There's Something About Jesse

Summary: Everybody's suspecting

something about Jesse…something girly…

We will only find out his secret from…STEVE

THE TALKING SLINGSHOT! Of course, he's in a conspiracy, but with who? And who wants revenge on Jesse? And for what? Find out now by reading this story!

Disclaimer with Steve the Slingshot from

Dark Cloud:

{Full House isn't owned by this little girl: It's owned

by Miller-Boyett Productions. Dark Cloud, my origin,

isn't owned by her, either. How spunky dinky. Why'd I

say that? But, there are new characters, and one

mouth just keeps going and going and go-}"SHUT UP,

STEVE!" {Shutting up...}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Something's wrong with Mr. Katsopolis, Rebecca,"

said the distinguished 14 year old Hilary Greenstone, who

was an exchange student from Liverpool, England

when Stephanie was chosen for the student exchange program at her school. (A/N: Steph WILL come back in this story!) "I know, Hil. He

keeps adjusting something under his shirt," said Becky. "May I suggest a brassier under his blouse?"

Becky cracked up with Hilary's comment, while Hilary didn't notice what was so funny, so she just kept looking around the living room with a strange look on her face. "Hey,guys,wazzup?Ilike,had the coolestdayatschooltoday!Jakeaskedmeoutandlike,Isaidyesandnowwe'relike,onforFridaynight!" (A/N: Spaced out, that's "Hey, guys, wazzup? I like, had the coolest day at school today! Jake asked me out and like, I said yes and now we're like, on for Friday night!") said Becky and Jesse's new adopted daughter, Leeya, who was 13 years old and couldn't STAND to be separated from her beloved talking slingshot and personal spy, Steve. {Like, I like, already like, you know, know, Leeya! You are like, sooo psyched about this!} "Steve! Sarcastic alert! I'll shred you if you don't shut up, but then I'll have no companion in the world and I'll be like, all alone and I'll like, die from loneliness and I'll probably like, commit suicide, and then-" {LEEYA! PLEASE!) "Sorry, Steve."

"Well, I have to admit, that was hilarious, but maybe you should take your conversations into the next room," said Hilary in her nonchalant, smooth way of talking, but she had to shout because Becky was rolling on the floor laughing her head off. "I do say, what is that woman's problem?" That only made Becky laugh even harder. Hilary shook head, causing her honey-brown long hair to swing around her head. "Some people," whispered Hilary as she climbed up the stairs to her-err, Steph's room only to walk into Jesse, who was carrying the laundry, and fall off the side of the staircase, screaming and waving her arms wildly and landed face first on the floor. Ow. {Hmm, the babe fell, what to do, what to do, what to do with the body.} "DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A BABE, YOU SPLINTER!" screamed Hilary, just before she passed out. By now, Becky was laughing so hard, she was crying and her stomach hurt like heck. Leeya dragged Hilary out of the way just as Jesse, who was hanging from the stair rail by his hand, fell on-you guessed it-his face where Hilary just landed. "Like, OH MY GOD I SAVED HILARY FROM AN UNLIKELY DEATH!!" screamed Leeya. Becky stopped laughing long enough to look at Jesse, and started laughing again, like the girl who wouldn't stop laughing. Sheesh.

Meanwhile….

Announcer from "Know Your Stars" on All That: And now, one minute with Steve.

{Okay, first of all, I wanna get this off of my back: Hilary Greenstone is a beauty to the human eye. I love her to death, but I feel the same way about Leeya, Danny's wife, Vicky Larson (A/N: I needed to put Vicky in this story!), and Becky. oh lord, do I love Becky! Anyways, the only babes that I can hook up with are Hil and Leeya. Anyways, forget them, let's talk about Jesse's BIG secret! You wouldn't believe this, but sometimes, Jesse-}

Announcer: And that was one minute with Steve!

{Hey! I wasn't done yet! Anyways,-"}

Announcer: Steve, shut up, or you'll face the shredder!

{Shutting up…}

Hilary has woken up, and is now complaining about her now-deformed nose. "Ow, my nose! Please, I need my physician!" "Hil, you'll live through a measly broken nose. I'll go get Dad and he'll drive us down to the hospital, just stay here, kid," said Vicky and Danny's new adopted 14 year old son, Brandon. "Thanks, Brandon. You're a true friend." Brandon smoothed back his dark brown hair, (It looks like Matt's hair from 7th Heaven) and hugged Hilary lightly. "Thanks, kid. Now, keep your nose still," and Brandon went off to see Danny. "Love you," whispered the two teens after they left the room.

Meanwhile, in Liverpool, England…

"Stephanie! Time for dinner!" called out Hilary's mother, Louisa. "Okay, Louisa. Let me wash my hands!" called Stephanie as she went to go and wash her cuts and bruises from Hilary's father hitting on her a lot, despite Louisa's protests. Steph hated England, and she hated the fact that her family was across the Atlantic Ocean. God, did she miss them. Steph kept a picture of her whole family, including Leeya, Brandon, and Hilary just before Steph left and Hilary arrived. As Steph turned off the sink, she wondered what kind of dinner was going to be served up that night. It was probably corned beef, cabbage, and watery milk, like they had every night. No, it was definitely the

Now, where we? Oh yes, back in San Francisco…..

Hilary had just gotten back from the hospital with a better looking nose. It didn't twist this way and that now, but boy, was she tired from all of the operations. She went for the first eligible bed: the couch, but Brandon caught Hilary as she almost jumped over the couch, being the track star that she was. {Hope you feel better, babe.} This time, Hilary was too exhausted to threaten Steve, so she just smiled and nodded off in Brandon's arms as she was carried up the stairs while Jesse adjusted something under his shirt, and then took the shirt off. Everybody gasped. Jesse was….BARECHESTED! And GOD was his chest hairy! Even Brandon ran down to look at his uncle, accidentally dropping Hilary on her back, causing her to bump down the stairs-painfully. "Oof! There goes my chances of walking upright tomorrow!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

End Chapter 1

Hilary: Hello. Next chapter, my nose is completely healed, so I get my revenge on Jesse for causing me to break my nose! And who would be better for revenge than…Brandon, Leeya, and that bratty little slingshot, Steve! Check out our plan in Chapter 2: The Planning