"Where's Batman?" Diana said.
"Haven't seen him," said Flash, who was barely visible behind his morning stack of pancakes. "Don't know, don't want to know, don't care."
"Any idea?"
"He might've gone with Big Blue. Though I don't think Supes was in any mood to slow down enough for him."
"Superman in a mood? Why?"
"Well, you were there the other night," said the Flash. "Luthor's robot got away. Big Blue's taking that pretty personally." He shrugged. "I guess when you have telescopic vision, super-hearing, and X-ray eyes you're not used to something the size of a building being able to hide from you." He shoveled a forkful the size of Diana's fist into his mouth. "Why're you looking for Grim and Gruesome, anyway?" he said around it.
"He was scheduled to be up here today," said Diana. "He's on the duty roster. I wanted to ask him about our lessons."
Flash blinked. "Lessons?" he said. "Who's teaching who what?"
"He's teaching me. Escape artistry. So I can get out of handcuffs and things on my own, if need be."
Flash stopped chewing. He froze for a moment, then swallowed with a mighty effort.
"Wait," said Flash. "Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. He's taking you off to his Batcave on a regular basis."
"Yes," said Diana.
"Where he ties you up, restrains you, chains you, binds you, and otherwise engages in forms of bondage."
"Yes."
"From which you then attempt to escape."
"Yes."
"Meaning you're writhing around, tied up, on the floor, while he watches."
"Yes," said Diana. It was, after all, an accurate assessment of the previous evening.
Flash was silent for a few moments.
"I hate him and everything he stands for," he said.
+++
Batman wasn't in the Batcave, either.
Diana materialized on the JLA transporter platform to absolutely no reception. She looked around. As far as she could see, the cave was empty. Where on earth was Batman?
She stepped carefully off the platform and began to move toward the gymnasium. "Hello?" she called. "Hello?" Her voice bounced off the walls. The only answer was her own echo. Then she heard a faint noise. It sounded like a flapping cape. "Batman?" she said.
Something flickered in Diana's peripheral vision, above her and to the right. It took her a moment to realize that it was a person. Then she turned her head, and saw it was a boy. A black-masked boy clad in red, green and yellow.
"Wonder Woman, I presume?" he said, in a remarkably good impression of a British accent.
Then he vaulted the railing in front of him, dropped fifteen feet, absorbed the shock of landing with a perfect forward roll, and came up standing in front of her.
Diana blinked twice before her eyes caught the R emblazoned over his heart. One mystery solved. "And you must be Robin."
"One boy wonder, at your service!" he replied. He couldn't have been more than sixteen, she thought. Younger even than Flash. And Flash was *young.* "Sorry, Batman had some stuff to do. So you're stuck with me."
Diana hesitated. "Don't take this the wrong way," she said, "but I'm not sure you count as a man."
"Hey, I'm fifteen!" he said with only-partially-mock indignation. "How old were your ancient Greek guys when they went off to war? Or fought their monsters? Or had their great love affairs?"
"You've got me there," she said, smiling. He did have a point, especially about the great love affairs. Though she didn't think either he or Batman would appreciate those parallels.
"All right, then," he said. "Batman briefed me on this thing of yours -- curse of Zeus, right? C'mon. We'll see if it works."
It did. He seemed slightly uncomfortable tying Diana to a chair, and he blushed when he had to lay rope around her legs, or her waist, or -- he stammered an apology -- her bare shoulders, just above her bosom.
"You could have just tied my hands," she pointed out.
"Yeah," he said, jerking on a knot to make sure it was tight. "But where's the fun in that?" He grinned again, and the sweetness of his smile made her realize he was referring to the fun of the escape, not of tying her up. "Besides, this one's easy. The chair actually gives you more slack to work with than you think."
"Did you learn this way?" she said.
"...actually, no. He had me hanging upside down, wrapped in rope, with my hands cuffed behind my back. But he's a little hard-core."
Diana's face must have betrayed her. Robin spoke up quickly. "He really is a great guy," he said seriously. "Really. I couldn't imagine my life without him."
Diana couldn't imagine a life lived wholly with the Dark Knight. Especially with him as some kind of father figure. Of course, she'd never known a father herself. "After all he puts you through," she said, "you still love him?"
"I didn't say I want to grow up and be just like him," Robin said. He mock-shuddered at the thought. "But love him? Yeah, I can do that. Not that we ever say it, because we're guys and we're terribly manly, but off the record? I love him to death. Hey, somebody's gotta. The man's never going to love himself." He shook his head sadly, then gestured at Diana's bonds. "Well?" he said.
