Don't own characters from Marvel or certain other infamous vampire movies. Well a lot of you have been asking me if I planned to do something with vampires. At first I had no clue, until I watched a certain movie from 1975 and had a wild idea. See if you can guess what movie I'm talking about.

Date With a Vampire

Chapter 1: How the Count Got His Groove On

Somewhere in Northern California there perched a lonely mansion that looked more like it came out of Northern Transylvania than the coast. Actually it was from Northern Transylvania. It's owner had bought it back from the now defunct communist government in the early 80's when originally it had been taken to provide housing for Olympic gymnasts. Despite the painstaking recreation right down to the moss in the dungeons the owner felt no peace in the house. This was partially due to the wolves howling outside.

"Children of the Night…HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO SHUT THE HELL UP?" A tall man dressed in a tuxedo and flowing cape shouted out the window. He bore an eerie resemblance to George Hamilton right down to the tan, which was especially odd since he was Vladimir Dracula the most infamous vampire who ever lived.

And right now he was having the hissy fit of a lifetime. "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO HOWL AT THE EXACT SAME TIME OF THE NIGHT ANYWAY? CAN'T YOU TAKE A NIGHT OFF OR SOMETHING? WOULD IT REALLY KILL YOU? AND HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO FOLLOW ME ALL THE WAY FROM TRANSYLVANIA ANYWAY?"

"Master please," A hunched, blond little man with thick red glasses begged. "Such a display does not befit you."

"Well who the hell else am I going to yell at now that…" Dracula choked. "My wife has left me…PERSONAL SPACE MY VAMPIRE BUTT!"

"Master I'm sure the Mistress will come back to her senses soon."

"Oh how I wish she would Reinfield," Dracula sighed as he slumped away from the window. "My life is so empty now that she is gone. Well technically I don't really have a life since I am undead but you get the picture. Oh Cindy, Cindy why did you abandon me? I will never understand women. I made her my vampire bride. Gave her immortal youth and took her away from that boring modeling job to become Queen of the Undead. Take her on trips around the world to find new blood supplies and dance by the moonlight. I even got this wonderfully dingy castle back for her. Look at those curtains Reinfield, we picked them out together. They went so well with our coffins…." He started to sob.

"Oh boy," Reinfield sighed and rolled his eyes. "It's gonna be one of those nights. Master please. She's only been gone two weeks. Two long agonizing weeks. Two long agonizing weeks full of pain woe and torture…"

"I know you are trying to cheer me up Reinfield," Dracula sighed. "But it's just not working."

"Well it was worth a shot," Reinfield shrugged and took a case out from his pocket. "Water beetle?" He offered one to his master.

Dracula looked at him. "Uh…no thanks I gave it up for Lent," He muttered an excuse.

"Oh well," Reinfield shrugged as he gulped it down. "Master if the Mistress is not returning, perhaps it is time for you to find a new bride."

"Are you mad?" Dracula snapped. "There is no one who can replace my wonderful Cindy!"

"Well you shouldn't say that Master," Reinfield took out several pictures of women. "There's certainly a huge selection to choose from. Just take a look at some of these."

"Reinfield even if I did want another bride and that is a very big if," Dracula took the pictures. "Where will I find someone that will come even close to her? I mean look at these women. They are so thin. I have seen more meat in a peasant's potato soup!"

"Well not all of them are models Master," Reinfield encouraged. "Just take a look."

"I don't even know why I am humoring you," Dracula grumbled. "There's nothing here I want to see. Too thin, too old, too young…of course I am nearly seven hundred years old but that's beside the point. None of these women can even hold a candle to my beloved, my soul mate, my…My god who is that?" His jaw dropped when he saw the last picture.

"I saw her on the news Master," Reinfield told him. "She is a mutant who can control the weather. They call her Storm. Yes I admit that she doesn't look anything like Cindy…"

"Cindy who?" Dracula snapped. "Reinfield we have a winner! Prepare my coffin! We go immediately to…Where is she from?"

"New York sir, in the town of Bayville."

"Bay-ville," Dracula rolled the name off his tongue. "Yes we shall go there. She is exquisite. How does that saying go again? Oh yes…Baby has a back!"

So what happens when Dracula comes a courting? You got it, a lot of insanity!