Darkness in the Twilight
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
By Psycho Ferret and LunarCrystal
Twin Stars in the Twilight
Hans had, just as Ethan had thought, begun to take a bit better care of himself. Still there were times when he would go without eating, but more often he would relent without much argument. It wasn't until later, a few days later in fact, that Angelina questioned why Hans didn't hold her the same way, and eventually asked about the odd bulge that appeared in place of his left arm. So weakened still by her month long state of being bedridden, she was forced to depend on others to carry her around for a while until her muscles redeveloped - Gunter showing her father's some good exercises for her that she was required to do everyday.
It was after one of these sessions, when she had requested to nap with Hans, that the questions arose. "Hans," began Angelina quietly, laying calmly upon the bed dressed in a pretty blue dress, "Where's your arm?"
Well, children weren't really known for their sense of tact.
Hans had expected the question for a long while... but he wasn't prepared for it. For a long moment, he was silent, fumbling. How would he have explained it to his sister? "They took it," he said softly, a faint frown tugging at his lips. It still hurt to think of it. "It... didn't work anymore."
Although Hans might have shown remorse with such news, to a six year old, it was just another thing to deal with - and nothing was permanent when you're six. "Well, will it grow back? A new one?" asked Angelina nonchalantly, turning to snuggle into his empty left side.
"Nein, katzchen, not on its own." However, if he was lucky--which he doubted he would be--it would be replaced. Hans sighed softly, shaking his head a little. He could only hope.
"Why do you sound so sad, Hans?" asked Angelina curiously, reaching up to touch his lips tenderly, to feel if he was smiling or frowning - and just to feel him. He was almost as soft as her own father, after they shaved him that morning, and she loved to run her fingertips over the smoothness of his cheek.
"I wish I had it back, katzchen... it doesn't feel right without it." Hans sighed softly, turning his head a little to look at her. She was so gentle, so kind, so accepting. But why would she be anything else? She was, after all, an angel, just as he name said. "I can't hold you right anymore... I can't do things I used to, not like this."
"You can still hold me right, Hans," said the little girl innocently, and she put her arms around his middle, squeezing him tightly, "See? I can hold you, and I'll just help you hold me if you need it - since you helped me. It's only fair. And my father says you always need to be fair to people who are nice to you . . ."
"You're too kind, katzchen," he murmured softly, a small smile curling at the edges of his lips. Allen and the others taught her well, that much was for sure. No matter how spoiled she might be... she was still a good soul.
Angelina sighed, snuggling into Hans fondly. "How come walking makes me so tired?" she asked for the fifth time that hour, as if she kept forgetting her inquiry. It was still odd for her, to hardly be able to take a step without falling to the floor, where any one of her uncles or her father would have to pick her back up and carry her to where she wanted to go - which was usually outside, but only if Hans was willing to join her.
Secretly, she wondered if what she felt was how her Uncle Gaddes felt. Father had told her that he was lazy and he got around different, sitting down all the time now - she wondered out loud, "Maybe I can get a chair like Uncle Gaddes'. Then I won't be so tired anymore . . ."
Ah, to be an innocent child again . . .
"You'll be fine soon enough," he murmured... thankful that she changed the subject. The talk of his arm always made him uncomfortable and most were tactful enough to avoid it. To think of the young child in a wheelchair, however... it was rather horrific, really. The imagery of it was startling. "You won't need it after awhile."
"She should never have to need one," said Gaddes from the doorway of his room. He had placed Angelina upon his own bed after her exercise session with her father and Gunter, and for some reason, begrudgingly allowed Hans to lay down with her. He had only come in for a moment, to check if she was still asleep - when he came upon the last of their conversation.
The thought of his daughter - using a chair like his own was simply frightening. She should never have to need one, already blind as she was. "I thought you might have been asleep, Angelina. You should rest," he told the girl, coming up next to her.
