Title: Flying High (Missing Scene)
Author: Pixie and Melissa
Email: jag_pixie@yahoo.com
Rating: PG for language (This is what happens when I let Melissa co-author a scene...)
AN: This scene was planned from the very beginning, written and in beta before part 7 ever posted. We have no excuse for holding it back, beyond the fact that we were curious to see how many people would ask us about the prankster(s) after they read part 7. Turns out, not too many did. For those who asked, and for those who didn't, but still wondered, here's a missing scene that should satisfy your curiosity.
1405 Zulu (0905 Local)
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Conversation around the conference room table was more relaxed then it had been in months. Saturday's party had gone a long way toward improving morale, and even though it was Monday morning, traditionally the grumpiest day of the week, several smiles had already been spotted.
The door opened, and silence flooded into the room as officers began to rise to their feet, expecting the admiral to make his appearance. Instead, Jennifer stepped inside, and they relaxed again.
"Sorry, everybody. Admiral Chegwidden had to take a phone call. He says you're to wait and he'll be in soon."
She disappeared, and the chatter picked up again where it had left off.
"Has anybody heard whether or not Harriet got all those paperclips untangled yet?" asked Sturgis.
"She took them home," Bud answered. "Little A.J.'s having a grand time untangling the mess."
"Speaking of practical jokes, one of those rubber ducks turned up on my desk this morning. Anybody want to claim it?" Harm looked around the room, not entirely surprised when nobody answered him.
Mac grinned and reached into her briefcase. Without a word, she placed a tiny yellow duck in the middle of the polished wooden table. There it sat, a cheerful addition to the formal ambiance of the room, surrounded by uniformed military officers who stared at it in amused silence. Somewhere nearby, a high pitched squeak sounded, and Bud placed a second yellow duck beside the first.
Sturgis and Harm opened their briefcases, and soon four rubber ducks formed an incongruous centerpiece, diminutive tails touching, bright little faces staring back at the adults around them. Harm shook his head and chuckled. "Technically, nobody defied the admiral's orders, but I'd love to know how the little fellows ended up on our desks."
The door opened again, and the officers quickly rose to attention. This time it was the admiral, and he stopped just inside the door, staring at the tiny yellow toys that cheerily defied the concepts of military order and discipline. He shook his head and looked again. They were still there. He sighed.
"I distinctly remember putting an end to this," he said, a tinge of frustration in his voice.
"You did, Sir. These were on our desks this morning," Mac volunteered the information, the corners of her mouth twitching as she fought down a grin.
The admiral reached into his pocket, pulled out a yellow duck, and placed it with the others.
"I know."
With a distracted "At ease," he moved around the table, and took his place at the end, never taking his eyes off the ducks.
"Obviously, there's only one way to put this to rest," he said, after he was settled. "It's time to come clean, people. I want to know who did what to whom, and I want to know now."
Silence.
"We'll take it in order." He looked around at the assembled group. "I believe the first prank was the elevator?"
The quiet was broken by a self-conscious cough.
"Um...that was me, Sir." Sturgis attempted to look contrite, but he wasn't very convincing. "Knowing Harm's penchant for losing track of time in the morning, I thought it would be fun to throw up a roadblock for him." He grinned at Harm, who traded the grin for a mock glare before shaking his head with a smile of his own. "The look on your face, Harm..."
"Wait until I get you out on the basketball court again," Harm said, but Sturgis just grinned more broadly.
The admiral broke in. "And the..." he gestured toward the center of the table. "Tub toys?"
Bud spoke up. "That was Harriet, Sir. She'd gotten them in a gift basket for the baby." He hesitated, and then in typical Bud fashion, rushed on. "They were brand new and clean."
"Lieutenant Sims did that?" The admiral didn't bother to hide his surprise. "I wouldn't have pegged her as a prankster."
Bud's expression was a mix of confusion and pride that was downright comical, and several people chuckled.
"Let's see...the next one was..."
