Darkness in the Twilight
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By Psycho Ferret and LunarCrystal
Killing Frost
Turning through the halls, he moved quietly up a flight of stairs he knew well enough from when he'd first come here. He'd go up the ladder he was pulling himself up now... and he'd sit on the railing and stare at the stars. And Gaddes, when it grew late, would come up and they would talk and then he'd usher Allen off to bed.
Comfort in memories.
Allen sighed, bowing his head against the railing.
Maybe she was right. A gentleman wouldn't find such... pleasure in vengeance.
From behind Allen, a pair of strong hands draped a heavy woolen cloak over the knight's shoulders. It was Gaddes, of course - coming up early that morning after the events that transpired in the courtyard. He had dismissed his troop of their exercises for the time being, while he went to search for Allen - the cloak in tow, just in case his hunch proved correct.
And it did. "I didn't think you'd ever come up here again." he said gently.
Allen sighed softly, shaking his head a little. "I didn't either. But... it's comfortable here," he murmured softly, forehead against the railing still. Allen was silent for a long moment before another soft sigh slipped from his lips.
"Maybe she's right... I only pretend to be a gentleman. After all that's happened, I couldn't be one, could I? A gentleman wouldn't find pleasure in killing that man. But... I did. As morbid and sadistic and disturbing it might have been, I did." The blonde tugged the cloak close about him, straightening after a moment.
"Did Celena tell you that you're not a gentlemen?" Gaddes was rather surprised that the gentle young girl could even say something so harsh to her brother.
"I apologized for dragging her into that. She was shaken by it, you know... and then she told me that she wasn't a lady... any more than I'm a gentleman. That we're the same, all because of, well... you know. She said we were just fooling ourselves. And maybe we are."
"Allen," said the soldier sadly, shaking his head and coming up next to his friend. He placed his hand on the man's arm gently, reassuring. "You and Celena are the two most refined, most gentle people anyone on Gaea could ever know. Nobility or not - it doesn't matter. There are few people, if anyone, who are deserving of your companionship and care. You both went through something horrible - and I can honestly sympathize. You know that. But something like that would never take away who you are, because both of you are strong. You have always been a gentleman, just as she has always been a lady."
"How can I be sure I'm not just trying to hide who I really am? I enjoyed that down there, Gaddes. It's like I've learned nothing from the war with Zaibach." Allen shook his head slightly, leaning a little against the man. They'd had conversations like this before, hadn't they? Only... far less traumatic, really.
"When was the last time we were up here like this?" The blonde breathed the question softly, a faint smile on his lips. "We'd end up talking about some of the most stupid things sometimes." Allen motioned with a faint motion of his hand. "The chairs would be there and you'd sit there with your arm on the railing and we'd chatter on about how stupid philosophers were and how big the alligators and mosquitoes are out here."
Gaddes laughed slightly at the change of subject, enjoying the memories. Breaking his contact from the knight, who continued to stand and stare into nothing, he went over to pull the two chairs out from the shadows in the corner. "The chairs are still here," he said, "Well, by that I mean I made sure there were chairs after rebuilding."
Allen blinked, turning his head towards him. The blonde smiled softly.
"Did you ever expect me to return? To be stationed out here again?" Did you want me to be stationed here again? was the question he wanted to ask, but he couldn't. No matter how much he loved Celena, there was still that special place for Gaddes. He couldn't love anyone enough to shove him out of his heart.
"I -- uh --- I guess you could say that," he answered bashfully, always scratching his head when he got embarrassed. "It was a shot in the dark -- uh -- no offense . . . but I just figured you might at least visit, I guess."
"I remember after I'd gotten over being that horrible mess I was for so long... sometimes thinking about coming back. But I couldn't, not then ... I wasn't part of any military then. And when I'd been inducted back into the Knighthood, I kept hoping to be stationed here, even if it is the middle of nowhere."
"I think the rest of the guys hoped you might have come back too. All of them requested to be stationed here. It was a fluke that I was assigned a sergeant position in Fort Castelo. I'm sure you could imagine my surprise when I found the crew here, and then finally when you came." he chuckled, scooting the chairs close the railing.
