Camilla sat atop the highest spire of Hellsing manor. She crouched comfortably as she watched the moonlit grounds beneath her.
"You do not sleep?" Arucard materialized beside her.
"It is the deepest night, is this not the time when I should be awake?" Camilla responded without turning to look at him.
"It has not been your custom of late, that was the only observation." Arucard answered, ignoring the mild sarcasm.
"This cannot go on…" Camilla said. It had been another year and the fears that she and Hellsing had skirted in the beginning had not disappeared. She could only imagine what Integra was facing, she knew that in her meetings with the Council and the other houses, there was often vehement discussion on her edict to not use the Hellsing Organization for vampire business.
"Really? I thought perhaps we were heading towards a bright new future of vampires and humans living in peaceful co-existence. I was even thinking we should select a holiday to commemorate the occasion." Arucard answered, not bothering to disguise his own sarcasm.
The past year had been so very strange to him. Firstly, there was the infernal presence of the other vampires. It had been bad enough when he had to deal with the Council in Camilla's absence, but after her return and eventual recovery, the new alliances, the court reconvening. He could barely move through London without seeing some vampire or another in the shadows of the night. More than that was the relationship between Camilla and Hellsing. They were very particular in trying to not allow their respective responsibilities to cross over, but when one is the head of one of the oldest vampire houses and the other is head of the largest, and oldest vampire hunting organization, such conflicts were inevitable.
He had made a deliberate point to not involve himself to heavily in either.
"The Court, the Council, all clamor to have their grievances addressed, what new direction are we taking, how can we use this new alliance with the humans to our advantage? Herod remains hidden, the mages have made an uneasy peace with us, the intrigues and manipulations all come to light again." Camilla rambled the thoughts that had been preying on her mind for so many weeks now.
"So true love wanes then?" Arucard said. He suspected this day was coming, Camilla's passing fancy's didn't normally last this long, but she was Camilla after all.
Camilla didn't answer. It was not waning. Except, she was realizing, as the Court attended, the elders came to visit with her and remember suddenly centuries old grudges against other houses and she listened to her own Council members, that she was putting Integra in danger.
There had already been tension around the freedom that the other houses were willing to send to her requesting Hellsing Organization be sent to address some matter or another. She knew Integra had to be dealing with much the same from her own peers. The Royal Order of Protestant Knights were none to pleased with the development of Camilla's return. The Vatican had been overjoyed and sent several attack squads against vampires and the Hellsing Organization.
"I had forgotten how you can be when you choose to brood. I want to practice the new controls again, find me when you come up for air." Arucard said as the sky began to lighten. He had enjoyed Camilla being back, but, her presence often meant a gaggle of followers. She had been, as she always was, more than helpful in teaching him new powers. She also trained Seras and continuing to speak to his progeny. Seras was coming, while still very young as a vampire, into her own power.
Camilla nodded as he disappeared. She was thinking of earlier in the evening. Both she and Integra had meetings to attend. Camilla had come by to surprise Integra and found her in her office, staring out the window, smoking her cigarillo. Camilla had seen the letter with the letter opener staked though it. When she approached, she glanced at it quickly. On Royal letterhead, with the crest of the Royal family, something about the efficiency of the Hellsing Organization and in consideration of past 'mistakes' the continued value going forward.
Integra said nothing of the letter, she had greeted Camilla with open arms and warm kisses. She spoke of the new FREAK activity that appeared to be happening out towards one of the smaller towns outside London. That was the agreement between them, they could speak of 'work' but very lightly. Seldom did they venture into the territory about the rest of the obligations they were each responsible for.
Camilla stared at the glittering city before her. She had wanted to offer a respite to Integra, not be the source of contention for her among her peers. Laurian had always said she was so naïve when it came to her belief that love could transcend everything. Everything but the desires that drive vampires and humans. Camilla missed Laurian, after she had returned to herself; Camilla re-discovered the pleasure of their talks.
She could talk like that with Integra, the problem arose when it ventured into the territory of the houses or the Council or Hellsing's responsibilities.
Camilla had entertained on more than one occasion just giving up her place as head of the house of Alexander and wanting to tell Integra they could just go away. They could live somewhere, away from people and other vampires. Except it was not in either of their natures to be content in such a life.
Camilla had mixed reactions about her intense feelings for Integra. In the years since her first meeting with the young woman, she had watched her move into her adulthood. She was even more beautiful now than when Camilla had first met her. Camilla knew that she would be striking until the day she died. There was that, another elephant in the room they never talked about. Camilla knew that she would never turn Integra into a vampire but sometimes she wished that this woman would be around for centuries because that was how long it would take her to know her.
"I am under your curse now but I call it compromise." Camilla whispered, echoing a sentiment Integra had said to her earlier.
Camilla sighed. She knew what she had to do before the spinning plates began to crash around them.
