Chapter 39
Lex sat in her room, numb with grief, anger and guilt. If Dorion hadn't reacted instinctively to protect her, he'd still be here, brooding in some dark corner.
She heard the shuffle of feet in the doorway, and looked up to find Sean standing there.
"May I come in?" he asked softly. Lex nodded.
He entered the room slowly, easing himself onto a chair and then looked at her carefully. "So, you're going to take responsibility for Dorion's death now?" he asked, one brow raised.
Lex ran a weary, bandaged hand through her hair. "How can I not? He followed me over there. He jumped in to protect me."
Sean was silent for a moment. "But that's not what's bothering you."
Tears blurred Lex's vision. "He loved me. He died because he loved me. Why couldn't I love him back?"
"You did."
"Not the way he wanted me to," she cried.
"Oh, Lex," Sean sighed. "I'd known Dorion for a long time. Since I was a young boy. And by that time he'd seen so much. Wonderful inventions, of course. Electricity, flight, microwaves, computers. But he'd also seen many atrocities. Plagues, wars, so many deaths."
Sean leaned forward in his chair, his keen eyes alert. "I remember he once told me that the old saying was true; that history did repeat itself. Dates and names changed, but the events had become predictable the world over. Nothing was new."
Lex listened with interest, since Dorion had never spoken of his past. Sean's brow creased in a frown as he continued.
"He'd fought beside Kings, watched dynasties rise and fall, and in the end, he'd become tired. Not his body, but his soul."
"Some people would argue that vampires don't have souls," Lex said softly.
"And I would have agreed with them, had I never known Dorion. His soul may have been lost for a while, but he found it and was all the more noble for it."
Lex bowed her head in grief. "And now it's lost for good."
"No, child. Now it's been set free. Dorion was always torn by his nature. Although he fought for good, he relied on his ... demonic powers, as he referred to them. He hated that intensely. He felt trapped in the life he had, wanting the peace of death, but stayed by taking his own life by his faith. He's not trapped anymore."
"But where is he? Did I send him to Hell? Is that the reward he received for protecting me?"
"I wish I could tell you, but I really don't know. But I take comfort in the hope that his victories and sacrifices over the centuries would weigh in his favour."
Lex nodded slowly, sincerely wishing Sean was right.
"Have you been to see your father yet?" he asked.
"No, Kristen was still working on him."
"Then I suggest you do so."
When Lex replied, it was so softly spoken that Sean almost didn't hear it. "Yeah, to say goodbye."
He frowned. "Whatever for?"
"I can't stay here now, Sean. I can't leave the team now that Dorion is gone."
"So you're going to ignore the gift that he gave you by returning to the team and being miserable?"
"What gift?"
"A second chance. The chance to heal the pain of your childhood. A chance to live, love and learn in happiness. Dorion gave his life for you, so you could be with your father. And Lucas."
Lex gave a watery grin. "Lucas?"
Sean chuckled. "Dorion saw how your eyes, and heart, lit up when you were with Lucas. That's what he wanted for you. I'm not saying he wouldn't have liked it more had you had that reaction to him. But in the end, he just wanted your heart to be full."
Sean stood and pulled Lex to her feet, framing her face tenderly with his hands. "Honour his memory, and his sacrifice, by staying here, and living in happiness."
Lex looked into his eyes ans saw the sincerity shining in them. "I will."
Hudson leaned against the pillows, sighing in frustration. Although the laser shot had only grazed his shoulder, it throbbed mercilessly, and while he'd protested loudly, Kristen had ignored him, insisting on at least one day's bed rest.
He briefly wondered how long the 'rest' would last. He'd been curt and ruthless with the Admiral when he'd called to congratulate him on his success. He'd smashed his fist furiously on the VidPhone, effectively hanging up on his superior. He might be on permanent rest from the Navy after that.
His thoughts drifted back to the minutes following the explosion in the station. Too impatient to wait any longer in the launch, he'd pushed past a protesting Reuban to follow Sean down the smoke filled corridors.