"I am resting," she insisted softly, yawning and closing her eyes, "I just wanted to talk to Hans. Uncle Gaddes, when can I go outside to run again?" Gaddes looked at her for a long moment, the pain literally stinging his heart.
"Very soon, my princess," he answered, "but don't think on that now. Just go to sleep." As if on cue, Angelina yawned again and buried her head into the pillow, just about ready to doze off.
Hans was silent... Gaddes was right, of course, and his thoughts mirrored Hans's own. She should never have need of one or any other aids for any handicaps. Though he did admit to himself that later she would likely need a cane of sorts. She shouldn't have had to... she never should have been blind in the first place. He waited until she fell asleep before he glanced over towards Gaddes. He would leave if the man wished it.
But Gaddes did not ask Hans to leave - at least, not in the sense the Basram soldier might have been expecting, and surprised him when the sergeant said, "Will you follow me to the parlor? We need to talk."
Hans paused, then inclined his head in a nod. He would not deny them after they had done so much for him. Careful not to wake Angelina, he stood, still a little awkward without one of his arms, and followed the other man out and to the parlor.
As amiably as he could, Gaddes offered the seat upon the couch for Hans to make himself comfortable, with Gaddes simply adjusting his own chair, rolling in back and forth to properly face the man. Once Hans had taken a seat, the sergeant found it difficult to keep his gaze from the floor, or from his feet where they seemed so far away from him and detached.
"I thought it was time that we . . . talked - you and me," he began quietly.
"Ja?" Hans said softly, almost... hesitantly. Would he be sent back to Basram? Or simply pushed out of this home? Hans didn't know what to expect.
"I know that we haven't really gotten along," said Gaddes, anxiously gripping the rims of his wheels, occasionally pushing himself back up into his chair when he'd begun to slouch and slip. He swallowed, hating feeling so strange and only really thinking about it when his mind wasn't occupied with being Allen's second in command.
"I think . . . it's pretty obvious - that I know what you're going through."
Hans blinked a little, looking at Gaddes. This, he hadn't expected. "Ah... ja," he said softly, inclining his head a little. He could tell Gaddes was anxious, nervous... he, himself, felt much the same way. This talk had been a bit in coming, after all, he should have expected it. But even if he did, it was hard to actually follow through with it.
Then Gaddes let out a nervous laugh, sort of a huff and chuckle of amusement while he turned his head away to look at anything in the room but Hans or himself. "I honestly can't think of anything to say," he managed with a slight grin, "it's - awkward. Being like this, isn't it?"
"Ah?" The Basram was silent for a moment, slightly shocked, then nodded a little, even though Gaddes didn't see it. He glanced at his own knees awkwardly. "It... it is." They were both soldiers at one time, so used to being mobile, useful, unhindered by injury. And now... they were a pair of cripples.
It was such a sensitive subject, especially to the two of them - who have both so recently been debilitated, after being strong and fighting battles. But the war was over now, things have begun to settle down, and despite all the injured and maimed soldiers that resulted from the battles with Basram, so too should they settle down.
It was a hard thing to accept, being discharged from the army he had grown so used to serving, but Gaddes had a family now - not the multitude of people he had back home, but his own family, a daughter and a partner to love. It was too soon, he thought, to accept retirement, to live out the rest of his days in seclusion. Too soon for being so young. He was still young, still had many years ahead of him - and Hans was even younger than he. Only nineteen.
"We can't give up," he told Hans, finally looking him in the eyes and letting his thoughts speak for him, "Because we're both still young. You're nineteen. Soldier or not, you've got a lot of life left to live. And so do I. So do we all. Hell, Allen is younger than I am. We've got a lot left to do, you and I. And Angelina - loves you," he strained, blinking at the sudden sting in his eyes, "You know? You - need to take care of her after Allen and I are gone . . . and when she grows up."