Mac spoke up.
"That would be the confetti in my sun visor, Sir."
"Oh yes. I heard about that. Heard you traipsed through NCIS with bits of it in your hair, too." The admiral looked around. "Anybody want to confess and risk the colonel's wrath?"
"I did that one, Sir." Harm looked a little ashamed of himself, but his eyes twinkled as he looked at his fiancée. "I was sure the elevator prank was Mac's idea. I was just getting even."
"I see. Well, Commander, for your sake, I hope the colonel doesn't hold grudges."
"Me too, Sir."
Harm noticed the thoughtful look in Mac's eyes and decided he'd better be careful over the next few days. She couldn't do anything at JAG, but with the amount of time they were spending together outside of work, he knew she'd find it easy to play a prank of her own. And Mac being Mac, she'd wait a while before doing anything, just to watch him squirm.
"Next were the mouse traps, as I recall," said the admiral, looking around again.
"I'm afraid that was me, Sir," said Mac. "I wasn't sure who to blame for the confetti, so I decided to be an equal opportunity prankster."
"You trapped your own mouse?" asked Harm, amused at how devious she'd been.
"If I hadn't, it would have been obvious who the prankster was, wouldn't it?"
"I don't know. As I recall, you didn't trap the admiral's mouse and nobody thought he was the prankster."
"Only because his office was locked when I did it. Otherwise, I'd have gotten his, too."
"Excuse me," A.J. broke into the conversation. "Let me make sure I've got this right." He turned to Mac. "You would have played a practical joke on me?"
Mac shifted uneasily in her seat, but didn't try to avoid the question. "Yes, Sir. I would."
The admiral just shook his head. "What is the world coming to?" It was a rhetorical, tongue-in-cheek kind of question that didn't require an answer. "O.K., after the great mouse incident, what was next?"
Harm answered. "I believe that was the paperclips, Admiral, and I have it on good authority that that one was courtesy of Petty Officer Coates."
"Good authority?' asked Mac.
"Mattie."
"Ahh...I never could keep a secret from my roommates, either."
The admiral shook his head in amused resignation. "Somehow I knew Petty Officer Coates had figure into this somewhere." He looked around the table. "Next?"
Mac laughed. "I believe that would be the enemy fire incident, Sir."
"Enemy fire?" He looked puzzled for a heartbeat, then he smiled. "Ah, yes. The petty officer's computer. Anybody want to confess to that?"
Bud spoke up. "That was me, Sir."
Unanimous surprise greeted his confession, and he grinned self-consciously.
"I'm impressed, Lieutenant."
The admiral's sincerity amused Harm, and he traded smiles with Mac.
"I believe that brings us to name plates and chairs, does it not?"
A strange light hid in the back of the admiral's eyes when he said that, and Harm tried to puzzle out its meaning while everybody waited for somebody to confess to the last set of pranks.
The silence grew.
Harm looked around, meeting first Mac's eyes, then Bud's, and finally connecting with Sturgis, who shrugged, apparently as bewildered as the rest of them.
The admiral cleared his throat.
Mac's eyes widened as she looked over at him.
"You, Sir?"
"Why is that so surprising?" He cast a curious look at her, and Mac stammered into silence. Harm decided to help her out. Maybe it would lighten his punishment for the confetti.
"We just don't usually think of you as the practical joke type," he said.
The admiral quirked an eyebrow in his direction. "Oh? And what type is that?"
Now Harm was in trouble, and Mac's smile contained both gratitude for his assistance, and amusement that he was suddenly the one floundering.
"You're always the consummate officer and leader, Sir. We simply wouldn't have guessed it about you." Sturgis leaped to Harm's rescue, and it was his turn to come under the admiral's scrutiny.
"So. You don't think I have a devious side, is that it?"
Sturgis, Harm, and Mac all looked at Bud, waiting for him to say something brilliant, but Bud, in a pitiful attempt to look inconspicuous, buried his head in a file, stubbornly refusing to look at his fellow officers. The other three shook their heads and rolled their eyes before turning back to the admiral.