Upon reaching the door, he'd been overcome by an overwhelming sense of guilt and sorrow upon seeing Lex cradling her dead comrade in her arms, her body wracked with gut wrenching sobs. Once again he'd been the root of her pain.
He knew now, that she would never stay, and this time, he would let her go without a fight. He couldn't blame her for her hatred, and would quietly step away as she left.
A tear slid down his cheek when he thought of how far they had come, only to lose his baby daughter all over again.
"Does is hurt that bad?"
Startled, Hudson's eyes flew open at the now familiar voice. "Lex? What are you doing here?"
"Checking up on you. Do you want me to go-"
"No!" Hudson lurched forward to grab her hand before she could leave, falling back to the bed with a hiss of pain when his should protested.
"Careful!" Lex admonished him gently.
"Don't go, Lex. Please!"
"Dad," Lex took his hand, alarmed by the fear and vulnerability she saw in his eyes, "I was just going to get Kristen to give you something for the pain."
"I'm so sorry," he said, his eyes filling with tears.
Lex frowned. "For what?"
"Your friend. You lost him because of me."
"No," Lex shook her head. "That was a personal matter of my own. I had a run in with Nate a long time ago. He just used you as a pawn to try to even up the score with me."
"You're not angry with me?"
"For not letting me go with you in the first place? Yeah. But not for Dorion."
Hudson sighed in relief before his eyes clouded with grief again. "But you're leaving."
Lex looked into her father's eyes. "Do you want me to leave?"
"No!"
Lex couldn't help but smile at the vehemence in his voice. "Well, that's a relief, cuz I hadn't planned on going anywhere."
Hudson's brow cleared and a wide smile creased his face. "So we start over? Again?"
"As best we can," Lex replied with a grin.
Hudson reached up to caress her face lovingly. "I love you so much, Alexandria Jean."
Without a thought, Lex leaned down, her cheek against his. "I love you too, Daddy."
In her room, Wendy raised trembling hands to her face and wept. Tears of the purest joy and contentment.
Lex sat in her room, numb with grief, anger and guilt. If Dorion hadn't reacted instinctively to protect her, he'd still be here, brooding in some dark corner.
She heard the shuffle of feet in the doorway, and looked up to find Sean standing there.
"May I come in?" he asked softly. Lex nodded.
He entered the room slowly, easing himself onto a chair and then looked at her carefully. "So, you're going to take responsibility for Dorion's death now?" he asked, one brow raised.
Lex ran a weary, bandaged hand through her hair. "How can I not? He followed me over there. He jumped in to protect me."
Sean was silent for a moment. "But that's not what's bothering you."
Tears blurred Lex's vision. "He loved me. He died because he loved me. Why couldn't I love him back?"
"You did."
"Not the way he wanted me to," she cried.
"Oh, Lex," Sean sighed. "I'd known Dorion for a long time. Since I was a young boy. And by that time he'd seen so much. Wonderful inventions, of course. Electricity, flight, microwaves, computers. But he'd also seen many atrocities. Plagues, wars, so many deaths."
Sean leaned forward in his chair, his keen eyes alert. "I remember he once told me that the old saying was true; that history did repeat itself. Dates and names changed, but the events had become predictable the world over. Nothing was new."
Lex listened with interest, since Dorion had never spoken of his past. Sean's brow creased in a frown as he continued.
"He'd fought beside Kings, watched dynasties rise and fall, and in the end, he'd become tired. Not his body, but his soul."
"Some people would argue that vampires don't have souls," Lex said softly.
"And I would have agreed with them, had I never known Dorion. His soul may have been lost for a while, but he found it and was all the more noble for it."
Lex bowed her head in grief. "And now it's lost for good."
"No, child. Now it's been set free. Dorion was always torn by his nature. Although he fought for good, he relied on his ... demonic powers, as he referred to them. He hated that intensely. He felt trapped in the life he had, wanting the peace of death, but stayed by taking his own life by his faith. He's not trapped anymore."