Diana tested the bonds, the legs of the chair. Nothing. She smiled at him. "You're a man, all right."
"Told you!" he said triumphantly. "Now, if you can just convince Batgirl on that..."
"Sorry," Diana said. "You're on your own there."
"Worth a shot. Okay, come on. Let's get going. We'll start with your arms..."
Robin couldn't have been any more different a teacher than Batman. He chattered constantly, offering advice, acting as a cheering section, or just talking about some of the adventures he and Batman had been on. It turned out he and Flash were friends; Robin had hung out with Flash when Flash was Kid Flash. Which wasn't all that long ago.
He was right about the chair being easy. She was out of it fairly quickly. Having her wrists and ankles tied behind her back was harder. It took a long time and a lot of sweat, but finally she managed to get one hand loose. And then she was free and clear. Diana was enjoying herself now. Robin was careful to challenge her just enough to make the lessons clear. She worked through more ties than she had with Batman to achieve the same relative progress, but the experience was much less frustrating. And when Robin broke out some horribly painful and uncomfortable ties -- her wrists and ankes tied behind her back, with a rope to her neck so any movement put pressure on her throat -- she had enough confidence in her ability to escape quickly and with grace.
"Great!" said Robin as she cast the last of the ropes aside. He was grinning broadly as she sat up, and she didn't think it was just from watching her writhe. "You've got a real talent for this."
"Good teaching," said Diana. She turned her head from side to side and stretched, relishing her freedom.
"Well," said Robin. "Do you want to do a couple more? We could take a short break -- "
The sound of a powerful motor suddenly rose from one of the cave's larger tunnels.
"Er," said Robin. "Maybe not."
The Boss, evidently, was back. Diana scooped up the small towel Robin had provided and wiped the sweat from her face. She draped the towel over her shoulder and headed for the great turntable that marked the Batmobile's parking space. Batman was just climbing out of the cockpit as she arrived.
"I thought you and I had an appointment," she said.
"I had things to do," said Batman.
"Oh," Diana said. "Is that your way of saying you were avoiding me?"
Silence fell, heavy and thick.
"Well," said Robin quietly. "*I'll* just be going now." He turned to Diana. "Nice to meet you, finally."
"And you," she said. She watched him as he ran toward the staircase that went up into a tunnel in the rock. He did three handsprings along the way, for no reason she could see. She wondered where that tunnel staircase went.
"He's a fine young man," she said.
"He's not my eromenos," said Batman.
An instant's surprise, at his knowing the Greek term. "I didn't think he was," said Diana.
"No?"
"If he were," she said, "I doubt I'd make you nervous."
"You don't make me nervous, Princess," he said.
"No?" she said, deliberately baiting him.
"No," he said. "*I* make me nervous."
That was as much about the way he thought -- or felt -- about himself that Diana had ever heard him say. She searched for some reply, and couldn't find one. She turned the subject back to Robin, instead. "He's a good teacher," she said. "You should be proud. I think he was easier on me than you were on him."
"He told you about hanging upside down with the cuffs," he said. It wasn't a question.
"Are you planning to do that to me?" she said.
His mouth quirked. "You don't know how to pick handcuffs." He reached into his utility belt and pulled out a pair. "Yet."
Diana caught the cuffs as he tossed them. Oddly, considering she could lift small automobiles, they were heavy in her hand. She placed a finger along the thin half-moon of one bracelet and pushed. It clicked into place, and she could feel the ratchet inside moving as she tightened it. The keyhole seemed very small. She wasn't sure how well this endeavor was going to work.
She looked up at Batman, to ask him how to proceed, and saw that he hadn't taken a step toward her. At her look, he hesitated, then glanced toward the stairs.
"Are you going to call Robin back?" she said. "To teach me this, too?"
There was a long pause. She dangled the cuffs from one finger and locked her gaze directly on him. He was slow to meet her eyes.
"No," he said very softly. But he didn't move.
"Are you going to teach me from all the way over there?"
"No."
He still didn't move, and his voice was more human than she'd ever heard it. His... shyness? was bizarrely endearing. Diana had to fight to hide her smile. She kept her tone as light as possible, and put a gentle tease into her voice.
"Are you going to come over here?" she said.
He visibly swallowed at that. And then he took in a deep breath, and something happened in his face.
"No," Batman said. His voice was quiet, but firm. The voice of a man used to being obeyed. "*You're* going to come over *here.*"
It took Diana three steps, and her knees felt weaker with every one.
