AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've decided to continue this plotline even though I only
have a basic idea of where it's going. But I would like to thank my
reviewers Psycho Violinist of Silentwood, clara200, and mycatranoverabus.
You are all such wonderful people, and you have no idea how much I
appreciate your encouragement.
DISCLAIMER: Plot is mine but the characters aren't. . .yet.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter Two: What Might've Been
~~~
Mokkan's POV.
~~~
The sunset is beautiful. Maybe some creatures don't think I can appreciate such a thing, however, they are sorely mistaken. The splashes of crimson - which so resemble spilt blood - are breathtaking. How could one - even someone so cold as myself - fail to notice this natural wonder? But it seems the sunset isn't the only thing being viewed. I had snuck a glance at him so I know he's watching me. . .he always is. But he's never does anything about it. One might simply say he's "enjoying the view". It's almost amusing to see my brother, Gelltor, take such passive action when usually he rushes into a situation with little to no careful planning.
For some reason I feel slightly disappointed that he hasn't come over, but I quickly shove that thought to the back of mind with other, similar revolting thoughts. Why would I ever want to spend time with my pathetic sibling? Then, abruptly, I hear voices coming from Gelltor's direction. It looks like his twin Predak has come to join him. Although I can't hear what they're saying, it sounds light and casual. I wonder if they're talking about me. . . However, my thoughts are cut short by the arrival of one of my other little sisters, Ziral.
"Mokkan!" she calls out to me. "The trackers have found Ascrod and Vannan, and they're waiting at the center fire for us, let's go!"
I nod in reply and start back towards the main camp with Ziral walking next to me. Farther back, I see Predak start toward the camp. Gelltor pauses a moment to stare at me before running to catch up with his twin.
By the time Ziral and I reach the center fire, everyone - including the water rat captains - is seated on fallen logs which some soldier must've thought would make good "chairs".
"Alright," I begin and take a step forward, "now that everyone's here, we can talk. Ziral and I have had plenty of time to come up with a rather good idea for getting into Redwall seeing as how it's the only place around here worth stealing from."
"And how do you propose we do that?" Vannan asks.
"Simple," I tell her. "One of us will lead four water rats in a stealth mission to unfasten the bolts in Redwall's east gate - it appears to be the least guarded. Fatchur is the perfect rat for the job, and he will perform the actual unlocking. Now we just need to choose someone to direct the operation."
I shift my gaze a little to my brother as he volunteers. "I'll do it."
"Sure you can handle it, Gelltor?" I sneer coldly.
He shoots me an icy glare, and replies, "I've worked with Fatchur before."
I smile, but it is far from kind and reassuring. "Well, at least I can open a lock myself."
It's easy to see he's embarrassed despite that fact that his lock-picking skills are just fine. Maybe he's so abashed because the insult came from me. Either way, I ignore him and continue explaining how the mission will go.
~~~
By the time our meeting was over, it was dark out, and I wanted to scream. After I had started off the beginning of the meeting by explaining the basics of our first strategy, Predak stood to inform the rest of us what she and Gelltor had observed while they were scouting. Unfortunately, this left me with only one place to sit: where Predak had been, which was - conveniently - next to Gelltor. I bit my tongue and sat down quietly, but I had to hold back a gasp as our paws brush. It was like a butterflies-in-the- stomach kind of rush. To my complete horror, our bodies continued to touch slightly. I saw Gelltor inhale sharply as he realized what close contact we would have to stay in. I tensed up, and resolved not to turn and look at him. But for the remaining three and a half hours of the meeting I could feel his eyes on me.
With the mental stress of a mission, the tension between Gelltor and I - not to mention the rest of my siblings (let's face it, they aren't very fond of me) - is more exhausting than I expected. I never remember it being this straining before, but I'll deal with it, I always do. For right now, though, all I want to do is sleep. . .is that so much to ask for?
~~~
Apparently it is.
For around four hours, I keep tossing and turning endlessly as I drift in and out of sleep. Finally, I decide I might as well give up. It seems a full night of rest is quite out of my reach, but I'll settle for just relaxing under the stars at this point. Perhaps a short stroll down to the riverbank will help settle my nerves. If it doesn't, then I'm sure the broad side of my axe will do the trick. Carefully, I meld into the leaves and shadows around me. Almost appearing to shift and slide with them, I start toward the river.
I am nearly there when something suddenly slams into me. We tumble into a patch of moonlight, and I'm pinned beneath. . .Gelltor?!