Allen smiled a bit, sliding into the chair, the second on, further away from the railing like he had before. "It hurt, really... to think of possibly never getting to come back here. Even if I can't see it with my eyes, I still remember it as clearly as if I could. It's... where I feel right. Not in the manor, but here, with all of you."
"The guys and I were all happy to have you back, Allen. But the manor is your home." He smiled, sitting across from his friend and touching his arm again, "Still, we're glad you've come back. If just for not getting a stuffy veteran in your place."
Allen chuckled a little. "Home is where you feel most comfortable... and that's here. For all the part of the gentleman I might play, servants constantly waiting on me, doing everything for me... it just doesn't feel right. There, I have to play a part. But here, around all of you, I can be myself without fear. All of you know who I really am."
Celena was a different story. He wasn't sure she knew, just as he wasn't completely sure about her, either.
"Well, Allen," began Gaddes, as if reading his friend's mind, "What about Celena? You say this is your home, but is she comfortable living here? Willing to live here for long periods of time? I mean, you know we're all glad to have you here - and your sister. But have you thought about what to do with her while she's here?"
"I've no idea. I know it's horribly unfair to her, but I can't just leave here. I've been stationed here, I have duties here... she knows that she's welcome to leave if it suits her. Though, admittedly... I wouldn't want her to."
"Of course, I wouldn't want her to either. If for nothing else than to keep her safe within the castle walls." Gaddes studied his friend's face, trying to look past his heart breaking vacant gaze. His mouth was set, slightly down turned, the brow furrowed ever so slightly. Gaddes sighed and looked up at the dreary winter sky.
"It's an ugly day today. With this kind of weather, It'll probably snow tonight."
"I wouldn't be surprised, what with how chilly it is." For a moment, thoughts of Celena brought back those bitter words and anger and offense rose within him. How could she think such a thing--much less say it--when she knew how much such vain things mattered to him? It was all, really, he'd aspired to be. A proper gentleman, but he hadn't even done that right.
And after that, as the anger faded, he was left with that longing. She was his sister, sure, but he hadn't been raised alongside her, really. She had been gone so long...
To him, she was almost a stranger, though he knew her better than any other still living.
"What's the matter, boss?" asked Gaddes quietly, "You got this far away look - like you're thinking about something deep."
"Mm? Oh... just Celena." He sighed softly, shaking his head a little.
"Ah. Listen, I'm sure she's just feeling a little snubbed right now. I'm guessing that's why she said what she did. You know? She's just upset at you for ignoring her." And under his breath he added, "It's beyond me why she would, though."
"I wish she would understand... I don't deal with things the way she does. She wanted my comfort, but all I could think of was how dirty I'd been and how much I didn't want to soil her with it. And... you saw how she reacted when she found out. She can't picture anything like that happening to me, I'm supposed to be strong for her. And if... if I'd let her comfort me, I'd just end up crying, like I did with you."
"Crying is natural. We all cry." He took his hand and squeezed it, "Your sister cares for you, and I know that for a fact. Otherwise, I don't think she would have called you to her after it happened to her. When I saw her with you yesterday - the look on her face." And he went quiet for a moment, "Anyway . . . you know what I mean."
Allen lifted his head a little. "What look?" He couldn't have seen it, no. But he was sure it wasn't good. He'd probably hurt her again. Allen almost panicked. He kept doing that...
"Well," he took a breath, "It was not unlike the look you had on your face when you found out what happened to her in the forest. The same look when you went to her and held her. . . I - I think she was already prepared to be your strength, like you had been for her."
Allen nodded slightly, sighing a little. "Well, you know it better than she does... I just have a hard time letting go. I have such high standards for myself and if I can't keep them, then I just... well, you know all about that. Maybe it's from growing up the way I did, I don't know."
Taking it all in, Gaddes carefully thought about the events as they happened. How his friend sought no comfort from his horrors but gave comfort readily when his sister needed it. Celena on the other hand, tried to mimic her brother, at which point she was quickly pushed aside. Gaddes sighed heavily. They were beautiful people, yes – anyone would admit it. But by Jechia, did this family have issues. And here he was, Allen's second in command, having to sort it out. He loved his friend, but he would readily admit how frustrating it was if ever asked.
