*Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 9, or its characters.
Chapter 8
At Least It's All Over
Fat and other bodily fluids flooded Zidane's house like a violent deluge. All of the eidolons were expelled from the gourmand's body now; all sent every which way from the catastrophic explosion. Garnet allowed them to return (to wherever the came from; where do they come from anyway?) home. Many eidolons were already sent home due to the strong expulsion of the blast. The gourmand's bursting was like a cataclysmic eruption.
Meanwhile, in faraway Alaska, the expelled chocobo landed headfirst in a thick snow bank. He recovered and shook off the snow happily; he was finally free from the treacherous bowels of Quina.
"Kweh! Kweh!"
Then, without warning, a humongous penguin snuck up behind the chocobo, and with one scoop of the mouth, swallowed the chocobo. It burped and waddled away in indifference.
Back at Zidane's house, the kitchen and the living room were completely drenched in a swampy soup. Garnet tried to climb up high to prevent damage to her clothes and hair.
"Gross!" she exclaimed, fretting.
"Ah! Mom's going to kill me! Don't worry, I'll clean it up," Zidane assured her. "Somehow."
Zidane noticed the debris that floated atop of the swamp like small sluggish rafts.
"Hey! That's my mom's old curling iron!" Zidane noticed, it hovering across the oily pool. "That stupid food idiot must have eaten it! Well, at least she's finally gone and done eating things that I don't think are even edible. Better call mom."
Zidane plucked a phone from the lardy water; it was gliding across it like a chocobo feather. He dialed his mom's phone and told her the whole story of their new adventures with the terrible food criminal, and of course of the swampy mess that was left of her.
"Oh my!" Zidane's mom exclaimed. "I'll be sure to call 1-800-WE-CLEAN- UP-CRAP-IN-LESS-THAN-TEN-MINUTES-OR right away! Well, at least you two are safe. That's what's important. Although you do realize that you practically destroyed our house, and not to mention that you are grounded for probably like 24 years."
"Yeah, I know."
Zidane said goodbye to his mom, and hung up.
Meanwhile, Garnet observed a toilet stuck in some disgusting goop. She then turned towards Zidane; upon discovering something that might of concerned him.
"Zidane," she said. "Look at this."
From the fatty waste, she scooped up a long furry-like object.
"Ah! My tail!" Zidane sobbed.
"Well, would you look at that," Garnet said. "Well, at least I don't have to sneak in at night anymore to attempt to cut it off, since it's so unattractive.....I mean.....look! Lemons!"
"Where?!?" Zidane looked up at the ceiling in utter confusion.
"Oh, never mind. Must have been.....I don't know, a manila folder or something."
"Oh. Well, at least it's all over, huh?"
"Yep. Thank goodness. And I didn't even get my clothes all nasty."
A huge bubble arose mysteriously from the goopy surface of the swamp and popped, after growing about ten times its size. It popped directly in Garnet's face and soaked her in the distasteful internal fluids of the unforgettable gourmand.
End.
Chapter 8
At Least It's All Over
Fat and other bodily fluids flooded Zidane's house like a violent deluge. All of the eidolons were expelled from the gourmand's body now; all sent every which way from the catastrophic explosion. Garnet allowed them to return (to wherever the came from; where do they come from anyway?) home. Many eidolons were already sent home due to the strong expulsion of the blast. The gourmand's bursting was like a cataclysmic eruption.
Meanwhile, in faraway Alaska, the expelled chocobo landed headfirst in a thick snow bank. He recovered and shook off the snow happily; he was finally free from the treacherous bowels of Quina.
"Kweh! Kweh!"
Then, without warning, a humongous penguin snuck up behind the chocobo, and with one scoop of the mouth, swallowed the chocobo. It burped and waddled away in indifference.
Back at Zidane's house, the kitchen and the living room were completely drenched in a swampy soup. Garnet tried to climb up high to prevent damage to her clothes and hair.
"Gross!" she exclaimed, fretting.
"Ah! Mom's going to kill me! Don't worry, I'll clean it up," Zidane assured her. "Somehow."
Zidane noticed the debris that floated atop of the swamp like small sluggish rafts.
"Hey! That's my mom's old curling iron!" Zidane noticed, it hovering across the oily pool. "That stupid food idiot must have eaten it! Well, at least she's finally gone and done eating things that I don't think are even edible. Better call mom."
Zidane plucked a phone from the lardy water; it was gliding across it like a chocobo feather. He dialed his mom's phone and told her the whole story of their new adventures with the terrible food criminal, and of course of the swampy mess that was left of her.
"Oh my!" Zidane's mom exclaimed. "I'll be sure to call 1-800-WE-CLEAN- UP-CRAP-IN-LESS-THAN-TEN-MINUTES-OR right away! Well, at least you two are safe. That's what's important. Although you do realize that you practically destroyed our house, and not to mention that you are grounded for probably like 24 years."
"Yeah, I know."
Zidane said goodbye to his mom, and hung up.
Meanwhile, Garnet observed a toilet stuck in some disgusting goop. She then turned towards Zidane; upon discovering something that might of concerned him.
"Zidane," she said. "Look at this."
From the fatty waste, she scooped up a long furry-like object.
"Ah! My tail!" Zidane sobbed.
"Well, would you look at that," Garnet said. "Well, at least I don't have to sneak in at night anymore to attempt to cut it off, since it's so unattractive.....I mean.....look! Lemons!"
"Where?!?" Zidane looked up at the ceiling in utter confusion.
"Oh, never mind. Must have been.....I don't know, a manila folder or something."
"Oh. Well, at least it's all over, huh?"
"Yep. Thank goodness. And I didn't even get my clothes all nasty."
A huge bubble arose mysteriously from the goopy surface of the swamp and popped, after growing about ten times its size. It popped directly in Garnet's face and soaked her in the distasteful internal fluids of the unforgettable gourmand.
End.