"But where is he? Did I send him to Hell? Is that the reward he received for protecting me?"
"I wish I could tell you, but I really don't know. But I take comfort in the hope that his victories and sacrifices over the centuries would weigh in his favour."
Lex nodded slowly, sincerely wishing Sean was right.
"Have you been to see your father yet?" he asked.
"No, Kristen was still working on him."
"Then I suggest you do so."
When Lex replied, it was so softly spoken that Sean almost didn't hear it. "Yeah, to say goodbye."
He frowned. "Whatever for?"
"I can't stay here now, Sean. I can't leave the team now that Dorion is gone."
"So you're going to ignore the gift that he gave you by returning to the team and being miserable?"
"What gift?"
"A second chance. The chance to heal the pain of your childhood. A chance to live, love and learn in happiness. Dorion gave his life for you, so you could be with your father. And Lucas."
Lex gave a watery grin. "Lucas?"
Sean chuckled. "Dorion saw how your eyes, and heart, lit up when you were with Lucas. That's what he wanted for you. I'm not saying he wouldn't have liked it more had you had that reaction to him. But in the end, he just wanted your heart to be full."
Sean stood and pulled Lex to her feet, framing her face tenderly with his hands. "Honour his memory, and his sacrifice, by staying here, and living in happiness."
Lex looked into his eyes ans saw the sincerity shining in them. "I will."
Hudson leaned against the pillows, sighing in frustration. Although the laser shot had only grazed his shoulder, it throbbed mercilessly, and while he'd protested loudly, Kristen had ignored him, insisting on at least one day's bed rest.
He briefly wondered how long the 'rest' would last. He'd been curt and ruthless with the Admiral when he'd called to congratulate him on his success. He'd smashed his fist furiously on the VidPhone, effectively hanging up on his superior. He might be on permanent rest from the Navy after that.
His thoughts drifted back to the minutes following the explosion in the station. Too impatient to wait any longer in the launch, he'd pushed past a protesting Reuban to follow Sean down the smoke filled corridors.
Upon reaching the door, he'd been overcome by an overwhelming sense of guilt and sorrow upon seeing Lex cradling her dead comrade in her arms, her body wracked with gut wrenching sobs. Once again he'd been the root of her pain.
He knew now, that she would never stay, and this time, he would let her go without a fight. He couldn't blame her for her hatred, and would quietly step away as she left.
A tear slid down his cheek when he thought of how far they had come, only to lose his baby daughter all over again.
"Does is hurt that bad?"
Startled, Hudson's eyes flew open at the now familiar voice. "Lex? What are you doing here?"
"Checking up on you. Do you want me to go-"
"No!" Hudson lurched forward to grab her hand before she could leave, falling back to the bed with a hiss of pain when his should protested.
"Careful!" Lex admonished him gently.
"Don't go, Lex. Please!"
"Dad," Lex took his hand, alarmed by the fear and vulnerability she saw in his eyes, "I was just going to get Kristen to give you something for the pain."
"I'm so sorry," he said, his eyes filling with tears.
Lex frowned. "For what?"
"Your friend. You lost him because of me."
"No," Lex shook her head. "That was a personal matter of my own. I had a run in with Nate a long time ago. He just used you as a pawn to try to even up the score with me."
"You're not angry with me?"
"For not letting me go with you in the first place? Yeah. But not for Dorion."
Hudson sighed in relief before his eyes clouded with grief again. "But you're leaving."
Lex looked into her father's eyes. "Do you want me to leave?"
"No!"
Lex couldn't help but smile at the vehemence in his voice. "Well, that's a relief, cuz I hadn't planned on going anywhere."
Hudson's brow cleared and a wide smile creased his face. "So we start over? Again?"
"As best we can," Lex replied with a grin.
Hudson reached up to caress her face lovingly. "I love you so much, Alexandria Jean."
Without a thought, Lex leaned down, her cheek against his. "I love you too, Daddy."
In her room, Wendy raised trembling hands to her face and wept. Tears of the purest joy and contentment.