He looked to Allen again. The man was not the same, sitting there in his usual loose attire of cotton and leather, cloaked in the woolen mantle Gaddes had draped over him. His head was slightly bowed, his sightless eyes half closed and hidden behind thick locks of golden hair. His demeanor around people had changed as well – still tall, still commanding. A new person would speak and his head would turn toward it in surprise, his hands would be kept nearer to his body as if afraid to come into contact with someone by accident. It was just different – to look at someone who can't see you, can't see the chair they sit in, or the world around them.
It took Gaddes looking into himself and his own feelings. How he felt when he'd found Allen leaning on his door after surviving a monster, taken him in, soothed away his fears. Celena – that's all she wanted to do too. It was a big complicated game of life that the young sergeant didn't think he had the mental capacity to successfully work out. He just knew something at that moment, and acted on it, hoping that some god out there would keep it from backlashing violently.
Gaddes clasped Allen's hand. "Allen, she loves you. There's no two ways about it. You can't push her aside, because if you do, the only thing she'll want to do is what you're doing to yourself. My point is, you need each other. After so long, so much time, so many heart aches and tragedies without someone like her there for you – without your family to love you. . . the time comes when something horrible happens and you do have that family there for you. . . but for what? To cast them off because you feel unworthy?
And how did Celena felt when she was violently taken by that animal? Do you suppose she felt unworthy of you? And did she cast you aside? I'm only telling you this because I fear for the consequences of your actions – while I'm well aware that you would take the full responsibility of them – I do not want to see you lose that last part of your family that you so strived to have returned to you."
Allen listened to his friend, as he always did, picking the words out carefully. It was actually rather nice that it was put out before him so, especially by Gaddes. The blonde sighed a little, inclining his head. "I can't not do it, though. It's my natural reaction. I don't want to burden her with these things, she doesn't need to be troubled with them.
I know I should realize that mind that she wants it, but... I cannot. I can't bring myself to, and I know it's a horrible thing. It's like I can't trust her... or that's almost what it seems like, but it's the complete opposite. I don't want to lose her, but... even if we know each other rather well, there are still things we have to learn. I won't say only here... there are plenty of things I must learn about her, as well. We don't react the same way towards occurrences... and shamefully I will admit because I put far more value in pride and honor and such things than she does."
"Right - because you're a gentleman," Gaddes sounded defeated, as if his own words would make no difference in the end. Of course, he'd been selfish to think that he could make a difference. Despite all the time he spends trying to sort out the issues the siblings have, it all comes down to solving their own problems. It's just something they have to go through on their own. So with that in mind, Gaddes tactfully changes the subject.
"The troops ought to be careful in the winter," he said. "It snows around these forests, but its so moist on the ground that it freezes. I guess we'll need to find a replacement sergeant." He sighed, and stood up. "I need to get back to my duties. Since you're still settling in, I don't think anyone will mind if you stay here for a bit."
Allen turned his head towards Gaddes and nodded slightly, but stood. "I've indulged in my time up here. There are duties I must attend to as well." Namely, his sister.
The blonde rested a hand on his friend's shoulder with a soft sigh. "Thank you... I always appreciate what you do for me, and I appreciate this even more."
Darkness. Black as pitch, descended over Celena's heart. Not unlike the way it had fallen over her brother's eyes. The feeling in her stomach was as if her gut were carved out, leaving her empty. There was nothing she could do, and another piece of her fell. She had been used, another part of her fades. Unwanted, and the glow in her sapphire orbs dim to nothing. Her legs moved without her knowledge, numb from the cold and unrelenting wind. Hollow could not even begin to describe how this poor innocent youth felt. A girl thrown into such tragedy, a walking shell of a person once so filled with beauty and wistfulness.
Allen didn't need her, didn't want her touch or comfort. He had been violated, just as she had. Now he felt what she did. He felt dirty, she supposed. Because she felt dirty. Used, beaten, and now left torn and ugly. Her own brother couldn't stand to be near her, much less seek her comfort. The very fabric of her thoughts felt heavy in her head, making it bow. No tears, no. No more tears could possibly form in her eyes – not with this emptiness inside of her. Some horrible, malicious creature was eating away at her insides, twisting them, gnawing at them. She carried this creature around like a parasite – unaware that it had always been there, waiting. It wanted to eat her, to take her, to tear at her heart. Now it got it's chance.
