Corinthos Household, Sunday Morning-
Sonny hadn't slept a wink since they returned home from the police station. He had tried several times to rest his head and make an attempt to block out everything that was going on, but he couldn't do it. Every time he closed his eyes he saw his son's eyes looking at him. Damian never said anything, but Sonny could read those eyes, his mother's eyes. He'd seen that look, somewhat, before, the only time he ever managed to get a good look at Ana-Maria, before he was forced upon her. She had that look in her eyes when she realized what her father was into, what he had kept from her. It was the look of hopelessness. Damian was trying to show himself to be someone that hadn't yet given up, but his eyes showed Sonny differently. Sonny couldn't, wouldn't, let that look continue. He would find a way to help his son, he couldn't just let Damian linger in that cell. If anyone deserved to find themselves behind bars, it was Sonny. But he couldn't turn himself in. It was more than the claustrophobia that he had acquired after being stuffed in the closet as a boy. Sonny could live with himself and his phobia if he knew that he had done something to help his son. If it were only that simple. Damian was an adult, he could get along without Sonny being a part of his life, although they would both feel the pain from it. The problem was with Carly, Michael, and Morgan. Sonny could not leave them. Morgan wouldn't remember him. Sonny would be just a name and a face in a picture to his infant son. Sonny wouldn't let that happen. He wouldn't step out of their lives like that. He'd done it, however unwillingly, with his oldest son, and that had caused a rift between the two that had only begun the long process of healing.
Sonny had so much that he wanted to tell Damian the night before, while they were alone in that room. He didn't even let Damian know how much he cared. He'd never told his son that he loved him. Even though they were older, that didn't change the fact that it was there. It was a long process, but Sonny had quickly grown fond of his boy. It was like seeing the opposite side of his own coin. Damian wasn't ruthless, he was kindhearted, but he was also very quick-witted. A lot of his traits came from his mother, Sonny could see Ana in Damian every time, but he could also see himself. It gave him a different feeling from that which he had for Michael. Sonny was proud of Michael, but he would never deny that Michael was not his blood. Michael was as much of his son as Damian, but the lack of blood relation was something that could have never been changed. Everything that Sonny looked forward to seeing in Morgan when Morgan was old enough he was now seeing in Damian. The drive to do something to make an impact, Damian got it from him, even if he didn't know it at the time. So much could have been different if Sonny would have went another path, if Sonny wouldn't have made the mistake of falling into the life that he had taken. It was too late to complain about it, but that didn't stop him from wondering. He would always wonder.
Sonny walked down the stairs into the living room. Without even thinking about it he poked through the door to Damian's room and saw the bed, empty. Sonny had done that a few times after Damian had left the first time. Even then, after barely living there for a scant few weeks, he had made an impact on Sonny's life that could never be taken away. Sonny walked in and looked around. He saw the books that were stacked neatly on the desk. Sonny smiled. It was about time that his money had been used for something that could benefit honest people. Sonny's money had brought so much pain and suffering to those around him, even his family at times. Because of his life he had to take so many precautions. He had to make sure that the house was bulletproof. He had to have guards around at all times. Everything was to make sure that his kids were safe, that his wife was safe. But, while there was no doubt in his mind that they were safe while they were inside his home, there was doubt as to how much living they were actually allowed to do. Michael didn't really have very many friends. He never saw much of other children his age outside of school, karate, and hockey. He tried to make it seem like it didn't bother him at all, and maybe it didn't at that time, but Michael was growing up fast. There would be a time when he would rebel, when he would want to go out and do things his own way. That would put Michael in more danger, make him an even bigger target for violence if he was running around Port Charles unprotected. Sonny's enemies would love the chance to take Michael and use him against Sonny. Sonny dreaded the possibility of boarding school, but it might have been the only way to keep Michael safe. It could wait, for now, but it couldn't wait forever. One day, Sonny would have to explain to Michael, and even later to Morgan, what his life really was like. Damian was right, they needed to know. Sonny couldn't keep them in the dark forever. It wasn't right to them. If they loved him like he loved them, Michael and Morgan would still care, even when they found out that their father wasn't the best person that he could have been, like Michael assumed at that time.
