Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. The sonnet used is Shakespeare's sonnet number 19.
A/N: Oh God! Luc! Sorry, let me pull myself together long enough to write this story. Poor Luc. Okay, this takes place, of course, at the funeral. Enjoy and review, in memory of Luc!
The sky was overcast, cloudy and threatened rain and Tru Davies wasn't surprised. Didn't it always seem to rain at funerals? She remembered her mother's funeral clearly, even after twelve years; it had rained and she and Harrison had shared an umbrella. It wasn't raining now but she figured it was about to any minute; she had decided long ago that the rain was there to hide the tears of those unlucky enough to be attending the funeral of their loved one.
From where Tru sat, beside her brother and best friend, she could see the slick and polished coffin that her boyfriend (or the man that had once been her boyfriend) lay inside. His eyes were shut and the look on his face was peaceful and she lulled herself into thinking that he was only sleeping. Tru pushed that thought of her head quickly; it wouldn't do her any good to pretend that reality wasn't what it was.
Lindsay squeezed her hand and Tru looked over at her with a grateful smile on her face. Lindsay's eyes were red and puffy from crying; she and Luc had bonded over that Valentine's Day weekend when they had both spent the entire day in their rooms. She was supposed to be on her honeymoon, sunning beneath the beautiful sky in Fiji. But instead she was here, standing beneath the cloudy sky, trying to put on a brave face for her best friend.
Harrison looked oddly detached and Tru wondered what thoughts were going through his head. Harrison and Luc had hung out a time or two, and Harrison had barely spoken since they had arrived at Bridge Gates Cemetery. He was silent now, as they listened to the preacher speak comforting sounding words that rang false with Tru. The priest hadn't known Luc, didn't know anything about the way he smiled and laughed or how passionate he was about taking pictures. All he knew were the same words about ashes to ashes that the man just like him had said at her mother's funeral.
The preacher finished his words and shut the worn Bible he held in his wrinkled hands. Luc's parents, who she had only met once at a meet-the-parents dinner that had gone rather smoothly, stood and headed over to the coffin to say their last goodbyes before their only son was lowered into ground.
Tru stood as well, but remained where she was standing, and Harrison looked over at her, worry on his features. "Are you all right?" He questioned and Tru gave him a slight nod. She didn't know what she was feeling right then, which she figured was understandable; she felt empty inside and her heart felt like it shattered every time she thought about never hearing Luc's voice again and never seeing him smile.
Lindsay wiped her eyes with the crumpled tissue she had pressed in her hands and Randall slipped his arm around her waist but she didn't seem to respond. Tru headed away from Harrison and Lindsay and headed toward the coffin; Harrison followed after her but she didn't pay him any attention. Her gaze was focused on Luc.
She knelt beside the coffin, ignoring the wet earth as it seeped through her stockings and to her skin. Tru intertwined her fingers with his, wondering if the warmth she was feeling with just her own wishful thinking; Luc's body remained motionless inside the coffin but she didn't take her eyes off his peaceful face. He didn't look dead but she knew that was just because the person working at the funeral parlor had added just the right amount of powder to his cheeks and gloss to his lips. She'd seen it all before.
Tru raised his hand to her lips and lightly kissed his hand, just as he had done to her so many times before. She found no solace in the gesture and tears pricked the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill onto her cheeks; and here she had been, thinking she had cried up all the tears in her body. His fingers were warm against her lips, there was no mistaking that and Tru opened her eyes again to study him more closely. As soon as she had, his eyes snapped up and she was startled for a brief moment. "Tru, help me." Luc whispered, voice still raspy with death.
At his words, Tru felt her heart skip a beat and she closed her eyes again, waiting to be transported back to the worst day of her life, the day she had struggled to save Harrison and the day she had lost the man that she loved. She saw herself telling Luc the truth about herself long before Lindsay's wedding, so that there was no chance he'd go running off into Jack's clutches. And if he still didn't believe her, she would keep him from going to Bank Street and being shot; she would do anything to keep him alive.
Tru made a mental list of all the things she would do to save Luc, to keep him with her, like he was meant to be. After the day had passed and Lindsay had been married, safe in the arms of her new husband, and Harrison was alive and his old self, she would allow herself to seek comfort in Luc's arms. She would answer all of his questions, try to explain to him the best she could about her calling and promise that she'd never leave him again or let anything take him for her again. Now that Luc knew the truth about her, he would understand every time she had to run off and he'd even help her, as much as he could, as long as it didn't put him in harms way. Maybe she'd be telling Lindsay not to drop the phone sometime soon.
It seemed like a huge burden had been stripped from her heart, making her a whole person again. Tru couldn't believe it. She was getting a chance to make things right, to make them the way they should be. She was getting another chance...