Celena was only vaguely aware of her surroundings. Somehow she'd managed to get out here in the forests. Somehow she'd remembered to bring a flimsy cotton shawl to cover her shoulders from the winter's frost bite. The layers were too few for her frail body, but she did not notice herself shivering, or her jaw clenched from pain. Her feet dragged on along the frozen ground, and occasionally her eyes would wander and stare at them as they moved so slowly across the path. She was sore. She was following something – the sound of a river.
There was a river behind the fort, and a waterfall. Through the trees and growth, she could hear the clashing of the water as it flowed over rock in white swirls of foam. She was staring at the ground, at her feet, as she walked and then the edge came into view. She had found the river, deep in the forest behind the castle. How long had she been walking? Numbly, she looked up and was barely able to make out the fort walls – quite a distance away from where she now stood. Her mind reeled for a moment. Then she calmed and sat by the river.
Her hand moved over the water, a slender finger pushing through the swirling surface before being pulled back, clutched to her chest. The water was freezing.
Allen had gone about what duties he'd found for himself and planned on finding Celena out later. Dinner time came and passed... and still there was no sign of his sister. He felt panic grow in his stomach, asking around if any of the soldiers had seen her. One of the faceless new soldiers there mentioned seeing her leaving the fort earlier.
"The swamp," Allen murmured, terrified at the prospect of her wandering out there. "She couldn't be that... naive." Again, Allen made rounds of the fort. He'd kept to his promise to Gaddes and Celena both that he'd start using the cane and, honestly, it did make things a bit easier. Tugging his cloak closely about him, he ignored Riden's complaint at him going out--into the swamps no less--alone, and pushed to the outside. The chill there was terrible, really, but he didn't care. If he could see, he could track her, perhaps... or if he had a dog...
The owl. If only he'd been with him still.
Allen sighed, shaking his head. Hopefully she'd at least stay to the trails. And thus, he set off. He'd kept it quiet from Gaddes... there wasn't any sense in having him come out here, as well. Mucky creeks soiled the fine leather of his boots, but he didn't much care. If she was out there...
She didn't have a sword, likely. What if bandits attacked her? What if she got snagged by an alligator?
The waterfall was in the back of his mind, forgotten.
It grew colder in the evening, of course. But Celena had fallen asleep by the river bank. Not necessarily feeling safe, but she was in no danger - except from the cold. No creature stirred in these waters so close to the cliff. She had looked at it and saw it was but 50 yards away . . . many steps for her Allen if she had had to judge the distance for him. But he was not there, no. The ground was cold, the cotton over her made a blanket of sorts but did not keep her very warm.
She was dressed in wool, attire made for winter, but still she felt cold. She awoke when she heard approaching foot steps, but she did not move. She lay with her head on her arm, staring into the water as the light slowly left the skies. It would not take long, and she could not be bothered with her brother's own turmoil. She was of no use anymore. It was not selfish, what she had whirling through her mind - this was a favor.
Allen was frustrated. He sloshed deeper into the swamps, panic still fluttering in his heart. "Celena, what were you thinking?" He was cold, the numbing chill of the swamp water soaking into his clothes and his skin as well. Like this, the cloak did nothing, but he didn't pull it off. There were several times he almost tripped, almost crashed into the mucky water.
He tracked his way back out of the swamp, plopping down, shivering violently just at the edge of it. He didn't know what to do. Calling out to her had done nothing, all his searching left her still unfound. "D - Damn it," he muttered, teeth chattering, "why'd you have to go out like this?"
"The water is very cold." said a hoarse whisper from beside him.
The blonde started a bit, stumbling to his feet and turning on his heel towards the voice. He shivered beneath the heavy cloak, one hand on his sword hilt. "...It's winter..."
"The water's cold in winter," she whispered.
"...Celena, come here." Allen held his hand out, the white glove soiled with mud and dirt.
