Disclaimer: I do not own FF8 or its characters these are property of
SquareSoft and its associates so please don't sue me! I am not making any
money from this for you to take from me!!
Author's note: This is a rewrite of the original as it breached the R rating set by FanFiction.net. Hopefully this version will meet this rating and I won't get another black mark against my name. For those of you who have already read this please re-read and tell me if it makes sense!! Thanx.
Faded Truth (Cleaned Up)
Squall Leonhart sat at his desk, his forehead resting in his hand as he idly rubbed his scar. It had been a long year since the battle with Ultimecia, one in which a lot had happened.
He still had his position as Commander of Garden meaning he spent more time wielding paper than his gunblade. His lips moved slightly as if he was talking to himself.
'What are you doing Shiva?' he thought to the GF resident in his mind.
'What do you mean?' Shiva replied in mock affrontment.
Squall smiled to himself as he recognised Shiva's guilty routine. 'Don't play with me Shiva. You've been in my head fir three years now. I know you too well!' he told her laughing softly.
A vision of Shiva appeared in his mind and she stuck out her pale blue tongue. 'Meanie!' she told him.
'I think you've been listening too much to Rinoa!' Squall replied jokingly.
'Yeah well if you spent more time talking to me I wouldn't have to keep distracting you would I?' she told him sarcastically.
'Ok. Ok! Let me finish these reports and then we can have some quality time ok?' Squall relented.
'Ok, but hurry!' Shiva told him smiling and blowing him a little kiss making him shiver.
Squall tried to focus on the report on the new cadet training as he felt Shiva slink back to her part of his mind.
There had been worries that the use of GFs affected the memory but studies revealed that GFs only temporarily have an effect. When junctioned the GF takes up a place in the users mind, namely memory and usually a specific area. However once the GF is unjunctioned, that memory area returns.
In Squall's case he lost the memory of parts of his childhood because of his permanent junction to Shiva. Not that he minded, he enjoyed the company of someone who felt at home in his cold mind.
He couldn't get rid of Shiva even if he wanted to. That's the way it had been ever since he had come across her in the back of a cave entrapped in a cage of ice when he was fifteen and on a SeeD training exercise. He remembered seeing her smile at him as he came closer, mesmerised by her eyes.
'HEY!' Shiva yelled at him.
'What!?' Squall replied almost jumping out of his chair.
'What have I told you about thinking naughty thoughts about me?' she told him laughing.
'I wasn't!' Squall denied 'Anyway what are you hiding from me?' he asked.
'Er... what do you mean?' Shiva asked caught off guard.
'Well every time I start thinking about when we met you interrupt me!' Squall told her sensing her unease.
'Well, um, it's kind of private and well...' Shiva stammered.
'Shiva it involves me, what is it?' Squall persisted.
'Ok I'll show you.' Shiva replied softly.
Squall's vision flashed white as the flashback hit him.
He was fifteen again and deep inside the cave, ice crystals reflecting the light into dazzling patterns as he made his way deeper. It was then he came across the wall of ice looking up at the young blue woman trapped behind it.
She smiled at him as he looked into her eyes and asked with his mind 'Who are you?'
'Shiva' the figure replied. 'Doesn't the cold bother you?' she then asked.
'No, I like the cold.' Squall replied.
'Really?' Shiva replied raising an eyebrow as the ice cage cracked and she reached out into his mind.
She grinned as she touched it 'So I see, your mind is as cold as my home here.'
'Are you a Guardian force?' Squall asked changing his grip on his gunblade.
'I have been called as such but I prefer being called an Esper.' She replied and appeared before him as a figure his own height.
She reached out and touched his cheek and asked 'You would like me to be your guardian?'
Squall flinched as if struck. Shiva felt the blow to his pride. 'I guess not. How about a companion?' she told him leaning forward and pressing her cold lips to his.
There was a clatter as Squall dropped his gunblade.
Squall stepped back in surprise. 'What..?' he gasped
'So lonely... Squall don't you want to let me in?' Shiva told him.
'How did you know my name?' Squall asked his mind messed up in confusion, the kiss having frozen him and yet burned him at the same time.
The shock having now gone he realised he hadn't wanted the feeling to go.
'I can read into your mind.' Shiva replied softly.
Squall appeared to have not heard this softly saying. 'But if I junction you, you can be taken away from me again.'
Shiva smiled and replied 'There is a way where that cannot happen.'
'You mean you'd be in my mind forever and I'd never lose you?' Squall asked.
'Yes if that is what you want.' Shiva told him.
'Yes I want that.' Squall replied his body shivering in anticipation.
