Chapter 6 - It's good for two things...
Neo sits bolt upright in the chair, disorientated.
Neo: Where am I?
Morpheus: You know where you are.
Neo: Oh, right. Hiya Clarice, great party, sorry I forgot your present.
Morpheus: You have the intelligence of a three-year-old. No, Neo, in fact you are in the Nebuchadnezzar. I cannot believe you have forgotten all I taught you.
Neo: What did you teach me? Was there any homework? AAARGH! I haven't done it!
Louse: Dear GOD.
Neo: Why am I bleeding?
Morpheus: The Matrix may not be real, but your mind makes it real. Don't worry, it's only a scratch.
Neo: I have a SEVERED ARM.
Trinity: I can fix that. I got my first aid badge as a girl guide.
Morpheus: After Trinity has reattached your arm, I think you should get some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow. If it is day. Nobody really knows.
Neo: Please stop.
- 8 HOURS LATER -
Trinity pushes open the door to Neo's room, none too quietly. He wakes with a start, but Trinity doesn't notice.
Trinity: (whispering) Neo, I brought you some breakfast... I love you. With a passion.
Neo: Er, I'm awake.
Trinity: Bugger it.
She leaves, and Neo gets up, treading on the croissant as he does so. He walks into the main deck. Siphon is watching the coded screens with apparent interest.
Neo: What's on?
Siphon: Slurp. Shit, Neo, you scared the Bee Gees out of me. Anyway, yeah, I'm watching Deep Impact. I have a thing for Elijah Wood.
Neo: How can you read it? The code, I mean.
Siphon: Well, *slurp* you get used to it after a while. But, like, you get bored of no TV, so I bought cable TV. I missed the TV I got in New Orleans.
Neo: You come from New Orleans?
Siphon: No.
Neo: Very well. Hey, you want a drink?
Siphon: *hiss-slurp* that's...my...line!
Neo: Well SAY IT!
Siphon: Hey, you...uh... want a drink?
Neo: Sure.
Siphon: Poser brews it. It's good for two things - tea parties and ice lollies.
Neo: Groovy. (Takes a sip) Mmmm. Tastes like... an infusion of strawberry and rosehip. Maybe a tinge of cranberry there, but it is difficult to tell.
Siphon: Really? I thought I could taste blackcurrant. Shows you how different we all are. So, then, whaddya think?
Neo: Of what?
Siphon: *Rolls eyes* The Matrix.
Neo: It's... different.
Siphon: Well, I guess it's a little hard for you. When we were unplugged we had successful jobs in a canning factory. You... you didn't have a life. I suppose you miss being a fat-arsed slacker.
Neo: Like hell I do.
Siphon: You do, though.
Neo: I do.
Siphon: Welcome. Welcome to the real world.
- A FANCY-LOOKING RESTAURANT -
Siphon and Hobbit Smith are dining at a table.
Hobbit Smith: Choose what you want. My treat.
Siphon: Oh, Smith, I couldn't *possibly* make you pay for all this! It's so... expensive!
Hobbit Smith: No, seriously, I insist. Please.
Siphon: Well, if you say so. I'll have the braised leg of lamb and a glass of Chardonnay.
Waiter: An excellent choice.
Siphon: I know it is. I made it.
Smith: I shall have the... cheese toastie. And, I think, the house wine.
Waiter: Right away, sir. Thankyou, sir.
Half an hour later, their food arrives.
Smith: So, Mr. Schwarzenegger, what were you saying?
He takes a bite of his toastie, savouring the mouthwatering goodness.
Siphon: After all these years unplugged from the Matrix, I have realised something.
Smith: What is that?
Siphon: I cannot live without MTV.
Smith: So, do we have a deal?
Siphon: Just reinsert my body into the Matrix. I want to be a world leader, mind. And a good one. Give me lots of muscles. Can you do that?
Smith: Sure can, Mr. Schwarzenegger.
Siphon: Okey-cokey. You do that, and I will get you what you want.
Smith: Access codes to the safe holding the biggest collection of DivaStarz in the real world.
Siphon: I told you, I don't have them. But I can get you the man who does.
Smith: Commander Lock?
Siphon: Buzzz. Guess again.
Smith: Counsellor Haman?
Siphon: For crying out LOUD. Morpheus.