One son who knew Sonny's truth, two that were still clouded by the lie for their own safety. Sonny always had to walk the fine line on the thinnest ice. It was the story of his life. One wrong move on his part and it could all be over. Not even necessarily for him, it could end the life of someone else if he wasn't always at the top of his game. He wasn't at the top of his game when Faith almost killed Damian, much like he wasn't on the top of his game when Asp came back, and when Damian got arrested. All of those things happened because Sonny was fooling himself into thinking that he was truly back to the way that he had been. He should have listened to Jason instead of letting his ego get in the way. Jason... Jason took a bullet that was meant for him. Yet another negative side effect of his folly. Jason had taken a bullet for him, Carly had gotten a bullet in her head because of him, he'd been gunned down and nearly died more than once because of who he was. So much violence. So much death. Was it really worth it all?
"Daddy?"
Sonny snapped out of his thoughts, the emotions of his mind almost bringing him to tears. He tried to hide them as he saw Michael standing in the doorway. "What are you doing up so early on a Sunday?"
Michael gave a slight shrug of his shoulders, "I just couldn't get back to bed."
"Did you have a bad dream or something?" Sonny wondered. He knew what it was like to be plagued by nightmares, even as an adult, they still haunted him.
"Why are you in Damian's room? Is he sick?"
Sonny had two options that he could take, given the conversation. He could make up some story about Damian leaving early, or he could tell Michael the truth and explain that his brother was in jail. "He's not at home right now, buddy."
"Did he go out with Maxie?" Michael asked as he sat next to his father. "I know how much he likes her, and she likes him, too. It's like you and mommy or Uncle Jason and Aunt Courtney. Do you think they'll get married?"
Sonny smiled, thankful that his son could grant him a momentary reprieve from everything that was going on in his life. He could picture them getting married. They could make him a grandfather. He'd like that. The thought was tainted by the severity of the situation, though. Damian couldn't do anything if he never got out. Sonny's doubt clouded over him once more, and he tried his best to break the doubt from his mind. "I can't answer that question, Mike. I know that whatever happens, I want Damian to find someone that he loves so that he can be happy with her, like me and your mother. I want you and Morgan to find someone like that as well."
"I'll never fall in love," Michael protested. "Girl's are icky!"
"You don't think that your mommy or Courtney are pretty?"
"Well, yeah, but they're not girls!"
"What are they?"
Michael stopped himself. He wasn't entirely sure. He finally found an answer, "They're mommy and Aunt Courtney!"
Sonny laughed briefly. That childlike innocence was something that Sonny wanted Michael to keep forever. But he knew that it would eventually have to become a thing of the past. He couldn't keep it jarred up forever. He couldn't keep lying to Michael. He promised Damian that he'd tell Michael the truth. Sonny had to keep that promise.
"Daddy? Are you okay?"
Sonny shook his head, "No, Mike, I'm not."
Michael disliked it when his daddy showed that he was hurt. It was usually something bad. He was like that a lot when Carly was in the hospital. Michael didn't see much of Sonny during that time, he was gone and Sonny was almost always in the hospital standing vigil next to Carly. The few times that Michael did see Sonny, though, even the times that he had just talked to him on the phone, he could sense that something wasn't right with Sonny. It wasn't the daddy that he usually saw. Michael could see that as he looked at his father during those moments that they sat on the couch. "What's wrong?"
"You need to be strong, because I'm not going to tell you something you're going to be nice. Can you do that for me?"
"I think so," Michael replied, fear heavy in his voice.
"Damian was taken away last night. He's in jail right now." Sonny spoke softly and watched his son. He wanted to see exactly how Michael reacted.
Michael, not very surprisingly, started to cry. It wasn't that he wasn't strong, but he was scared now. He knew what jail was, he knew that it was the place that bad people went. He also knew that Damian wasn't one of those bad people. He should have never went to jail. "W... why?"
Sonny picked Michael up and put him on his lap, "Because people are trying to hurt us by making him look like he's a bad person, Michael. Some people are trying to see that he gets thrown into prison for something that he didn't do. We have to be strong for him, because if we're strong and we stand up and say that he didn't do anything, then he'll be strong too."
