THIS STORY IS APPROVED BY THE COMICS CODE AUTHORITY-
YEAH RIGHT!
Dear Readers, In our world, we know the JLA as heroes, fighting crime and saving humanity. However, you are about to hear the exploits of a different JLA. These super-humans come not from our Earth, but from a different Earth. An Earth in which American explorers discovered Europe. Where Colonial England won her freedom from the United States in the Revolutionary War. A world where actor Abe Lincoln shot and murdered president John Wilkes Booth.
You see, this is a world unlike any you have ever seen. Welcome, friends, to Earth-Sigma. The world turned upside down. So, without further ado, let's jump into the exciting adventures of the CSE, the Crime Syndicate of England!
- - - - -
Johnny Quick was tired. Very tired. Which was expected, considering that he was the fastest man alive. Thank goodness, he mused, for the Sigma particles floating in his bloodstream. Without them, he would be another average citizen of the United Kingdom of Britain.
He walked up to the giant refrigerator in the middle of the room and grabbed a large stack of lunch meats and bread. He stared longingly at the pile of food in front of him, but was interrupted by a shout.
"Johnny Quick!" The voice rang through the halls. "How many times have I told you to leave my tofu slices alone!?"
Johnny sighed. "Look, Dana. It was an accident. I'm putting them back."
A whip shot across the corner of the hallway. It connected with Johnny and left him lying on the ground, tears dripping from his eyes. "I said... I said I was sorry."
A tall, muscular woman slowly turned the corner. She was Dana. Superwoman, as her teammates called her. She looked disdainfully at Johnny. "Don't let it happen again. Am I clear?"
Johnny grunted as he got up from the kitchen floor. "Crystal clear, princess."
Dana grabbed her whip again and lashed Johnny across the back. "Don't call me that. You know that I hate it when people call me that."
Johnny grinned as he felt the whip against his back. "You hate everything. Well, except Ultraman. You just loooove Ultraman."
Dana continued lashing Johnny with her whip. She cackled maniacally as she hit the long strip of leather against his back.
"You know," Johnny said. "If this were any other girl, I might enjoy being whipped."
Dana glared at him. "SHUT UP!"
Johnny knew what was coming next. "Not the stiletto. Not the stiletto. Not the- HOLY CRAP!"
He was silenced by the pain of Superwoman's heel slamming into his back. "Well, thanks. Sweetheart."
Superwoman glared at him again. "You just don't know when to quit, do you?"
Johnny Quick, the fastest man alive, was also the fastest man unconscious.
Dear Readers, In our world, we know the JLA as heroes, fighting crime and saving humanity. However, you are about to hear the exploits of a different JLA. These super-humans come not from our Earth, but from a different Earth. An Earth in which American explorers discovered Europe. Where Colonial England won her freedom from the United States in the Revolutionary War. A world where actor Abe Lincoln shot and murdered president John Wilkes Booth.
You see, this is a world unlike any you have ever seen. Welcome, friends, to Earth-Sigma. The world turned upside down. So, without further ado, let's jump into the exciting adventures of the CSE, the Crime Syndicate of England!
- - - - -
Johnny Quick was tired. Very tired. Which was expected, considering that he was the fastest man alive. Thank goodness, he mused, for the Sigma particles floating in his bloodstream. Without them, he would be another average citizen of the United Kingdom of Britain.
He walked up to the giant refrigerator in the middle of the room and grabbed a large stack of lunch meats and bread. He stared longingly at the pile of food in front of him, but was interrupted by a shout.
"Johnny Quick!" The voice rang through the halls. "How many times have I told you to leave my tofu slices alone!?"
Johnny sighed. "Look, Dana. It was an accident. I'm putting them back."
A whip shot across the corner of the hallway. It connected with Johnny and left him lying on the ground, tears dripping from his eyes. "I said... I said I was sorry."
A tall, muscular woman slowly turned the corner. She was Dana. Superwoman, as her teammates called her. She looked disdainfully at Johnny. "Don't let it happen again. Am I clear?"
Johnny grunted as he got up from the kitchen floor. "Crystal clear, princess."
Dana grabbed her whip again and lashed Johnny across the back. "Don't call me that. You know that I hate it when people call me that."
Johnny grinned as he felt the whip against his back. "You hate everything. Well, except Ultraman. You just loooove Ultraman."
Dana continued lashing Johnny with her whip. She cackled maniacally as she hit the long strip of leather against his back.
"You know," Johnny said. "If this were any other girl, I might enjoy being whipped."
Dana glared at him. "SHUT UP!"
Johnny knew what was coming next. "Not the stiletto. Not the stiletto. Not the- HOLY CRAP!"
He was silenced by the pain of Superwoman's heel slamming into his back. "Well, thanks. Sweetheart."
Superwoman glared at him again. "You just don't know when to quit, do you?"
Johnny Quick, the fastest man alive, was also the fastest man unconscious.