Three Guy's, Two Girl's, and a…..Baby?! By Animegirl
Disclaimer: No. . . . .I WANT REMMY AND SIRI!
Dedication: smile to all the wonderful people who reviewed my story.
A/N: Thanks to those who reviewed! Enjoy the chapter!
blah = thoughts
[blah] = thoughts inside of thoughts
blah = things that don't normally have voice, Mirrors, Hats, ect.
(A/N: ) = ME!
Chapter 6- Insane laughter
=Continued Flashback=
-A leopard print dress that came to about mid-thigh. He was also wearing a large white boa, red lipstick, black high-heels, and had his hair in mini braids. He stalked down the stairs, walked up to Suki, sputtered for about 2 minutes, stomped his foot, and walked away through the laughing crowd.
=End Flashback=
Everyone was silent for a whole minute as Remus finished (except for Suki, who was on the floor laughing her head off) telling the story. Harry was the first to speak.
"P-padfoot? You wore a what with whats to a what???"
"A leopard print dress with a white boa, red lipstick, black high-heels, and had my hair in mini braids at Suki's parents' party." Sirius recited miserably
"Somebody take Marie! I'm going down!" Lily gasped between laughs
Remus had just enough time to grab Marie before Lily hit the floor next to Suki. James was chuckling and shaking his head, Harry was crying he was laughing so hard, and Remus had a very amused smile on his face.
"Your job is to make my life miserable isn't it?" Sirius groaned with his face in his hands
"Yes it is," Remus said cheerfully "However, now that we have YOUR embarrassing story out in the open, how about a story about Harry? Suki and I weren't around very much when he was little."
"Sure!" Said Sirius perking up immediately "What one to tell though?"
Harry glared at Remus "Moooonnnyyyyy! Why did you have to do that!? I've heard some of these stories! They are not things I want other people to know about!"
"Yes Harry, but Suki and I don't care. Do we Suki?"
"Hell no!"
Remus chuckled and turned to Sirius "Thought of the perfect story yet, Padfoot?"
A slow grin formed on Sirius' mouth "Oh yea. I've got the perfect one. James? Do you remember the time we were at Hogwarts with Harry and Lily to see Dumbledore? When he was 4?"
James looked puzzled for a minute then grinned "Yes. I think I do. School was in session right?" Sirius nodded "Then yes, I know the time you mean. That's perfect!"
Sirius' grin grew wider "I thought so. So. . . where should I start? Ah yes, It was about 2 weeks after Christmas. I had given Harry an extremely cute present . . ."
=Flashback=
"Sirius!" A very annoyed Lily Potter yelled "I can't BELIEVE you got Harry a Leather Jacket! He refuses to take it off!"
"That's a boy Harry! You show your mum just how much you LOVE that jacket!"
4 year old Harry Potter grinned up at his godfather "Yesh Padfoot!"
Lily groaned "Paaaaddddfffootttt!! Your not helping!" She glared at him again "What else have you been teaching my son?"
"Nothing Lily-poo! I haven't taught you son a thing! Prongs son on the other hand. . ."
"PADFOOT!!"
"Meep! Later kido!"
And with that one of the infamous Marauders scrambled down the hall, trying to get away from the wrath of Lily Evans Potter. At that moment however, James came around the corner, saw his wife's face, and started to retreat.
"JAMES LUKE POTTER! GET YOURSELF OVER HERE AND EXPLAIN TO ME WHY I EVER ALLOWED SIRIUS LEE BLACK (A/N: Hello! I just thought I would mention that Siri's middle name doesn't belong to me. At the moment I can't remember where I saw that, but whoever you are, if you read my story and see this please tell me. I would be glad to give you credit! I thought it was really funny, but if you don't want me to use it, tell me and I will change it. Sorry for the interruption!) TO BE THE GODFATHER OF MY CHILD!"
"Er. . .well. . . .You said that he could to make him stop whining about how unfair it was that Moony got to be Harry's unofficial Uncle."
"AND YOU DIDN'T STOP ME?!"
"Er. . . .no dear."
Five minutes of fuming later. . .
