Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
- Juvenal
Quos inter fabulas fabulosos esse dicitis?
- Unknown
A Pyre of Terracotta - I - Follow Your Star
As the lab's window shattered inwards, Hilbert realized that a few of his recent choices may not have been the best.
Sure, the doctors told him it was risky to go on a journey in his condition, and maybe going to an entirely different region to do so was questionable, and he realized that picking the first offer of starter Pokémon was probably not the most effective way to do things… but in his defense, he only had a year, and making mistakes was an important part of any trainer's journey, right?
The glass tinkled on the linoleum as the cause of the commotion found her footing.
"Heya, Professor!" she said, her thick ponytail settling behind her. All of the twigs likely came from the same place as her; the swampy forest just behind the lab.
Professor Willow, the grizzled old man that he was, could not be bothered to act surprised or dumbfounded, and instead pinched his nose.
"Glynnes, this is the third time you've done this to my laboratory…"
Accentuating the point, the vine she had used slipped from the tile and back into the shade of the canopy.
Evidently lacking in shame, she laughed- and not in that half-hearted, "Oops, sorry," sort of way; it was a full from-the-belly laugh- and walked right past Hilbert.
"Won't happen again, I promise."
"That's what you said the last two times," Willow said sullenly, crossing his arms. His eyes darted over to Hilbert. "Forgive the intrusion. Glynnes is…"
The scholarly man found himself at a loss for words.
"Glynnes."
Hilbert realized he was still shielding his eyes with his free arm and moved it to his cane. "Ah… it's fine?"
"So, I'm just gonna, like, take Macha and leave, is that alright, Professor?" Glynnes said, plucking a Pokéball from a wheel containing five. She shook the ball at the two of them. "She's my favorite of them, you know."
Willow looked at the shattered window and considered aloud, "I should just not give you a Pokémon until this window is fixed."
Glynnes jutted out her bottom lip.
"...but that would be cruel," Willow said, deflating.
Hilbert recalled for a moment that willow wood was supposed to be sturdy and durable, but he dismissed the thought from his mind.
"Awesome." Glynnes, in the breadth of a split second, had moved from halfway across the lab to right in Hilbert's face. "Hey, didn't see you there! Are you going to be a trainer, too?"
"I… was hoping so?" Hilbert said, leaning back slightly, though he did not take a step. He had a feeling she would get closer anyway. "Professor Willow was telling me about the Pokémon he was offering."
She stuck her Pokéball in his face. It was marked with a blue sphere inside of the fist that usually represented the fighting type. "Macha's a Riolu, and she's my favorite. The others are pretty cool too. You might not keep up with Aodhan, Rian, or Delaney, but-"
"Glynnes, if you're going to try and do my job, use the species names," Willow pleaded. "And be polite."
Glynnes eyes, initially filled with a manic energy that made them seem like amber, cooled to a blank, earthen tone. "Eh…"
Nothing behind the eyes there, Hilbert noted.
Willow turned to Hilbert, shooing Glynnes away to give him some space. "Chimchar, Piplup, Shinx, and she was going to finish with Turtwig. I know you're from Unova, but are you familiar with those species?"
"I've done some reading," Hilbert said. "Well, between conditioning and all of that. Couldn't exactly do field work."
"Ah," Willow said. He glanced at Hilbert's cane, though did not linger out of politeness. "Which of them do you favor?"
Hilbert shrugged. "It would be sort of hard to make a choice like that. I haven't had the opportunity to have a real battle for a while now, and I'll have to specialize in one type or another, I'm sure… I just don't know which."
"Hm. Are you looking for suggestions?"
Glynnes interrupted and said, "I would tell you to take Macha, but she's my very best friend, so you'll have to take someone else."
Willow pinched the bridge of his nose again. "In all honesty, I could give you the rundown on each of them, the long-term benefits, and potential drawbacks, but I won't."
"Why not?" Hilbert asked, brow furrowing slightly.
