
==
Such is the end of a short chapter.