"Lily? We really should be going. I'll go get Padfoot, you get a hold of Harry, ok?"
"Fine."
James walked into the Hall and glanced around, saw that the door to the TV room (They have one! Deal with it!) was open and walked in.
"Padfoot? We have to get going. Lily has calmed down now, so it's safe."
A head appeared above the back of the chair "You sure? I heard her yelling in there."
"Positive. Now come on!"
"Ok! I can't wait to see the look on old Sevvy's face! Muahahahahahaha!!"
"Padfoot," James said in a warning tone "We are going to see Dumbledore, not to antagonize Snape. Although, I only say this because Lily would kill us both."
"Poor Prongsie, afraid of his own wife!" Sirius said in a mock sympathy.
James just glared at his best friend and, grabbing a hold of Sirius' arm, dragged him into the living room. Lily was waiting for them next to the fire place with little Harry in her arms.
"Now. I expect you to behave yourselves while we are at Hogwarts! No blowing up toilets, tables, chairs, or students robes! Am I understood?!" Lily said looking rather evil.
"Yes Ma'am." James and Sirius chorused, looking rather down trodden.
With one final glare at Sirius and James, Lily threw the floo powder into the fire stepped in, and yelled "Hogsmead Station!" When James and Sirius finally arrived (It took a while because Sirius kept saying the wrong names, 'Hogshead Station' 'Frogsmead Village' ect. Whether he did this on purpose or not James wouldn't say --) they found that Dumbledore had sent a carriage for them.
Twenty minutes, One dirty diaper, and One carriage ride later. . . .
" 'ullo James, Lily. An' Sirius an' 'arry too! 'Ow are ye?"
"Hiya Hagrid!" Sirius said grinning up at the half giant "We're doing fine. We're here to see the headmaster. Dunno why, Lily and James only brought me to baby-sit Harry!" Sirius said pretending to be hurt.
"Sirius! You begged to come so that you could take care of Harry! You wouldn't leave us alone!" Lily said with some annoyance.
"Now, now, Dumbledore is waitin' for ye, so lets stop yer arguin' and go up an meet 'im, eh?" Hagrid asked smiling at the little group.
Lily smiled up at Hagrid "Of course, we probably shouldn't keep him waiting."
"Follow me then. Professor McGonagall woulda met ye, but she had a class to teach. So she asked me to take ye to Dumbledore for 'er." Hagrid said walking up the stairs toward Dumbledore's office. When they arrived in front of the Stone Gargoyle Hagrid said the password ('Chocolate Pepper Spider') and bid them all farewell.
"Sirius," James said turning to his friend "Would you mind taking Harry for a walk around the school or something? I think the both of you would be bored in here."
Sirius laughed "Ok, James. Come on Kido, lets go see if anything has changed since I was here!" He said with a wink.
"Sirius. . ." Lily said in a warning tone
"Don't worry Lily-poo, I'll behave myself!" Sirius said with a look on his face that said he probably wasn't telling the truth.
Lily just gave him the If-you-do-anything-to-get-in-trouble-while-we're-here-you-will-never-see-your-godson-again look. (A/N I love the exaggerated look thing!)
"Eheh, come on Harry, Your mother is scaring me. . ." Sirius said looking rather nervously at Lily "I promise, we'll be on our BEST behavior!"
"Sirius, coming from you, that could mean anything." Lily said shaking her head "Now go! And don't break anything! Or anyone!"
"Yes Lily!"
"Yesh Mummy!"
"James? Why do I think that Sirius ignored everything I said?" Lily asked while watching her son and un-official brother-in-law skip (A/N: YES SKIP!) down the stairs.
15 minutes later. . .
"Harry! We gotta go NOW! If McGonagall finds out it was ME who blew up the potions classroom she will let Snape throw me off the North tower!" Sirius shouted picking Harry up and running for the stairs.
"Weeeeeeeeeee!" giggled Harry as his godfather sprinted away from the scene of the crime.
2 hours later. . .
"So, what did you and Padfoot do, Harry?" James asked smiling down at his son.