Hans listened silently to the other man's words. Gaddes was young... but he was still wise enough. "Which hopefully will be awhile," he said softly, shaking his head. They were good people... the world needed more of them. "I can't take care of her myself... at least not right now, after all. I still have to get used to..." He trailed off after a moment, shaking his head. "I still have to get used to this." Angelina was precious to all of them. She was a light in their otherwise rather dark lives. The thought of losing her, of seeing her so close to death... well, they had all seen what it had done to him. There was no denying that he would be good to her, that he was kind to her.
Gaddes let out another embittered huff, and he looked at Hans carefully then. "I'm still getting used to it," he told him.
"Ja..." But Gaddes had a longer time of being a soldier, he had a longer time to adjust from. Hans didn't think it would be an easy time for either of them, in fact, he knew it wouldn't be.
"The point of all of this," he said finally, "is that you've still got a chance. I know I won't walk again . . . but Zaibach offered their services to you - as a soldier of Asturia." Gaddes said the last quietly, most likely surprising the ex-Basram soldier, "So the Crusade leaves tomorrow morning to take you to one of their hospitals. We're all going. But . . . Allen insisted that I be the one to tell you."
Hans was silent for a long moment, looking at Gaddes. It was shocking, really, and it did make things... better, easier. And it certainly made it easier for Gaddes to speak to him about it. After all... they were much the same in some aspects. "Ah... dan--thank you."
"Don't thank me," said Gaddes honestly, maneuvering backwards to get around the coffee table, "You should be thanking Allen. He's the one that did the work - I'm just the messenger." Suddenly he got stuck, too distracted with his own embarrassment to gauge the correct distance away from the coffee table to move around it. Muttering curses under his breath, he pulled back and forth to try to free himself, but each time ended up stopping short. "Okay, this is ridiculous," giving up with a heavy sigh and leaning his elbows on his numb knees.
Hans stood quietly. No, it was right to thank Gaddes for helping him, for telling him this, for... being courageous enough to do so. The young man walked over behind him, looping his one arm around his chest and tugging him back. Gods... what a sight that would be, surely. Ridiculous. But it was something of a truce between them, really.
"Tell me when it's enough, ja?" It took a little bit of work to get a grip good enough to pull him away from the table, but Hans was stubborn about it.
Gaddes' front caster wheel pulled free with Hans' help, yanking out from where it got caught in a decorative groove of the coffee table leg. The arm that had snaked around his chest was soon removed, but Gaddes looked up at Hans - long enough to give him a grateful, yet thoroughly embarrassed smile.
"I guess I should be thanking you now, huh?" he quirked, looking around himself, at his wheels, then relenting, "Would you - mind so much? If you pushed me out?"
"We're even," he said softly, offering a little smile. He didn't complain at the request... in fact, he was rather proud of it. After all... it was like Gaddes was finally accepting him. Hand braced at the back of the chair, he pushed with it, nudging it along with his hip. It was a little odd at first... but he didn't mind.
~
Gaddes was only partly accurate when it came to traveling directly to Zaibach to visit their hospitals. Allen did make arrangements for Hans to finally get his arm replaced, but he was still concerned for his own daughter's mobility. Her muscles were so weak that they could not support her properly, and had ended up spending many days in Gaddes' lap after she had awakened from her coma.
While the exercises that Gunter showed them helped somewhat, in that she was actually able to move her legs again, they did not help in regaining the strength to support her weight. Zaibach promised they would help, still within the last days of contract with the Allied Nations to help in the aftermath of the war. The procedure for Angelina was simple for the Zaibach doctors, attaching strange nodes to her thin little legs while she slept peacefully - electric stimulation, as it was explained to her fathers.
While Angelina was being treated, Hans was fitted with a new prosthetic. Microsurgery, they called it, to fit the new limb to his shoulder. It was a newer model than what Gaddes and Allen remembered seeing on Folken's right side - not a hideous claw shaped hand, but just normal, rounded metal fingertips, and a function that allowed the limb to be detached at the shoulder.
