I LIIIIVE! Now I must live long enough to think enough to make a chapter... Hm... troubled times, these are!
MySchemingMind - Thanks for the support! Though, it's not okay to be crazy just once in a while... It's required!
Now I'll try and cook up another Chapter that actually has that strange thing called plot progression.
--
"All right, there you go." McCoy said, a few hours later. He had just finished fixing up Jones' ankle. "Now, don't put too much weight on it, and you'll be just fine." Just then, there was a buzzing sound in the air. Jones looked around, extremely startled.
"What's that?" He asked. McCoy got nervous.
"Uh.... It's just a... er..."
The object of inquisition, and the object that was making the noise, caught Jones' eye. "AHHH! A BEE!" He dove into the mud and cowered. McCoy sighed. Then Spock put his two cents in.
"Actually, Ensign, this arthropod is not a bee. It is a wasp."
Jones sprang up, and turned to run, when Jahoam caught him by the shoulders.
"Oh, bloody hell." Bolam mumbled, and caught the wasp in a jar. "See, Ensign? It can't hurt you now." The wasp was too busy ramming the sides of the jar trying to get out to bother anyone. It looked extremely angry.
Jones relaxed in Jahoam's grip, and Jahoam let go. Jones didn't run.
McCoy looked on in amazement. "How... but... how did you..."
Boomy was chuckling in his strange, booming way. "Ooooh, this is too much!"
Spock looked at where the voice was projecting from quizzically. "What is so humorous, sir?"
"You people - and Vulcans - and-!" Came the booming reply. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Spock decided that Boomy must have been at least formerly human, as he was completely illogical.
"So, where are you guys trying to go?" Jahoam asked, dusting himself off.
He got no reply for quite a while, as Jones was still quite excited (Read- really scared) over the bee/wasp debacle. After a long wait, Spock answered.
"We are currently on the quest to find the Holy Plot." Spock said gravely. That set Boomy off on another bout of laughter, and forced a chuckle out of Jahoam. Trust me, if you had heard Spock saying it that way, you would have laughed, too.
"I fail to understand the behavior of humans..." Spock started.
"Ahem!"
"And disembodied voices."
"Thank you!"
After Jahoam had forced himself to calm down, he continued his impromptu interrogation. "And do you have any idea what that, er, is?"
Before Spock could reply, McCoy injected his thoughts. "How would we? We've never seen a decent plot anywhere! Even back in the good old days with Gene [1], most of the plots weren't all that decent, when you thought about them, if they existed at all."
"Yeah... My authors don't know what a plot is, much less how to make a decent one."
Their little chat was cut abruptly short with a bright light from the sky and a booming voice, though different from Boomy's booming voice.
"Spock... Captain of the Enterprise..." This was, of course, God.
And Spock, being Spock, couldn't go without correcting the almighty.
"Actually, I am only the acting-Captain of the Enterprise. Captain Kirk is the captain."
That stopped everyone short - even Boomy didn't laugh. There came an almighty sigh after a long while.
"Spock, you know that I could smite you where you stand."
Spock looked skeptical at where he thought the voice was coming from. He was right.
"Don't you look skeptically at me! Here, watch!" There was a flash of light, and five red shirts suddenly fell over, dead. Whether it was the work of God or they simply had sudden heart attacks, nobody ever will know.
Spock was, even after that, not impressed. "You have killed some of our Security officers. However, that is not an overly difficult task."
God grumbled. "True enough. But can I please continue? Even if you don't believe me, you believe the author, and he'll strike you dead if I can't continue."
Spock considered this, and nodded for Him to continue.
"Thank you. Now, as I was saying...
"Spock... Acting-Captain of the Enterprise... I have am hereby charging you with the most holy of quests... You shall find the Holy Plot!"
There was a murmur.
"Uh, your Lordship," McCoy began nervously. "I dislike correcting you like this, but we are already on that quest."
A silence.
Then an Almighty 'BAH!'
"Fine! I'll find something else for you..." There was a booming sound of shuffling papers. "Hm... okay, this has been left untouched for a long time..." He said after a long while. "Many centuries ago, around 950 AD in your Earth-years, I charged another with this quest. His name was King Arthur. But he was an idiot and got arrested."
Spock cleared his throat.
"What?!" God shouted.
"If it was approximately 950 AD, there would be no police to arrest someone; and King Arthur was fictional."
"Okay, who's the god here, huh? You, or me? Yeah, me. That's what I thought. So shut up and let me finish!"
Spock opened his mouth to say something. What, we may never know, for God cut him off.
"No! Just zip it!"
Spock wisely kept his mouth closed this time.
"Thank you!" God cleared his own throat. "Now, as I was saying, Arthur was an idiot, and his Knights of the Round Table worse, and they all got either killed or arrested. And I forgot about it for a few centuries. But now I looked around, and here it is. You are charged to find the Holy Grail. A good quest, if you ask me."
Spock spoke again. "We did not ask you."
God groaned. "You know what? Just find the freaking Grail, okay? And have your Captain back, he's annoying. And I'll be taking your guides. And just stop asking me stuff. No!" He said when Spock began to object to something again. "Just don't!"
With that, Kirk appeared in front of them, Wedge and Jaeih disappeared, and another chapter ended.
--
There, how's that? Short, yes, and it took a really long time to get out, but it's out. And I'll try my best to have another sooner.
[1] Gene is from some of Tavia's stories. The Mask of Stella and Down With the Sets AKA Everybody Goes Nuts I know he's in for sure, but I'm not sure if he's in anything else. And no, I'm no dissin' her stories - they're awesome (better then anything I've done), but consider it from the characters perspective...