'Very well.' Shiva replied stepping towards him again and gently planting her lips on his again.
This time Squall responded his hands moving onto her soft body, running his hands up her back as the kiss deepened.
White lights filled his vision and then the walls of his office came back into view.
'What!? We had sex?' Squall asked Shiva, painfully aware that he was aroused now and his body was soaked in sweat.
'Yes, it was the only way for me to be permanently junctioned to you!' Shiva replied softly.
'Why don't I remember it?' Squall asked his body tingling in pleasure.
'I made you forget. It was better that way.' Shiva told him demurely.
'Why tell me now? Why am I so turned on?' Squall inquired, running a gloved hand through his damp hair as sweat trickled into his eyes.
'You asked me to. I'm sorry I guess I made the flashback too intense.' She answered adding softly 'Are you mad at me?'
Squall smiled 'No I'm not mad at you Shiva I accepted you into me, I just didn't realise there was more to it than just junctioning.' He told her affectionately.
'So that's why I couldn't let you junction to the others on that mission. We're together until I die right?' her added.
'Yes' Shiva told him.
'Good. At least I don't need to have sex anymore I'll just ask you to replay that flashback!' he told her grinning.
'Hey naughty!' Shiva answered giggling and gave him a little chill.
There was a knock at the door causing Shiva to disappear.
'Come in.' Squall replied.
The door opened and Rinoa walked in wearing her usual black shorts and blue skirt combo but a black sweater rather than her vest top and jacket.
She walked up to his desk smiling. 'Haven't you forgot something Squall?' she asked slyly.
'What?' Squall replied perplexed, his brow creasing.
'You were meant to go check up on Selphie today.' She told him eyeing him critically.
'Hey have you been working out?' she asked noticing the sweat.
'Um yeah.' Squall mumbled.
'Okay well Quistis said to be at the Ragnarok at three o'clock or else.' She told him grinning.
'Oh god, was she smiling when she said that?' Squall asked.
'Only kinda.' Rinoa told him laughing.
'Hmm, okay tell her I'll be there. Aren't you coming?' he asked.
'I can't. I've got Festival Committee. Selph will kill me if I don't get it sorted for when she gets back.' She replied giggling.
'Okay, well I'll let you know how she's doing.' He told her smiling.
'Well Commander, I'll let you go shower.' Rinoa told him winking.
'Thanks Rinoa.' Squall told her as she made her way to leave the room.
Squall sighed as she left. It had been four months since they had split up but seeing her was still a bit painful. Their split had shocked many of their friends but the truth was after the initial passion they were just too different to be more than just friends.
Since she had become a SeeD while they were an item, Rinoa had stayed on helping with the festival and overseeing the division of Garden in the newly freed Timber with Xu.
There was no real reason why she had to have left anyway, the split was friendly, the two of them having agreed that they couldn't stay together and Squall didn't want her to lose her friends in Garden.
There had been more changes in the last year. Quistis had her instructor's license reinstated and was happily teaching cadets whilst also keeping Squall in shape as Commander, reminding of any events that might slip his mind like in today.
The biggest shock was Squall's decision to let Seifer, Fujin and Raijin back into Garden. It had taken a while but the other students had adjusted to this and now the three of them were fully qualified SeeDs.
With the agreement of Cid and Edea, Squall has let Fujin have Pandemona back since he had become unruly without his 'elemental'. Surprisingly of all was that Seifer no longer treated Squall as a rival but as a friend, an equal, the two of them often having fighting sessions in the Training grounds.
As expected Zell had freaked out when Seifer first returned but since the battle with Ultimecia he had become more mellow and had accepted Seifer's presence after a few months, and had even agreed to tutoring Seifer in martial arts. Partly because it meant he was allowed to hit Seifer and get away with it.
As for Selphie she went off to Trabia to help rebuild Garden there and Irvine had tagged along with her although after a year he hadn't been able to stop his flirting and commit himself to Selphie so the two never became the item everyone expected.
Squall stood up from his desk and shrugged off his jacket.
'One good thing about being Commander is that I get my own private shower.' He thought to himself kicking off his shoes as he made his way across the room through the door into the shower.
He turned the tap, filling the room with a warm mist as he continued to take off his clothes and drop them in a heap in the corner. He carefully slipped his chain up over his neck and hung it on a small hook, the Griever medallion sparkling in the sunlight.
He then stepped into the shower and drew the screen across letting the warm water wash away the sweat. The water caressed his cheeks and ran down his bare chest, slowly winding him down from his state of arousal. He tilted his head back letting the water soak his hair and stick it down to his head and he lost himself in the warm gentle caress of the shower.