Hans was a little frightened of the idea of losing more of his arm to replace the entirety of it. The lightweight metal plates were the same cold grey that everything about Zaibach seemed to be, carefully covering the wires that were hidden within. It had been attached to his shoulder in a painful process that was done while he was under a heavy curtain of painkillers that settled him to sleep. The arm was detachable, but, like the attaching of it the first time, it would be painful with the pieces locking into place against his flesh.
Even the Basram was astonished at how much like a normal arm it functioned. The weight of it was odd and unfamiliar, a little clumsy at first. But, with the Zaibach doctors' help, he was slowly becoming much more efficient with it. Gunter was at his side as usual, aiding him with what he could. When he was released, proclaimed fit to work it on his own, he was offered a pair of gloves by Allen. Not to protect his hands, no... but to guard the silver digits from view if he so wished.
Hans was grateful for it. While, yes, he would have to deal with the ugly, cold, inhuman color of it, he could at least hide it from others' view.
While Hans recovered, so did Angelina - though hers was a little bit faster than Hans'. The look of absolute joy on Gaddes' face when Angelina came out of her room, running up to him - it was indescribable. Her recovery wasn't really a recovery - more of a learning process that she needed to go through as she was quickly growing up. Zaibach had given her a white metal cane.
Oh, she was very excited about it, proclaiming that she could now get around by herself - though the doctor had come out with her hands behind her back and a very glad, repressed smile on her lips. Dr. Bethesda Zimmerman was more than happy to see the girl up and about again.
"I thought you would want her to start learning to get around properly," she said to Allen and Gaddes as the girl was being given lessons with her new cane in a large room.
"Yes... yes, it would be good that she learns now. I'm sure it would be harder for her when she was older," he said softly, speaking from his own experience. Of course, part of his problem with it was his own stubbornness. He inclined his head a little, a small smile on his lips as he watched his daughter. It was wonderful, really, for her to be able to walk again, her way of easily bouncing back from a problem... it was reassuring.
"She's very quick on her feet," remarked Dr. Zimmerman with a smile, looking down at Gaddes and receiving a smile in return. She then turned to Allen, her face somewhat somber, her brow slightly furrowed. "Sir Schezar, I was wondering if I might have a word with you? Privately?"
Allen blinked a little, arching a brow... then nodded. He squeezed Gaddes' shoulder, gently, then walked quietly over to her. "Of course you may, doctor."
Dr. Zimmerman led him to a corner of the room, still watching Angelina as she swept her cane before her excitedly to find obstacles with a nurse beside her and her uncle near her, watching as well. The doctor settled down into a chair, and motioned that Allen should do the same while she opened the little girl's health chart.
"It's nothing really to worry about - but we found something about Angelina," said Dr. Zimmerman carefully, "Her cell structure - her DNA. Sir Schezar, who was your daughter's mother?"
Allen sighed softly, bowing his head a little. No one had questioned before, no one had said anything. But they couldn't keep that hidden forever. Surely the doctor didn't even need to ask, if she had already suspected something because of it.
"She is purely my family's daughter," he said simply, his voice soft. It would be hard to explain the circumstances if they needed to be so. Celena and he had been so much more than siblings, even before their relationship. They hadn't grown up around each other, didn't know each other's faces the same way they might have otherwise.
Dr. Zimmerman pursed her lips, suspecting that the saddened man before her felt extremely guilty for fathering a child through incest. But the news she had was not bad, nor did she intend to admonish him for something that was none of her personal concern. Rather, "We've found some rather remarkable things about her, Sir Allen, due to your . . . decision to have her with . . . family? Uh - your sister, I'm guessing?"
"Yes, Celena was my sister." Allen looked at her. He did feel guilty for it, though he had loved Celena, because of their coupling she had turned out blind. "But... remarkable, how so?" The blonde quirked a brow, slightly surprised.
"Sir Schezar, I must be quite frank with you," said Bethesda, looking Allen directly into his eyes so that she might impress upon him her astonishment, "You daughter was not only conceived through incest, something which most children born from such relationships wouldn't survive, let alone come out normal enough to live with brain damage - but she has a miraculous constitution. Tell me, Sir Schezar - has she ever gotten sick? A cold? A fever?"