For a minute, it's like the world just stops. I can feel Gelltor's warm body against mine as well as the rough fabric of his tunic and cloak. I'm humiliated to admit it, but at this point, my thoughts took a nose dive straight into the gutter. His luminous eyes are widened in surprise, and his lips are slightly parted, and I truly want to kiss him, and -
"Gelltor, you bumbling oaf!" I snarl regaining my composure in an instant. "By Hell's Teeth, get off of me!"
Swiftly, he jumps off me, and - for a second - I feel a little dissatisfied at the loss of physical contact while at the same time disgusted that I could even consider feeling that way.
"You stupid idiot!" I yell, not caring whether someone hears me. "Can't you even watch where you're going?!"
Angrily, I storm off leaving my speechless brother behind me. As I walk, a million different thoughts run through my brain, each trying to out-scream the others.
//How could you entertain the idea of something so VILE?!//
//Get BACK there! Where are you GOING?!//
//What are you THINKING?!//
I let out a growl and collapse in the small clearing I'd been sleeping in. I have always had some difficulty understanding this. . .situation with Gelltor and myself, but I have never felt this confused before. It is impossible to ignore that there is SOMETHING between us.
But I can never let Gelltor know that I. . .that I what? That I CARE for him? Maybe even LOVE him? What DO I feel for my brother anyway? In fact, I'm not really sure I want to know. I can handle Gelltor's love - yes, I've long since accepted that what he feels isn't just a passing crush - but I can't allow myself to return his devotion. . .even if I did feel the same way. Feelings of any kind for anyone are a weakness. If you have no attachments, then there is nothing but your own shortcomings to prevent you from reaching your goal. I'm sure many would say that my road is a hard one to travel, but it is the choice I made long ago, and I will not turn back now.
And yet here I am, lying on the ground in a strange forest far from my home. It's so easy to reassure myself when I'm surrounded by servants and slaves who obey me. But now that I'm alone, I can't help but wonder what might've been. . .
~To be continued. . .~
~*~*~*~*~*~
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please R&R. I'm currently trying to decide whether I want to keep this storyline in agreement with the book (and therefore make it VERY depressing) or turn it into a Mokkan-and-Gelltor-end-up-together AU (which is most likely to happen). I'll probably decide soon. Should be interesting, ne?
Mokkan: You mean you aren't done tormenting us NOW?!
VampCat: *calmly* Nope.
Gelltor: Y'know, Mokkan, I'm beginning to think I liked her angst better.
VampCat: C'mon! This is plenty angsty. In fact, *evil grin* there may even be a lemon between you two in one of the next chapters.
Mokkan and Gelltor: WHAT?! *both fall over anime-style*
DISCLAIMER: Plot is mine but the characters aren't. . .yet.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Chapter Two: What Might've Been
~~~
Mokkan's POV.
~~~
The sunset is beautiful. Maybe some creatures don't think I can appreciate such a thing, however, they are sorely mistaken. The splashes of crimson - which so resemble spilt blood - are breathtaking. How could one - even someone so cold as myself - fail to notice this natural wonder? But it seems the sunset isn't the only thing being viewed. I had snuck a glance at him so I know he's watching me. . .he always is. But he's never does anything about it. One might simply say he's "enjoying the view". It's almost amusing to see my brother, Gelltor, take such passive action when usually he rushes into a situation with little to no careful planning.
For some reason I feel slightly disappointed that he hasn't come over, but I quickly shove that thought to the back of mind with other, similar revolting thoughts. Why would I ever want to spend time with my pathetic sibling? Then, abruptly, I hear voices coming from Gelltor's direction. It looks like his twin Predak has come to join him. Although I can't hear what they're saying, it sounds light and casual. I wonder if they're talking about me. . . However, my thoughts are cut short by the arrival of one of my other little sisters, Ziral.
"Mokkan!" she calls out to me. "The trackers have found Ascrod and Vannan, and they're waiting at the center fire for us, let's go!"
I nod in reply and start back towards the main camp with Ziral walking next to me. Farther back, I see Predak start toward the camp. Gelltor pauses a moment to stare at me before running to catch up with his twin.
By the time Ziral and I reach the center fire, everyone - including the water rat captains - is seated on fallen logs which some soldier must've thought would make good "chairs".
"Alright," I begin and take a step forward, "now that everyone's here, we can talk. Ziral and I have had plenty of time to come up with a rather good idea for getting into Redwall seeing as how it's the only place around here worth stealing from."
"And how do you propose we do that?" Vannan asks.
"Simple," I tell her. "One of us will lead four water rats in a stealth mission to unfasten the bolts in Redwall's east gate - it appears to be the least guarded. Fatchur is the perfect rat for the job, and he will perform the actual unlocking. Now we just need to choose someone to direct the operation."
I shift my gaze a little to my brother as he volunteers. "I'll do it."