"All right, folks. Let's put the ducks away and get to work."
Within moments, rubber ducks were safely stowed away; notepads and pens poised and ready; and four pairs of eyes focused intently on their commanding officer. A.J. cleared his throat, opened the first case file of the day, and began the meeting.
Later that afternoon, when AJ came back from lunch, the ducks were back. They were lined up in a straight, perfect row on his desk, but they'd been ingeniously personalized. Each wore a uniform made of...wait... Were those coffee filters? A petty officer, two lieutenants, two commanders, and a lieutenant colonel were perched at attention. AJ couldn't decide whether to laugh or bellow for the "ducks" in question to haul ass into his office.
After a moment, he noticed a Post-It stuck to his computer monitor. With a sigh, he pulled it off and slipped his glasses on, recognizing Mac's tidy handwriting.
"Admiral,
There's an old saying about having all your ducks in a row. Your 'ducks' are lining up as we speak. We promise, no more pranks. But we couldn't resist this one, since you so kindly forgot to lock your door today.
Quack!"
The absurdity finally wore him down, and AJ gave in to the laughter. One of these days, the madhouse he presided over would finally drive him insane. But, in their unique fashion, he knew they would make it one hell of a ride.
**** The End (For real this time...Honest!) ****
Rubber Ducky, you're the one,
You make bath time lots of fun,
Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you;
Woo woo be doo
Rubber Ducky, joy of joys,
When I squeeze you, you make noise!
Rubber Ducky, you're my very best friend, it's true!
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo
Every day when I
Make my way to the tubby
I find a little fella who's
Cute and yellow and chubby
Rub-a-dub-a-dubby!
Rubber Ducky, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of you.
Every day when I
Make my way to the tubby
I find a little fella who's
Cute and yellow and chubby
Rubber Ducky, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of -
Rubber ducky, I'd like a whole pond of -
Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you!
Doo doo, be doo
Author: Pixie and Melissa
Email: jag_pixie@yahoo.com
Rating: PG for language (This is what happens when I let Melissa co-author a scene...)
AN: This scene was planned from the very beginning, written and in beta before part 7 ever posted. We have no excuse for holding it back, beyond the fact that we were curious to see how many people would ask us about the prankster(s) after they read part 7. Turns out, not too many did. For those who asked, and for those who didn't, but still wondered, here's a missing scene that should satisfy your curiosity.
1405 Zulu (0905 Local)
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Conversation around the conference room table was more relaxed then it had been in months. Saturday's party had gone a long way toward improving morale, and even though it was Monday morning, traditionally the grumpiest day of the week, several smiles had already been spotted.
The door opened, and silence flooded into the room as officers began to rise to their feet, expecting the admiral to make his appearance. Instead, Jennifer stepped inside, and they relaxed again.
"Sorry, everybody. Admiral Chegwidden had to take a phone call. He says you're to wait and he'll be in soon."
She disappeared, and the chatter picked up again where it had left off.
"Has anybody heard whether or not Harriet got all those paperclips untangled yet?" asked Sturgis.
"She took them home," Bud answered. "Little A.J.'s having a grand time untangling the mess."
"Speaking of practical jokes, one of those rubber ducks turned up on my desk this morning. Anybody want to claim it?" Harm looked around the room, not entirely surprised when nobody answered him.
Mac grinned and reached into her briefcase. Without a word, she placed a tiny yellow duck in the middle of the polished wooden table. There it sat, a cheerful addition to the formal ambiance of the room, surrounded by uniformed military officers who stared at it in amused silence. Somewhere nearby, a high pitched squeak sounded, and Bud placed a second yellow duck beside the first.
Sturgis and Harm opened their briefcases, and soon four rubber ducks formed an incongruous centerpiece, diminutive tails touching, bright little faces staring back at the adults around them. Harm shook his head and chuckled. "Technically, nobody defied the admiral's orders, but I'd love to know how the little fellows ended up on our desks."