"Ah? Not... that I recall, really." Allen pursed his lips slightly, thinking back. Now that it was brought to his attention... she hadn't as far as he could remember. He had known of the risks of having children through incest, knew of the low survival rate, the horrid disabilities... of which, she had come out with one.
"So - the only thing really wrong with her is her sight. She has none. Underdeveloped optic nerves to the point of being nonexistent. Yet she is extremely intelligent, clever, resilient with gunshot wounds, asphyxiation, coma, and strength," said the amazed doctor, taking Allen's hand in her vehemence and excitement, "Do you have any idea what that means?"
"That... she's a blessing?" Ha-ha... they had named her correctly. Not just a blessing. She was amazing. He'd always known she was a cut above most children her age. She learned things so quickly, she asked things that most children wouldn't, she was utterly curious.
"She's more than that," said Dr. Zimmerman strongly, searching Allen's face and squeezing his hand, "She is phenomenal. A miracle. By the gods, Sir Allen - please continue raising her with nothing but the best of quality and care."
Allen smiled softly, nodding to her. "I wouldn't do anything but," he said softly. As any other good parent would be at such praise of their child, he was... ecstatic. Not only had she simply brushed aside what he'd expected to be coming at his incestuous relationship, but she was completely praising the girl.
"Father!" called Angelina, having been given praise by the nurse that was teaching her how to use her cane and was suddenly bouncing on her feet excitedly, "Father, where are you?" Gaddes could only look over to Allen with a wide smile, leaning his elbow on his knee and his chin in his hand.
Allen glanced over, then back at the doctor, grinning and nodding to her. "Excuse me," he murmured, standing and padding over to the girl's side, crouching down hear her and ruffling her curls. "Right here, princess, I'm right here. What's that you've got there?" Oh, he knew well enough... but he simply beamed. Obviously what he'd been told was good news.
Angelina twirled dramatically and presented the cane before her, "My super duper tool of perimeter exploration!" she said, frowning before turning her head slightly to the nurse, "Wait - did I say that right? Let me try again . . ." she cleared her throat, "My new industrial strength radar and search device. Three hundred uses in one." She giggled.
Allen chuckled, leaning forward and kissing her forehead. "Wonderful. So you're all grown up now, aren't you, mm?" She could move about on her own to a certain degree... but that didn't mean Allen wouldn't be paranoid about it. He'd still have someone near her for awhile, of course.
Angelina nodded happily, keeping her cane in front of her in the idle position she was shown when she wasn't walking. "Dr. Zimmerman said I can go home today. And I want to, father - to try out my new toy. Did he grow back his arm? Is Hans better now? "
"Ah... he should be."
"Ja, Katzchen," he said softly from the doorway, the grey metal covered by the long sleeves he wore, the gloves. It looked... normal, really. "It's back." Different, she would later learn, but it was there nonetheless.
"Hans!" she said happily, forgetting her cane in her hand and running over to where she heard Hans' voice. Gaddes carefully caught her before she ran straight into his wheel, cuddling her for a second and giving her a kiss.
"Careful, princess!" he said delightedly, "Remember your cane now." Angelina blushed as she was set down, using her cane as she was shown to make sure there were no more obstructions within the room.
"Hans?" she said calmly, though she could hardly suppress her smile as she reached out her hand to him.
Hans crouched down to her height, reaching out to ruffle her hair with now gloved hands. "Ja, careful, Katzchen," he murmured, a small smile curling on his lips. "I can wait a little longer if it means you being safer." Allen watched the pair of them interact. They were fond of one another... they owed each other so much, after all.
"No, no, no!" insisted the adorable little girl, throwing herself onto Hans' large chested, broad-shouldered frame and nuzzling him affectionately, "I want to go home, now, and marry you."
