Sixteen

I've
Become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you

The plane from Rome to Moscow had only touched down but a mere ten minutes ago and already Mariah was storming around trying to retrieve her baggage in the quickest possible way. Ray was hurt. Badly perhaps. But she knew for sure, deep inside her, that Kai was going to die. Whether it be of a drug overdose, internal bleeding, heavily sustained injuries or whatever. Kai wasn't going to last out the rest of the month. He had already lasted a month too long, thanks to medical science.

Just over a month had passed since the accident at The Abbey. Flights into Russia had been put off for weeks due to terrible stormy conditions and a terrorist threat, no doubt emanating from Hideaki himself. They had gotten on the first plane that had been airborne from Rome, but it had been all too long for Mariah to wait.

Luckily for the airport crew, and they should count themselves lucky considering Mariah's foul mood, the White Tigers luggage was loaded off first, followed closely by the Majestics'. Oliver, Johnny and Robert had swiftly turned themselves away from their business ventures upon hearing of the accident, and had joined Enrique and the White Tigers on the quickest flight out of Rome. They sped through the customs check-in, mainly due to Mariah's iron will and ability to strike fear into those who cross her, and were soon on board a bus headed for Moscow's central hospital. Mariah hadn't been there since Ray's incident with Bryan. She prayed he was going to be OK.

The trip went by in silence, everyone too afraid to speak, in fear of the state of their friends. The journey seemed to drag out like it was taking an eternity, but it only took half an hour. They grabbed their luggage hurriedly from the luggage racks and threw themselves out of the bus doors and onto the sidewalk. In from of them was Moscow's central hospital. Wasting no time at all, Mariah ran in, her luggage trailing behind her.

"Mariah wait!" Li called after her, but in vain. Mariah ran up to one of the nurses on the reception desk, out of breath.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where Ray Kon is?" she asked, her voice sounding pleading and urgent. "My name is Mariah, I'm a good friend of his."

"Oh yes, of course," the nurse smiled pleasantly. "Ray was put onto one of the wards with his other friends. I thought it better to try and keep them all together, so they'll have familiar faces around them, so I put them all on one of our larger wards. Please, follow me." and so Mariah was led along countless corridors and through countless doors, until they came to Ward 13. Oh great. "Just through here." the nurse pointed to one of the open wards, where six occupied beds were set. Mariah dropped her heavy suitcase at the door and, clasping the bunch of flowers she had bought for Ray at the airport, ran into the ward room. Lo and behold, Ray, Kenny, Tala, Spencer, Ian and Bryan were all found to be there, with no sign of Tyson, Max, or Kai for that matter.

"Mariah?!" Ray called out in utter surprise. Kenny was in the bed to his left and Tala was in the bed to his right, Bryan was opposite Ray, Spencer was opposite Tala and Ian was opposite Kenny. "Mariah what are you doing here?!"

"What do you mean what am I doing here?! I saw you all on the news and I came over as soon as the weather permitted!" Mariah cried out, throwing her arms around Ray's neck, and hitting him accidentally with the flowers as she did so.

"Mariah the accident wasn't that bad," Ray sighed, smiling at her and graciously accepting her gift. "Well, not for us it wasn't. Tyson and Max bore the main brunt of the blast, so did Kai. But his body was already wracked with injury."

"I know, I saw," Mariah's voice faded away. "He…he may die you know Ray."

"What?!" Ray hissed, trying not to sound as angry as he felt, but failing. "Kai isn't going to die!! He's gonna be OK Mariah!"

"But Ray he's so badly injured!"

"That's no excuse to give up on him!!"

"Ray I know he's your friend, but he's dying. I know he is. One way or another Kai is going to die, and its going to be sooner rather than later. He's only human. He can only take so much punishment before he gives up."

"Kai won't give up!!…He…he can't give up! I-I-I won't let him!"

"Ray listen to me! Think of what's best for Kai rather than for yourself! He's in pain, he's hurting, both physically and mentally. Don't you think he deserves to be in a better place now?" there was a deadly silence in the room. No one dared to speak. Ray knew Mariah had a point, he just didn't want to accept that this was all Kai had left.

"Mariah has a point Ray," Kenny agreed quietly. "Kai has endured too much now. If it comes down to a choice between ending his suffering or prolonging it, I'd choose to end it."

"I know…but…" Ray began, but he was interrupted by the sudden arrival of the remaining White Tigers and the Majestics.

"How are you Ray?" Li asked smiling. He seemed out of breath, but that was because Mariah was difficult to keep up with once she was motivated.

"I'm fine," Ray replied monotonously. "You should go and find Tyson, Max and Kai. They're off down the hall." downtrodden, Mariah backed away from the obviously upset Ray and followed her team and the Majestics down the hallway until they got to a door marked 'Granger - T + Tate - M'. They knocked gently, then opened the door with care, Robert braving the odds and peering around the door. He walked into the room, and noticed that both Max and Tyson were conscious. He was happy to see that at least.