Batman took the cuffs from her gently. Without looking away from her eyes, he slapped them on her wrists. A chill ran through her at the touch of the metal. Or maybe that was his hand.
"This is how it works," Batman said. He held up a small piece of stiff wire in one gloved hand. He pressed the pick into one keyhole, then the next. The cuffs were off so fast she hadn't even seen what he'd done.
"Do that again," she said. "But slowly."
She held her breath as the cuffs went on. One. Then the other. A pause, before he raised the pick again. "This way," he said. "Insert the pick. Feel for the tumbler. It feels like a small lever inside the lock. Get a good grip on it with the pick, find your angle... and flip it." There was a small click, and Diana's hand was free. "You try the other one," he said.
What had taken Batman a fraction of a second took Diana three infuriating minutes. She poked and prodded and swept and scoured the inside of the lock without finding the tumbler. Once she found it, she couldn't get it to move. Once she got it to move, she couldn't get it to move all the way. Until, finally, there was a soft click and the cuff slid open.
"Ugh," said Diana.
"You'll get better," Batman said. "But it takes time."
He seemed calmer now that they were dealing with a problem at hand. It seemed like a good moment for Diana to ask him something that had been nagging at her.
"That tie," she said. "The spread-eagle, last time. There wasn't any way out of that, was there?"
He met her gaze with something like approval. "Under those conditions, at your level... no."
"Then what was the point?"
"A demonstration. If you're unconscious, you lose control of the situation. When you wake up, you may be in a situation in which none of your preparation can do you any good. If you're not in control..." he paused. There was more feeling in his voice than Diana had heard -- well, ever. "If you're not in control, anything can happen." He turned his gaze to her eyes. "I'd hate to lose you, Princess."
Diana smiled. "You know," she said, "that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
One of these days, Diana thought, she would solve the mystery of how Batman could arch an eyebrow and make the effect come across with his entire forehead covered. So much for the moment of intimacy. "All right," she said. "So I'll practice. And try not to get knocked out."
She pressed the handcuffs closed again and fumbled in the lock with the bit of wire. Then a thought occurred to her. "What if I drop the pick?"
"Then you're screwed," Batman said. "Breaking handcuff chains takes a lot of sheer strength; I can do it, but you won't be able to without your powers. Your only option is slipping the cuffs over your hands. Not always possible. And extremely painful."
"Any tips for making it easier?"
"Blood," he said. "You can be hurt when you're bound, but once you're free, you heal almost immediately. Cut yourself, use your blood as a lubricant. That could be enough to get one hand free." He paused, struck by a thought. "You could break your hand, too, I suppose. Crush the bones. To narrow it."
"There are times," said Diana, "when you scare me."
His smile was thin and dark, and did not show his teeth. "Good," he said.
+++
"It wasn't Luthor," Superman said.
Diana had a mouthful of stuffed grape leaves and faced an awkward decision of whether politeness was worth a risk of choking. Politeness lost. "Excwush muh?"
"I found him. It took a bit of doing. We talked."
Superman's uniform was covered in unidentifiable bits of muck. Diana didn't want to know where Luthor had been hiding. Or what "a bit of doing" meant to a man who could leap tall buildings in a single bound.
"And?" she said, having swallowed.
"Somebody stole his robot."
Flash, who had just inhaled half a glass of milk, did a spit-take. He coughed vigorously, wiping his nose.
Batman reacted even more stiffly than usual. "Somebody *stole.* Luthor's *robot?*"
"Careful, Batguy," said Flash, still coughing. "You nearly cracked an expression there."
Batman ignored him. "What's his next excuse? His dog ate it?"
"He's serious," said Superman. "Luthor disavowed any knowledge of his robot's activities. It seems one of his hideouts was raided, and the only item stolen -- "
"Was the robot," said Flash. "Ooh, I'd love to see the police report for that. 'Item: Robot, eight stories tall, nigh-indestructible, suitable for mayhem and destruction. Send usual alert to pawn shops.'"
"You believed him?" said Diana.
"We rounded up a bunch of petty crooks at our last fight with the robot. They're not talking, but none of them had any ties to Luthor's organization that the police have found. Besides, Luthor's a predictable liar. If he's accused of something he's actually done, he'll deny it, calmly. He was still swearing when I left. Luthor's taken the theft as a personal insult. He wants a piece of whoever it is."
Batman's face was grim. "Not if we get him first."