"I have one in mind for you. I have Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny send me documents on prospective trainers. I can't very well give Pokémon to felons or people with a pattern of neglect." He almost glared sideways at the blonde, who was leaning in with interest. "Glynnes, I need you to leave. This isn't something you're allowed to hear about."
"Aw, why not?" she complained.
"Because-"
"I really don't mind," Hilbert said, looking away. "Anyone can tell. I shouldn't be walking all over the region in my condition. But! I'm cleared as long as I don't do anything too strenuous," he said with a nod, recalling the doctor's words. "My condition won't worsen."
"I read as much," Willow said. He turned to Glynnes. "If you're going to stick around, would you at least clean up the mess you made?"
The blonde looked positively scandalized, but walked off to find cleaning implements.
With her gone, Willow turned back to him. "Even so, will that be comfortable for you?"
As if on cue, the inside of Hilbert's knee pulsed with itching, uncomfortable heat. He winced. "Not… well, maybe?"
Willow shook his head. "I also read that you refused to apply for air transport funds. Tunod has had trainers like you before, and the League will accommodate you if you want to challenge Gyms. That looks worse later on, you understand. They're less willing to help people that don't ask for it."
Hilbert shrugged. "Someone else can probably use it better. The idea of a journey is traveling on your own, you know?"
Willow stared at him for a second, as if they were having entirely different conversations.
"I see. But I would say that a journey is about relying on others, relying on your Pokémon. It's why I give them to young trainers. They have to learn somewhere, even if it takes a little push."
"Well, I understand relying on Pokémon," Hilbert said, scratching his cheek.
"Yes, even if you can't rely on people," Willow said sadly.
Hilbert's smile dipped at the corners. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Willow waved him off. "Nothing, nothing… just a pattern. Now, since you agree that you can rely on your Pokémon, do you think you could rely on them for travel?"
Hilbert screwed his eyes up in thought. "Well, none of those can fly… You mean on land?"
"Yes."
He started at that. "Professor, I can walk." He tapped his cane against the linoleum to prove his point. "I want the same recommendation you'd give anyone else."
"Young man, please understand. Anyone can be a trainer, but very few people can train any Pokémon. Let me give you a few relevant examples." He tapped his glasses for emphasis.
Hilbert inclined his head.
"If a trainer is too slow or unclear with training, a Shinx will run off, thinking it's still playing the game, and get lost. If a trainer doesn't submit or establish their authority properly, a Piplup will hop in the nearest body of water and swim away. If a trainer can't cope with or tries to suppress a Chimchar's natural rambunctiousness, then both suffer. If a trainer is too temperamental, too impatient, a Turtwig will bury itself and do nothing at all." Willow fixed him with a deep stare. "Most trainers can do most of those things, or learn to. That's why these Pokémon are great for starting out with. They teach a lesson to the trainer. You, Hilbert… I'm sorry, Hilbert, but I'm not sure you can."
Hilbert stared at the ground, knuckled white around the handle of his cane. "Yeah," he said, breath coming out shakily. "Thank you, Professor. I'll look somewhere else for a Pokémon. The applications don't take too long, I'm sure I can still do everything I want to do before I'm done." He turned, but he was not able to complete a full step.
Glynnes burst back into the room, carrying a vacuum half her height and twice her width. "Heya! I'm back. Macha, can you hold this for a second?"
A blue-furred, black-masked biped walked out from around her legs, easily taking the weight as Glynnes fiddled with the cords.
"Don't mind me!" she called, "Just cleaning up." She passed by Hilbert. "Don't frown so much," she said, tapping his shoulder with the plug and a smile on her face. "It's cuter when Odhran does it… though you two seem pretty similar to me!"
Hilbert, caught off-guard, looked back at Willow in confusion.
An awkward moment came and went.
"Just… wait a minute," the Professor said. "That is not what I meant. I'm sorry it appeared that way. What I was trying to say is that everyone has different circumstances, and for you, a Pokémon that can assist you with travel is the best. Turtwigs can bear human weight and then some after they evolve into Grotles. When they become Torterras, it's not inaccurate to say they could carry a house. It won't be an immediate benefit, but I think that in the long-term, Turtwig would be best for you."