There was no indication that Celena had heard him. No rustle of her movement, no change in the direction of her voice. She was facing the river's edge, laying on the ground, knowing he was there and waiting for her. She had no mind to go to him. She could barely feel her own body, and hardly managed to speak.
"I read - in a book . . . cold water can kill you." she added, "The river is about 1 or 2 centigrade. . . two minutes. Just two minutes. . ."
Allen tensed. "What are you talking about Celena?"
"Two minutes," she whispered, "and you die - from cold."
"Celena," Allen murmured, rather... frightened. What was she talking about? Why, all of a sudden...? "Celena, come on. It's cold and I've been wandering around trying to find you all night. Let's just get back inside."
The splash sounded like thunder to her ears, clashing against the currents like cymbals. The water pierced her, and under the biting water, she screamed - but it only lasted for a few seconds before she started shutting down, feeling herself dragged along the water. Her back at the misfortune to hit a rock, but she was so numb, she felt nothing of the impact. Just a hard jarring of her body hitting something solid and throwing her head forward. It pushed her on that boulder, the flow of water engulfing her and wrapping her it it's killing frost.
"Celena!" Allen cursed, padding to the water's edge. What could he do? He couldn't do anything... he couldn't see her, couldn't gauge the currents. The blonde frowned, pulling off the cloak. It would weight him down in the water... not that he'd be able to do much of anything anyway. Already numb from the cold, Allen began to wade carefully into the river, keeping a tight hold on a root that stuck out. "Celena, please," he whimpered softly, holding out his other hand.
Head bowed, her legs were the first to die. The current was steady upon her thin body, pressing her, shoving her up against the boulder. The cries from . . . someone nearby . . . they were so distorted, her eyes closed. She heard almost nothing above the din of the river, and even that was starting to grow quieter. All the warmth in her body left her, like it was crawling away to burrow deep insider her and seek shelter in the one remaining place it could . . . but her middle would soon die too, causing her heart to stop.
Her arms were lifeless now, and floated above the currents of their own volition, like driftwood. Not too long, now. Every part of her body was quickly deserting her . . .
Tears brimmed in his unseeing eyes. He couldn't let go of the root or else both of them would get tugged away. His legs were already faltering, numb in the cold water. "Please," he whispered, his voice shaking... though from the cold of his own fear and sorrow, he couldn't tell.
"Please, just... don't leave me, too..."
Allen shuddered, grasping about in the water for any brush of her hand, a skirt, anything. But she was too far away and he couldn't go out any further into the water. Cursing his blindness, cursing his weakness... it was him that drove her to this, wasn't it?
"Celena," he sobbed, his feet slipping in the muddy ground they stood on, almost losing his hold on the root in his hand, "Please don't do this..."
Celena finally lost to the darkness, her body slipping underneath the water. She was pushed off the boulder, unaware to her that her body touched the desperate and outstretched hand of her brother.
Feeling the brush of her waist, Allen snatched at the wet cloth and yanked her towards him. She was always so frail, so thin, the added weight of the water hardly mattered to his numb limbs. Shoving her onto the bank behind him, Allen drug himself out, feeling about frantically for the cloak. He pulled her close, wrapping them both in the cloak.
He shivered, her cold body pulled against his.
It took him a moment to realize that she... was too cold, too stiff. Tears slipped over his cheeks, a sob slipping from his lips. It was hard to tell if she was breathing at all. His arms tensed around her and he hunched over, burying his face in her wet, cold hair. Oh gods...
"Don't take her, too," he sobbed, holding her impossibly close, his body shivering from cold and sorrow that wormed it's way through his nerves.
"Why, Celena...? Why did you...?"
Riden had told his ship mates about Allen's panicked search for his sister, figuring that it was her he searched for since she hadn't shown up to dinner. Gaddes berated the smaller man only a little, for letting Allen and Celena go out side of the fort walls - by themselves, he pointed out.
"He left an hour ago, Gaddes. I didn't think anything of it! He was just looking for his sister!" defended Riden.
"He's blind, in case you missed it. He might be good with a sword, but he's not invincible. Just - shit - gather the crew . . . just the crew and send them out with lanterns. Armed." was what Gaddes had ordered.