*-*
Integra opened her eyes to the bright morning shining into her room. She glanced over and saw the bed was empty. Camilla had left in the early morning hours no doubt. Integra smiled to herself. The past year and then some had been like living in some fantastic dream. Despite everything they both dealt with in their respective lives, when they were together, everything else seemed to vanish and that secure sense of peace and happiness would surround them.
She stretched as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. Would that she could have that feeling in every aspect of her life. The repercussions of being involved with Camilla had slipped into every other facet of her life. The Queen had mad her disapproval official in her last communiqué to Hellsing. The Round Table and the Protestant Knights were no less disapproving. On some level, Hellsing saw the validity of their disapproval. She herself knew that if it were anyone else in her position, her voice would be the most adamant.
She had made an uneasy peace within herself about the fact that her lover was a vampire. A creature she had sworn her whole life to destroying. She could rationalize it and tell herself that Camilla wasn't really a vampire, she was an unfortunate victim of circumstance, imbued with powers and attributes that made her look like a vampire. Even Integra knew that argument was weak when she stacked it up against everything else. Camilla led one of the most powerful vampire houses, which meant she controlled a legion of Category A Prime vampires and had access to many more.
The truth of the matter was, all that disappeared when she was with Camilla. She had watched with some amusement Camilla transitioning into the 21st century. Hellsing suspected that was one thing that attributed to her staying power, her willingness to embrace what the new world had to offer.
When Walter arrived with her morning tea, she was dressed and sitting behind her desk. The reality of her position making its' presence known again as she reviewed the latest batch of memos and communiqués.
"Good morning Lord Hellsing." Walter said as he entered the room.
"Good morning Walter. Everything is ready in preparation for this afternoon's meeting? The Queen's representatives have accepted?" Integra replied.
"Yes. There are some noticeable absences from the members of the Round Table, but I believe it was not something we had not expected." Walter said, putting the tea tray down.
"Yes, I was expecting that. Another proud moment is about to take place in Hellsing history." Integra said solemnly.
Walter looked over at the woman and could not discern any humor in her features. He merely nodded his assent.
*-*-
Everyone in the room focused on the two women standing at the end of the large conference table.
Along one side sat Arucard, Seras, Altena and others from the Council of the House of Alexander. The other side sat Walter, Hellsing commanders, the Queen's representatives and members from both the Round Table and Protestant Knights. The center of the table shimmered only slightly from the magickal barrier that separated the two.
Integra and Camilla were facing each other. Power emanated from Camilla as she fixed Hellsing in a withering glare.
"Lord Hellsing, perhaps you did not hear my last statement?" Her voice was cold, her eyes glittering dangerously.
Several of the Commanders reached to their hips, hands resting on their holsters. Across the table, several vampires shifted.
Camilla turned her gaze towards the humans.
"It would be incredibly foolish to think that if you opened the gates to a bloodbath, that it would not be your blood to fill this room." She said.
Integra stared at Camilla. Her own gaze harsh, not revealing the confluence of emotions battling within her.
"I heard what you said Lady Camilla." She replied tersely.
"Then our business is concluded?" Camilla turned her attention back to Integra. She wanted to grab Integra and smother her again with kisses. Kisses that she could still taste from earlier, before they entered this room.
"I am not sure that it is. You are aware the implications of your statement?" Integra asked, trying to understand how the woman before her could be the same woman from only hours earlier.
"You humans are so entertaining with your consequences and implications. Do you understand? There is no more alliance between my house and your organization. I am sorry if you were misled to believe that such a thing truly existed." Camilla gave a small humorless laugh.
"What are you doing?" Arucard asked. He was not surprised by the turn, just the viciousness of Camilla's cruelty.
Camilla did not turn to face him.
"Those obligations that existed before my awakening will continue to hold. The House of Alexander will, in honor of the debt I owe you for your assistance, such as it was for a human, leave this continent. For the rest of you," Camilla turned and faced the men representing the various factions of responsibility Hellsing was obligated to, "I assume that you will likewise honor the shred of the same? It should not be much of an issue for you, the House of Alexander does not expect to remain here very much longer. As for the other houses, I make no claims towards their actions."
Integra felt as if her heart were collapsing within her chest as Camilla spoke. Through sheer force of will she looked coolly at Camilla.
"I believe your point is now absolutely clear. Forgive the misunderstanding." She said through clenched teeth.
Camilla nodded and turned away. She began to walk from the room. Altena and the other vampires that had accompanied her rose and followed her. Arucard stood as well, his red eyes blazing. Seras very gently lay her hand on his arm.
"Master. Let her go." Seras said.
Arucard turned and looked at his young ward. First, amazed that she spoke to him in such a manner, secondly, that she, of all people, would sit by and let this happen. He could sense Hellsing's turmoil, though, true to form, she masked the emotions from those in the room. Camilla he could sense absolutely nothing from.