"Called it!" Glynnes called in a sing-song voice from the other side of the lab. She was immediately copied by the very unmusical sounds of an industrial vacuum cleaner.
Hilbert hooked a thumb towards her back. "I'd hate to be rude, but what's her deal?" he asked. "Is she your daughter?"
The aged man shook his head. "Glenwood's daughter. She doesn't have parents, so responsibility fell to the whole town," Willow said. "Glynnes of Glenwood. She's always been better with Pokémon than people, though. Sorry if she's bothering you."
Hilbert got the feeling, as he looked back over, that she was pretending very well to not be listening.
"...No, I was just curious. Turtwig, you said?"
He and the Professor went out front of the lab, a Pokéball with an engraving of a leafy twig in Hilbert's hands. Willow stressed that introducing the two to each other in a low-stress environment would help in the transition from lab care to ownership.
Glenwood Town, closer to midday, was still quaint but the main roads were bustling with activity. Most of the people were likely travelers passing through to go to Seaspray, Chocco, or Northcoast Town, but there was still that cozy, lazy-Sunday charm to it. It was easy to see that there was enough of a village there to raise a child.
Hilbert's thumb passed over the trigger mechanism. He remembered playing with his parents' Pokéballs and trying to throw them properly.
That was a long time ago, though.
With a click and a blast of light, Turtwig appeared on the well-packed country path. They looked around for a moment; first left, then right, then up at Hilbert.
"Wig?" they said.
"Yo," Hilbert said. "I'd crouch down to introduce myself, but I'm not allowed to squat, so," he shrugged. "I'm Hilbert. I've got a year to complete my journey, do all the fun things I'm supposed to, and then retire for good. I'm not going to be running around, well, anytime soon, but I intend on going to all kinds of places. How does that sound to you?"
"Turt?"
"Sounds about right," Hilbert said. He turned to Willow. "What did Glynnes name this one?"
"Odhran."
"Right." He tapped his cane and nodded at the Turtwig. "Odhran, if you want to see the world, meet all kinds of people and Pokémon, and find a nice hovel to settle down in, then I'm your man."
"Twig."
"Well, yeah, but you're not coming along for any of that; it's my stunning personality you're after, isn't that right?"
"Wig?"
"I think we're having different conversations here. Listen, I'm gonna win big, and if you team up with me, I'll use all that money and get you some of the loamiest soil money can buy. What do you say to that?"
Odhran's eyes widened. "Turt!" They launched themselves at Hilbert's cane, though it would be more appropriate to say they bumped their head lightly.
With a crooked smile, Hilbert said, "I think we're going to get along just fine."
"As it turns out… Glynnes took my last Pokédex. You'll have to head to Chocco Town and meet the inventor that's set up there. I sent him an email, so he'll know you're coming."
Hilbert took this in stride and offered a hand. "That's fine. Thanks for everything, Professor."
Willow shook his hand. "The pleasure's all mine. The best of luck to you."
Hilbert waved as he headed off down the road, Odhran keeping in-step with his slightly hobbled pace.
The sun was high in the sky, illuminating the path ahead and behind.
Willow looked around the front of his lab, where none but himself were standing. He nodded solemnly to the empty air.
"He's a fine young man. You raised him well. I'll do my best to look after him while he's here."
The wind whistled, but gave no reply.
Tap.
"Odhran, did you ever learn how to battle?"
Tap.
"Wig," they chirped apologetically.
Tap.
"That's… totally fine! We can work on that. When I was in the hospital, they let me borrow a simulator called Showdown-"
"Turtwig."
"...And I got pretty good at that, but I hear the VR version is much more realistic-"
"Turtwig."
"-and you probably don't want to hear about that, but-"
"Turtwig!"
Hilbert looked up.
Standing between them and the rest of the road leading into the forest proper was a Pikachu.
"Huh." Hilbert shielded his eyes with his free arm. "You think that's a wild Pokémon?"