Author's note: This is a rewrite of the original as it breached the R rating set by FanFiction.net. Hopefully this version will meet this rating and I won't get another black mark against my name. For those of you who have already read this please re-read and tell me if it makes sense!! Thanx.
Faded Truth (Cleaned Up)
Squall Leonhart sat at his desk, his forehead resting in his hand as he idly rubbed his scar. It had been a long year since the battle with Ultimecia, one in which a lot had happened.
He still had his position as Commander of Garden meaning he spent more time wielding paper than his gunblade. His lips moved slightly as if he was talking to himself.
'What are you doing Shiva?' he thought to the GF resident in his mind.
'What do you mean?' Shiva replied in mock affrontment.
Squall smiled to himself as he recognised Shiva's guilty routine. 'Don't play with me Shiva. You've been in my head fir three years now. I know you too well!' he told her laughing softly.
A vision of Shiva appeared in his mind and she stuck out her pale blue tongue. 'Meanie!' she told him.
'I think you've been listening too much to Rinoa!' Squall replied jokingly.
'Yeah well if you spent more time talking to me I wouldn't have to keep distracting you would I?' she told him sarcastically.
'Ok. Ok! Let me finish these reports and then we can have some quality time ok?' Squall relented.
'Ok, but hurry!' Shiva told him smiling and blowing him a little kiss making him shiver.
Squall tried to focus on the report on the new cadet training as he felt Shiva slink back to her part of his mind.
There had been worries that the use of GFs affected the memory but studies revealed that GFs only temporarily have an effect. When junctioned the GF takes up a place in the users mind, namely memory and usually a specific area. However once the GF is unjunctioned, that memory area returns.
In Squall's case he lost the memory of parts of his childhood because of his permanent junction to Shiva. Not that he minded, he enjoyed the company of someone who felt at home in his cold mind.
He couldn't get rid of Shiva even if he wanted to. That's the way it had been ever since he had come across her in the back of a cave entrapped in a cage of ice when he was fifteen and on a SeeD training exercise. He remembered seeing her smile at him as he came closer, mesmerised by her eyes.
'HEY!' Shiva yelled at him.
'What!?' Squall replied almost jumping out of his chair.
'What have I told you about thinking naughty thoughts about me?' she told him laughing.
'I wasn't!' Squall denied 'Anyway what are you hiding from me?' he asked.
'Er... what do you mean?' Shiva asked caught off guard.
'Well every time I start thinking about when we met you interrupt me!' Squall told her sensing her unease.
'Well, um, it's kind of private and well...' Shiva stammered.
'Shiva it involves me, what is it?' Squall persisted.
'Ok I'll show you.' Shiva replied softly.
Squall's vision flashed white as the flashback hit him.
He was fifteen again and deep inside the cave, ice crystals reflecting the light into dazzling patterns as he made his way deeper. It was then he came across the wall of ice looking up at the young blue woman trapped behind it.
She smiled at him as he looked into her eyes and asked with his mind 'Who are you?'
'Shiva' the figure replied. 'Doesn't the cold bother you?' she then asked.
'No, I like the cold.' Squall replied.
'Really?' Shiva replied raising an eyebrow as the ice cage cracked and she reached out into his mind.
She grinned as she touched it 'So I see, your mind is as cold as my home here.'
'Are you a Guardian force?' Squall asked changing his grip on his gunblade.
'I have been called as such but I prefer being called an Esper.' She replied and appeared before him as a figure his own height.
She reached out and touched his cheek and asked 'You would like me to be your guardian?'
Squall flinched as if struck. Shiva felt the blow to his pride. 'I guess not. How about a companion?' she told him leaning forward and pressing her cold lips to his.
There was a clatter as Squall dropped his gunblade.
Squall stepped back in surprise. 'What..?' he gasped
'So lonely... Squall don't you want to let me in?' Shiva told him.
'How did you know my name?' Squall asked his mind messed up in confusion, the kiss having frozen him and yet burned him at the same time.
The shock having now gone he realised he hadn't wanted the feeling to go.
'I can read into your mind.' Shiva replied softly.
Squall appeared to have not heard this softly saying. 'But if I junction you, you can be taken away from me again.'
Shiva smiled and replied 'There is a way where that cannot happen.'
'You mean you'd be in my mind forever and I'd never lose you?' Squall asked.
'Yes if that is what you want.' Shiva told him.
'Yes I want that.' Squall replied his body shivering in anticipation.
'Very well.' Shiva replied stepping towards him again and gently planting her lips on his again.
