I still don't own anything. It's kinda sad in a way, you know. You feel penniless. Well, in a way, I am penniless, since I'm neither American or living in America, so…yea…on with the story and no more incredibly lame "speeches" about figures of speech.
Chapter 2
"I hereby come to order the ……. What's our name? You don't know? Well put that on our agenda," boomed Tommy, who was elected chairman as he was the biggest. It was the start of the first meeting of the _______ (they don't have a name yet remember?). The group of 7 boys were in a forest near the Maycomb creek where the sounds of splashing water and happy giggling could be heard during the summer. But it was spring now. Jem Finch was sitting ontop of a low tree branch listening half attentively.
"Our first order of business for today, is to make up a name." Tommy boomed again.
"A name? Wut do we need a name for?" the tall handsome boy from before exclaimed.
"Look, do you wanna be mature or not?" Heads nodded a little unsure, "then we gotta have a name." The boys silently agreed. Soon the debate for a good name started.
"I think it oughta be long!" choruses of "yea" rang through the woods.
"How about The Big Kids?"
"No! Sounds like sum dumb TV show."
"How bout Kids that are Big"
"No! Even worse!" The corny names drove on for eternity. Until….
"How about, The Honourable Fellowship of the Adult Boys," Jem spoke up. He had had this idea for ages, but he wanted to see how corny the names got. The other six boys contemplated his ideas. Whispers of "I told you he was mature" could be heard. The vote was unanimous.
"I officially name us, The Honourable Fellowship of the Adult Boys" Tommy said like it was his idea. "Now the next step to become mature, is…Girls." The boys were stunned. They did not want anything to do with girls, being normal 5th graders.
"But Tommy! Girls are the most immature creatures in Maycomb county!"
"Ahh…but you see, in order to be mature, you gotta have a girlfriend. Like me." Tommy answered back.
"WHAT!" the whole crew of boys shouted, including Jem.
"Her name's Gertrude Jellop, she goes at the Middle School. Everyone there has a girlfriend. And their mature."
"Didn't reckon on mixing with no girlys when I joined," a black-haired boy named Thomas mumbled.
"Quiet! I will do the talking. So next, you gotta choose a girl to like."
"Whaddaya mean like?"
"As in like. Like your ma likes your pa. Ya know, like a boyfriend likes a girlfriend" The boys were repulsed by this thought. The word 'Yuck" was running through all of their minds, including Jem. Jem was currently feeling the emotion of being sick. Tommy continued…
"So pick a gurl, you have 5 minutes." Groans could be heard as the guys had to do what they feared most, to pick a girl that they had to like. Time passed. Jem was at lost. A girl? How could he pick a girl he actually liked? Some of them were tolerable, but most were annoying. The only girl that he vaguely liked was Scout, but he couldn't choose Scout, could he? Maybe, he could make up a pretend girl or something? Let's see… His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the Maycomb clock chiming 4 o' clock.
"Well boys, time's up! You gotta tell us who you chose." Tommy announced, "I'll start first"
"I chose my beloved Gertrude," he announced with some amount of "love". It sounded more like he was a constipated pig. More vomiting noises could be heard.
"I choose…I choose…oh fine…I'll say it, I choose Suzie Bellcom" said a brave red-head named Benny Tiron. Other soon followed suit.
"I choose Liza Carrie" volunteered a small, handsome boy called Jimmy Layor.
"I choose Tina Sayer" continued a tall shy boy named Teddy Landum.
"I choose Maddie Turner" That was Jake Couger, the cunning boy who was bound to become a gangster. Jem was panicking. 6 people had gone, and then there was one left before Jem was due to meet his doom. And he hadn't even invented a name yet!
"I choose…" Panic! It was the last person before him, a pretty boy called Aaron Rodney.
"Michelle Lancer." It was his turn. Jem was dead, Jem was doomed, Jem would be humi….
"So Jem, you gunna make up your mind and wipe that horritrified look off your face?" came Tommy, smirking. Suddenly, Jem was hit with inspiration. That city girl, the new one. She was kinda pretty, nice braids too, with a sassy accent. What was her name again? Some strange city name…started with a J, and he remembered that it sounded like a guy's name, it was, it was…JACKLYN! Jacklyn Candler! Yeah! That's it…
Suddenly, Jem realized that everyone was staring at him. Apparently, he had just said all of that out loud. Including the pretty part. In other words, Jem had just committed social suicide.