Darkness in the Twilight
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
By Psycho Ferret and LunarCrystal
Resolution
Allen made sure that Celena did not move from her bed for the week Icarus had prescribed. Though even the young healer could sense a change in both siblings. He had lost his resolve for asking Celena to a lunch date, but hoped that their calls upon him and his peers would be scarce after so much tragedy befalling them. He left Allen's cold presence, feeling he was more protective of her than usual.
Gaddes was finally called back to the palace, having avoided his duties in the armed forces for more than two months due to his friend's ailments. Celena finally was able to leave her bed for more than a quick trip to her chamber pot, and she was glad that it did not hurt her anymore to do so.
Allen had taken up his practice with his sword. If he was her knight, then by God, he'd do it right. He moved faster and easier, listened closer. He'd gotten where he could move at a normal pace up and down the stairs without falling all over the place.
All in all, he was making progress and was thankful that Celena was getting better quicker.
Celena could not have been happier for her brother's recovery. With him always around her, the horror of what the highwayman had bestowed upon her was nearly forgotten. Not even an ache in her body to remind her of that horrible night.
She decided to finally dress, in a day gown of sky blue with white pearl trim. The sleeves were abundant, as were the skirts. It felt as though the more cloth she wore, the harder it was to find her flesh beneath it. The heaviness of it was like a protective blanket. Primped and proper, like the kind of lady Allen had always loved to court, she stepped out of her room and went downstairs to meet him in the fields behind there home.
He was alone there this day, with Gaddes called back and her still supposedly inside. He had set his boots and coat aside, the rapier carefully in hand as he swept through something of a kata. He was light on his feet and with his eyes closed it seemed as if it was simply that. That his eyes were closed... that any moment he would open his eyes and see the world around him.
He was silent, besides the soft breathing and the rustle of his movements in the grass, the sing of the sleek blade cutting through the air.
"You seem to be doing better." Celena mused as she watched him from underneath a lemon tree. Her outfit was stunning, though he would never see it. She even bothered to wear gloves and bring with her the matching parasol.
Gloves, as always, were worn. He did what he could to keep calluses from forming on his own hands. He easily finished up his kata, then turned his head towards her, offering a soft smile. "It is becoming steadily easier, I do admit."
Following her voice, he walked quietly over, boots and coat in hand. He slid down to sit next to her, that faint smile lingering. "And you... how are you?"
"I have no pains today. I am better as well." she said demurely, before reaching over and surprising him with a kiss. "I was thinking we might go to the city today."
Allen smiled softly and nodded a little, tracing his fingers over the full sleeves of her dress, the soft gloves that covered her dainty hands. "You have dressed for it, mm?"
"I have indeed dressed for it. You bought me this gown not too long ago - it's sky blue with white and gold trim. Do you remember it?" She asked.
Allen smiled, brightening a little. "I most certainly do. I'm sure it looks stunning on you. But come... I wouldn't shame you by going in this garb."
"Nonsense," answered Celena hastily, eyeing her brother as he was dressed and secretly wishing such finery were on the floors of her bedchambers. "You - are most handsome in your attire. Please, please, let us go on an outing today. I want to parade down the streets with you as my escort." She said every word as she leaned in closer to him, and as he did not move from her advancing, she continued until their noses touched.
Allen laughed softly, nuzzling her nose with his own, standing and offering a hand. "Nonsense yourself, my fair maiden. If you are dressed as such, I should be as so beside you."
"Then what do you suggest, you smarmy airship captain." she teased.
Allen smiled, pulling her gently to her feet, slipping on his boots in a smooth motion, leading his way down the path he'd trodden many times towards the house, his fingers curling themselves into hers.
He padded quietly up the steps, snatching up one of the maids and nudging her to his rooms. He couldn't see the pieces in his wardrobe, after all. He didn't want to mismatch or something, leaving his sister to wait patiently.
The maid left his room giggling softly. It was good to see them both in such good spirits and she was sure to tell Celena so, then bustle off to do her housework. A short moments later, the blonde slid quietly out of his room, making his way down to where he'd left his sister. The knee-length frock coat was fitted at the waist, a soft black color, the pants fit snugly, a smooth, soft black leather that betrayed their wear.
Tucked cleanly into those piratey boots of his, a loose cream colored poet's shirt tied off at his waist by a silken blue sash, his hair rebrushed. Stunning, just as his sister did. And, as always, a pair of soft gloves, the sword word at his waist beneath the coat. He carried it constantly with him again, a subtle reminder to himself and others of just who he was, even if he had suffered his blindness.
A small gasp came from Celena as he entered the parlor in such finery. She felt an ache in her chest again, the same one from that first night when they kissed. He was so beautiful to her, so fine, so delicate. "You are truly a noble gentlemen, Allen. You're so dashing, if you could look at herself in the mirror, I would be afraid that you would fall in love with yourself." And she went to him to take his hands.
Allen laughed, shaking his head, offering an all too roguish smile. "Or at least I can look the part of a gentleman, mm? Only fitting enough that I go with the most beautiful woman. Come, let us go to town, as you said."
