Putting the Bite on a Romantic Evening

Dracula managed to get Ororo to the park where they could be alone. Unfortunately they weren't. "Master this is such a lovely spot," Reinfield grinned happily as he followed them.

"Yes, a perfect place where people can be alone!" Dracula growled.

"But we are alone Master," Reinfield told him. "Just the three of us."

"Reinfield go chase a mosquito or something will you?" Dracula sighed.

"Oh okay…" He beamed and romped off into the bushes.

"Sorry," Dracula apologized. "He was dropped on his head when he was a baby. For a day…"

"Well you're not the only one who needs to apologize…" Ororo sighed as they sat on a park bench.

"Shhh," Dracula put a finger to her lips. "You have nothing to apologize for. A woman as lovely as you should never apologize for anything."

"But I trashed a dance club with my powers," Ororo told him.

"Well these things happen," Dracula shrugged. "But I too understand what it means to give into your dark impulses. Being a creature of darkness I have grown used to the cold, but now I see the warmth of the light in your eyes."

"Oh Vlad…" Ororo sighed. "It's just been a crazy evening. And my being followed by my friends…for lack of a better word hasn't helped."

"Well I wasn't going to say anything but they do have a knack for killing the mood," Dracula agreed.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be constantly followed?" Ororo groaned.

Just then the howling of several wolves could be heard. "Actually…I have a pretty good idea," Dracula sighed as he stood up. "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL TO SHUT UP? WHAT ARE YOU STALKING ME HERE? SHOO! GO AWAY!"

"Wolves!?" Ororo yelped. "Here?"

"Oh don't worry they never attack," Dracula waved his hand. "They just follow me around all the time making that racket. It's enough to wake the dead! And I should know!" He stiffened.

"What is it?" Ororo asked.

"We are not alone…" Dracula looked around. "I sense the presence of another. A scaly serpentine presence hidden in the shadows…And I don't mean Reinfield's lunch…"

"XI!" Ororo shouted. "COME ON OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!" The scaled mutant made himself visible right in front of them. "What are you doing here?"

"Spying on you," Xi said matter of factly. "And that non human here," He pointed to Dracula.

"How did you know I was a vampire?" Dracula asked.

"I didn't," Xi said. "I just know you're not a human due to my senses."

"You're a what?" Ororo blinked.

"A vampire," Dracula told her. "I told you that I was a creature of the night."

"I thought you were making some kind of romantic hyperbole!" Ororo glared at him.

"He does manage to do that a lot," A bat said as it flew by them and crashed right into a tree. "OUCH! I HATE IT WHEN I DO THAT!" It transformed into a beautiful blonde woman wearing a silver outfit. "Oh crap! I got grass stains on my new outfit!"

"Cindy!" Dracula blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"That's what I came to ask you!" Cindy got off the ground and stormed up to him. "It's a good thing I had the wolves track you down!"

"Oh really? THANKS A LOT YOU SNITCHES!" Dracula shouted at the wolves. The wolves howled back. "Oh yeah! SAME TO YOU!"

"You're a vampire too?" Ororo blinked.

"A married vampire," Cindy folded her arms. "To him."

"WHAT?" Ororo shouted as she jumped up.

"Hold on!" Dracula pointed at Cindy. "You ran off and left me! Who are you to complain?"

"You said your wife was dead!" Ororo shouted.

"Hello? Vampire?" Dracula told her. "You can't say I lied to you. I just didn't tell you the entire truth!"

"Ha! I've heard that before!" Cindy snorted. "Let me guess, you were gonna bite her three times and make her your new bride huh? I hope at least you didn't turn into a dog first and lick her feet!"

"CINDY!" Dracula snapped. "It's not as if I do it with everyone you know! Unlike some people!"

"What does that mean?" Cindy put her hands on her hips.

"I'm not exactly the only one that goes prowling around licking strange feet now am I?" Dracula snapped.

"Oh no not the Johnny Depp thing again!" Cindy groaned. "I have a thing for him! Sue me! At least I didn't go flying around Paris Hilton's hotel room as a bat!"

"You know perfectly well that was an accident!" Dracula snapped. "You're the one who told me our room was 24B when it was actually 24C!"

"Actually I told Reinfield that!" Cindy corrected him.

"That's right blame me," Reinfield popped up out of the bushes. "Everybody blames Reinfield when things go wrong. But when things go right do I ever get a pat on the back? Nooooo!"

"You are going to get a hit on the head if you don't…" Dracula snapped.

"HOLD IT!" Ororo shouted. "You're a married vampire and you just up and decided to use me to replace your wife? And when were you going to tell me about all this?"

"Well I was kind of hoping until much later but that's not going to happen now," Dracula fidgeted.

"YOU BET IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN NOW!" Ororo's eyes grew very dark and it started to thunder.

"Uh oh…" Dracula gulped. "I should have stuck with the models…"

Meanwhile the Misfits, X-Men, Joes and Blade were racing to the scene. "You sure that tracer is working?" Logan asked.

"Yeah," Todd nodded. "It was real smart of Xi to follow 'em."

"I just hope she doesn't realize Xi is with her," Shipwreck said.

"I think she just found out," Todd remarked as it started to thunder. "There they are!"

"GOOD!" Blade flashed his sword. "DRACULA! LORD OF ALL VAMPIRES! TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT YOU MEET YOUR DOOM!"

"Oh goody," Dracula sighed. "Just when I thought this evening couldn't get any worse."

What will happen next? What madness will occur? Will Dracula ever get a break? Will the wolves stop following him? Will Cindy become a widow before she decides to file for divorce? How will Shipwreck screw this up? Find out the answers in the next exciting chapter!