"Turt-wi-wig," Odhran said, planting their root-stubs.
A red scarf whipped around the Pikachu's neck. Every thread was standing on edge, and the Pikachu's back was arched.
"Pika!" they cried, and without further warning, a bolt of electricity shot towards them, tearing up the ground in its path.
Odhran balled up, a bluish shield appearing around them before fading. Its shell gleamed as if wet, though it looked more solid than before.
Unfortunately, that did not protect Hilbert, who lazily looked at the thunderbolt.
He put his weight on his back foot, lifted his cane, and angled it so the metal pole would take the electricity, rather than the insulated handle or his very much uninsulated self.
The air burned in his nostrils as the electricity thrummed into the cane. He spun it away from him, around his wrist without making contact, and planted it into the ground. The faint buzzing in his ears zapped out immediately.
"I don't mean to change topic," he said to Odhran as they popped out of defensive position in shock, "But did you know a lot of baton techniques work with just about anything stick shaped?"
The Pikachu seemed to be even angrier at this, and immediately began charging a second volley.
"Tackle the dirt between us!" Hilbert suddenly called, pointing forward with his cane and a determined look.
Odhran jumped forward and spun. After landing sideways in the sand, they kicked up a cloud of dust before rolling back to their feet.
"Pika!" he heard, just before the dust was lit up with flashes of yellow and white within. It smelled of burning ozone, but once again the attack had no effect.
Hilbert eyed the falling cloud for a moment, watching for the Pikachu.
The road was empty, and Odhran let out a confused "Wig?"
His sea-gray eyes flickered towards the forest surrounding the path. A flash of yellow?
"Odhran, jump and Withdraw!"
The Pikachu leapt from the shrubbery as Odhran began ascending. When they were halfway to the Grass-type, they leapt and cried, "Pikapi!"
Hilbert put his good foot back, put all his weight onto it, and reared back with his cane.
"Batta-batta-get-your-grubby-paws-away-from-my-partner…"
A bluish sphere coalesced around Odhran as they shut their eyes tight.
"SWING!"
His cane cracked against Odhran's shield and sent it barrelling towards Pikachu.
There was a split second where their expression was almost human in how comical it was. It was the very picture of a realization that was had just a moment too late.
Odhran slammed into Pikachu, shattering the shield's energy and dispersing all of that energy, kinetic and otherwise, into the Electric-type.
"PIKAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" they screeched, before becoming nothing but a twinkle in the sky.
Hilbert shielded his eyes with his free arm.
"Huh. I thought that only happened on television."
Odran rolled to their legs, looked back to see that their sapling was not damaged and asked, "Turt?"
"You know, like Gurren Lagann and all the cool ones with the big robots. I'm sure they're fine, right? They didn't explode or anything." Hilbert scratched his cheek. "I'm probably just seeing things."
"Turt."
Hilbert blinked. "Now that I'm thinking about it, that was a weird Pikachu, I don't think I've seen one with a scarf in the wild before. Do you think we'll ever see them again?"
"Wig."
"Yeah, I know. right?" Hilbert laughed. "What are the odds? It would probably take a miracle."
As a comet began rounding the far side of the sun, its inhabitant stirred for a moment.
"Achoo!"
Jirachi jerked, swaddled in blankets within their miraculously cozy home. The walls were smooth and rather baby blue for being made of ancient ice, but it was also rather warm on the inside.
"Five more decades, Arceus," they murmured, before rolling over. A blanket appeared from incredibly thin air and fluttered down on them as they fell back to sleep.
Hilbert lowered his arm to his side and jumped as he turned.
A boy he had not seen before stopped shielding his eyes, instead nodding with an impressed look. Next to the boy was a Cyndaquil, who was pumping their paws as if they were fists.
"Awesome battle, I've gotta say. Totally cool. Radical, even," the boy said.
"Uh… thanks."
"I'm Percy, by the way" he said, hands still in his pockets. "The big cheese. The circle among squares. The peak of Cool in a world of Uncool."