The carriage ride wasn't so dreary or depressing. In fact, if anything, Celena was excited to take the ride - she found something in her brother that none other can fill. But she was hard pressed to describe what, exactly, it was about him that made him so different from other men. Surely it was more than just his treatment of her.
Perhaps it was that he could never look at her, never see her, and really truly see how disgusting and undesirable she must be. His eyes would never hold disdain for her, never glare at her. They would eternally be soft cornflower blue that simply stared into nothingness. And his lips would always be there to kiss her fears away. He was not wracked with wantonness.
Thus, with his hand gripping around the many folds of her sleeves to be guided by her arm, they walked along the cobblestone paths, following the canals of their fair city, and avoided the sections where devastation and famine still lingered. "We could have lunch here, Allen. Would you like that?"
"Would it please you? I would do it so." Allen smiled softly, walking with her, led by her arm. he did not mind so much anymore. He didn't mind the stares he got... he, once a knight respected, now cast aside for his injury. He could not see them, no.
But all that mattered was the fact that Celena was there beside him. That was what mattered. He knew she would never hate him so, never push him away because of his blindness. She was a kind woman, perfect. The event with the highwayman had strengthened her and their bond.
Though he had never spoken to her of the highwayman's fate. That was one secret he would keep close, untouched. She did not have to know.
"We're going into a cafe now, Allen. And there are three steps." she said to him, leaning to his ear so that her voice was not carried over to uninvited ears. They had to stop to wait for Allen to gather how far apart the steps were, stepping up and inside. It was a refreshing little place, inside the cafe. The walkways outside around the little cafe were drenched with water, cooling the indoors dramatically. There were fans above them in the dining room, and plants of all kinds all along the walls.
It was truly a breathable cafe and very comfortable for weary lungs. There were led to a table in the corner and were handed menus before being left to decide on what to order.
"Hmm," said Celena, scanning down the list of choices, "Oh, baked salmon with a lemon pepper crust. Or the baked chicken with the mushroom sauce and rice pilaf and Freid cabbages sautéed in a sherry wine. . . and for desert Goat cheese cheesecake in a hazelnut crust with raspberry puree. It's so hard to decide."
Allen smiled softly, head tilted to the side a little, pondering over her kindness. She knew his pride was dear to him still, what bit of it he had left, and even though many knew of his blindness, she would be subtle about it. He was thankful for it.
"Choose for me, surprise me," he said with that roguish smile, sitting across from her, legs crossed beneath the tables, long blonde hair pooling at his waist against the chair where he sat.
The waitress came by, a flurry of ribbons and ruffles moving about her ankles. She had a short half-apron on and came up to their table with a smile. "Something to drink, miss?" she asked Celena.
"Vino, please." answered the noble girl.
"And would he like something to drink as well?" asked the waitress, having noted the vacant gaze of the young man in this woman's company.
"The same, if you will, ma'am." Allen turned his head towards the waitress, offering a soft smile. Undoubtedly she noticed... how could you not? He'd seen blind men before. It was only a pity that he had turned out the same.
The waitress left them once more to fetch a bottle of vino for them. Celena looked to her brother, her hand automatically searching for his underneath the table.
"Are you alright?" she asked worriedly.
Allen blinked slightly, curling his fingers around hers and smiling. "Of course. I am with you, how could I not be?"
"It's just," she sighed, "Allen, I will not hide the fact that I worry about you. You have been doing so well lately, and I couldn't be more happy for you. But I know you're not used to being around people yet."
"It's alright, Celena, I promise. I have you, do I not? And what does it matter... I cannot see their faces anyhow. You need not worry. I will not be foolish enough to draw away as I had done before."
"It just makes me wonder," she said dejectedly, "What else could possibly go wrong in our lives. I'm only 18. Here you are, a dashing 23 year old nobleman. How much more tragedy must we suffer?"
"Don't you worry over it, Celena, we shall be fine. We have pulled through what we have, yes? Then we will do so if there is any other trouble, as well." Allen smiled reassuringly.
"Of course. Yes, we will be fine." she hung her head, "Allen, I - I wanted to talk to you about something."
"Yes, what is it?" Allen cocking his head to the side slightly, looking sightlessly over at her.
"Well, it was about - us." and she squeezed his hand, partly afraid of the line of conversation she was about to engage in, anxious of what might come of it. "Allen, is it wrong of me to want children?"
"It is a woman's way. It is not unnatural." Allen had dreams, before all this, of having a son. Raising him as he was raised. Or a daughter, to spoil with gifts, a little princess.
But what would it seem to be to the public eye? There would be no convincing those who looked closely that it was, say, the child of her attacker. There would be no sign of it in the children. Was it so wrong for her to want children? No. Was it so wrong to want children with her brother? Many would say yes.
But Celena was perfect to him. What would be wrong about it?