"How are you both feeling?" Robert asked, smiling down at them. They were both bandaged up quite a bit and had IV tubing in their arms.

"I guess we look as bad as we feel," Max replied with a weak smile on his face. "But…where's Kai…?"

"We don't know yet," Enrique interjected, just as Robert was about to respond. "But we'll find him, don't worry."

"Kai…" Tyson let his sentence trail off as he looked away into emptiness. Kai was a lot worse off than they were, he knew that much.

"Am I disturbing you?" a nurse popped her head around the door.

"No, not at all," Oliver replied.

"I have some news on your friend…er, Kai Hiwatari?" the nurse looked down at her clipboard. Tyson and Max sat up quickly.

"Is he alright?!" Tyson asked.

"Will he be OK?!" Max asked.

"Settle down boys!" the nurse smiled. "Kai came out of emergency surgery a few hours ago, and he's recovering in the room a few doors down. His state is better than it was when he first came in, but his improvement is minimal. His injuries aren't healing very quickly, and his blood is very heavily intoxicated."

"The heroin…" Tyson growled furiously. As he'd expected, Hideaki had kept Kai up-to-date with his heroin intake. Tyson got to his feet, using the metal stand onto which his IV tubing was attached to keep his balance. "I'm going to see Kai. I need to know that he's OK."

"Wait up! I'll come with you!" Max cried, also getting to his feet and taking off after Tyson. Carrying around a large stand with an IV tube and a drip pouch attached was no easy task, and Tyson and Max found this out the hard way. They finally got to a door marked 'Hiwatari - K', but there were several other notes on the door. Tyson took a few minutes to examine them.

"Hmmm…it's just a load of stuff telling us about Kai's status, I think," Tyson checked over the piece of paper attached to the door. It was obviously for the doctors. Tyson chose not to knock and just opened the door quietly. He walked into the room cautiously, and couldn't believe his eyes when he walked in. Kai looked dead. It appeared to Tyson that the only thing keeping Kai alive was the life support machine. Kai was unconscious, and the only noise in the room was the loud blipping from the life support machine. There were needles and tubes all over his body, and he appeared to be hooked up to a respirator as well. He couldn't breathe on his own, and his heart couldn't beat on its own. This was just great.

"Is Kai…dead?" Max asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"I don't think so," Tyson replied, trying to hold back the bitter stinging pain in his eyes. "He's just…having a hard time. That's it."

"Looks like a pretty hard time indeed," Robert added, as the rest of the Majestics seemed stunned into silence, as were the White Tigers, who were still slightly upset from their brief talk with Ray. Tyson looked down at Kai, and noticed a slight anguished expression wash over his once placid face. He had to be having some kind of nightmare.

~~+*+~~

Kai was stood alone on a beach. It was mid afternoon, and the warm sun beat down on him. Not a single zephyr seemed to disturb the warm afternoon, but the delighted cry of a young child broke Kai's daze. He turned and looked up the beach, and saw a young boy, no older than four, making sandcastles with his mother.

'Oh please…please not here…' Kai said, his heart starting to race. He remembered this holiday. It was the last one they had as a family before his mother was killed. His father was nowhere in sight, but he knew he'd be along any moment.

"Look mama! Look I made two!" the young Kai smiled, looking down at his two sandcastles proudly. His mother smiled sweetly at him and handed him a few small shells.

"You can put them on your sandcastles, and they'll look very nice," she said, her smile made him feel safe and happy, even with the father that he had.

'Why…why must I see this again?!!' Kai screamed out to the sky. 'I've suffered enough, you bastards!! Leave me alone!!'

"Aoi!" a loud familiar voice boomed from further up. It was Hideaki. He was making his way over to the pair, and his mother put an arm around the young Kai. She was worried.

"Mama, why is papa so mad?" little Kai asked, looking up at his mother, unable to understand why his father was so mean.

"I don't know, sweetheart," she replied, getting slowly to her feet.

"What are you doing down here?!" Hideaki growled furiously.

"I'm playing with Kai," she replied firmly.

"Aoi, you are not here to play stupid games with that little boy! He has to learn he can only rely on himself, and that his mother won't always be there to pick him up when he falls!"

"Hideaki, he's only four years old! At this age, all children need their mothers!"

"No son of _mine_ shall be weak enough to rely on his mother for comfort!"

"Oh, so he _is_ your son now, is he?!"

"Don't speak to me like that!! You have no right!"

"You treat him like a rat Hideaki! He's your child! Your only son! Just because you got a hard time from Voltaire in your youth doesn't mean you should impart his tactics onto Kai!"

"My father is a great man! He taught me I could only rely on myself, and that friendship and love were a waste of time! He was right!"

"So you don't love me _or_ Kai then?!"