"How dare you humiliate her like this." He said to Camilla.
Camilla kept walking and did not bother to respond. Once outside Hellsing manor, she shifted into her shadow form and flew up into the darkening sky.
Altena watched her go, and then also shifted into her shadow form and began to follow. The other vampires shifted and began to disappear, one after the other. The chatter between them quick and excited; They loved gossip and this story would keep them entertained for months.
Altena followed Camilla to the outskirts of London as she transformed back into her human form, settling on a crumbling church wall.
Camilla covered her face in her hands and began to weep openly. More than any moment she could recall, she hated now, more than ever, the curse of what and who she was.
"My liege, you had no choice." Altena said as she put her arm around the grieving woman.
"We always have a choice Altena. I made this one to protect her. I could not deny the whispers and the rumors. She was rapidly becoming a target." Camilla replied, her despair evident.
"You did not let her know any of that, did you?" Altena replied. Altena had seen the shift in Camilla in the last few weeks, her questions being asked to the Council, the Court, all led to her decision today. Altena had been only mildly surprised when Camilla had announced they would attend this meeting with the Hellsing organization. She could tell from Arucard's reaction that he did not realize how efficiently Camilla would execute her plan.
"It had to be done, in front of the Council and her own people. There could be no question that I was done with my human dalliance." Camilla could only remember the cold fury in Integra's eyes. Hours earlier, she had gazed into those same blue eyes and felt them touch, like they always did, into the deepest part of her.
Camilla would rather have Hellsing alive and hating her than loving her and dead because of it.
Altena did not answer, instead holding Camilla as she continued to cry. The sobbing becoming more intense as the true consequence of what she had just done sunk in.
*-*-
Hellsing stormed back to her office. She had sat and listened to the 'approval' of this being the right decision in the end by her commanders, the Queen's liaisons and those idiots from the Round Table. The Knights representatives had been conspicuously quiet in their feedback. Arucard had stayed only long enough to listen to the start of the vampire bashing before snorting in disgust and disappearing from his seat. Seras sat, alone, across from the others, for the entire meeting.
She slammed open the door and glared around the room. Her eyes went towards the room that she had spent so many nights in this last year with the vampire creature that had just dismissed her as so much…Trash.
"Lord Hellsing?" Seras had followed Hellsing and stood in the anteroom.
"What do you want?" Hellsing snarled not turning to look at Seras.
"Please do not judge her actions." Seras said as she moved towards Integra Hellsing.
"Don't judge her actions!! Don't…Were you there!!" Hellsing could not contain her fury and hurt as she screamed at Seras.
"Please. I…I was asked to make sure that you were ok." Seras replied. Camilla had spoken to her when she had had stepped into the room.
"You will hear something that must be said. Continue to watch over your Lord Hellsing. She will hate me after this afternoon." Camilla had said without acknowledging she was speaking to her.
"Get out…" Hellsing shouted, still not looking at Seras.
"Yes, Lord Hellsing." Seras said and walked back out of the room. She debated for a moment on staying just outside the room but thought better of it. She also sensed that her Master would be about as well. She wondered why Camilla had given her the slightest clue of what she was going to do and not her Master.
Integra gripped the edge of her chair tightly. Her knuckles whitening as she struggled to control the hurt that she had kept contained for so long. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to make sense of Camilla's sudden turn. Hours before, she had been wrapped in those amazing arms. Both of them sneaking away in the middle of the day, to indulge in a mid afternoon tryst, and not once did Camilla say one word...
She finally moved to collapse into her chair. She saw the small envelope sitting tucked into one of her files. She narrowed her eyes. Did she really want to bother? She reached down and picked up the small vellum envelope.
If the hurt within here wanted to rip the letter up and throw it away, there remained, as always, the pragmatic side of her which opened the envelope.
Yes, it was a letter from Camilla. She recognized that beautiful script written across the paper she unfolded.
My sweetest beloved-
I can only hope that you will read this letter and allow me some small respite from your fury. I am aggrieved to the deepest recesses of my being for the pain that I will cause you. I know that you are under incredible pressure from your peers, the Royal family, your own organization, all because of me. I can almost hear you reply to me, asking if I am the center of the world very much. It is you who are the center of my world and that makes you the focus of far too many eyes.
I love you Integra Hellsing. I love you as I loved only one other. I am afraid that these moments, which I treasure, will have disappeared from me so quickly as you live out your mortal life. I am selfish, I cannot deny, I want to spend more than the decades you have on this earth. But, I would never ask you to become that which you are, by your very blood, sworn to destroy. It would not suit you, my beautiful, proud, astonishing Integra.