MySchemingMind - Thanks for the support! Though, it's not okay to be crazy just once in a while... It's required!
Now I'll try and cook up another Chapter that actually has that strange thing called plot progression.
--
"All right, there you go." McCoy said, a few hours later. He had just finished fixing up Jones' ankle. "Now, don't put too much weight on it, and you'll be just fine." Just then, there was a buzzing sound in the air. Jones looked around, extremely startled.
"What's that?" He asked. McCoy got nervous.
"Uh.... It's just a... er..."
The object of inquisition, and the object that was making the noise, caught Jones' eye. "AHHH! A BEE!" He dove into the mud and cowered. McCoy sighed. Then Spock put his two cents in.
"Actually, Ensign, this arthropod is not a bee. It is a wasp."
Jones sprang up, and turned to run, when Jahoam caught him by the shoulders.
"Oh, bloody hell." Bolam mumbled, and caught the wasp in a jar. "See, Ensign? It can't hurt you now." The wasp was too busy ramming the sides of the jar trying to get out to bother anyone. It looked extremely angry.
Jones relaxed in Jahoam's grip, and Jahoam let go. Jones didn't run.
McCoy looked on in amazement. "How... but... how did you..."
Boomy was chuckling in his strange, booming way. "Ooooh, this is too much!"
Spock looked at where the voice was projecting from quizzically. "What is so humorous, sir?"
"You people - and Vulcans - and-!" Came the booming reply. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Spock decided that Boomy must have been at least formerly human, as he was completely illogical.
"So, where are you guys trying to go?" Jahoam asked, dusting himself off.
He got no reply for quite a while, as Jones was still quite excited (Read- really scared) over the bee/wasp debacle. After a long wait, Spock answered.
"We are currently on the quest to find the Holy Plot." Spock said gravely. That set Boomy off on another bout of laughter, and forced a chuckle out of Jahoam. Trust me, if you had heard Spock saying it that way, you would have laughed, too.
"I fail to understand the behavior of humans..." Spock started.
"Ahem!"
"And disembodied voices."
"Thank you!"
After Jahoam had forced himself to calm down, he continued his impromptu interrogation. "And do you have any idea what that, er, is?"
Before Spock could reply, McCoy injected his thoughts. "How would we? We've never seen a decent plot anywhere! Even back in the good old days with Gene [1], most of the plots weren't all that decent, when you thought about them, if they existed at all."
"Yeah... My authors don't know what a plot is, much less how to make a decent one."
Their little chat was cut abruptly short with a bright light from the sky and a booming voice, though different from Boomy's booming voice.
"Spock... Captain of the Enterprise..." This was, of course, God.
And Spock, being Spock, couldn't go without correcting the almighty.
"Actually, I am only the acting-Captain of the Enterprise. Captain Kirk is the captain."
That stopped everyone short - even Boomy didn't laugh. There came an almighty sigh after a long while.
"Spock, you know that I could smite you where you stand."
Spock looked skeptical at where he thought the voice was coming from. He was right.
"Don't you look skeptically at me! Here, watch!" There was a flash of light, and five red shirts suddenly fell over, dead. Whether it was the work of God or they simply had sudden heart attacks, nobody ever will know.
Spock was, even after that, not impressed. "You have killed some of our Security officers. However, that is not an overly difficult task."
God grumbled. "True enough. But can I please continue? Even if you don't believe me, you believe the author, and he'll strike you dead if I can't continue."
Spock considered this, and nodded for Him to continue.
"Thank you. Now, as I was saying...
"Spock... Acting-Captain of the Enterprise... I have am hereby charging you with the most holy of quests... You shall find the Holy Plot!"
There was a murmur.
"Uh, your Lordship," McCoy began nervously. "I dislike correcting you like this, but we are already on that quest."
A silence.
Then an Almighty 'BAH!'
"Fine! I'll find something else for you..." There was a booming sound of shuffling papers. "Hm... okay, this has been left untouched for a long time..." He said after a long while. "Many centuries ago, around 950 AD in your Earth-years, I charged another with this quest. His name was King Arthur. But he was an idiot and got arrested."
Spock cleared his throat.
"What?!" God shouted.
"If it was approximately 950 AD, there would be no police to arrest someone; and King Arthur was fictional."
"Okay, who's the god here, huh? You, or me? Yeah, me. That's what I thought. So shut up and let me finish!"
Spock opened his mouth to say something. What, we may never know, for God cut him off.
"No! Just zip it!"
Spock wisely kept his mouth closed this time.
"Thank you!" God cleared his own throat. "Now, as I was saying, Arthur was an idiot, and his Knights of the Round Table worse, and they all got either killed or arrested. And I forgot about it for a few centuries. But now I looked around, and here it is. You are charged to find the Holy Grail. A good quest, if you ask me."
Spock spoke again. "We did not ask you."
God groaned. "You know what? Just find the freaking Grail, okay? And have your Captain back, he's annoying. And I'll be taking your guides. And just stop asking me stuff. No!" He said when Spock began to object to something again. "Just don't!"
With that, Kirk appeared in front of them, Wedge and Jaeih disappeared, and another chapter ended.
--
There, how's that? Short, yes, and it took a really long time to get out, but it's out. And I'll try my best to have another sooner.
[1] Gene is from some of Tavia's stories. The Mask of Stella and Down With the Sets AKA Everybody Goes Nuts I know he's in for sure, but I'm not sure if he's in anything else. And no, I'm no dissin' her stories - they're awesome (better then anything I've done), but consider it from the characters perspective...