"Tru?" Harrison's voice caused Tru to start, surprised and she looked around feverishly, confused. She was still standing, waiting to go to Luc's coffin, with Harrison standing beside her, his hand on her shoulder a worried look on his face. "Tru? Are you all right?"
Tears filled her eyes as she realized what had happened. She wasn't getting the chance to save Luc after all; she had only been daydreaming, lost in thought at her perfect life. Tru felt her heart shatter all over again. How could someone play such a cruel joke on her like that? Give her those thoughts and images of a life that was never going to be. Hadn't she suffered another already? "No." She whispered and felt a tear leak from the corner of her eye, sliding down her cheek.
Harrison pulled her into his arms but she did nothing but stand still, staring past her brother toward the coffin, occupied by the man she had loved. What good was her calling if she couldn't save the people she loved? The people that really deserved to live.
"I don't understand." Tru whispered and Harrison pulled away to look at her. "I just don't understand. Why did Luc have to die? Why?" Her tears followed freely now and she did nothing to stop them.
Harrison looked at a loss for how to answer; he didn't understand why Luc had had to die either, it just didn't make sense to him. Luc had been a better person then he'd ever hoped to be, yet he was dead and so many people were left broken and alone. "I don't know, Tru, I really don't know."
* * *
The clouds tore open just after Luc's coffin was lowered in the ground and many of the funeral goers went rushing toward their cars before the rain could take too much of a toll. But Tru stood off to one side, staring at the ground where Luc would forever lay, arms across her chest, paying no attention to the rain as it fell quickly, soaking her to the bone. All she could think about was the life that could have been, the life with the man she was meant to be with.
"Tru." An almost familiar voice, laced with an Irish accent, spoke her name but she didn't bother to respond. It didn't matter anyway, she didn't care what anyone had to say at that moment. "Tru, Lindsay and Harrison are waiting back at the car." Randall approached her tentatively. They had only met on a few occasions in the past couple of days before Tru knew he was an okay guy if her best friend had married him.
Tru didn't respond to his words. She wasn't ready to leave yet, wasn't ready to leave Luc's side. "I'll get another ride." She mumbled weakly still not looking at him. Rainwater dripped down her eyelashes and down her cheeks, mingling with the fresh tears she had begun to cry.
Randall didn't move; the rain didn't seem to be bothering him either. "I'm sure this will come of little comfort, Tru, but I lost my father when I was young and I know how you're feeling." He said instead. "It's a sad thing, to lose someone you love."
Tru looked over at him. "I've lost so many people." She told him, wondering why some people were just unluckier then others. "Some many people I love."
Randall nodded but didn't say anything. After all while, he finally recited "'Do thy worst, old Time; despite thy wrong. My shall in my verse, ever live young.'" Tru looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. Maybe Lindsay didn't have such good taste after all. Randall looked slightly embarrassed for a moment by her reaction. "Shakespeare." He explained and Tru nodded. "One of his sonnets."
"It was pretty." Tru mumbled just because she didn't know what else to say. Nothing seemed pretty to her right then and she doubted anything ever would again.
"Aye." Randall agreed and followed her gaze toward where the coffin had been and now lay beneath the earth and out of sight. "He had a way with words, of understanding things that no one seemed to be able to understand."
Tru sighed. "Then I wish he was here now to help me understand why Luc had to die." She mumbled, tired to talking. She just wished Randall would go away and leave her alone; she needed space, didn't he see that.
"There are no explanations for some things Tru." Randall said. "No one understands death and why it comes when it does, not even Shakespeare. But what he does understand is that death doesn't mean anything when it comes to love. He understands how it's possible to love someone, even if they're not around any longer and how that love doesn't change."
Tru shifted. "How can you love someone that's dead?" She snapped, harsh because she knew the answer, knew that it was possible because her heart still ached for Luc, just as it did for her mother.
Randall studied her. "I think you already know the answer to that, Tru." He remarked and Tru couldn't help but nod.
"I love him." She whispered, fresh tears flowing from her eyes and joining the rainwater on her cheeks, mingling together in a perfect, seamless river.
"And he loves you." Randall told her and Tru knew he was right again. The very last thing Luc had said confirmed that fact. "I always remembered that about my father when the nights were too long and lonely."
Tru thought about what he had said; Luc loved her, she knew this deep in her heart and she could still hear his dying words ringing in her ears. And she loved him and she prayed that he had known that. It warmed her slightly to think that even though Luc was dead, he still loved her, and she didn't need solid proof of this. It was just like the difference between the tears and rain on her cheeks; hard to see but it was there.