*Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 9, or its characters.
Chapter 3
The Precocious Eiko and the Two Idiots
It was Eiko.
"How on Terra did you get in here?" Zidane asked.
"Ugh. Actually, I don't know. I don't remember. It all just doesn't make any sense, like why people laugh hysterically at that idiot actor, Jim Carey."
"Well, quick! Let's call the police!" Garnet cried. "Quina's still lurking around here! And, not to mention, she's after our food!"
"Hey, I never noticed that before!" Zidane said, ignoring the yelling Garnet.
"What?" Garnet wondered, as she dialed 911 on Zidane's phone.
"That little horn on Eiko's forehead! That's weird!"
"No, you may not touch it," Eiko said, while slapping away Zidane's hand.
"Hey, did you lock the door?" Garnet asked, holding the phone to her ear as it began to ring. "Lock it!"
Zidane locked it. Eiko looked at him as if looking into the eyes of a true imbecile.
Zidane's cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his back pocket, and pressed the button to talk. It was his mom.
"Zidane, I'm coming home! Another unfortunate and discouraging day for me."
"Mom, listen to me! Someone's after us! It's that criminal Quina! She tried to attack us and steal all our food on the way home!"
"What?!? Quina?!?!? Did she try to eat you?"
"No, but she did throw up this little girl, Eiko. She's here with us now."
"Oh my goodness! Did you call 911 yet?!?"
"Garnet's trying to talk to them now."
"Okay. I'll be right home!"
She hung up. Zidane put the cell phone away.
"It's still ringing," Garnet said. "Zidane, I'm really scared. This is freaking me out."
"I'm getting the frying pan," Zidane said.
"What are you doing?!?" Eiko screamed.
"What does it look like? I'm getting the frying pan," Zidane said, opening a kitchen cupboard, and extracting a pot from it. "Here you go. Take this, Eiko. Catch!"
Zidane threw a pot to Eiko, and she caught it. He pulled a frying pan out of the same cupboard, and clutched it firmly in his hand. Then, all of a sudden, there was a loud barrage of noises: BAM! BANG! CLANK! CRASH! SHATTER!
"Whoa! What was that?!?" cried a shaken Garnet, dropping the phone from her hands.
"Well, I don't know for sure, but I think it could've either been the sound of a nuclear test-run explosion, where a race of intelligent, shrewd chickens are planning to control the world by means of whole-wheat bagels, or it's Quina!" Zidane said. "What are you waiting for?!? Call the police!"
"I've been trying!" Garnet screamed back. "I'm scared!"
"Okay, I'll go look," Zidane said. "I think it came from the garage."
He then proceeded to open the garage door.
"Wait!" Garnet said. "Hold on!"
She left the room, and came back with an orange in her hand.
"What the heck is that for?" Eiko asked.
"Eating!" Garnet responded, unusually gleefully. "I'm hungry. I haven't had my after-school snack!"
"Is the frontal lobe in your cranium fully functional?"
"Huh?!? You know, for a little girl, you use big.....ugh.....um.....what's the word....."
They awaited in silence.
"Words! That was it! Words! You use big words!"
Eiko looked at her with a worried expression, turning to Zidane, who still held his hand on the knob of the garage door.
"Open it, Zidane!" Eiko screamed. "Before I lose my sanity!"
He opened the door, with Eiko and Garnet looking over his shoulder. Garnet began shaking with fear again, while Eiko stood poised, the pot clutched in her hand and raised in the air. The door made a loud, long creaking sound. They hesitantly entered the garage.
"Nobody here," Zidane said. "But look! The second shelf came completely off and fell to the floor. All of the tools are everywhere! What a mess! My dad is gonna have a chocobo!"
"So this was what caused all of the noise. Well, at least nothing got eaten," Eiko commented, trying to console (or maybe frighten) the terrified Garnet.
They went back inside the house, to the kitchen, where Garnet dialed a number on the phone. It rang, and someone answered on the other line.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Freya! What's up? It's Garnet. Um, yeah. Uh huh. Yeah. Well, of course! Yeah!"
"Garnet, what are you doing?!? Call the police!" Eiko said.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Ha. I forgot."
Garnet said goodbye to Freya, and ended her call.
"Okay, it's 911, right?"
"Ugh! Give me that!" Eiko said, snatching the phone from Garnet's hand.
She dialed 911. Nothing happened. No ring or anything.
"That's bizarre."
Garnet became vexed and irritated.
"Ugh. Give me it, little girl. You're too immature. Let someone older and smarter do it."
Eiko let out a laugh, leaving her vulnerable to phone snatching. Garnet swiped the phone away from her.
"Thank you!"
Suddenly, Eiko noticed something.
"What a minute! Something isn't right."
She looked around, searching everywhere. She searched all of the rooms, the whole house. Zidane had vanished.