I would rather live with you hating me and alive in this world than loving me and not. I have no choice, I have been told that already there are those who see you and your organization as the perfect opportunity to attack the House of Alexander. I cannot make you a pawn in tedious century long grudges. I wanted to ask you to leave with me, someplace far away, cloaked from seeking spells and vampire senses, just you and I, on a beach or in the mountains, by the lake. I would not have cared, so long as it was you and I. Alone, together. Yet you and I do not have that luxury, it is not in our nature to hide from the world.
Forgive me my love, I know you will think me a coward, and I am because for you, I will always choose that which favors you. You have my word that the House of Alexander will leave your land. I will make every effort to encourage the other Houses follow suit. If they do not, I do not ask that you make any special exceptions. I am sorry that my being with you had contained that which you were bred to do, you are Lord Integra Hellsing, daughter of Sir Robert Hellsing, granddaughter of Abraham Van Helsing, great granddaughter of Sir. Laurent Van Hellsing…A lineage devoted to ridding the world of the undead scourge. I hope I have managed to let you know that not all of my breed are indeed a scourge. Most of them are, that is hard to deny, but not all.
Please destroy this letter my love. My public exclamation had to ensure there was no doubt in anyone's mind that you are no longer compromised by your affection for me. The elders from my house will run and gossip and in no time, the world will be right again. For everyone except you and I since my world without you is not right but it is a necessary state to let you live.
With all my love-
Camilla
"Damn you Camilla." Hellsing sobbed as the tears started anew. She sat in her office reading the letter and crying through the night. Walter stood in the hallway leading to the office and turned back anyone who tried to approach throughout the night.
*-*-
"Where is she!" Arucard demanded as he materialized into the large mausoleum that had served as Camilla's central operations.
The room full of whispering and laughing vampires all turned to stare at him.
"Lady Camilla has not been seen since her departure from the Hellsing Manor Lord Arucard. Is there something wrong?" One of the elders spoke, a smirk barely concealed.
Arucard fought the impulse to rip the smirk off their faces. He could not even be sure why he cared so much. He was furious with Camilla, although he was not sure why. He knew this was coming she had as much as told him when last he saw her. Maybe it was because he had thought she would do it privately, not in front of these idiot fawning sycophants. Their smirks and whispers were all regaling the humiliation of his master.
"There is nothing wrong, I merely wanted to ask what her future travel plans were." Arucard replied calmly.
"I will contact her later." He said as he disappeared from the large, cold room.
He materialized outside and stood, perfectly still. He concentrated on Camilla's essence, something he had perfected in the year of her absence, although then it had done him no good. There…She was outside of the city. He cocked his head, she was distraught but he could barely sense her anguish. Someone was cloaking her. Altena…Arucard snarled and shifted into his shadow form and took to the night sky.
He approached from the sky and saw the two vampires sitting on the wall. He materialized before them.
Camilla straightened from her position. Altena released her arm from around Camilla's shoulder.
Arucard saw the pain in Camilla's eyes, even as the mask of her indifference began to slip back into place.
"Why did you follow me? Did I not make myself clear? Your obligation to your master remains intact." Camilla said, looking up at Arucard.
"So you release me from my obligations to the House of Alexander?" Arucard asked in response.
"Is that what you wish, to be one of the rogues? If that is what you want, I will release you. Perhaps it is the better solution, to allow you to serve your master. Your progeny, remember you asked that she too be given the protection of the House." Camilla did not want to talk to Arucard. She was jealous that after he left her, he could see Hellsing. He would see Hellsing now and again tomorrow. She fought the lump rising in her throat.
"Seras will make her own choice. I am not asking to be disowned by the House of Alexander, I am asking only that my place in your court be removed. A fair request I believe." Arucard knew that this was not why he had followed her. Yet, the brief flash of pain he saw in her eyes before the cool reserve was back in place made him realize that she had not done what she had done lightly. That must be why Altena was cloaking her anguish.
"You still love her." Arucard asked.
Camilla did not answer, she stood and began to move away.
"Do not walk away from me. I am, was furious with you. You did all of this on purpose. You wanted our kind to spread the story, so the world would go back to what it was." Arucard stepped in front of Camilla.
"I made it clear that I was done with that particular fancy, as you so love to refer to them." Camilla finally said, not looking up at him.
Arucard stared at her and then looked over at Altena.
"You will not betray her?" Arucard said to Altena.
"I will not." Altena replied.
Arucard looked back at Camilla. He never could understand her, even everything she revealed to him, he could not understand her actions.
"So, we are agreed. I still serve the House of Alexander." Arucard started to say.
"You serve Hellsing Organization first. It is understood.' Camilla answered, finally turning to look at him.
Arucard just nodded and shifted back into his shadow form and melted into the darkness now surrounding all of them.
"You chose not to tell him. Yet, you told his progeny. The young one." Altena observed.
"No, I did not. Had you not followed me, I would not have told you either." Camilla replied simply.