Chapter 5

Home is where your best friend is

This chapter is a Christmas pressie for everyone who was nice to me and reviewed. I asked for 20 reviews on the last chapter and got at least 25! You guys are so great and this chapter is especially for DD2 tried to review 20 times, only FF.net wouldn't let her. Also of course I hafta say thanks to Bekki just for being there to run my ideas by and to check details etc.

Enjoy everyone

Wednesday, 1115

Harm's apartment

Mac sat on the wide kitchen counter, her kneed drawn halfway up to her chest, waiting for the pot of coffee to finish. She looked around her and sighed with contentment. She had spent so much of her time in Harm's apartment before moving to LA, that coming back to here was actually somewhat comforting because of it's familiarity and the fact that she felt that she could lean on Harm for stability while she tried to sort everything out. She looked around and saw that hardly anything had changed since she had been here last. There were a few more photos on the walls and more trinkets on shelves all over the place, but the place held a familiar air about it that made her feel that she had truly come home. She could see Ali sitting on the floor playing quietly in Harm's bedroom. She sighed again, this time not out of contentment. Her life was a mess. She turned her attention from the inside of the apartment to the window on her left and what lay beyond. She started out through the glass and into the drizzly grey cityscape below. As she and Harm were leaving AJ's daycare they had noticed the ominous black storm clouds gathering above them and within 15 minutes it had been bucketing down. The rain had since stopped, however the drizzle had continued on and off for the last hour. She watched the narrow street below her and the people who wandered past, their black umbrellas fitting in perfectly with the dull colour scheme that had been crated by the lousy weather. She found herself wondering about each person who passed below and what they did, wondering if their lives were as messed up as hers seemed to be. So lost in her musings, she jumped when she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Sorry Mac, I didn't mean to startle you."

She shook her head. "It's alright. I was just thinking random thoughts about my life and how weird it has become over the last less than 18 hours. But we're not here to speculate on the strange turn my life has taken. How about some coffee?"

Harm held up a mug. "It finished about 10 minutes ago, but you didn't notice it. I was going to leave you to your thoughts but I figured that you might prefer your coffee while it was still hot, especially since I made it stronger than I've made it in about three years." He grinned at her and handed her the mug, which she took and sipped appreciatively.

"Mmmm, thanks Harm."

The two of them remained in comfortable silence for another few minutes while they sipped their coffee, Mac perched on the counter and Harm standing next to her. It was Harm who spoke up first.

"What are we going to do? About you, I mean. And Ali and Rob and everything else, like where you're going to live. I mean, I'd love to have you stay here, but..."

"But what?"

"Well lets just say that it wouldn't go down too well and I think that a motel would be better."

Mac looked mildly hurt. "Look, if you don't want me to stay then all you have to do is say so."

"It's nothing like that. Don't get me wrong, I mean, I love having you around here and I'd like nothing better than for you to stay here while you're sorting everything out, but if you stay with me then people are bound to take it the wrong way and you know what kinds of nasty rumours can be kicked up by something like you're staying here."

Mac started at Harm. "The wrong way? What do you mean the wrong way?"

"Well I mean that they could take it..."

"No, I know how they could take it. What I mean is how could they take it the wrong way. I mean, I'm not even divorced yet. I left my abusive husband and came back to my old home so that I could escape him and get help from my friends, namely you, seeing as you're my best friend."

"And that is exactly my point. Just look at it form an outsider's perspective. You left your abusive husband and came back to DC where you best friend, who just happens to be male, is waiting and willing to help you through it. You spend all your time with him and people automatically assume that you're having an affair with him because you can't be with your husband so he's the next best thing, or something like that. You know, with the husband out of the picture, then old feelings can rekindle, or whatever."

Neither of them paid any attention to his last comment, however neither of them were aware of how close to the truth it came, for Harm at least. He was finally starting to get used to the idea of not being able to see Mac and it had been three years. Now that he was able to see her again, he was remembering why he had fallen in love with her in the first place and was starting to fall in love with her all over again. As for Mac, she wasn't exactly thinking about her relationship with Harm, being somewhat preoccupied with everything else that was going on. He was there for her and that was all that she cared about. She'd think about relationships later, after her divorce was over.

Mac stared at him aghast. "You think that's how people see me!? As someone who as soon as it doesn't work out she immediately gives up and moves on to the next person. You really think that I'd do something like that?" Harm read anger and hurt in her voice and expression and realised that she thought that what he was saying was what he felt, or at least believed that everyone else would take that attitude.