Chapter 3
The Precocious Eiko and the Two Idiots
It was Eiko.
"How on Terra did you get in here?" Zidane asked.
"Ugh. Actually, I don't know. I don't remember. It all just doesn't make any sense, like why people laugh hysterically at that idiot actor, Jim Carey."
"Well, quick! Let's call the police!" Garnet cried. "Quina's still lurking around here! And, not to mention, she's after our food!"
"Hey, I never noticed that before!" Zidane said, ignoring the yelling Garnet.
"What?" Garnet wondered, as she dialed 911 on Zidane's phone.
"That little horn on Eiko's forehead! That's weird!"
"No, you may not touch it," Eiko said, while slapping away Zidane's hand.
"Hey, did you lock the door?" Garnet asked, holding the phone to her ear as it began to ring. "Lock it!"
Zidane locked it. Eiko looked at him as if looking into the eyes of a true imbecile.
Zidane's cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his back pocket, and pressed the button to talk. It was his mom.
"Zidane, I'm coming home! Another unfortunate and discouraging day for me."
"Mom, listen to me! Someone's after us! It's that criminal Quina! She tried to attack us and steal all our food on the way home!"
"What?!? Quina?!?!? Did she try to eat you?"
"No, but she did throw up this little girl, Eiko. She's here with us now."
"Oh my goodness! Did you call 911 yet?!?"
"Garnet's trying to talk to them now."
"Okay. I'll be right home!"
She hung up. Zidane put the cell phone away.
"It's still ringing," Garnet said. "Zidane, I'm really scared. This is freaking me out."
"I'm getting the frying pan," Zidane said.
"What are you doing?!?" Eiko screamed.
"What does it look like? I'm getting the frying pan," Zidane said, opening a kitchen cupboard, and extracting a pot from it. "Here you go. Take this, Eiko. Catch!"
Zidane threw a pot to Eiko, and she caught it. He pulled a frying pan out of the same cupboard, and clutched it firmly in his hand. Then, all of a sudden, there was a loud barrage of noises: BAM! BANG! CLANK! CRASH! SHATTER!
"Whoa! What was that?!?" cried a shaken Garnet, dropping the phone from her hands.
"Well, I don't know for sure, but I think it could've either been the sound of a nuclear test-run explosion, where a race of intelligent, shrewd chickens are planning to control the world by means of whole-wheat bagels, or it's Quina!" Zidane said. "What are you waiting for?!? Call the police!"
"I've been trying!" Garnet screamed back. "I'm scared!"
"Okay, I'll go look," Zidane said. "I think it came from the garage."
He then proceeded to open the garage door.
"Wait!" Garnet said. "Hold on!"
She left the room, and came back with an orange in her hand.
"What the heck is that for?" Eiko asked.
"Eating!" Garnet responded, unusually gleefully. "I'm hungry. I haven't had my after-school snack!"
"Is the frontal lobe in your cranium fully functional?"
"Huh?!? You know, for a little girl, you use big.....ugh.....um.....what's the word....."
They awaited in silence.
"Words! That was it! Words! You use big words!"
Eiko looked at her with a worried expression, turning to Zidane, who still held his hand on the knob of the garage door.
"Open it, Zidane!" Eiko screamed. "Before I lose my sanity!"
He opened the door, with Eiko and Garnet looking over his shoulder. Garnet began shaking with fear again, while Eiko stood poised, the pot clutched in her hand and raised in the air. The door made a loud, long creaking sound. They hesitantly entered the garage.
"Nobody here," Zidane said. "But look! The second shelf came completely off and fell to the floor. All of the tools are everywhere! What a mess! My dad is gonna have a chocobo!"
"So this was what caused all of the noise. Well, at least nothing got eaten," Eiko commented, trying to console (or maybe frighten) the terrified Garnet.
They went back inside the house, to the kitchen, where Garnet dialed a number on the phone. It rang, and someone answered on the other line.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Freya! What's up? It's Garnet. Um, yeah. Uh huh. Yeah. Well, of course! Yeah!"
"Garnet, what are you doing?!? Call the police!" Eiko said.
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Ha. I forgot."
Garnet said goodbye to Freya, and ended her call.
"Okay, it's 911, right?"
"Ugh! Give me that!" Eiko said, snatching the phone from Garnet's hand.
She dialed 911. Nothing happened. No ring or anything.
"That's bizarre."
Garnet became vexed and irritated.
"Ugh. Give me it, little girl. You're too immature. Let someone older and smarter do it."
Eiko let out a laugh, leaving her vulnerable to phone snatching. Garnet swiped the phone away from her.
"Thank you!"
Suddenly, Eiko noticed something.
"What a minute! Something isn't right."
She looked around, searching everywhere. She searched all of the rooms, the whole house. Zidane had vanished.