And then the League alarms went off.
"Haven't seen him," said Flash, who was barely visible behind his morning stack of pancakes. "Don't know, don't want to know, don't care."
"Any idea?"
"He might've gone with Big Blue. Though I don't think Supes was in any mood to slow down enough for him."
"Superman in a mood? Why?"
"Well, you were there the other night," said the Flash. "Luthor's robot got away. Big Blue's taking that pretty personally." He shrugged. "I guess when you have telescopic vision, super-hearing, and X-ray eyes you're not used to something the size of a building being able to hide from you." He shoveled a forkful the size of Diana's fist into his mouth. "Why're you looking for Grim and Gruesome, anyway?" he said around it.
"He was scheduled to be up here today," said Diana. "He's on the duty roster. I wanted to ask him about our lessons."
Flash blinked. "Lessons?" he said. "Who's teaching who what?"
"He's teaching me. Escape artistry. So I can get out of handcuffs and things on my own, if need be."
Flash stopped chewing. He froze for a moment, then swallowed with a mighty effort.
"Wait," said Flash. "Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this straight. He's taking you off to his Batcave on a regular basis."
"Yes," said Diana.
"Where he ties you up, restrains you, chains you, binds you, and otherwise engages in forms of bondage."
"Yes."
"From which you then attempt to escape."
"Yes."
"Meaning you're writhing around, tied up, on the floor, while he watches."
"Yes," said Diana. It was, after all, an accurate assessment of the previous evening.
Flash was silent for a few moments.
"I hate him and everything he stands for," he said.
+++
Batman wasn't in the Batcave, either.
Diana materialized on the JLA transporter platform to absolutely no reception. She looked around. As far as she could see, the cave was empty. Where on earth was Batman?
She stepped carefully off the platform and began to move toward the gymnasium. "Hello?" she called. "Hello?" Her voice bounced off the walls. The only answer was her own echo. Then she heard a faint noise. It sounded like a flapping cape. "Batman?" she said.
Something flickered in Diana's peripheral vision, above her and to the right. It took her a moment to realize that it was a person. Then she turned her head, and saw it was a boy. A black-masked boy clad in red, green and yellow.
"Wonder Woman, I presume?" he said, in a remarkably good impression of a British accent.
Then he vaulted the railing in front of him, dropped fifteen feet, absorbed the shock of landing with a perfect forward roll, and came up standing in front of her.
Diana blinked twice before her eyes caught the R emblazoned over his heart. One mystery solved. "And you must be Robin."
"One boy wonder, at your service!" he replied. He couldn't have been more than sixteen, she thought. Younger even than Flash. And Flash was *young.* "Sorry, Batman had some stuff to do. So you're stuck with me."
Diana hesitated. "Don't take this the wrong way," she said, "but I'm not sure you count as a man."
"Hey, I'm fifteen!" he said with only-partially-mock indignation. "How old were your ancient Greek guys when they went off to war? Or fought their monsters? Or had their great love affairs?"
"You've got me there," she said, smiling. He did have a point, especially about the great love affairs. Though she didn't think either he or Batman would appreciate those parallels.
"All right, then," he said. "Batman briefed me on this thing of yours -- curse of Zeus, right? C'mon. We'll see if it works."
It did. He seemed slightly uncomfortable tying Diana to a chair, and he blushed when he had to lay rope around her legs, or her waist, or -- he stammered an apology -- her bare shoulders, just above her bosom.
"You could have just tied my hands," she pointed out.
"Yeah," he said, jerking on a knot to make sure it was tight. "But where's the fun in that?" He grinned again, and the sweetness of his smile made her realize he was referring to the fun of the escape, not of tying her up. "Besides, this one's easy. The chair actually gives you more slack to work with than you think."
"Did you learn this way?" she said.
"...actually, no. He had me hanging upside down, wrapped in rope, with my hands cuffed behind my back. But he's a little hard-core."
Diana's face must have betrayed her. Robin spoke up quickly. "He really is a great guy," he said seriously. "Really. I couldn't imagine my life without him."
Diana couldn't imagine a life lived wholly with the Dark Knight. Especially with him as some kind of father figure. Of course, she'd never known a father herself. "After all he puts you through," she said, "you still love him?"
"I didn't say I want to grow up and be just like him," Robin said. He mock-shuddered at the thought. "But love him? Yeah, I can do that. Not that we ever say it, because we're guys and we're terribly manly, but off the record? I love him to death. Hey, somebody's gotta. The man's never going to love himself." He shook his head sadly, then gestured at Diana's bonds. "Well?" he said.