"We blew up da-"
"We went for a walk around the lake!" Sirius said nervously as he clamped his hand over Harry's mouth.
"You blew up the what?" James asked raising an eye-brow. "Never mind, Lily will show up the moment you say anything. Tell me later?"
"Sure thing buddy!" Sirius answered grinning. "So, are we leaving now?"
"We were suppose to, but Dumbledore invited us to a party this afternoon. It's for the students and their parents, but he thought we might like to join them. We can go home if you want, but I heard that a lot of our former classmates would be there to see their younger siblings. Lucius Malfoy will be here. . . ."
"Ugh! I want to go home then!" Sirius said looking disgusted "Have you cracked?"
James just smiled patiently at his best friend "Lily isn't feeling well, so Dumbledore allowed her to use a guest room to rest in. She isn't going to the party. . . ." James said grinning evilly.
"OooooOOo! Brilliant Prongsie! What should we do to our old friend?" Sirius said grinning just as evilly.
"Sirius, whatever we do we MUST remember this, he is eeevillllll! (A/N: Sorry, inside joke ;;)" James said giggling like a 5 year old girl.
"Heh! How could I forget! Hahahahaha! We're gonna make this a night Ferret Face will never forget! And guess what? I heard his son looks just like him!"
"Poor kid, havin' a face that ugly! I mean, he'll rival SNAPE for goodness sake!" James said shaking his head sympathetically.
"Heh, yea. So, what time is this party?" Sirius asked smirking.
"It's in an hour." James said returning the smirk "We should go get ready, and we are taking Harry with us!"
"Harry? Very good. . . .I will need his help with something. . . ." Sirius said doing an impersonation of a mad scientist.
"Hahaha! Padfoot's funny daddy! Where's Mummy?" Harry asked giggling up at his father.
"We're going to go see her right now Harriekins!" James said picking Harry up in his arms and walking toward the guest room he was sharing with Lily. "I'll meet you in the Entrance Hall in about 45 minutes, Sirius?"
"Oh, but what am I going to wear!" Sirius said skipping toward his room. "I'll be there!" (A/N: He is at Hogwarts frequently, so he has his own room)
Five minutes later. . .
"Alright Harry! Let's go get you changed huh?" James said walking toward the entrance to his and Lily's room. The room was located on the 4th floor behind a portrait of an Asian Woman who was walking under a cherry tree. Inside, the room had large bay windows that looked out over the lake, mahogany furniture, a large fire place to one side of the room, and a set of large oak doors that led to the bedroom. Harry laughed at a picture of an old man that hung above the fire place; the old man was obviously unhappy there was a child in the room and kept pulling faces at everyone.
"Lily? I found Harry, where is his change of clothes?" James shouted as he entered the room.
"They are in the chair by the fire place." came the muffled reply.
"Thanks Lils! Are you feeling any better?" James asked as he struggled to get Harry out of his old clothes and into the new ones.
"No. . ." came the rather miserable sounding reply.
"I'm sorry honey; do you want me to bring you anything?"
"No, I just need to sleep for a little while. You and Sirius had better behave yourselves! I'll make sure I ask Professor McGonagall about the party. . ."
"Yes dear," James said nervously "Harry, why don't you play with your little Dragon toy." James said handing Harry the miniature dragon Hagrid had given him for his last birthday.
"Yes Dada!" Harry said giggling as he grabbed for his favorite toy. James smiled and went into the bedroom to change his clothes. About an Hour and 30 minutes later (A/N: And guys think that GIRLS take forever to get changed? No offence guys! Just poking fun.) James emerged and, picking Harry up, made his way toward the Entrance Hall. When he finally got down there (He kept taking wrong turns! Honest!) Sirius was waiting for him just outside the Great Hall.
"Prongsie! What took you so long! I think my hair started to turn grey!" Sirius said running up to James & Harry and picking them up into a bear hug.
"Ha ha, Padfoot! Now will you please put us down!"
"Oops! Sorry James! Hehe! How is Lily doing? She isn't TOO sick is she?" Sirius said looking a little worried (A/N: I didn't want to make them seem heartless! She IS sick after all!)