"The bad man did this, didn't he?" Michael immediately thought of Ric. "He tried to hurt you by kidnapping mommy and trying to steal Morgan, but now he's trying to hurt you through Damian. I hate him!"
"It's not him, Mike," Sonny said softly. As much as he thought it could have been Ric, a bigger part of him was almost certain that it wasn't. Sonny went with that instinct, since it was stronger. He still didn't trust his brother, he just didn't think that Ric had anything to do with it at all. "I don't know who is doing it yet, but I'm going to find out, and I'm going to stop them from hurting any of us."
"That's what you said yesterday at the park!" Michael pushed away from Sonny. "But you couldn't keep that promise, because if you could, Damian would still be here and he wouldn't be in jail!"
"Michael, there was nothing I could do!'
"You can do anything!" Michael shouted back. "You always win, daddy! Nothing bad ever happens to you, and even when something that hurts you ends up happening, you always find a way to make everything okay! Why couldn't you do that for Damian?"
"You have to understand something, I can't fix everything. I want to fix this, I do, but there is only so much I can do right now."
"Do you want him to stay in there?"
"What makes you think that?" Sonny wondered. Michael stayed quiet. "Michael, I asked you a question."
"I... don't know. You just seem like you think he's better than you at everything, and you're always the best. Maybe you don't want someone around you who is better than you."
"Damian's a better person than I could ever hope to be. He doesn't yell at people like I do, he doesn't lose his temper like I do. I love having him around, because he shows me that people can be good, no matter what happens around us, there can always be someone that can show us that there's always going to be someone who is good in the world."
"He said we could do something today..." Michael admitted, recalling their conversation from the previous night. "I thought we could go and get something at Kelly's, or go to the park, or watch a movie. Am I ever going to see him again?" The tears ran down Michael's face and splattered on the carpet, faint, but Sonny was paying enough attention to see what was going on.
"I won't let them keep him in there for a long time, Mike. I'm doing everything I can to get him back here."
"How long will it take?"
"I won't give you an answer, because I don't know it."
"You always have the answers, daddy," Michael was in a state of disbelief. It had never been as bad as it was at that moment for him. "I'm scared."
Sonny knelt down and hugged his son, "So am I..."
Sonny hadn't slept a wink since they returned home from the police station. He had tried several times to rest his head and make an attempt to block out everything that was going on, but he couldn't do it. Every time he closed his eyes he saw his son's eyes looking at him. Damian never said anything, but Sonny could read those eyes, his mother's eyes. He'd seen that look, somewhat, before, the only time he ever managed to get a good look at Ana-Maria, before he was forced upon her. She had that look in her eyes when she realized what her father was into, what he had kept from her. It was the look of hopelessness. Damian was trying to show himself to be someone that hadn't yet given up, but his eyes showed Sonny differently. Sonny couldn't, wouldn't, let that look continue. He would find a way to help his son, he couldn't just let Damian linger in that cell. If anyone deserved to find themselves behind bars, it was Sonny. But he couldn't turn himself in. It was more than the claustrophobia that he had acquired after being stuffed in the closet as a boy. Sonny could live with himself and his phobia if he knew that he had done something to help his son. If it were only that simple. Damian was an adult, he could get along without Sonny being a part of his life, although they would both feel the pain from it. The problem was with Carly, Michael, and Morgan. Sonny could not leave them. Morgan wouldn't remember him. Sonny would be just a name and a face in a picture to his infant son. Sonny wouldn't let that happen. He wouldn't step out of their lives like that. He'd done it, however unwillingly, with his oldest son, and that had caused a rift between the two that had only begun the long process of healing.
Sonny had so much that he wanted to tell Damian the night before, while they were alone in that room. He didn't even let Damian know how much he cared. He'd never told his son that he loved him. Even though they were older, that didn't change the fact that it was there. It was a long process, but Sonny had quickly grown fond of his boy. It was like seeing the opposite side of his own coin. Damian wasn't ruthless, he was kindhearted, but he was also very quick-witted. A lot of his traits came from his mother, Sonny could see Ana in Damian every time, but he could also see himself. It gave him a different feeling from that which he had for Michael. Sonny was proud of Michael, but he would never deny that Michael was not his blood. Michael was as much of his son as Damian, but the lack of blood relation was something that could have never been changed. Everything that Sonny looked forward to seeing in Morgan when Morgan was old enough he was now seeing in Damian. The drive to do something to make an impact, Damian got it from him, even if he didn't know it at the time. So much could have been different if Sonny would have went another path, if Sonny wouldn't have made the mistake of falling into the life that he had taken. It was too late to complain about it, but that didn't stop him from wondering. He would always wonder.
