Chapter five
I wake up to the sound of an alarm buzzing and look over my shoulder to find that its eight o'clock in the morning and I forgot to turn the alarm off last night before going to sleep. My shift doesn't start until noon today so I can still go back to sleep for a couple of hours.
When I wake for the second time I feel alive and refreshed. I hop out of bed and into the bathroom and I am immediately reminded of something that I had forgotten during the night. There are girly products on my bathroom sink, Abby stayed over last night. I take a look around to make sure that I am alone and I quickly pick up her perfume and inhale the scent deeply. I love the way she smells, there is something about this scent that is pure Abby. I laugh inwardly at myself when the thought of spraying it on my pillow crosses my mind. I am a pathetic, lovesick teenager.
I pad my way quietly down the stairs to find my guest sitting at the dining room table reading the newspaper with a cup of coffee at her side. I watch her for a second and then make my way over to her across the room.
"Good morning"
"Morning" She gives me a smile and I can tell that she feels better today.
I move in front of her and kneel down to her eye level and lightly grab her face in my hands. I look into her bruised eye and then press my index fingers lightly around her nose.
"Scale of 1-10?" I ask.
"I'd say about a seven."
"Did you take some Vicodin or anything?"
"Just Tylenol." I nod my head. If anyone would understand why she would stay away from Vicodin, it would be me.
"How did you sleep?"
She nods her head okay with an almost shy look on her face. She finally offers me a little bit more.
"I kept seeing him."
"What?" I ask her gently; I'm not sure what she's saying. She looks at me for a second and I can tell that she's reluctant to say what she really wants to.
"Last night, when I would close my eyes, he was there, just inside of my head."
I look at her for a second silently communicating that it is safe for her to keep talking if she wants to get things off of her chest. I'm surprised that she has chosen to tell me this. Abby has never once told me something that has made her appear so vulnerable, she must have mustered up a lot of courage to say it. I think that she finally trusts me and even though this isn't time to think about a relationship, I'm glad that she's opening up.
When she decides that that is all she is going to offer, I realize that I should say something comforting right now and I'm not sure what that should be.
"You could have woken me up." The minute I say this I think about what it would be like if Abby had come to me in the middle of the night. Would she have let me hold her?
"I wouldn't want to bother you." My warm thoughts are quickly crushed by her response. I just hope it's not evident in any facial expressions I might be making.
"Really, it wouldn't be a bother."
"I'll keep that in mind." She replies with a smile and adds, "What time are you on?"
"Noon, but its a half shift so I'll be home around seven. You're taking the day off right?" I hope she says yes. Even though she feels better today, she shouldn't be working yet.
"Ya, I have to follow up with the investigator guy about my claim."
"Did you want me to go with you to do that? I can call in and tell Susan that I'll be late?"
She shakes her head no.
"There'll be a lot of patients that need you more than I do today."
"Okay, but when you get back you need to take it easy and rest. Take a Tylenol every four hours, okay? And put some ice on that bruise. "
"Yes Dr. Carter" She gives me a roll of her eyes.
I walk over to her and stroke the back of her head lightly and rub my hand down her back while I place a gentle kiss on top of her head. I turn to walk out the door and Abby grabs my hand bringing me back in front of her. She looks at me for a good minute and then says something that blows me away.
"I might take you up on that wake up offer sometime."
I'm sure she didn't mean that the way that I would like to think of it, but whatever way she meant it, I'll take.
"Anytime" I reply, emphasizing the "any"
"I mean, if I continue to have the dreams." I should of known that she'd clarify that for me. She looks a little embarrassed because she probably realized how that sounded and I'm sure that she saw the spark in my eyes when her words came out. I don't really care though, I'm not sure that I can hide my feelings any longer.
I nod my head to let her know that I understand what she meant and I walk out the door, unable to get the picture of Abby at my bedside out of my mind.
Its 6:30 pm, I've just finished my shift and I'm excited to get home and spend some time with Abby. Hopefully she will be feeling all right. Maybe we can have diner together and hopefully shell open up and talk to me about what happened. I don't want to pressure her into talking if she doesn't want to, but there is something that I want to ask her.
I walk in the front door and find Abby asleep on the couch. There is an open book resting on her pelvis and a plastic bag of melted ice on her chest. I sit down next to her and gently pull the ice off of her chest to find that it has left a wet circle on what is now a see through white t-shirt. It appears that she is braless and I can't help but steel a tiny glance and immediately I chide myself for peeking. She stirs a little, turning to her side and bringing her hands up to her ear to rest her head on them. She starts to open her eyes a little.
"Hi" I whisper.
"Hi" She replies in a raspy and sleepy voice.
"You must be freezing, you're all wet." I reach behind the couch to pull a blanket over her as she looks down at the puddle. She notices that her shirt is revealing a little bit, but she doesn't seem to be embarrassed at all. I hope its not because she thinks of me in that brotherly sense that would allow her to be naked in front of me and for her to know that its okay because I don't think of her that way, cuz that would be way off base.
"The swelling seems to have gone down a bit." I move a piece of hair out of her face and away from her bruise.
"Good, so maybe I don't look like a monster anymore," her voice still coming out raspy.
"Never did" I reply.
I change position where I'm seated next to Abby and she notices that I'm uncomfortable, and I am a little, because I want to ask her a question and I'm not sure how she's going to respond.
"Abby, I umm . . .I want to ask you something . . . and you don't have to answer if you don't want to or if you don't want me to know, but its been bothering me and I feel like I just have to ask. . ."
"Carter" She interjects. "What?"
"Susan told me . . ." I pause to take a deep breath and Abby looks at me, waiting with wide eyes.
"Uh . . . Susan told me that she did a rape kit . . . and it's just . . it's just killing me knowing that that was a possibility . . . and you don't have to tell me what the results were if –
"No." She interrupts me, shaking her head.
"No, you don't want to tell me? Or, uh . . No, they didn't find any signs of . . uh" My words trail off. I don't even want to say the word "rape" in reference to Abby and especially not to her face.
"No, she didn't find any signs of abuse." I let out a breath I had been holding and Abby notices how relieved I am to hear that news. I wish she new how much I cared about her. I wish it were easy just to tell her.
"Good" I guess that's the only thing I can say.
She shakes her head in agreement.
"Ya, that's a good thing."
"So how did your meeting go with the investigator?" I ask.
"Well Brian made bail so I assume that he's back in his apartment, which means that I'm going to have to move, I guess."
I move to sit on the coffee table so I am right across from her and Abby sits up, letting the blanket fall from her shoulders to a puddle around her lap.
"You can stay here as long as you want." I offer, hoping that she'll take me up on it.
"Thanks, but I cant live here forever." I beg to differ, but I can't tell her that quite yet.
Abby gets up from the couch and starts towards the stairs.
"I'm Freezing, I'm going to take a shower."