Diana tested the bonds, the legs of the chair. Nothing. She smiled at him. "You're a man, all right."
"Told you!" he said triumphantly. "Now, if you can just convince Batgirl on that..."
"Sorry," Diana said. "You're on your own there."
"Worth a shot. Okay, come on. Let's get going. We'll start with your arms..."
Robin couldn't have been any more different a teacher than Batman. He chattered constantly, offering advice, acting as a cheering section, or just talking about some of the adventures he and Batman had been on. It turned out he and Flash were friends; Robin had hung out with Flash when Flash was Kid Flash. Which wasn't all that long ago.
He was right about the chair being easy. She was out of it fairly quickly. Having her wrists and ankles tied behind her back was harder. It took a long time and a lot of sweat, but finally she managed to get one hand loose. And then she was free and clear. Diana was enjoying herself now. Robin was careful to challenge her just enough to make the lessons clear. She worked through more ties than she had with Batman to achieve the same relative progress, but the experience was much less frustrating. And when Robin broke out some horribly painful and uncomfortable ties -- her wrists and ankes tied behind her back, with a rope to her neck so any movement put pressure on her throat -- she had enough confidence in her ability to escape quickly and with grace.
"Great!" said Robin as she cast the last of the ropes aside. He was grinning broadly as she sat up, and she didn't think it was just from watching her writhe. "You've got a real talent for this."
"Good teaching," said Diana. She turned her head from side to side and stretched, relishing her freedom.
"Well," said Robin. "Do you want to do a couple more? We could take a short break -- "
The sound of a powerful motor suddenly rose from one of the cave's larger tunnels.
"Er," said Robin. "Maybe not."
The Boss, evidently, was back. Diana scooped up the small towel Robin had provided and wiped the sweat from her face. She draped the towel over her shoulder and headed for the great turntable that marked the Batmobile's parking space. Batman was just climbing out of the cockpit as she arrived.
"I thought you and I had an appointment," she said.
"I had things to do," said Batman.
"Oh," Diana said. "Is that your way of saying you were avoiding me?"
Silence fell, heavy and thick.
"Well," said Robin quietly. "*I'll* just be going now." He turned to Diana. "Nice to meet you, finally."
"And you," she said. She watched him as he ran toward the staircase that went up into a tunnel in the rock. He did three handsprings along the way, for no reason she could see. She wondered where that tunnel staircase went.
"He's a fine young man," she said.
"He's not my eromenos," said Batman.
An instant's surprise, at his knowing the Greek term. "I didn't think he was," said Diana.
"No?"
"If he were," she said, "I doubt I'd make you nervous."
"You don't make me nervous, Princess," he said.
"No?" she said, deliberately baiting him.
"No," he said. "*I* make me nervous."
That was as much about the way he thought -- or felt -- about himself that Diana had ever heard him say. She searched for some reply, and couldn't find one. She turned the subject back to Robin, instead. "He's a good teacher," she said. "You should be proud. I think he was easier on me than you were on him."
"He told you about hanging upside down with the cuffs," he said. It wasn't a question.
"Are you planning to do that to me?" she said.
His mouth quirked. "You don't know how to pick handcuffs." He reached into his utility belt and pulled out a pair. "Yet."
Diana caught the cuffs as he tossed them. Oddly, considering she could lift small automobiles, they were heavy in her hand. She placed a finger along the thin half-moon of one bracelet and pushed. It clicked into place, and she could feel the ratchet inside moving as she tightened it. The keyhole seemed very small. She wasn't sure how well this endeavor was going to work.
She looked up at Batman, to ask him how to proceed, and saw that he hadn't taken a step toward her. At her look, he hesitated, then glanced toward the stairs.
"Are you going to call Robin back?" she said. "To teach me this, too?"
There was a long pause. She dangled the cuffs from one finger and locked her gaze directly on him. He was slow to meet her eyes.
"No," he said very softly. But he didn't move.
"Are you going to teach me from all the way over there?"
"No."
He still didn't move, and his voice was more human than she'd ever heard it. His... shyness? was bizarrely endearing. Diana had to fight to hide her smile. She kept her tone as light as possible, and put a gentle tease into her voice.
"Are you going to come over here?" she said.
He visibly swallowed at that. And then he took in a deep breath, and something happened in his face.
"No," Batman said. His voice was quiet, but firm. The voice of a man used to being obeyed. "*You're* going to come over *here.*"
It took Diana three steps, and her knees felt weaker with every one.