"Oh, no Mac that's not what I'm saying at all. What I mean is that it's one of the ways that people could view you're living with me. I certainly don't think of it like that and I know that anyone who knows you won't either, but remember that a lot of the people who worked in the office when you were there have gone now and most of the ones how are there now don't know you. If they learned that you were staying with me then you know that they'd automatically assume something was going on. If your best friend was a girl and you went to stay with her, then no one would think twice about it. Unfortunately society seems to make assumptions that if you're close to another member of the opposite sex then that automatically makes you involved. It's stupid, but we can't help the way that people think. I promise you it's nothing to do with you and you should know me well enough by now to know that I'd never turn you away when you needed help."

Mac dejectedly. "Deep down I know that, Harm, but you try telling that to my brain. I'm having serious insecurity issues, abandonment ones too. I mean, for all I know you could just stop caring all of a sudden just like Rob did and then you could turn on me or worse, just leave me to deal with everything on my own." By this point tears were welling in Mac's eyes and she turned her head to stare back out the window again so that Harm wouldn't see them. "I know that you wouldn't do that, but something inside me makes me terrified that I'm going to lose you too, just like I lost Rob and then but for Ali I'd be totally alone. And Ali, what if something happens to her? What if Rob tries to take custody rights? What if..." she trailed off until her voice was barely audible. "What if he tried to hurt her, to get back at me?"

"Mac look at me." Harm told her. Mac did not respond but continued to look outside at the grey concrete pathway below her. "Mac please, look at me." He asked again, reaching up and turning her tear-stained face gently towards him. It hurt him to see her in tears and he realised just how much all of this must be wearing on her.

"Listen to me, Sarah. I'm not going to let anything happen to you, okay? I'm going to keep both you and Ali safe no matter what. If you really want to stay here with me then that's fine with me, I have no objections. I was just worried about how it would look, but if you're fine with it then so am I. You're my best friend and I'm going to do everything to make this as easy for you as I can. You got that?"

Mac sniffled and nodded and Harm pulled her to him, wrapping his arms protectively around her, rubbing his hand soothingly over her back. He picked her up and carried her over to the sofa, where he sat down with her in his lap and preceded to rock her as you would a little child. Her breathing became more regular as she calmed down and her tight grip on him gradually loosened. It wasn't until about 10 minutes later when he stopped rocking her that he realised that she had fallen asleep. He got up gently and laid her down on the couch, taking a moment to admire her sleeping form. Unable to tear his eyes away from her, he sat back down on the couch, this time behind her head, and was contented to watch her sleep. On impulse, he leaned down and placed a delicate kiss on her forehead.

"I still love you, you know." He whispered to his sleeping once-again-partner. He lay back against the back of the sofa and was about to close his eyes when he noticed a movement from the doorway. He beckoned to Ali and the little toddler toddled over to him and held out her arms, indicating that she wanted to be lifted up. He lifted Ali into his lap and marvelled over the fact that she looked less tired than her mother.

Of course, she wasn't up all night with less then two hours of sleep before insisting that she head off to JAG headquarters with me.

"Unca Harm." Ali whispered, taking in the silence around her. For a two year old she was incredible intelligent.

Well what do you expect with a mother like hers?

"What is it Ali?"

"I'm hungry." she stated. Harm had to make an effort to keep from laughing out loud.

Not only is she as smart as her mother but she has also inherited her mother's insatiable appetite. He smiled to himself. He was really starting to like Ali a lot.

"Okay then, Macken - ... er, Casey. Lets get you fed. How would you like some ice cream?"

Ali's eyes lit up and she nodded enthusiastically. Harm knew that he shouldn't really be giving her ice cream at such an early hour, but he just couldn't help spoiling her.

"Okay then. What say we get you some ice cream and a bowl for mummy when she wakes up, huh?" The two year old nodded solemnly in agreement and Harm picked her up off his lap and carried her into the kitchen.

Wednesday, 2234

Harm's apartment

Mac lay on the sofa in her pyjamas thinking about all that had happened over the last 24 hours. It had been 24 hours ago, 26 if you counted the time difference, that Rob had arrived home and everything had started. No, it started long before that, but last night just went too far, and once he had gone that far I knew that if I was to stay then he'd do the same thing again. Better to leave sooner rather than later and save myself and Ali a lot of pain. She started up at the ceiling, deep in thought. She had, against better judgement, decided to stay at Harm's, at least for tonight. She knew that continuing to stay with him was probably not the best idea, but she didn't feel that she could have faced a night alone in a hotel with just her and Ali. Hotels always made her feel cut off from the rest of the population. Despite there being people either side of her, she always felt so alone when staying in hotels. By staying with Harm, she was not only able to eliminate the feeling of loneliness but she felt comforted by his presence. As long as he was with her, she wasn't nearly as afraid of something happening to her or Ali. He's kind of like my security blanket, in a way. I take him with me whenever I can and he makes me feel safer She snickered at the thought of him as her security blanked and wondered what he would say to such a thing.