"She's ok; Madame Pomfrey said that she was just exhausted. She really needs to get more sleep. . . Anyway, shall we go?" James said, a grin forming on his face.
"Of COURSE darling! We don't want to keep our public waiting, now do we?" Sirius answered with one hand behind his head and the other on his hip. Taking Harry from James he ran headlong into the Great Hall, and smack into (Who else) Lucius Malfoy and Professor Dumbledore. "Hi, Professor! Malfoy."
"Sirius! Ah! And little Harry too! I was wondering when I would run into you! Where is James?" Dumbledore asked smiling at them.
"James should be here any minute, I sorta grabbed Harry and ran. . . .eheh." Sirius answered looking sheepish.
"Well, Black, lets just hope you don't get charged with kidnapping then." Lucius said in a monotone.
"Haha Malfoy. Professor? I don't suppose you would mind holding Harry for a minute? I am beginning to wonder where James is. . . " Sirius asked looking behind him.
"Of course not!" Dumbledore answered taking Harry from him. Little did Dumbledore know that Sirius had given Harry his wand. (A/N: Ehe, do you see where this is going yet? MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ;) Looking over at Malfoy, Harry started to laugh.
"What is so funny child?" Lucius asked glaring at Harry.
"Nufink!" Harry said looking innocent "Vertimos!" As Harry said the last word he pointed Sirius' Wand at Lucius' face, and a beard began to form. Full of rage, Lucius grabbed Harry.
"Why you-" But Lucius never finished the sentence because Harry had just pissed all over the front of his shirt. "Grrrrrrrr!" And, throwing Harry back at Dumbledore, Lucius stomped off to find a change of clothes. Of course, James and Sirius had gotten there in time to see the whole thing.
"That's a boy Harry!" Sirius yelled as he took his godson back from Dumbledore and using his wand to clean Harry up again "You remembered everything I told you- I mean, where did you learn that? That was AMAZING!" Dumbledore just smiled and excused himself. If anyone else had seen what Harry had done, they didn't say anything.
"Sirius, I'm going to find Charlie Weasley, you'll take care of Harry right?" James said still laughing.
"You need to ask?" Sirius answered with a grin "We're gonna cruise for babes! Right Harry?"
"Coos for babes!" Harry shouted excitedly. James just shook his head and headed off to find Charlie. The words "Don't get slapped too much" floated back to them.
"Ok, Harry my boy, are you going to help me find a girlfriend?" Sirius said twirling around in a circle. Harry grinned and nodded enthusiastically. "Ok! What do you think of that blond over there?"
"No."
"No? Ok. . . how about. . . the red head over there?"
"No."
"No? Hmmm, how about the brunet over there?"
Harry stared at the woman for about five minutes before he finally said "Yes!"
"Yes? What makes you like her?" Sirius asked curiously.
"She's a nice lady."
"How do you tell? Never mind. Here's what I want you to do. . . ."
Ten minutes later. . .
"Awww! What a cute little boy! Where's your mummy and daddy?" Asked the young woman Sirius had pointed out moments before.
"My mummy isn't feeling good, and my daddy is talking to somebody. My name's Harry! Who are you?"
"Sorry to hear your mummy isn't feeling well. My name's Luna Baltane, pleased to meet you!" Luna said smiling.
"Peesed to meet you! Will you dance with me? Peese?" Harry asked trying to give her puppy eyes.
"Hehe! Of course!" She answered with a curtsey and, picking Harry up, walked out to the dance floor (A/N: Did I mention there was one there?) "So, why did you want to dance with me, I'm sure that there are a lot of lovely ladies your own age here."
Harry put his finger to his mouth and thought for a minute or two "Because you're nice, you have a pwetty smile, you said that you would dance with me, and. . . ." Harry thought for another minute and then started prodding her chest (A/N: My brother did this when he was about 3) "And you have nice boobies!"
"Oh! You little rascal!" Luna said in surprise as she put Harry on the floor again.