Sonny walked down the stairs into the living room. Without even thinking about it he poked through the door to Damian's room and saw the bed, empty. Sonny had done that a few times after Damian had left the first time. Even then, after barely living there for a scant few weeks, he had made an impact on Sonny's life that could never be taken away. Sonny walked in and looked around. He saw the books that were stacked neatly on the desk. Sonny smiled. It was about time that his money had been used for something that could benefit honest people. Sonny's money had brought so much pain and suffering to those around him, even his family at times. Because of his life he had to take so many precautions. He had to make sure that the house was bulletproof. He had to have guards around at all times. Everything was to make sure that his kids were safe, that his wife was safe. But, while there was no doubt in his mind that they were safe while they were inside his home, there was doubt as to how much living they were actually allowed to do. Michael didn't really have very many friends. He never saw much of other children his age outside of school, karate, and hockey. He tried to make it seem like it didn't bother him at all, and maybe it didn't at that time, but Michael was growing up fast. There would be a time when he would rebel, when he would want to go out and do things his own way. That would put Michael in more danger, make him an even bigger target for violence if he was running around Port Charles unprotected. Sonny's enemies would love the chance to take Michael and use him against Sonny. Sonny dreaded the possibility of boarding school, but it might have been the only way to keep Michael safe. It could wait, for now, but it couldn't wait forever. One day, Sonny would have to explain to Michael, and even later to Morgan, what his life really was like. Damian was right, they needed to know. Sonny couldn't keep them in the dark forever. It wasn't right to them. If they loved him like he loved them, Michael and Morgan would still care, even when they found out that their father wasn't the best person that he could have been, like Michael assumed at that time.
One son who knew Sonny's truth, two that were still clouded by the lie for their own safety. Sonny always had to walk the fine line on the thinnest ice. It was the story of his life. One wrong move on his part and it could all be over. Not even necessarily for him, it could end the life of someone else if he wasn't always at the top of his game. He wasn't at the top of his game when Faith almost killed Damian, much like he wasn't on the top of his game when Asp came back, and when Damian got arrested. All of those things happened because Sonny was fooling himself into thinking that he was truly back to the way that he had been. He should have listened to Jason instead of letting his ego get in the way. Jason... Jason took a bullet that was meant for him. Yet another negative side effect of his folly. Jason had taken a bullet for him, Carly had gotten a bullet in her head because of him, he'd been gunned down and nearly died more than once because of who he was. So much violence. So much death. Was it really worth it all?
"Daddy?"
Sonny snapped out of his thoughts, the emotions of his mind almost bringing him to tears. He tried to hide them as he saw Michael standing in the doorway. "What are you doing up so early on a Sunday?"
Michael gave a slight shrug of his shoulders, "I just couldn't get back to bed."
"Did you have a bad dream or something?" Sonny wondered. He knew what it was like to be plagued by nightmares, even as an adult, they still haunted him.
"Why are you in Damian's room? Is he sick?"
Sonny had two options that he could take, given the conversation. He could make up some story about Damian leaving early, or he could tell Michael the truth and explain that his brother was in jail. "He's not at home right now, buddy."
"Did he go out with Maxie?" Michael asked as he sat next to his father. "I know how much he likes her, and she likes him, too. It's like you and mommy or Uncle Jason and Aunt Courtney. Do you think they'll get married?"
Sonny smiled, thankful that his son could grant him a momentary reprieve from everything that was going on in his life. He could picture them getting married. They could make him a grandfather. He'd like that. The thought was tainted by the severity of the situation, though. Damian couldn't do anything if he never got out. Sonny's doubt clouded over him once more, and he tried his best to break the doubt from his mind. "I can't answer that question, Mike. I know that whatever happens, I want Damian to find someone that he loves so that he can be happy with her, like me and your mother. I want you and Morgan to find someone like that as well."