"I can hear the capital letters, you must be serious," Hilbert said, simultaneously wondering why a sense of dread was forming in his stomach.
"Definitely." Percy nodded, though the red and black spikes in his hair remained still. "Though Stallone is only second in Cool-mand, since fire is his whole thing."
"Quil!" they added, puffing up their chest and the spiky flames on their back.
Odhran stared at the other Pokémon for a moment, then up at Hilbert in confusion.
Mentally, he said, "I don't know either, bud." Aloud, he said, "Right."
"Anyway," Percy continued, barging past that topic with all the grace of a charging Bouffalant, "Some geezer in Chocco Town was complaining about a Pikachu around here. I was looking for it but you had it handled by the time I caught up. Thanks for that, guy."
"No problem, I guess. I'm Hilbert," he said. "And this is Odhran."
"Cool," Percy said, before Odhran could make their introductory cry. "Anyway, I'll see you around."
With that, the boy and his Cyndaquil walked off without a second glance.
Hilbert, after a moment, rubbed his eyes.
"Is everyone this weird in Tunod?" he asked Odhran.
The Turtwig just gave him a look and raised a hairless eyebrow.
Chocco Town was only a mile or so away from Glenwood when one took the marked, straight-forward path. When taking the zigzagging, meandering path that Hilbert did, the short hike would last until sunset.
The mud on the side of the road did look an awful lot like chocolate, he noted as he leaned over to inspect it.
"Wig," Odhran warned with a chirp right in his ear. They had tired themselves out sooner rather than later, and Hilbert could take the extra weight on his back.
"I'm not gonna eat it," he complained before turning back towards the main road. He spared a glance.
"Wig!"
"Just messing with you," Hilbert said, waving his free arm as they approached the town proper. "Do you need to sleep outside to get nutrients? I know we've been outside for a while, but I want to make sure."
"Wig… Turt… Turtwig."
"Either way? Then we can both head inside, it's still pretty cold out." Whoever thought the conference season should start in January ought to have been fired, Hilbert decided, though it made his time frame a lot easier to remember.
He looked between the fancy looking inn and the typical utilitarian Pokémon Center.
"I… don't think I should spend money on hotels just yet," he mumbled. "I think they'd want me to spend it on important things, not luxuries."
"Wig?"
"I'll tell you later. This town doesn't look too busy, there should be some free spots at the Pokémon Center.
As the automatic doors opened, they were buffeted by a rush of warm air. Odhran, reptilian as they were, shuddered at the change in temperature.
Hilbert hobbled up to the counter and waved to Nurse Joy. "Evening, sorry for coming in late. Can I check in for a bed?" He pulled out of his trainer's license with practiced efficiency using one hand.
She smiled, took his license and tapped on the keyboard behind the counter for a few seconds. "You're lucky; we only have a few left." She handed his license back. "Lots of visitors recently, it seems like Team Fusion are looking into this part of the region."
Team Fusion was a conglomerate of Technical Machine producers, tourism companies, and all sorts of businesses. They had not expanded far out of Tunod yet, but on his way to the region, he saw one of their resorts in a pamphlet.
"Cool, thanks. And, uh, I hate to ask but it's not standard everywhere, do the shower rooms have any stalls with seats?"
She nodded. "It'll be the last one from the entrance when you walk in."
"Awesome." He picked up Odhran with one arm and headed for the men's wing. He paused and looked over his shoulder. "Oh, and sorry for tracking mud in. I'll go deal with it."
She smiled again. "It's no trouble, sleep well!"
Glynnes (of Glenwood!) was having a pretty good day, if she said so herself.
After totally-accidentally-really-didn't-mean-too-y smashing the Professor's window (again), she'd managed to get Macha before anyone else, meet someone new (though he was probably boring like everyone that wasn't her or a Pokémon), take all the nice pictures of her and Macha for all the nice mother Combusken type humans in Glenwood, and then have her first official battle (with someone else who was probably boring, even if he had spiky hair and a Cyndaquil)!
So yes, it was a pretty good day, though she felt like something was missing…
She was struck by an epiphany.