Hans laughed a little. "Nein... not yet, katzchen, not yet. Let you grow a little taller, eh?" He patted her lightly, affectionately on the head, long hair draping over his shoulders.
~
The sun was setting, the light becoming a fiery orange and red that streaked across the horizon, over to the west. In the east, where it was darker, stars had already begun to appear. Though all of this went unnoticed by Angelina, who stood near the lemon tree behind her family's manor, pacing carefully while emitting confident, "One, two, three, four, five . . ." in her small little voice, back and forth from the lemon to the oak, around the hill with her new cane.
In the middle, she stopped, turning and lifting her cane like a baton, "Company! Halt!" she said shrilly, though she was clearly trying to mock her father - somewhat seriously, "You're all good men! You will fight like men! For Honor! For Glory! For Chivalry! I am the greatest Knight Caeli . . . All of you will . . . wait, that's not right . . ."
Hans was settled beside the lemon tree, watching her, a smile on his lips. Had Allen been out there, the scene would have been amusing up to a point. He was still distressed over the knighthood disbanding... and he had a mind to confront Millerna about it, as well. There was no excuse for it, he believed. There were men worthy of the knighthood out there somewhere, it was simply a matter of looking for them.
A soft chuckle rumbled quietly in his throat as he watched her. It was... charming, to say the least.
She pursed her lips, scrunching her nose as she tried to remember which way she was facing to get back to the lemon tree. A little blush reached her porcelain cheeks. "Hans!" called Angelina from the middle of the hill into the air, "Tell me where you are. I lost my concentration."
"Right over here, katzchen," he said softly, watching her. She was cute, absolutely adorable. And it was amazing, really, that anyone could bring a smile to his lips as it had been there before, especially after everything that had happened. But if anyone was able to, it would have been her.
Angelina turned immediately to his voice, using her cane carefully in front of her and made her way to the lemon. She didn't really need it out on the hill, but her fathers insisted that she use it often to get used to it. The tip of her cane gently tapped against Hans' boot, by which she instantly went down on her hands and knees and crawled into his lap, the cane forgotten in the grass.
"I want to be a Caeli Knight like my father," she told Hans, her little arms hugging him around his strong chest and her cheek pressing against the muscle.
"Mm," he murmured, his real arm draped around her. Even though the other limb worked fine enough and he was grateful for it... it was like he was wary of touching her with it. "You'll be in danger, katzchen... Allen, Gaddes... and I won't like it, either. We don't want anything to happen to you."
"But, being a knight means protecting people you love," she argued softly, her little hand reaching up to Hans' face and tracing the curves of his jaw line habitually, "My father is my knight. You're my knight. I want to be a knight for you, Hans. I love you and I want to protect you too."
"It's alright, katzchen... you're a princess, an angel. You do enough even without becoming a knight." He brushed his lips against her forehead gently, a small smile lingering on his lips. "You do more than you know for all of us."
In that moment, it seemed that if people could see each other's hearts, anyone witnessing the Basram soldier and the six year old girl in his lap would see that theirs was one, forged in flames more sacred than that of any blacksmith's fire. The silver of Angelina's hair glowed softly in the dimming twilight of the Gaean sky, mixed with Hans' golden locks as they cascaded over her curls while he embraced her gently . . .
The golden knight and the silver princess is what they were soon to be known as, who held love for each other beyond any fairy tale to describe.
"You'll keep your promise, won't you, Hans?" whispered Angelina thoughtfully, "You'll marry me when I grow up?"
"Of course, katzchen. I'd be more than honored to.." She was a child but she was different from others. Not because of his disability, but because of how much more advanced she was. She had experienced things none others had, she had those around her that were as courageous, loving, as blessed as any others. She was a miracle, an angel as her name bespoke of her.
Hans tugged her closer into a hug, closing his eyes. He did it many times, to see the world as she saw it. Utter darkness. At times, it would be frightening, with them at each other's sides, there was no shadow... simply a light between them as bright, brilliant as any other.
The End