The Bat Guano Hits the Fan
"Why is it that I cannot go anywhere without people trying to kill me?" Dracula sighed as Blade, the X-Men and the Misfits surrounded him.
"Do you really have to ask that question?" Cindy snapped at him. She pointed her finger. "You can be the most thickheaded dead person on the planet!"
"Don't you wag your finger at me!" Dracula snapped. "This is all your fault!"
"My fault?" Cindy yelped.
"Yes your fault if you hadn't…WHOA!" Dracula dodged a strike from Blade's sword. "DO YOU MIND? I AM TRYING TO HAVE A PERSONAL CONVERSATION HERE?"
"DIE SPAWN OF HELL!" Blade slashed at him.
"Oh now that's really rude!" Dracula leapt out of range. "Blade has it ever occurred to you that one of the reasons you have problems with women is that you do not know how to be polite?"
"YOU ARE THE LAST PERSON TO LECTURE ANYONE ON WOMEN!" Ororo shouted as the lighting started to crackle.
"Oh boy…" Dracula gulped. "I really have put my foot in it haven't I?"
"Don't expect me to help you," Cindy folded her arms.
"For what you have done to my mentor Jamal Afori!" Blade snarled. "I will carve your meat from your undead bones and let them bleach in the sun!"
"Oh for the love of…" Dracula rolled his eyes and dodged another strike. "That was over fifty years ago! And I only did that because you chopped up my bridge group! I haven't played a decent game of bridge in nearly 60 years!"
"He was my mentor!" Blade snarled. "You turned him into a vampire!"
"And then just because he changed his lifestyle you had to kill him?" Dracula asked as he knocked Blade back with a roundhouse kick. "You have a lot of issues you know that?"
Meanwhile the X-Men, Joes and Misfits watched the fight. "Boy some people are too into their work," Todd remarked.
"Should we be doing something?" Kurt asked.
"About Dracula no," Althea. "He seems to be kind of occupied…That however." She pointed to Shipwreck who was hugging Ororo and she was not happy about it. "We may have to step in."
"ORORO! DARLING!" Shipwreck grabbed Ororo. "Thank goodness you're safe! I knew there was something wrong about that guy! Aren't you glad I followed you?"
"LET GO OF ME!" Ororo grabbed him and started to beat him up. The storm started to crackle above.
"Wow Vlad honey you sure know how to pick 'em," Cindy chuckled. She barely dodged a swing from Blade. "HEY! WATCH IT!"
"DIE BRIDE OF SATAN!" Blade snarled as he advanced on her. Dracula flew over his head and stepped between them.
"Your fight is with me Blade!" Dracula growled. "Leave her alone!"
"She like all of your kind must be slain!" Blade howled.
"Oh well aren't you a little ball of sunshine?" Dracula said sarcastically before he savagely kicked Blade backwards. "Let's get ready to rummmmmbbleeeeee!"
"Hey this is getting good!" Todd remarked.
"Both fights are getting good," Kitty remarked.
"STORM! OW! I'M TRYING TO RESCUE YOU HERE!" Shipwreck was trying to protect himself while holding onto Ororo at the same time. She was beating him up mercilessly.
"SOMEBODY BETTER RESCUE YOU!" Ororo shouted.
"HEY!" Shipwreck jumped back. "I'M NOT THE GUY WHO LIED TO YOU AND TRIED TO MAKE YOU INTO A VAMPIRE!"
"I KNOW THAT! YOU JUST ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF ME!" Ororo kicked him in the shin.
Cindy meanwhile had turned into a bat and Reinfield had taken off running. "Honey! Stop fighting with him so you can fight with me! We have too damn much to talk about for you to get killed now!"
"Not a bad idea…" Dracula gulped as Blade brought out a crossbow. "Some other time perhaps!" Blade shot at him just as he transformed into a bat. He and Cindy flew away.
"You were gonna make that psycho your next bride?" Cindy asked as they flew away.
"Look who's talking!" Dracula snapped back. "Remember when that woman called out fat back in that shop on Rodeo Drive?"
"She deserved it!" Cindy snapped as the two bickered into the night.
"Wow," Kitty blinked. "That was…Weird."
"Kind of a let down after all that huh?" Arcade said.
"I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" Blade howled.
"Oh calm down," Thornn patted him on the back. "I'm sure you'll get him next time."
"Well I think this evening has officially come to an end," Logan sighed.
"Get your hands off me you goon!" Ororo shouted at Shipwreck.
"With the exception of the traditional Shipwreck roast," Hank snickered.
"Come on," Althea waved. "We'll take the X-Van back." The Misfits took off leaving the others behind.
"What about Shipwreck?" Todd asked.
"He can get his own ride!" Althea snapped. "If Storm has her way he'll be flying back to the Pit on a tornado."
"Yeah this van is crowded enough," Pietro remarked as they squeezed in. "We should have left the triplets behind!"
"Why because you think we're too young?" Daria asked.
"No because you hog all the seats!" Althea got into the driver's seat.
"Well Blob takes up a lot of room you know?" Quinn said.
"Oh shut up and get your elbow out of my ear!" Fred snapped.
They finally fit into the van and drove off. "Well that was fun night. Vampires, that's a new one for us!" Althea remarked.
"Is it me or is Dracula not as bad as the hype says he is?" Lance asked.
"He does seem to have lost his edge doesn't he?" Arcade remarked.
"His fighting wasn't bad," Xi remarked. "Quite impressive actually."
"Yeah for a dead guy," Todd remarked.
"Thank you," A bat popped his head out of the backseat.
"AAHHHHHHHH!" Everyone in the van screamed.
"Way to go honey!" Another bat popped out. Soon both Dracula and Cindy transformed back into their normal selves. "Nice entrance!"
"Well at least I didn't bump into a tree!" Dracula snapped.
"Oh great now this van is even more crowded!" Quinn groaned.
"What are you doing here?" Lance shouted.
"Having a sing a long with Madonna," Dracula said. "What do you think I am doing here?"
"HE'S GONNA EAT US!" Todd screamed. "I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!"
"I AM NOT GOING TO EAT YOU!" Dracula snapped. "I'd sooner eat Reinfield! And believe me I do not want to eat Reinfield. By the way where is he?"
"I thought he was following you," Cindy remarked.
"No I thought he was with you…" Dracula said.
"No he was behind you, that's why…"Cindy began.
"HOLD IT!" Althea stopped the van. "Why are you in here in the first place?"
"To escape that psychotic maniac that's why!" Dracula told her. "Unfortunately she's followed me here."
"Oh talk about the pot calling the kettle black…" Cindy groaned.
"Hold on!" Althea shouted. "And the reason you people didn't go back to your vehicle is?"
"Well I kind of forgot where we parked," Dracula sighed. "Any port in a storm. What do you expect? Reinfield does all the driving."
"That's it! He must have gone back to the car and driven to wherever you were staying," Cindy said.
"Where are you staying?" Fred asked.
"Bayville Plaza," Dracula told them. "It's very nice. Would you mind giving us a ride?"
"Sure! Why not?" Althea rolled her eyes. "Might as well make a night of it!"
What happens when the Misfits drive around with Dracula? More madness and another enemy from Drac's past appears! Here's a hint, its another character from 'Love at First Bite' and an old flame of Cindy's!