I was a 34-year-old man named Ted Tadley. And one day my biggest Idol and wet dream, Dream started a Let's play of Adventure Quest. I got super excited, and my dick was hard. Just then middle of him doing that dumb Zard quest he played his stupid mask song. you know the one with the hideous CGI. When I heard this song, the jizz in my sack shot out my pants! And Infront of my eyes formed into a full-fledged human jizz being and this homunculus swiped my phone away and broke it. Then devolved back into a messy pile of spunk on the carpet. And my aunt walked in, and she thought I mastah-baited all over the living room and while at first, she was kind of aroused. She quickly got angry and now I'm in a Mental hospital. Awaiting my court hearing. The mean angry nurses in the mental hospital then told me I'll get the death penalty. I just took a long drag of a cigarette and said "Good, ill never see you again you cunt" The nurses got angrier at my smug face, and they blew a dog whistle. Then suddenly a bunch of mental patients came shambling in, presuming to beat me up again. I had to act fast, I then whipped out a old car seat belt i had smuggled in earlier and had baking under the sun so the metal buckle gets hot. Then i swung the car seat belt clean in the air and the sunbaked metal buckle smacked one of the limping mongoloids in the face, burning and knocking them out cold. The nurses then freaked out of my R/ninja skills. They ran out the room and shouted something in the intercom. Telling all the mental patients that me. Ted Tadley stole their favorite dinosaur toy and suddenly every mongoloid shrieked in anger. I was done for i said. Then i remembered the emergency exit and knew if i set it off not only i can escape but also the sirens will stun the shambling brutes in their place. I Naruto ran down the hall. Avoiding the nurse's net guns they use to catch the patients and swiftly head shotting the mongoloids with my seat belt. I see the red exit sign. Close i was! But before i stopped to push some quarters into a vending machine to get a can of Mountain Dew soda. The nurses and mongoloids stopped behind me and politely let me get my beverage in peace. After drinking it I tossed the can down the hallway and pissed on the wall. Then started running and the chase resumed. close to the door i did a kickass Flying Eastern dragon kick! Which was more than enough to launch the door open. I was now outside and behind me the emergency door sirens went off and i looked back and according to plan. The mongoloids went berserk and slaughtered all the nurses and created their own dystopian society in the hospital. Like the upstanding Citizen I was, I headed to the courthouse to be present to my trail. There i saw the most handsome of man. He was my court case's Judge. I sat in the Plaintiff's booth. He had beautiful hair and smelt like almonds. I had a wicked boner. He then told the room to rise, i stood up with my bulge bonking on the table. He saw it and blushed. He told the room to be seated. I sat down he then wore a mask. Holy fuck! Its Dream! Dream is my judge! I was so happy. He sentenced me the death penalty. Last time anyone saw me i was jacking off desperately before my beheading... ISIS style!