Darkness in the Twilight
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By Psycho Ferret and LunarCrystal
Wrong
The sunlight did not wake him, but the sounds of those outside in the halls, moving quietly about, did. He shifted, carefully drawing himself out of her embrace, wary of waking her, draping the sheets over her before dressing quietly in clothes he'd set out the night before.
Celena continued to sleep fitfully, having no responsibilities to frighten her mind into early waking. The sounds outside were muffled by the glass, but it was clearly the morning's field exercises - archery by the sound of the arrows making their deadly "thud" into hay bale bull's eyes.
Allen went about his duties, chatting with the soldiers easily. He was easy to get along with, didn't hold his higher ranking over everyone else. He didn't flaunt his knighthood. He seemed in better spirits than he had the day before and his shoulder was feeling better. All-in-all, a better day.
It was after dinner, when Allen was just about to retire into his chambers, that Celena came out in a flurry of ribbons and bows, bumping into her brother and knocking him solidly backwards.
"Allen!" she exclaimed worriedly, "Are you alright?"
Allen started, stumbling a bit, but catching himself on the wall. He blinked, grasping her arm gently. "Of course I am, what's got you so worked up? Are you alright!?" Panic fluttered in his chest. Something was going on...
"Of course, I am." she assured him quickly, making sure he was steady on his feet - but the hold he had on her arm . . . he was concerned. So she smiled gently to him, letting her softness show in her voice, "Don't worry about me, I'm perfectly alright. I was called upon today, and I'm afraid I might be late."
"Ah... alright." Allen smiled softly, nodding, his wariness easing. "Do take care to have fun, hm? And take your time. Just because you're surrounded by soldiers doesn't mean you have to live an unexciting life." Allen nodded slightly to her, his grip on her arm relaxing.
She giggled at him, so different from the melancholy of the night before, and quickly kissed his cheek. "I won't be very long. Just want to indulge him a little. Bye!" and again she left, the rustle of her skirts flowing around her ankles making an odd sort of sound to hear in the barracks of the fort. A moment later, she was gone down the stairs.
Allen smiled softly, pleasantly. He was rather glad Celena was mingling with the others there. It was a good sign. After the event with the highwayman--which he still never spoke of the man's fate to her--he was afraid that the only men she wouldn't find herself wary around were himself, Elden and Gaddes.
A soft click at the door broke through the dark stillness of Allen's bed chambers, indicating the door had been locked. Just as quickly, the key scraped in the lock and was taken out.
Allen tensed slightly, turning his head towards the sound. Gloved fingers curled tightly about the cane in his hands, unseeing eyes narrowing slightly.
Whoever the intruder was, he was a clever sort, and he crouched low to the floor, tilting his head up to throw his voice and make it sound like he was at a taller height. "Thought I'd surprise you," he said evilly.
Allen took a step back, a frown on his lips, heart racing. He had his sword at his side, but it wouldn't do for close quarters like this. The blonde knight stayed silent, though he had a mind to call out to Gaddes. But his friend had likely retired for the night... and his rooms were too far down the hall to hear him.
The soldier had the advantage. He'd already acclimated his night vision for this, having stayed in the darkened room for long enough. By the light of the moon, he could see Allen's face tense in fear - and it gave him such pleasure to know this little whelp was afraid of him. Who was he, to outrank him at such youth - and blind, no less. It was disgusting.
But he was a pretty little noble. No matter how much loathing he had for him, he would use it to the fullest advantage. He was quick, like any good Asturian soldier should be. The man launched himself to Allen, knocking him to the floor and pinning him. One knee on the hilt of Allen's sword made it out of Allen's reach, one hand twisted around Allen's wrist. He squeezed hard, forcing the cane out of his grasp.
Allen had just been about to move out of the way when he was shoved bodily to the ground. He hissed softly as his shoulder hit the wooden floor rather hard, the sensitive, bruised flesh at his back flickering bullets of pain through his nerves. Allen was strong for his build, but even still... he was a swordsman who focused more on finesse than strength. And at such an odd angle, disarmed, and with his injured arm, he had a distinct disadvantage.
For a moment, he was a little dizzy. His head had hit the floor a bit and he was reeling from it. The blonde gritted his teeth tensely, the taut muscles in his lithe frame tensing immensely. He didn't think it would be rape, no. Just something of a beating.