"Sure you can handle it, Gelltor?" I sneer coldly.
He shoots me an icy glare, and replies, "I've worked with Fatchur before."
I smile, but it is far from kind and reassuring. "Well, at least I can open a lock myself."
It's easy to see he's embarrassed despite that fact that his lock-picking skills are just fine. Maybe he's so abashed because the insult came from me. Either way, I ignore him and continue explaining how the mission will go.
~~~
By the time our meeting was over, it was dark out, and I wanted to scream. After I had started off the beginning of the meeting by explaining the basics of our first strategy, Predak stood to inform the rest of us what she and Gelltor had observed while they were scouting. Unfortunately, this left me with only one place to sit: where Predak had been, which was - conveniently - next to Gelltor. I bit my tongue and sat down quietly, but I had to hold back a gasp as our paws brush. It was like a butterflies-in-the- stomach kind of rush. To my complete horror, our bodies continued to touch slightly. I saw Gelltor inhale sharply as he realized what close contact we would have to stay in. I tensed up, and resolved not to turn and look at him. But for the remaining three and a half hours of the meeting I could feel his eyes on me.
With the mental stress of a mission, the tension between Gelltor and I - not to mention the rest of my siblings (let's face it, they aren't very fond of me) - is more exhausting than I expected. I never remember it being this straining before, but I'll deal with it, I always do. For right now, though, all I want to do is sleep. . .is that so much to ask for?
~~~
Apparently it is.
For around four hours, I keep tossing and turning endlessly as I drift in and out of sleep. Finally, I decide I might as well give up. It seems a full night of rest is quite out of my reach, but I'll settle for just relaxing under the stars at this point. Perhaps a short stroll down to the riverbank will help settle my nerves. If it doesn't, then I'm sure the broad side of my axe will do the trick. Carefully, I meld into the leaves and shadows around me. Almost appearing to shift and slide with them, I start toward the river.
I am nearly there when something suddenly slams into me. We tumble into a patch of moonlight, and I'm pinned beneath. . .Gelltor?!
For a minute, it's like the world just stops. I can feel Gelltor's warm body against mine as well as the rough fabric of his tunic and cloak. I'm humiliated to admit it, but at this point, my thoughts took a nose dive straight into the gutter. His luminous eyes are widened in surprise, and his lips are slightly parted, and I truly want to kiss him, and -
"Gelltor, you bumbling oaf!" I snarl regaining my composure in an instant. "By Hell's Teeth, get off of me!"
Swiftly, he jumps off me, and - for a second - I feel a little dissatisfied at the loss of physical contact while at the same time disgusted that I could even consider feeling that way.
"You stupid idiot!" I yell, not caring whether someone hears me. "Can't you even watch where you're going?!"
Angrily, I storm off leaving my speechless brother behind me. As I walk, a million different thoughts run through my brain, each trying to out-scream the others.
//How could you entertain the idea of something so VILE?!//
//Get BACK there! Where are you GOING?!//
//What are you THINKING?!//
I let out a growl and collapse in the small clearing I'd been sleeping in. I have always had some difficulty understanding this. . .situation with Gelltor and myself, but I have never felt this confused before. It is impossible to ignore that there is SOMETHING between us.
But I can never let Gelltor know that I. . .that I what? That I CARE for him? Maybe even LOVE him? What DO I feel for my brother anyway? In fact, I'm not really sure I want to know. I can handle Gelltor's love - yes, I've long since accepted that what he feels isn't just a passing crush - but I can't allow myself to return his devotion. . .even if I did feel the same way. Feelings of any kind for anyone are a weakness. If you have no attachments, then there is nothing but your own shortcomings to prevent you from reaching your goal. I'm sure many would say that my road is a hard one to travel, but it is the choice I made long ago, and I will not turn back now.
And yet here I am, lying on the ground in a strange forest far from my home. It's so easy to reassure myself when I'm surrounded by servants and slaves who obey me. But now that I'm alone, I can't help but wonder what might've been. . .
~To be continued. . .~
~*~*~*~*~*~
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Please R&R. I'm currently trying to decide whether I want to keep this storyline in agreement with the book (and therefore make it VERY depressing) or turn it into a Mokkan-and-Gelltor-end-up-together AU (which is most likely to happen). I'll probably decide soon. Should be interesting, ne?
Mokkan: You mean you aren't done tormenting us NOW?!
VampCat: *calmly* Nope.
Gelltor: Y'know, Mokkan, I'm beginning to think I liked her angst better.
VampCat: C'mon! This is plenty angsty. In fact, *evil grin* there may even be a lemon between you two in one of the next chapters.
Mokkan and Gelltor: WHAT?! *both fall over anime-style*