The door opened again, and the officers quickly rose to attention. This time it was the admiral, and he stopped just inside the door, staring at the tiny yellow toys that cheerily defied the concepts of military order and discipline. He shook his head and looked again. They were still there. He sighed.
"I distinctly remember putting an end to this," he said, a tinge of frustration in his voice.
"You did, Sir. These were on our desks this morning," Mac volunteered the information, the corners of her mouth twitching as she fought down a grin.
The admiral reached into his pocket, pulled out a yellow duck, and placed it with the others.
"I know."
With a distracted "At ease," he moved around the table, and took his place at the end, never taking his eyes off the ducks.
"Obviously, there's only one way to put this to rest," he said, after he was settled. "It's time to come clean, people. I want to know who did what to whom, and I want to know now."
Silence.
"We'll take it in order." He looked around at the assembled group. "I believe the first prank was the elevator?"
The quiet was broken by a self-conscious cough.
"Um...that was me, Sir." Sturgis attempted to look contrite, but he wasn't very convincing. "Knowing Harm's penchant for losing track of time in the morning, I thought it would be fun to throw up a roadblock for him." He grinned at Harm, who traded the grin for a mock glare before shaking his head with a smile of his own. "The look on your face, Harm..."
"Wait until I get you out on the basketball court again," Harm said, but Sturgis just grinned more broadly.
The admiral broke in. "And the..." he gestured toward the center of the table. "Tub toys?"
Bud spoke up. "That was Harriet, Sir. She'd gotten them in a gift basket for the baby." He hesitated, and then in typical Bud fashion, rushed on. "They were brand new and clean."
"Lieutenant Sims did that?" The admiral didn't bother to hide his surprise. "I wouldn't have pegged her as a prankster."
Bud's expression was a mix of confusion and pride that was downright comical, and several people chuckled.
"Let's see...the next one was..."
Mac spoke up.
"That would be the confetti in my sun visor, Sir."
"Oh yes. I heard about that. Heard you traipsed through NCIS with bits of it in your hair, too." The admiral looked around. "Anybody want to confess and risk the colonel's wrath?"
"I did that one, Sir." Harm looked a little ashamed of himself, but his eyes twinkled as he looked at his fiancée. "I was sure the elevator prank was Mac's idea. I was just getting even."
"I see. Well, Commander, for your sake, I hope the colonel doesn't hold grudges."
"Me too, Sir."
Harm noticed the thoughtful look in Mac's eyes and decided he'd better be careful over the next few days. She couldn't do anything at JAG, but with the amount of time they were spending together outside of work, he knew she'd find it easy to play a prank of her own. And Mac being Mac, she'd wait a while before doing anything, just to watch him squirm.
"Next were the mouse traps, as I recall," said the admiral, looking around again.
"I'm afraid that was me, Sir," said Mac. "I wasn't sure who to blame for the confetti, so I decided to be an equal opportunity prankster."
"You trapped your own mouse?" asked Harm, amused at how devious she'd been.
"If I hadn't, it would have been obvious who the prankster was, wouldn't it?"
"I don't know. As I recall, you didn't trap the admiral's mouse and nobody thought he was the prankster."
"Only because his office was locked when I did it. Otherwise, I'd have gotten his, too."
"Excuse me," A.J. broke into the conversation. "Let me make sure I've got this right." He turned to Mac. "You would have played a practical joke on me?"
Mac shifted uneasily in her seat, but didn't try to avoid the question. "Yes, Sir. I would."
The admiral just shook his head. "What is the world coming to?" It was a rhetorical, tongue-in-cheek kind of question that didn't require an answer. "O.K., after the great mouse incident, what was next?"
Harm answered. "I believe that was the paperclips, Admiral, and I have it on good authority that that one was courtesy of Petty Officer Coates."
"Good authority?' asked Mac.
"Mattie."