Harry took a short running head start, slid to his knees, and said "OW! I feel good! Na na na na na na na! I feeeeeel nice! Like sugar and spice!" By now, almost everyone in the room was laughing their heads off. However Harry's little performance was cut short by-
"SIRIUS! WHAT DO YOU HAVE MY SON DOING?!" Lily Potter had arrived.
"Ehe. . . Lily! I thought you were sleeping. . . ." Answered an extremely nervous looking Sirius Black.
"I was! But I thought I would come and 'check up' on you and James, to make sure that you were behaving (Snape and Malfoy started laughing at this) yourselves!" Lily fumed as she picked Harry up off the floor.
"Ehee. We were behaving, right James? James? JAMES?!"
=End Flashback=
"Actually Padfoot, that situation ends up being just as embarrassing for you as it does for Harry." Remus said after Sirius had finished the story.
"You. . . .You did what??" Suki said looking at Harry " Did you REALLY poke her in the boobs?"
"Uhuh." Harry answered with his head in his hands. "Sirius told me to though!"
"I am almost glad he did," Lily said looking thoughtful "It is something we can embarrass you with at your wedding. . . ." (A/N: My mom and dad are threatening to tell embarrassing stories about me when I get married --) Harry just groaned again.
"James, why haven't you said anything yet?" Remus asked turning to face him. James had a very odd look on his face.
"What time is it?" He asked ignoring Remus' question.
"Er…" Sirius twisted around so that he could grab the alarm clock "5:30, why?"
"I wanted to make sure I had time. Your story reminded me of A Lily Story!" (A/N: plug! Go read Sierra Charm's story A Lily Story! It isn't done yet, but It's really good! There is also a prequel! So, after you finish this, go read! ::loses all her readers to the better story:: T-T) James said looking excited. "Do you remember in our 5th year, about 2 months after she and I started dating? We were in Hogsmead?" The moment James had said "5th year" Suki had started laughing (It had been a very funny year!)
Sirius looked over to where Remus was sitting and started snickering "Yup! I remember!"
"I remember as well. . ." Remus muttered, turning an interest shade of red.
Lily just gave James the Don't-you-dare-James-Potter-or-you-will-be-a-lonely-man look.
James returned the look with I-love-you-sweetie-and-you-don't-REALLY-want-to-hurt-me look.
Remus gave all of them the Oh-shit look and buried his face in his hands.
"Now, where should I begin? Ok, it was the 3rd Hogsmead visit of the year. . ." James began.
=Flashback=
16 year old Lily Evans walked into the Three Broomsticks and glanced around the room, to see if her friends had arrived yet. They hadn't. I bet they're at Zonko's! They are ALWAYS late and at Zonko's! And they've corrupted Suki too! The only friend that I have that they hadn't either corrupted or dated [after they breakup the girls aren't so friendly] and now they have corrupted her! I need a butterbeer! She thought starting to fume. Walking up to the bar she ordered herself a butterbeer and then went to find a table. About 20 minutes later her friends finally arrived…carrying bags from Zonko's. Grrrrr, I knew it!
"Hia Lily-poo!" Sirius exclaimed walking up to her table "May I sit down?"
"You are late. You are 20 minutes late. You are 20 minutes late because you were in Zonko's." Lily said through gritted teeth "Where is James?"
"Ehem er. . .I think he is over there," Sirius points to the coat rack "He's hiding. He wanted us to find out what kind of mood you were in before he came over here."
"Oh he did, did he? Well you can tell him that I am very upset and that if I get my hands on him, he will never be able to have children EVER!" Lily said before getting up and stalking up to the bar for another butterbeer (her forth). Seeing that Lily was gone for the moment James ran over to the table where his friends were now seated.
"How bad is it?" he asked looking worried.
"J-james, sh-she p-p-promised t-to m-make s-sure y-you w-w-would n-never h-have ch-children i-if sh-she g-got h-her h-hands o-on y-you." Peter said. (A/N: As much as I hate him, He WAS their friend in Hogwarts so. . .he won't talk very much -- ::growl:: Stupid little rat….)
"Heh, I guess we shouldn't have stayed at Zonko's so long, eh Prongs?" Sirius said grinning at his friend, and being completely unhelpful.