The lights of the lanterns blinked in and out in the forest, floating in the dark like fireflies. The crew was split up into teams, dressed warmly to keep out the chill. Kio was quickly following the trail, and somehow got split up from Riden who was following the river instead. It was he who came across Allen.
His short little legs ran to him as fast as he could go, sliding to a stop just next to his commander - who was bent over . . . no, not Celena!
"Boss! Boss!" he shook the man's shoulder, taking off his own cloak and throwing it around him. "What happened to Celena? What happened?"
Allen was shaking uncontrollably, hugging her tightly to him. He was sobbing, crying, uncaring of the numbness that had quickly fingered its way through his body. He found no shame in it, sobbing over her still body, whispering brokenly for her to wake. He kept asking it... why? Why her? Why his family? Why did everyone eventually leave him?
It was his fault... he kept apologizing, softly to her, but she couldn't hear it, could she?
"No... please, no..."
Riden was panicked, but he had to help his commander. The sweet little lady couldn't be dead, she couldn't! The knight, his commander, couldn't be crying over her dead body yet - she was too young. The events of that day might have been too much but . . . he looked toward the river, feeling the freezing wind and only assumed she fell in some how. Hypothermia. A couple minutes in that water could have killed her. But Allen might have gotten her out in time. There was no way to tell. Not unless he looked at Celena himself.
The little soldier took control, which was very unlike him. But if there was any chance - any at all. . .
"Boss, let me look at her!" he said, trying to pry away Allen's arm, to hear her breathe or her heart beat. To save her life, if he could - since Allen was not helping her by sobbing.
Numbed limbs proved to be no trouble in prying away, though an anguished little sob slipped from his lips. She was being taken away again, wasn't she? All because of him. All because he couldn't save her, because he'd hurt her. Allen clutched his arms to his chest, narrow shoulders shuddering beneath the cloak. It was a miracle he, himself, wasn't ill or worse. Evidence of his trek through the swamp still lingered, though most of it had been washed away by the rippling currents of the river.
Riden took Celena in his arms, quickly looking over her. He put his ear to her nose and mouth - but couldn't hear anything. Cursing, he ripped at her sopping woolen dress, opening her front and trying hard not to be embarrassed by her cold bosom. He pressed his ear to her chest, hard, listening - hoping.
She wasn't drowned, so there was no water in her lungs. She was just so cold . . . it was hard to tell if her heart still drummed within her breast. He closed his eyes, trying to still his own beating heart to be able to hear passed the blood rushing in his ears. . .
It was faint. But it was there.
"She's alive!" Riden announced, quickly stripping her of her clothes until she was naked. He snatched the coat from Allen's shoulder's that he'd given him, thinking that he'll apologize for it later, and wrapped her naked body in the dry cloak.
Grief scrambled Allen's brain and refused to admit Riden's words into the mess of thoughts that swirled there. Allen didn't seem to hear the other's words, didn't seem to notice the coat drawn away.
He still shook, both from the cold wetness that soaked through his clothes to his skin as well as the emotional despair that rained down upon him mercilessly. It was his fault she'd slipped into the river. It was his fault, all of it... he'd hurt her too deeply, he'd caused her too much pain. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Fingers covered in gloves that did nothing but hold the cold water against his skin curled stiffly in the flimsy, soaking shirt he wore, his chest wracked with hard sobs.
"Boss!" yelled Riden, trying to pick up the girl. His specialty was bombing and sabotage - traps, tunnels. He had no strength in his arms to carry a full grown girl. He fell each time he tried to lift her, grunting and straining and accidentally letting her drop once as he slipped on the muddy ground. "Boss, I can't lift her. We need to get her back to the fort!" He looked over to Allen, who did not seem to be paying attention to anything he was saying - who couldn't see him struggling.
Working quickly, he had to leave her back on the ground so that he can shake Allen's shoulder and literally shove him to her cold body.
"Pick her up!" he cried desperately, "Do it! Save her!"
But Allen's limbs had long since gone numb and he could hardly stand himself, partially because of the cold, and then because of the shaking that wracked his lithe frame at the grief he endured. If she died, it would be his fault. If she died... he didn't know what he'd do.