"Ahh...I never could keep a secret from my roommates, either."
The admiral shook his head in amused resignation. "Somehow I knew Petty Officer Coates had figure into this somewhere." He looked around the table. "Next?"
Mac laughed. "I believe that would be the enemy fire incident, Sir."
"Enemy fire?" He looked puzzled for a heartbeat, then he smiled. "Ah, yes. The petty officer's computer. Anybody want to confess to that?"
Bud spoke up. "That was me, Sir."
Unanimous surprise greeted his confession, and he grinned self-consciously.
"I'm impressed, Lieutenant."
The admiral's sincerity amused Harm, and he traded smiles with Mac.
"I believe that brings us to name plates and chairs, does it not?"
A strange light hid in the back of the admiral's eyes when he said that, and Harm tried to puzzle out its meaning while everybody waited for somebody to confess to the last set of pranks.
The silence grew.
Harm looked around, meeting first Mac's eyes, then Bud's, and finally connecting with Sturgis, who shrugged, apparently as bewildered as the rest of them.
The admiral cleared his throat.
Mac's eyes widened as she looked over at him.
"You, Sir?"
"Why is that so surprising?" He cast a curious look at her, and Mac stammered into silence. Harm decided to help her out. Maybe it would lighten his punishment for the confetti.
"We just don't usually think of you as the practical joke type," he said.
The admiral quirked an eyebrow in his direction. "Oh? And what type is that?"
Now Harm was in trouble, and Mac's smile contained both gratitude for his assistance, and amusement that he was suddenly the one floundering.
"You're always the consummate officer and leader, Sir. We simply wouldn't have guessed it about you." Sturgis leaped to Harm's rescue, and it was his turn to come under the admiral's scrutiny.
"So. You don't think I have a devious side, is that it?"
Sturgis, Harm, and Mac all looked at Bud, waiting for him to say something brilliant, but Bud, in a pitiful attempt to look inconspicuous, buried his head in a file, stubbornly refusing to look at his fellow officers. The other three shook their heads and rolled their eyes before turning back to the admiral.
"All right, folks. Let's put the ducks away and get to work."
Within moments, rubber ducks were safely stowed away; notepads and pens poised and ready; and four pairs of eyes focused intently on their commanding officer. A.J. cleared his throat, opened the first case file of the day, and began the meeting.
Later that afternoon, when AJ came back from lunch, the ducks were back. They were lined up in a straight, perfect row on his desk, but they'd been ingeniously personalized. Each wore a uniform made of...wait... Were those coffee filters? A petty officer, two lieutenants, two commanders, and a lieutenant colonel were perched at attention. AJ couldn't decide whether to laugh or bellow for the "ducks" in question to haul ass into his office.
After a moment, he noticed a Post-It stuck to his computer monitor. With a sigh, he pulled it off and slipped his glasses on, recognizing Mac's tidy handwriting.
"Admiral,
There's an old saying about having all your ducks in a row. Your 'ducks' are lining up as we speak. We promise, no more pranks. But we couldn't resist this one, since you so kindly forgot to lock your door today.
Quack!"
The absurdity finally wore him down, and AJ gave in to the laughter. One of these days, the madhouse he presided over would finally drive him insane. But, in their unique fashion, he knew they would make it one hell of a ride.
**** The End (For real this time...Honest!) ****
Rubber Ducky, you're the one,
You make bath time lots of fun,
Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you;
Woo woo be doo
Rubber Ducky, joy of joys,
When I squeeze you, you make noise!
Rubber Ducky, you're my very best friend, it's true!
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo
Every day when I
Make my way to the tubby
I find a little fella who's
Cute and yellow and chubby
Rub-a-dub-a-dubby!
Rubber Ducky, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of you.
Every day when I
Make my way to the tubby
I find a little fella who's
Cute and yellow and chubby
Rubber Ducky, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of -
Rubber ducky, I'd like a whole pond of -
Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you!
Doo doo, be doo