Batman took the cuffs from her gently. Without looking away from her eyes, he slapped them on her wrists. A chill ran through her at the touch of the metal. Or maybe that was his hand.
"This is how it works," Batman said. He held up a small piece of stiff wire in one gloved hand. He pressed the pick into one keyhole, then the next. The cuffs were off so fast she hadn't even seen what he'd done.
"Do that again," she said. "But slowly."
She held her breath as the cuffs went on. One. Then the other. A pause, before he raised the pick again. "This way," he said. "Insert the pick. Feel for the tumbler. It feels like a small lever inside the lock. Get a good grip on it with the pick, find your angle... and flip it." There was a small click, and Diana's hand was free. "You try the other one," he said.
What had taken Batman a fraction of a second took Diana three infuriating minutes. She poked and prodded and swept and scoured the inside of the lock without finding the tumbler. Once she found it, she couldn't get it to move. Once she got it to move, she couldn't get it to move all the way. Until, finally, there was a soft click and the cuff slid open.
"Ugh," said Diana.
"You'll get better," Batman said. "But it takes time."
He seemed calmer now that they were dealing with a problem at hand. It seemed like a good moment for Diana to ask him something that had been nagging at her.
"That tie," she said. "The spread-eagle, last time. There wasn't any way out of that, was there?"
He met her gaze with something like approval. "Under those conditions, at your level... no."
"Then what was the point?"
"A demonstration. If you're unconscious, you lose control of the situation. When you wake up, you may be in a situation in which none of your preparation can do you any good. If you're not in control..." he paused. There was more feeling in his voice than Diana had heard -- well, ever. "If you're not in control, anything can happen." He turned his gaze to her eyes. "I'd hate to lose you, Princess."
Diana smiled. "You know," she said, "that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
One of these days, Diana thought, she would solve the mystery of how Batman could arch an eyebrow and make the effect come across with his entire forehead covered. So much for the moment of intimacy. "All right," she said. "So I'll practice. And try not to get knocked out."
She pressed the handcuffs closed again and fumbled in the lock with the bit of wire. Then a thought occurred to her. "What if I drop the pick?"
"Then you're screwed," Batman said. "Breaking handcuff chains takes a lot of sheer strength; I can do it, but you won't be able to without your powers. Your only option is slipping the cuffs over your hands. Not always possible. And extremely painful."
"Any tips for making it easier?"
"Blood," he said. "You can be hurt when you're bound, but once you're free, you heal almost immediately. Cut yourself, use your blood as a lubricant. That could be enough to get one hand free." He paused, struck by a thought. "You could break your hand, too, I suppose. Crush the bones. To narrow it."
"There are times," said Diana, "when you scare me."
His smile was thin and dark, and did not show his teeth. "Good," he said.
+++
"It wasn't Luthor," Superman said.
Diana had a mouthful of stuffed grape leaves and faced an awkward decision of whether politeness was worth a risk of choking. Politeness lost. "Excwush muh?"
"I found him. It took a bit of doing. We talked."
Superman's uniform was covered in unidentifiable bits of muck. Diana didn't want to know where Luthor had been hiding. Or what "a bit of doing" meant to a man who could leap tall buildings in a single bound.
"And?" she said, having swallowed.
"Somebody stole his robot."
Flash, who had just inhaled half a glass of milk, did a spit-take. He coughed vigorously, wiping his nose.
Batman reacted even more stiffly than usual. "Somebody *stole.* Luthor's *robot?*"
"Careful, Batguy," said Flash, still coughing. "You nearly cracked an expression there."
Batman ignored him. "What's his next excuse? His dog ate it?"
"He's serious," said Superman. "Luthor disavowed any knowledge of his robot's activities. It seems one of his hideouts was raided, and the only item stolen -- "
"Was the robot," said Flash. "Ooh, I'd love to see the police report for that. 'Item: Robot, eight stories tall, nigh-indestructible, suitable for mayhem and destruction. Send usual alert to pawn shops.'"
"You believed him?" said Diana.
"We rounded up a bunch of petty crooks at our last fight with the robot. They're not talking, but none of them had any ties to Luthor's organization that the police have found. Besides, Luthor's a predictable liar. If he's accused of something he's actually done, he'll deny it, calmly. He was still swearing when I left. Luthor's taken the theft as a personal insult. He wants a piece of whoever it is."
Batman's face was grim. "Not if we get him first."
And then the League alarms went off.