The man quickly pinned Allen's arms above his head, grimly nails digging into pristine pale flesh. He leaned in close, his foul breath emanating strong stench of rum. "You are a pretty one," he seethed into Allen's ear, "Such soft pale skin, like that of a babe."
Allen drew his head back slightly at the words, biting back a groan as his shoulder pulled. Drunk.
Wait, pretty?
Allen tensed, bracing his booted feet on the floor as he tried to pull away somehow, panic flaring.
Pretty. Soft skin... oh gods..
The man didn't have a mind to kiss him, just tear his clothes off. The gauzy poet's shirt ripped easily, one hand working down to the sash at Allen's pants and yanking hard on the loose ties, while the other kept an ungodly firm grip on the noble's wrists on the floor.
"So pretty." he said wickedly, grinning, "And after you, I'll have me self some of the pretty little morsel that calls herself your sister. Pretty little silver haired wench. Too bad you can't see her, but all the better that you won't see her broken body next to yours."
Allen growled softly despite his panic, continuing to struggle against his grip, though it was useless and only managed to make his shoulder begin to throb anew. His wrists hurt from the harsh grip.
"Don't you touch her," he snarled softly.
A fist connected to the knight's jaw easily, even in the dark. "Oh, I will, mate. And there'll be nuthin' you can do about it." With that, he turned Allen violently over, pressing a knee into the small of his back as he harshly pulled down Allen's leather trousers to reveal the smooth white flesh of his buttocks.
Allen reeled at the punch, was hardly aware of him being turned over. The blonde hissed as his shoulder pulled, as he tried to jerk away. But he knew the other man was stronger. The blonde man spit out a spot of blood onto the floor, biting back the whimper that almost slipped from his lips.
"Aw," he said gruffly into Allen's ear, "I don't get a whimper from the poor little babe?" and he laughed manically, quickly working at his own trousers and letting his member dangle. It didn't take much for it to become erect and firm. His arms were freakishly strong and kept Allen pinned down underneath as he straddled the man, though he knew he was still probably dazed from the blow he gave him.
Without so much as a warning, he thrust himself into Allen, stopping a moment for a smirk to come to his lips. "So the noble knight likes his jollies with men? Hardly surprising. Always knew you were a queer." And he continued his movements, in and out, in and out - until it seemed as if it would never end. He enjoyed this too much, indulged in it to end it so soon.
Allen cried out at the rough thrusts, gloved fingers curling tightly at the pain that lanced through him as the man impaled him. His lithe frame shuddered, shivering beneath the treatment, blind eyes squeezed tightly shut as he fought back a sob, tears of frustration and pain brimming in his eyes. Long locks of blonde slipped over his shoulders, pooling about him, hiding the fall of salty tears as they slipped over his cheeks. So young... Allen was still so young...
It had been a long time since he'd taken another man to bed and the muscles were hardly stretched. He shuddered again, the softest whimper falling from his full lips. Shame, pain, frustration... they all blended together roughly, swirling in his mind.
"That's right. Cry, for me, little babe." seethed the man, moving faster, more friction, more heat. He was glad he wasn't taking a virgin's tight arse, but it was still snug enough to find pleasure quickly. Faster, and faster, until finally - he released himself, giving one last shove all the way inside.
The lithe body bucked at the man's rough movements, Allen helpless against the onslaught. Helpless. He'd run into that a lot recently.
Allen crumpled at the man's release, burying his face in his nearby arm to quiet the sobs that threatened. He'd had no chance, none at all. Crying was all he could do, especially to pull his mind away from the pain that seemed to permeate his nerves from everywhere. His body burned and ached and he couldn't help but whimper again, softly as he felt the hot seed slick his bowels.
Finished with his business, he pulled himself out and straightened the waistline of his trousers, tucking in his shirt. He stood and looked down at the noble he'd just taken his pleasure with, grinning. "You look pathetic. Lying there, crying like a little girl." A swift boot connected with Allen's gut.
Allen grunted at the kick, falling hard onto his shoulder and curled a bit, hissing softly at the pain. He had no words to utter, couldn't get anything past the knot in his throat. Allen... had once craved physical affection. But now... now what could he do? He'd been helpless again... pathetic.
Just like the man said, pathetic... his title of a knight was a joke, after all. He was still just a cripple, a helpless young man. Long locks of gold clung to his skin frantically, and he coughed, spitting out blood that slipped into his mouth from where he'd bitten his bottom lip, the tender flesh already swelling slightly.