"There are many in this world who would say what we're doing is wrong." bemoaned Celena, "And I cannot help but take heed to some of what they say. The children from such close familial ties - they are stillborn, or worse . . . I have heard it somewhere, read it somewhere, that such parents cannot have normal children. As if the gods makes sure to forbid it."
"I would not know of such things, I am sad to say." Though it was true, wasn't it? Normal children were not born to such parents. "If they say it is wrong, what does it matter? Celena it is what you think that matters."
"Allen," she said quietly, having to stop briefly while the waitress brought their vino to them, setting the glasses down and pouring before going back to her duties - since their menus were still open and indicated that they were not ready to order.
With a vengeance, she grabbed the glass of vino, gulped it down until her cheeks were flushed with heat. "Would you be my husband?"
After the question, there was a silence that hung between them that was almost dread. So long it seemed to span, him sitting there with the glass of wine in hand, thinking. Would he be her husband? Oh, if only he was worthy of such an honor. The be hers, to be with her always. Such an honor.
"I am undeserving... but I would. It would please me to be yours."
"I would ask for nothing else in the world," said Celena in a tone of underlying sadness, "if I could have you by my side. I would forsake the very breath from my body if it meant to live in eternity with you." Such was the way of a young and tattered heart, full of woes and pains of love for their beloved.
Celena wonder if Allen even felt the same way, all her words sounding so foolish to her ears. She, herself, could hardly believe them
"Don't speak like that. I wouldn't have you do such a thing for me. Remember?" Allen smiled softly, reassuringly, he hoped. "I am your knight..." Allen's words were soft and full of meaning, full of the gnawing at his heart. He felt the same way, the same perfection when they were near. That... couldn't be wrong, could it?
"And what sort of wedding would we have, Allen. What ring would I bear on my finger? My only wish is to be with you for the rest of my life, for I could never bring myself to love another - but is this folly?"
"Small... something just for us. Anything you want. Anything. I simply want to be at your side... and I couldn't care less what others thought of it. Only you and I, we are the only ones that matter in this. The only ones."
Celena was about to reply, but the waitress came back asking for their orders. The girl was very short with the waitress, finally deciding on the salmon for both of them just so that the meddlesome waitress would leave them to their conversation. She poured herself more vino - of which she drank down in nearly one gulp again - and took a breath.
"No temple will marry us, Allen." she said, "You know this."
"Who needs a temple, Celena? All that matters is that we know." Allen shook his head slightly, a faint smile on his lips. "Ceremony or not, I'll easily pledge myself to you."
"And I to you . . . Allen," she replied. Silently, she wondered if she would ever be able to call him brother again. She'd fallen in love with the ideal of him, her brother being the only person able to fill such a role of her ideal. "Where should we marry then?"
"It doesn't matter. Wherever you so choose, I will follow." She, after all, was the one that would see it. Not to say that it wasn't meaningful to himself, either. The idea of it sent thrills through him, made him smile.
"Would we have witnesses?" Her voice was growing soft, the wine taking it's toll on her demeanor and making her fatigued at midday.
"We could. Or we could keep it a secret. It matters not. Either way I will be beside you, and that's what matters."
"The beach by our home, then. You may not see the ocean, but you could at least be surrounded by the scents of our childhood. I won't even dress elaborately - since I won't have to, for what good would it do? We will have no witnesses, and a simple band for each other's fingers." It was like she was describing a fond dream, her tone whimsical and distant. "I don't care what anyone might say, or think - it's just us, now. Right?"
"It is... for now and forever and after that." Allen nodded, smiling a bit. "You will be beautiful any way you choose. An angel..." Allen sipped his wine idly. "Perfect, just like you always are."
Celena, of course being ever tactful, said nothing. They were served their lunch and enjoyed it in each other's pleasant company. Although, a problem did arise, after Celena had had so much vino that she found herself leaning on her brother. She occasionally had to close one eye to see straight. Still, they continued on down the streets of Palas - the markets were not as bustling today, thankfully.
"Should we visit the palace, Allen?" asked Celena, the question coming from very much out of the blue. Her mind must not have been in their complete wits from so much drink and dreaming. "Say hello to the princesses?"
"Are you sure you're up to it?" Allen wasn't sure he was, but if Celena wished it... then by God, he'd take her there. "After all, you can hardly walk straight." Allen had an arm about her waist to keep her steady, as well as to keep a hold on her as she led him.
"And you would know this how?" she asked playfully, poking him in the side.
Allen blinked slightly, arching a brow. "You're leaning on me. You can't stand by yourself." It wasn't a chiding tone, no, but teasing, amused.
Celena sighed, "Yes, let's go visit the palace. Maybe Millerna would let us walk the gardens. She's your friend, right?" She was speaking most abnormally - her speech not quite the most coherent. In fact, it darn near child-like but it could not be helped. She was, indeed, in high spirits and only wanted to spend the day with her brother.
"She is... something of that sort, yes. Very well, then... lead on, shall you?" Allen inclined his head slightly. He wasn't sure what to expect. He hadn't spoken to Millerna since... well, he was hard-pressed to remember a time after Allen had retrieved his sister.