The blonde bowed his fore head against her cloaked shoulder, unseeing eyes closed as his tears tracked warm dampness over his cheeks.
"Kio!" Riden called out, "Kio! Over here!" He looked around for the big man - he was the biggest of all of them, the strongest - just not the most graceful. Kio came bounding through the undergrowth, breaking vines and pushing back the brush with every footstep. He carried the lantern, and as soon as the three of them came into view, he ran to them. Shoving the lantern into Riden's hand, he took the girl in his arms as if she weighed nothing.
Riden grabbed Allen's cane which had been dropped on the ground, and pulled hard on the knight's arm. Kio was already running back to the castle with the girl in tow.
Allen stumbled to his feet, though could hardly hold his stance. The only way he made it back was with Riden's continuous aid. He kept blaming himself, over and over and over.
He looked an utter mess. Mud and swampy water from his earlier escapade matted in the long blonde locks, the folds of the fine cloak, smeared against his shirt and gloves. He was shaking horribly, his legs giving out from under him over and over, the expensive leather boots slipping in their wetness on the ground. Utterly grieved, he was painfully opposite the man he had been that morning. Pride and shame were pushed aside, his vanity unheeded for now.
All his fault...
The soldiers were called back to the fort by bell tolls in the castle towers. When they heard what happened to the young girl they'd grown so fond of over the time she'd spent there, all of them were begrieved and worried. Kio doted as much as he was allowed to before Gaddes took over and ordered blankets to be brought. But he needed Allen to bring her back to a normal temperature.
As the crew members covered Celena in blankets - tactfully averting their eyes since she was very much naked beneath them - Gaddes went and found Allen. He took the man by the shoulders firmly.
"You listen to me," he seethed, angry at him sitting there, feeling guilty. "You need to be in there with her. You have to warm her up or she won't survive. You know how to treat hypothermia - and you're her brother. You need to do it."
Allen turned his head towards his friend, still shaking from cold even after he'd been shoved into dry clothes. He was tired and cold and guilty, but somehow hearing Gaddes say it so straight out, so... angrily--he'd mope over that later--made him nod in the slightest. He couldn't stand very well, he'd likely fall ill himself sooner or later, though nothing as severe as hypothermia, likely.
How could he warm her when he, himself, was so cold? His flesh was chilled, goose bumps raising on the pale flesh. But he didn't argue, if only to keep Gaddes from betting so irate at him. He couldn't remember when the brunette had ever been so.
"Come on," Gaddes said, taking the man roughly into Celena's room where she was being doted on by most of the men. "Out! Everyone, get out!"
The soldiers jumped at his tone, but shuffled out quickly none the less, until Riden who took up the rear closed the door behind him. Gaddes started by helping Allen out of his clothes. "I don't care if you feel guilty - I don't care what you think. I know you won't let her die. I won't let you give up on her."
Allen shook even more as he was nudged to the bed, naked, the chill air biting against his flesh. What did he expect him to do? He felt no warmth in him. If he could only see her...
The blonde pulled his cold sister to him, not knowing what else to do. It hadn't helped before, either... but it was all he could think of.
Gaddes piled on the thick blankets, until it was a small hill of wool that covered the siblings. Out of frustration, he sighed, kneeling down to give his sightless friend one last touch of reassurance.
"Just stay there for a while. You'll both warm each other this way. You need it too, Allen. You know that. Just don't let her go."
He wouldn't. Allen didn't say anything, holding her to him, unable to do much else. It wouldn't be good for him to rest, probably, to sleep... but he felt so weary, so exhausted. Head resting against the pillows, Allen was silent, unseeing, shaking.
The passage of time went unheeded in such darkness. Gaddes had left them alone, feeling it was their time and not appropriate to impede. It seemed like hours went by, before Celena took a shuddering, shallow breath. It wheezed horribly, and she began to shake violently in Allen's arm. While at one moment there was stillness, the next her body was wracked with trembles and she coughed, unable to breathe.
Allen had slipped into an unwanted sleep, shivers still running through his body. But even still, he lay close to her, his arms around her. His flesh was warm, hot even, fair cheeks flushed with a bit of what they would later out figure out was a fever. He was silent, but for the soft breathing beside her.