"Haha Padfoot. Hmmm, maybe I should. . .apologize?" James asked glancing at the bar, where he could see Lily glaring at him.
"I'd say that was a good idea, Prongs." Remus said as he stood up. "I am going to go get a drink myself; I will try to calm our little flower down a bit while I am there."
"Thanks Moony." James muttered. Remus just smiled and walked toward Lily.
"So, do you think he'll be able to calm her down a bit?" Sirius asked as he watched Remus speak to Lily.
"I don't know. . .I hope so though."
"For your sake James, I REALLY hope so!" Suki said looking overly pleased with the situation (A/N: She's Psycho! Muahaha! Just like me! j/k)
"Y-you r-really n-n-need help A-alexander." Peter stuttered, giving Suki a wary look.
"Calling each other by our last names now Pettigrew?" Suki answered bitingly. (A/N: Just cos he's there doesn't mean I have to be nice. : P)
"Enough! Both of you! Peter, stop calling Suki by her last name! Suki, be nice to Peter!" (A/N: Didn't I just say I wasn't going to be nice?) James said, sounding rather annoyed.
"All of you shut up, because here comes Remus." Sirius hissed at them.
"Well, she is somewhat calmed down. Still pissed off, but calmer than before." Remus reported upon reaching the table.
"Is she still going to hurt me?" James asked glancing toward his girlfriend.
"I don't THINK so." Remus answered looking skeptical. There was a muttered "awww" from Suki when he said that. "That's a GOOD thing Suki." Remus said giving her a disproving look. "Although, it might be interesting to see Prongs get beaten up by a girl half his size. . ."
"MOONY!" James shrieked in outrage.
"Hahaha! You sound haha like a GIRL James!" Sirius gasped out between laughs. "Uh-oh here comes LILY!"
And there she was walking toward their (her) table. Remus glanced over his shoulder at her, but someone called his name so he turned back to try and find the person. As luck would have it Lily, only a couple of feet from the table, tripped. She would have landed on her hands and knees, but to stabilize herself, she grabbed the nearest thing to her. . .Remus' behind. Remus, not expecting an 'attack' like this, yowled and jumped about five feet in the air. James, Suki, Sirius, and Peter all sat in shocked silence for almost a whole minute. . .and then (with the exception of James) started laughing their heads off. Remus and Lily both turned bright red.
"Lily! You-you. . ." James started.
"Just grabbed Remus' ass?" Sirius added looking very amused
"It wasn't on purpose!" replied a still red Lily.
"Yea, SURE Lily! Was it in our 2nd year that you were saying how in LOVE with him you were? Or our 3rd?" Suki asked looking thoughtful. "You thought he was sooooo cute! She said stuff like this: 'Isn't Remus so sweet?! He offered to help me with my DADA homework! ::sigh:: Isn't that sweet Suki? Suki?? SUKI??!' She was like that all the time!"
If possible Lily was blushing harder and Remus looked rather intrigued. "She said that about me? Really? Wow. . .I always thought she liked Sirius. . .I KNOW she thought James was an idiot. . ."
James, who up until now had been silent, started to babble "You liked Sirius?! And Remus?! You thought I was an IDIOT?! What-when-where. . .???" He was losing grip on reality.
"Er. . .James?" Lily asked before going suddenly wide eyed "Put the butterbeer down! JAMES!!"
=End Flashback=
"What did you do with the butterbeer? I must know!" Harry shouted, almost strangling his father because that was were he chose to stop speaking.
"Ehee, I recall him dumping it down the front of her shirt, and then picking up my glass and Padfoot's glass and then dumping them over OUR heads." Remus answered shaking his head "Your father was sooooo jealous that Lily had found Padfoot and I attractive. Heh. I recall him paying dearly for the butterbeer incident later though. . .although, he couldn't have paid TOO dearly because you are here today!"
"Reeeemmuuss!" Lily groaned
A/N: Well, there are some changes, I wanted to change the. . . incident with Remus there as it seems to be in…bad taste. But. . .eh. It stays. Please review!
Animegirl