Mac got up to check on Ali, who was sleeping peacefully in Harm's bed. Her mind at ease, she returned to the sofa where she had been lying. She flopped back down onto her back, exhausted after such a long day. The day had been spent discussing things with Harm, the main thing being the divorce. She knew that some people might think that filing for a divorce over just one significant incident as foolish, or rushed or something done in the heat of the moment, but the truth of it was; she no longer loved Rob. She tried to, but it just didn't work. He wasn't the same man whom she had married. He was no longer the sweet charming man who made her feel special. He was now just a drunk who had no love his daughter and little more for his wife. Mac knew that she couldn't organise the whole divorce without at least consulting Rob a few times, but she had been reluctant to call him and Harm had suggested that she wait until the weekend and call him when she were more relaxed. So although she had started organising various details of the divorce, nothing had been finalised and there was still a lot of stuff to go.

She looked up and smiled when Harm walked back into the room.

"Hey Marine, you shouldn't be up this late. You should be in bed catching up on lost sleep."

Mac shrugged. "I was about to go to bed. You going to turn in anytime soon?"

"Yeah, I think that I'll just grab a shower first then do what you should be doing and sleep."

"Sounds good. Well, I'm off to bed now. I'll see you tomorrow morning." Harm gave Mac a hug then headed off to have a shower.

Wednesday, 1945, LA time

Casey residence

Robert Casey had arrived home from work to find that neither Sarah nor Ali were there. Not that he had expected them to be. He knew that Sarah had gone somewhere but it didn't take a genius to work out where. After checking the local hotels he had driven to the airport in hopes of finding her car parked there. He of course had not found it, given the enormity of the carparks. He had gone in and up to the inquiries desk in hopes of finding out where she had gone to. He was pretty sure that if she was going to fly anywhere then it would be to DC, however he wanted confirmation.

"Oh hey, Rob. What are you doing here."

"Hi Mike. I'm looking for some info. My wife came through here last night and I'm pretty sure that she bough a ticket and flew out to DC. I want to find out which flight she took. Is that possible?"

"You know I'm not allowed to give out that sort of information, Rob. It's confidential and I could get into a lot of trouble for telling you."

"Oh come one Mike. Please? I have to know."

"All right then, but I can't promise you anything. Hang on a second. No I'm sorry but we don't have any Casey's in the last 48 hours."

"But she has to have been through here. I just know it."

"Well I'm sorry but there's really nothing I can do. I mean, unless she's using a different name then she didn't come through here. Are you sure that flew out, Rob."

"Yes I am. Hang on. Try Mackenzie. M - A - C - K - E - N - Z - I - E. Mackenzie."

"Mackenzie?"

"Yeah, it's her maiden name."

"Looks like she still has a account under her maiden name. We have a Sarah Mackenzie in the system from last night. She bought two tickets. One adult and one child."

"Thanks Mike."

"No probs. So tell me, Rob, what's this all about..."

Rob stared at the phone. He wanted to call Sarah, but he wasn't sure how to reach her. Her mobile had been turned off all day and he had no other way of reaching her. Unless...

Rob went into the kitchen and shuffled through a stack of papers until he found the desired document. It was the telephone bill, which listed all the numbers that had been called in the last month. On number appeared every week without fail. It was the number that had started their fight last night. Taking the sheet of paper over to where the phone was, Robert Casey picked up the phone and, without a though as to time differences even registering in his brain, dialled the interstate number.

Wednesday, 2247, DC time

Harm's apartment

Mac was just getting off the couch and was heading towards the spare room when the phone rang. Who on earth rings at this time of night? I don't know anyone who would even consider ringing Harm so late... a smile formed on Mac's face except for me. I could always call at anytime and he would be happy to talk to me. Mac debated for a moment whether or not to pick up the phone. Harm was still in the shower and wasn't going to be able to answer it, and if she let it keep ringing then it was likely to wake Ali. Left with no other option she picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

Mwahahaha, aren't I evil, ending it like that? I wasn't going to give you guys another chapter before Christmas but as I said, I got the review I asked for so I'm keeping my end of the deal. All of you who reviewed can have some Christmas pudding and for those of you who review this chapter, I will bake you some muffins =)

This chapter was almost not going to get posted, as this afternoon I hadn't even started it. But now it's done and any mistakes you find I am blaming on the fact that it now just after 1:00am and tis Christmas eve eve, meaning that there are only 2 days left until Christmas. YAY!!!

Thanks heaps to Chris who pointed out to me that 1) Harm doesn't have a spare room and 2) his room does not have a door. It has been corrected.

Merry Christmas to you all and God bless you