With a final smirk, the man started walking away, "And tomorrow night, I'll have a piece of your little silver haired angel." Sticking the key into the keyhole, turning slightly, he finished with, "All night long." and left with that, leaving Allen to his sobs on the floor.
Allen curled in on himself, aching shoulders shaking with the soft sobs that wracked his body. He ducked his head, unable to stop the flow of tears that slipped from his eyes.
He had to get away. He had to get rid of the evidence.
But he couldn't. He couldn't move, couldn't bring himself to get up. If he could just lay there...
Celena. He couldn't have her worry. He'd make some excuse for her to be gone tomorrow night, as well. She'd have to be gone. Allen struggled to his feet, haphazardly pulling on his pants, wiping at his eyes with shaking hands. The pristine white of the clothing were smeared with blood from his lips. Aching, hurting, he shuffled towards the door -- how had the man gotten the key to begin with? -- and to the hallway. He should wash the evidence from his body.
Allen shuddered with the thought of being alone. That man could return at any time...
Without a second thought, he ambled towards Gaddes' room quickly, falling heavily against the door. "Gaddes," he croaked out, his throat tight, raw from sobs and crying out. Blood had dried on his puffed bottom lip, a healthy bruise forming at his pretty jaw. He looked a mess, lithe body shaking rather like a leaf, looking distinctly young... and frightened.
It was not even midnight yet, but Gaddes had decided to turn in early after dinner. He'd been laying in his bed, half-naked and content with watching the moons from his bedroom window when he heard his name spoken just outside his door. He couldn't even tell who it was, it'd been so faint and torn. He immediately turned his head at the sound, before deciding it was safe enough to open the door.
The sight that met his eyes put him into near shock. Here before him lay his poor blind friend, his shirt torn open, shaken to the core. There was no thought, no span of time that lingered, as Gaddes quickly pulled Allen inside, practically dragging him before closing the door and locking it. He moved to his friend looking him over.
"Allen, what the hell happened?" He could not hide to absolute shock from his voice, frantically looking him over. "There's blood . . . holy shit, boss."
Allen's legs wouldn't hold him any longer and he slid to his knees, shaking, his head bowed. He could smell it... all over him, he could smell it. So dirty, so used...
"Couldn't do anything," he sobbed softly, pressing his palms to his eyes as the tears started anew, "not a damn thing..."
His shoulder, his body ached and throbbed, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. He didn't know exactly what he was doing here... but Gaddes was the only one he could turn to, right? Celena was off somewhere else, thankfully, and he wouldn't want to burden her with this anyhow, not with what had already happened to her.
Allen's shoulders slumped even more, looking rather pathetic, a shadow of his normal noble, confident self. "So... so scared..."
The first mate of the Crusade was nearly at a loss as it finally dawned on him what had happened to his captain. Such evil fiends residing in their own fort - to do something so horrible to not only their own commander, but a young man who'd faced too many hardships already. Gaddes brought Allen into his arms, finding no other way to be able to comfort his young friend, and hoping that his strong arms around the knight's shaking frame was even remotely enough.
"Allen, it's okay," he found himself whispering into Allen's dampened hair, "It's okay, no one's going to hurt you. I'm the only one here. I'll help you, so don't you worry. I'm right here."
Soiled gloved hands shook as they clenched Gaddes' shoulders, the lanky frame shaking. At first, his instant reaction was to tense, but it was Gaddes. He knew that scent, that warmth. Gaddes wouldn't hurt him. Gaddes wouldn't let him get hurt, not while he was around. Allen explained the occurrence in broken sentences, sobs slipping from his lips.
He'd been so helpless, so unable to do anything. It had been so easy for the man to overpower him.
And when the tears dried and he could cry no more, he still clung to his best friend, frightened to let go, frightened to pull away.
It was near an hour that they stayed there, huddled on the floor, Allen with a vice-like grip on Gaddes. All Gaddes could do for a long period of the time was stroke the knight's back and hair, resting his head upon the golden crown of his friend. Somehow, he was able to get Allen to move, if even a little, so that he might give him a set of clean clothes and wash him up with a wet rag from his water basin.
And Gaddes gave Allen his own bed to sleep on, Gaddes contenting himself with sleeping on the floor. Although, no sleep would come to him as he watched over the knight, who did not sleep either, but merely lay there on the mattress. He did not let go of Allen's hand, sitting up and leaning against the bed.