"I'll never fall in love," Michael protested. "Girl's are icky!"
"You don't think that your mommy or Courtney are pretty?"
"Well, yeah, but they're not girls!"
"What are they?"
Michael stopped himself. He wasn't entirely sure. He finally found an answer, "They're mommy and Aunt Courtney!"
Sonny laughed briefly. That childlike innocence was something that Sonny wanted Michael to keep forever. But he knew that it would eventually have to become a thing of the past. He couldn't keep it jarred up forever. He couldn't keep lying to Michael. He promised Damian that he'd tell Michael the truth. Sonny had to keep that promise.
"Daddy? Are you okay?"
Sonny shook his head, "No, Mike, I'm not."
Michael disliked it when his daddy showed that he was hurt. It was usually something bad. He was like that a lot when Carly was in the hospital. Michael didn't see much of Sonny during that time, he was gone and Sonny was almost always in the hospital standing vigil next to Carly. The few times that Michael did see Sonny, though, even the times that he had just talked to him on the phone, he could sense that something wasn't right with Sonny. It wasn't the daddy that he usually saw. Michael could see that as he looked at his father during those moments that they sat on the couch. "What's wrong?"
"You need to be strong, because I'm not going to tell you something you're going to be nice. Can you do that for me?"
"I think so," Michael replied, fear heavy in his voice.
"Damian was taken away last night. He's in jail right now." Sonny spoke softly and watched his son. He wanted to see exactly how Michael reacted.
Michael, not very surprisingly, started to cry. It wasn't that he wasn't strong, but he was scared now. He knew what jail was, he knew that it was the place that bad people went. He also knew that Damian wasn't one of those bad people. He should have never went to jail. "W... why?"
Sonny picked Michael up and put him on his lap, "Because people are trying to hurt us by making him look like he's a bad person, Michael. Some people are trying to see that he gets thrown into prison for something that he didn't do. We have to be strong for him, because if we're strong and we stand up and say that he didn't do anything, then he'll be strong too."
"The bad man did this, didn't he?" Michael immediately thought of Ric. "He tried to hurt you by kidnapping mommy and trying to steal Morgan, but now he's trying to hurt you through Damian. I hate him!"
"It's not him, Mike," Sonny said softly. As much as he thought it could have been Ric, a bigger part of him was almost certain that it wasn't. Sonny went with that instinct, since it was stronger. He still didn't trust his brother, he just didn't think that Ric had anything to do with it at all. "I don't know who is doing it yet, but I'm going to find out, and I'm going to stop them from hurting any of us."
"That's what you said yesterday at the park!" Michael pushed away from Sonny. "But you couldn't keep that promise, because if you could, Damian would still be here and he wouldn't be in jail!"
"Michael, there was nothing I could do!'
"You can do anything!" Michael shouted back. "You always win, daddy! Nothing bad ever happens to you, and even when something that hurts you ends up happening, you always find a way to make everything okay! Why couldn't you do that for Damian?"
"You have to understand something, I can't fix everything. I want to fix this, I do, but there is only so much I can do right now."
"Do you want him to stay in there?"
"What makes you think that?" Sonny wondered. Michael stayed quiet. "Michael, I asked you a question."
"I... don't know. You just seem like you think he's better than you at everything, and you're always the best. Maybe you don't want someone around you who is better than you."
"Damian's a better person than I could ever hope to be. He doesn't yell at people like I do, he doesn't lose his temper like I do. I love having him around, because he shows me that people can be good, no matter what happens around us, there can always be someone that can show us that there's always going to be someone who is good in the world."
"He said we could do something today..." Michael admitted, recalling their conversation from the previous night. "I thought we could go and get something at Kelly's, or go to the park, or watch a movie. Am I ever going to see him again?" The tears ran down Michael's face and splattered on the carpet, faint, but Sonny was paying enough attention to see what was going on.
"I won't let them keep him in there for a long time, Mike. I'm doing everything I can to get him back here."
"How long will it take?"
"I won't give you an answer, because I don't know it."
"You always have the answers, daddy," Michael was in a state of disbelief. It had never been as bad as it was at that moment for him. "I'm scared."
Sonny knelt down and hugged his son, "So am I..."