Smith: Morpheus.
Neo sits bolt upright in the chair, disorientated.
Neo: Where am I?
Morpheus: You know where you are.
Neo: Oh, right. Hiya Clarice, great party, sorry I forgot your present.
Morpheus: You have the intelligence of a three-year-old. No, Neo, in fact you are in the Nebuchadnezzar. I cannot believe you have forgotten all I taught you.
Neo: What did you teach me? Was there any homework? AAARGH! I haven't done it!
Louse: Dear GOD.
Neo: Why am I bleeding?
Morpheus: The Matrix may not be real, but your mind makes it real. Don't worry, it's only a scratch.
Neo: I have a SEVERED ARM.
Trinity: I can fix that. I got my first aid badge as a girl guide.
Morpheus: After Trinity has reattached your arm, I think you should get some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow. If it is day. Nobody really knows.
Neo: Please stop.
- 8 HOURS LATER -
Trinity pushes open the door to Neo's room, none too quietly. He wakes with a start, but Trinity doesn't notice.
Trinity: (whispering) Neo, I brought you some breakfast... I love you. With a passion.
Neo: Er, I'm awake.
Trinity: Bugger it.
She leaves, and Neo gets up, treading on the croissant as he does so. He walks into the main deck. Siphon is watching the coded screens with apparent interest.
Neo: What's on?
Siphon: Slurp. Shit, Neo, you scared the Bee Gees out of me. Anyway, yeah, I'm watching Deep Impact. I have a thing for Elijah Wood.
Neo: How can you read it? The code, I mean.
Siphon: Well, *slurp* you get used to it after a while. But, like, you get bored of no TV, so I bought cable TV. I missed the TV I got in New Orleans.
Neo: You come from New Orleans?
Siphon: No.
Neo: Very well. Hey, you want a drink?
Siphon: *hiss-slurp* that's...my...line!
Neo: Well SAY IT!
Siphon: Hey, you...uh... want a drink?
Neo: Sure.
Siphon: Poser brews it. It's good for two things - tea parties and ice lollies.
Neo: Groovy. (Takes a sip) Mmmm. Tastes like... an infusion of strawberry and rosehip. Maybe a tinge of cranberry there, but it is difficult to tell.
Siphon: Really? I thought I could taste blackcurrant. Shows you how different we all are. So, then, whaddya think?
Neo: Of what?
Siphon: *Rolls eyes* The Matrix.
Neo: It's... different.
Siphon: Well, I guess it's a little hard for you. When we were unplugged we had successful jobs in a canning factory. You... you didn't have a life. I suppose you miss being a fat-arsed slacker.
Neo: Like hell I do.
Siphon: You do, though.
Neo: I do.
Siphon: Welcome. Welcome to the real world.
- A FANCY-LOOKING RESTAURANT -
Siphon and Hobbit Smith are dining at a table.
Hobbit Smith: Choose what you want. My treat.
Siphon: Oh, Smith, I couldn't *possibly* make you pay for all this! It's so... expensive!
Hobbit Smith: No, seriously, I insist. Please.
Siphon: Well, if you say so. I'll have the braised leg of lamb and a glass of Chardonnay.
Waiter: An excellent choice.
Siphon: I know it is. I made it.
Smith: I shall have the... cheese toastie. And, I think, the house wine.
Waiter: Right away, sir. Thankyou, sir.
Half an hour later, their food arrives.
Smith: So, Mr. Schwarzenegger, what were you saying?
He takes a bite of his toastie, savouring the mouthwatering goodness.
Siphon: After all these years unplugged from the Matrix, I have realised something.
Smith: What is that?
Siphon: I cannot live without MTV.
Smith: So, do we have a deal?
Siphon: Just reinsert my body into the Matrix. I want to be a world leader, mind. And a good one. Give me lots of muscles. Can you do that?
Smith: Sure can, Mr. Schwarzenegger.
Siphon: Okey-cokey. You do that, and I will get you what you want.
Smith: Access codes to the safe holding the biggest collection of DivaStarz in the real world.
Siphon: I told you, I don't have them. But I can get you the man who does.
Smith: Commander Lock?
Siphon: Buzzz. Guess again.
Smith: Counsellor Haman?
Siphon: For crying out LOUD. Morpheus.
Smith: Morpheus.