The morning came, and there was the usual activities of the fort outside, although instead of archery, it was the clashing of swords.
Allen was weary in the morning, as one would expect, and still rather sore all over. He'd stopped shaking, finally, his whimpers and dry sobs falling into silence. But even still, Gaddes was there, nigh too far away. Early in the morning, the blonde slid off the bed to rest beside Gaddes, finding more comfort in that closeness. The touch of his hand assured him that he was not along, that the other was there.
He should have been out there among his soldiers... but he couldn't bring himself to, not like this... he looked horrible, he wouldn't be able to hide the puffed lip or the bruise at his jaw, marring the smooth, creamy curve of his flesh.
Gaddes' touch was ever gentle as he brought his hand up to meet Allen's face, touch his cheek and stroke his hair, "It wasn't your fault." was the first thing he could think of to say.
"I couldn't do anything to stop it," he murmured, shaking his head. "If only... I could see, it wouldn't be like this." That's what it boiled down to, really. If he hadn't been blinded, he would have noticed the other man's presence, likely. He would have been able to fight back easier.
"No," said Gaddes firmly, squeezing the other's man's hand with determined assurance, "You are not at fault, even if you could see, you're not at fault. Take my word for it, my friend."
Allen bowed his head with a heavy sigh. "What did I do to deserve all this? Everything that's happened... what did I do to bring this upon me?" The blonde shuddered slightly, curling his fingers--ungloved, for now--in Gaddes'.
The other man, always so careful with his movement, brought Allen into his arms again, wanting nothing more than to make him feel safe and secure within his embrace - like they had been not so long ago. "I asked myself the same damn questions," he said against the man's sunshine colored hair, "And it took me a really long time to realize that I didn't do anything - that I didn't deserve it. That you don't deserve it and you didn't do anything wrong. Do you understand?"
Allen curled up against the other, shaking his head. "There had to be. Somewhere, something..." It could be explained that way, couldn't it? Why all of a sudden Allen was thrown into a world where he felt helpless... utterly and completely helpless.
"There are so many evil people in the world, Allen," he said softly, sorrowfully, "They don't need a reason to hurt us. They just do. So there was nothing you did wrong to deserve what he did to you. Nothing at all in the world. Because you are a good person - you're the kindest person in the world who never did anything wrong. And I'm here for you. And Celena's here for you. We love you, Allen. You know that. We'll never let anyone hurt you."
Allen tensed a little, then groaned. "Oh... oh, Celena... she can't know. She can't... not after... not after that." Not after what she'd suffered. Allen shook his head, a frown tugging on his lips.
Without Gaddes there, the blonde didn't know what he would have done. He likely would have gotten nowhere, likely would have scrambled back into his room and stayed there, cried alone. But Gaddes gave him comfort when he needed it and then some.
"Okay . . . okay, I won't tell her. I give you my word that she will not hear a word of this." Gaddes pulled back slightly, cupping Allen's face in his hands and giving him a soft kiss on his cheek, in comfort and pure love - nothing more. "I promise."
Allen shivered slightly and nodded a little, unable to help leaning into the comforting touch. He'd known that touch not too long ago, it was familiar and warm. No matter if he could see or not, he'd always know Gaddes from the others. Always.
And that, in itself, was comforting.
With a few more touches of comforts and apologies, Gaddes was sorely sorry that he needed to excuse himself - he had a troop that needed to be led through some exercises. He took his time to get dressed, letting Allen sit on the bed and listen to his movements about the room before finally needing to leave.
"You can stay in here, if you want." he told him, "Unless you want to go back to your room, which is fine too. Just be careful. Lock the door behind you after checking your room, to make sure its safe. If anyone give you problems, you come and tell me." And with a last kiss, he left.
Allen didn't want to leave, really. Especially not with risking someone seeing him in the state he was in. He was paler than usual, still a bit shaken from the past night's endeavors. He stayed where he was for a long while, then stood, wandering idly around the room for a bit before he took up residence on the other's bed. It was comfortable here... far less empty than his own quarters, and everything smelled like Gaddes. He'd have to face Celena later, he couldn't avoid her for the whole day, but that worry would be for later, not right now.
Lulled by the familiar smells of the other man, as well as his own abundant weariness, Allen curled up among the covers and pillows on the bed, his unseeing eyes flickering closed, and slid into a light sleep.