Her eyes widened and she pounded her fist into an open palm. In unison, Macha did the same, as any true partner and long-time friend would.
"I forgot to ask Odhran's partner for a battle!"
Nearly halfway to Northcoast Town, a boy with spiky hair and a Cyndaquil had the exact same realization.
It was like an Orréan standoff.
On one end, standing in a small puddle on the tile, was Odhran, ready to roll at any moment.
On the other end was Hilbert, sans shirt and wearing his waterproof windbreaker like an apron on his waist.
"Odhran, you are getting a bath," Hilbert said, holding the sprayer in his free hand like a pistol, "And you are gonna like it."
"Wig!"
"Plants are supposed to like water, aren't they?" Hilbert complained. His brow furrowed further,
He experimentally shot another spray of water at Odhran.
From the moment he held down the handle, Odhran withdrew into themself and formed a bluish-bubble. The stream, as it had many times before, washed around the sphere and onto the ground, but did not make contact.
Hilbert sighed. "I really don't get you. You're not weak to water at all!"
Odhran chirped back at him and matched his tempo, in a pitch so high they could have been mocking him.
"I'll wrestle you if I have to," Hilbert warned. "I don't need two legs to get you in a grapple."
"Wig-tu-wig-twig," Odhran chirped back, mocking him further.
Hilbert shot forward, almost slipping on the tile and just barely keeping his balance. He slid on his good leg towards Odhran, crouching low and letting his bad leg glide harmlessly across the water. He cornered Odhran with his cane.
Odhran hopped to the side, hoping to get just out of Hilbert's reach, but they did not account for the cane.
As such, they were clacked on the side, not harming them but bringing them inwards towards Hilbert's chest.
"Gotcha! Now, let me get that…" Hilbert paused as he began spinning. Looking down, he saw Odhran balancing on the stomach portion of their shell. It was slow to begin with, considering the weight Hilbert had on them, but soon enough…
Nurse Joy poked her head in a few minutes later. She was a nurse; she had learned away all fears of indecency in pursuit of better care. Dealing with some noise could not be that difficult, right?
"Blugugubbubububub," a half naked brown haired boy unintelligibly sputtered, his body a blur as he spun on the slick tiled floor. Water was jetting out in every direction except inward. Even so, the boy refused to let go.
A cane was sticking out of the wall, half-embedded and dripping with water.
She let the locker room door slowly swing shut. Maybe she should have taken a page from Doctor Joy's book and gone into psychiatry.
AN:
Pokémon Glazed is a personal favorite rom hack of mine. I'll be following Blazed Glazed (which is something of a mod) in terms of Pokémon available, because I played that to completion thinking that it was the final, official version of Glazed (which it is not).
Hilbert is the name I use for the male protagonist of Black and White, and I use versions of him for most of my fics. It's something about his design; there's the potential for maturity there, the confidence, but his clothes, his hair, and the hat imply a little bit of rugged, teenage goofiness.
The cane is something I included in earlier drafts of this fic because I read complaints about fanfic in general not having enough disabled journey protagonists. I'm not getting into that discussion, but what I hope to do is make Hilbert's personality more important than how he happens to walk. His leg is never getting fixed, but it does play into some larger ideas I want to include.
Glynnes is what I've named the female protagonist of Pokémon Glazed. Her gimmick is Gaelic names. Macha is a Gaelic name, as is Odhran.
Professor Willow may read like sort of a jerk. This is intentional. I have an alternate version of him painstakingly describing each of the starters, but this way implies more conflict and shows more characterization.
As for the male protagonist…
;)
Percy is one of the main rivals from Glazed. His gimmick is the names of action hero actors.
For the tone, I'm hoping to achieve a balance of the realism and anxiety that comes from living in such a dangerous world and the inherent silliness of the teenage years along with the small things you don't really appreciate.
Let me know if you'd like to see more of this story. Reviews are appreciated. I have a problem with burnout. If you've played Glazed (or even if you haven't!), let me know what you'd like to see in the future.