"I could _never_ love that little rat!" a small, hurt cry emanated from the young Kai. He heard what his father had said, and he understood it too. He was hurt by it, as he loved his father very much.

'So stupid…' Kai mumbled, as Hideaki grabbed onto his younger self and began to shake him violently.

"You worthless little brat! How dare you show weakness before me!!" Hideaki yelled furiously.

"Hideaki!! Hideaki get off of him!!" Kai's mother screamed, trying to pull her husband away from her infant son, but to no avail. Hideaki was strong, too strong for her to take on.

'How could I be…so stupid…?' Kai muttered, watching as the painful scene unfolded. 'This was where it all began…I learnt from here, slowly, that emotions only get people hurt. It was love that killed my mother. She loved me, and she died because of it. I should have just given up when he tried to drown me…' Kai looked on as hid father dragged his younger form down the beach to the sea. Kai knew all too well what was about to happen. At that age, Kai couldn't swim very well, and he definitely didn't know that you couldn't breathe underwater. Kai was just an onlooker, as a horrible nightmare from his troubled past came back to haunt him. He watched himself almost drown at the hands of his own father, while his mother fought on and pleaded for her young son's life. Kai would have died if it hadn't have been for the coastguards. Naturally, Hideaki weaved an excellent cover-up story, so that he could never be arrested for attempting to kill his own child.

"Would you like to see another one?" suddenly, the figure of Hideaki turned away from the chaos by the sea and walked up the beach towards Kai.

'Go away! Go away!' Kai yelled back, backing away quickly.

"I'm always going to be here to haunt you Kai, you'll never get rid of me," Hideaki sneered. "Face it Kai, you were born to die, and to die by my hand. You'll either suffer at the hands of the heroin, or these nightmares will drive you to dementia…"

'I…I won't go crazy!! I won't!! No!! No!!' Kai cried out, finding himself to be desperate for a way out. He didn't realise it was all too late. He was going mad. With every passing moment a piece of his sanity was being chipped away, and he was starting to run on low.

~~+*+~~

Kai woke up to find himself alone. By now Tyson and Max had been ushered back to their beds, and the White Tigers and the Majestics had gone to check in to their hotel. His breathing was heavy, and the only sound in the room was the life support machine, continuously blipping in time with Kai's struggling heart beats. A small laugh seemed to escape from Kai's lips, and soon it grew louder, then it seemed to take on a menacing tone.

"It's all over," Kai smiled darkly. "There's nothing left to live for Kai. He's taken your mind, your soul is lost to the darkness, you can't break free from his grasp now. You may as well just surrender what little of you remains and let it end." Kai looked up at the ceiling. "No team can save you now. No friends can pull you up from the darkness in which you're drowning. You've gone insane now Kai…you've lost your mind…" he looked over to a small table that was in the room and noticed a bottle of pills resting there. They were morphine. A nurse had left them in there by mistake, awaiting Kai's recovery. They had planned on dosing him up on that to keep him alive. But little did they know…

"Heroin and morphine are very similar…you know you need them Kai…you know you want them…" and with those words, Kai got to his feet and took up the bottle, ignorant of the many tubes that threatened to stop him. He looked into the bottle and saw about 20 pills in there. "Take them…all of them…end your suffering now…whoever carelessly left these here wanted you to die…I promise I'll go away as soon as you accept your fate…" without hesitation, Kai consumed the entire contents of the bottle, then threw the bottle across the room, allowing it to smash against a wall. He walked over to the smashed shards of glass and took them up in his hand.

"One more game before I go," Kai sneered, clasping the sharp brown shards in his palm, and allowing the blood to run down his arm. That was his release. The rush he received from crushing glass into his palm equalled the rush he had received from the morphine. They all assumed he was doomed to die, that he was making no progress. It was true. The Kai everyone knew and remembered was gone. He was lying deep within himself, slowly dying. This new side of Kai was what he was meant to be, and what he had become. He then threw the shards aside and collapsed back into bed, as the morphine began to take its deadly overdosed effect…

Your mind is dead

It was buried long ago

Your soul is dead

Long decayed in the seas of time

And now I see

All else of you is dying

So I have no hope for you

I go to a funeral

A funeral for a fallen hero

Wait until you see

That its yours

SN: Oh yeah, Kai has lost his mind. It looks like he's been possessed, and technically he has been. By possessed I mean he's been taken over by the shadows of his past, and with his soul lost in darkness, things don't look good for him. The opening paragraph is from Numb by Linkin Park. Oh, and Reiven, I looked at the end of your review. You been watching too much Pirates of the Caribbean? Gawd, I love that movie ^^

Please review for me. Because of input and ideas I get from reviews, this story is going to be a few chapters longer than intended. If you have any help or ideas of how you'd like the story to progress, leave your ideas in your review, and I'll see what I can do. Till next time!