This time Squall responded his hands moving onto her soft body, running his hands up her back as the kiss deepened.
White lights filled his vision and then the walls of his office came back into view.
'What!? We had sex?' Squall asked Shiva, painfully aware that he was aroused now and his body was soaked in sweat.
'Yes, it was the only way for me to be permanently junctioned to you!' Shiva replied softly.
'Why don't I remember it?' Squall asked his body tingling in pleasure.
'I made you forget. It was better that way.' Shiva told him demurely.
'Why tell me now? Why am I so turned on?' Squall inquired, running a gloved hand through his damp hair as sweat trickled into his eyes.
'You asked me to. I'm sorry I guess I made the flashback too intense.' She answered adding softly 'Are you mad at me?'
Squall smiled 'No I'm not mad at you Shiva I accepted you into me, I just didn't realise there was more to it than just junctioning.' He told her affectionately.
'So that's why I couldn't let you junction to the others on that mission. We're together until I die right?' her added.
'Yes' Shiva told him.
'Good. At least I don't need to have sex anymore I'll just ask you to replay that flashback!' he told her grinning.
'Hey naughty!' Shiva answered giggling and gave him a little chill.
There was a knock at the door causing Shiva to disappear.
'Come in.' Squall replied.
The door opened and Rinoa walked in wearing her usual black shorts and blue skirt combo but a black sweater rather than her vest top and jacket.
She walked up to his desk smiling. 'Haven't you forgot something Squall?' she asked slyly.
'What?' Squall replied perplexed, his brow creasing.
'You were meant to go check up on Selphie today.' She told him eyeing him critically.
'Hey have you been working out?' she asked noticing the sweat.
'Um yeah.' Squall mumbled.
'Okay well Quistis said to be at the Ragnarok at three o'clock or else.' She told him grinning.
'Oh god, was she smiling when she said that?' Squall asked.
'Only kinda.' Rinoa told him laughing.
'Hmm, okay tell her I'll be there. Aren't you coming?' he asked.
'I can't. I've got Festival Committee. Selph will kill me if I don't get it sorted for when she gets back.' She replied giggling.
'Okay, well I'll let you know how she's doing.' He told her smiling.
'Well Commander, I'll let you go shower.' Rinoa told him winking.
'Thanks Rinoa.' Squall told her as she made her way to leave the room.
Squall sighed as she left. It had been four months since they had split up but seeing her was still a bit painful. Their split had shocked many of their friends but the truth was after the initial passion they were just too different to be more than just friends.
Since she had become a SeeD while they were an item, Rinoa had stayed on helping with the festival and overseeing the division of Garden in the newly freed Timber with Xu.
There was no real reason why she had to have left anyway, the split was friendly, the two of them having agreed that they couldn't stay together and Squall didn't want her to lose her friends in Garden.
There had been more changes in the last year. Quistis had her instructor's license reinstated and was happily teaching cadets whilst also keeping Squall in shape as Commander, reminding of any events that might slip his mind like in today.
The biggest shock was Squall's decision to let Seifer, Fujin and Raijin back into Garden. It had taken a while but the other students had adjusted to this and now the three of them were fully qualified SeeDs.
With the agreement of Cid and Edea, Squall has let Fujin have Pandemona back since he had become unruly without his 'elemental'. Surprisingly of all was that Seifer no longer treated Squall as a rival but as a friend, an equal, the two of them often having fighting sessions in the Training grounds.
As expected Zell had freaked out when Seifer first returned but since the battle with Ultimecia he had become more mellow and had accepted Seifer's presence after a few months, and had even agreed to tutoring Seifer in martial arts. Partly because it meant he was allowed to hit Seifer and get away with it.
As for Selphie she went off to Trabia to help rebuild Garden there and Irvine had tagged along with her although after a year he hadn't been able to stop his flirting and commit himself to Selphie so the two never became the item everyone expected.
Squall stood up from his desk and shrugged off his jacket.
'One good thing about being Commander is that I get my own private shower.' He thought to himself kicking off his shoes as he made his way across the room through the door into the shower.
He turned the tap, filling the room with a warm mist as he continued to take off his clothes and drop them in a heap in the corner. He carefully slipped his chain up over his neck and hung it on a small hook, the Griever medallion sparkling in the sunlight.
He then stepped into the shower and drew the screen across letting the warm water wash away the sweat. The water caressed his cheeks and ran down his bare chest, slowly winding him down from his state of arousal. He tilted his head back letting the water soak his hair and stick it down to his head and he lost himself in the warm gentle caress of the shower.