Authors Note: Yeah, this part is weird. We like it though. Totally made up for the most part. Yeah...Tolkien would kill us if he read it. Maybe even kill himself. He's already dead, so we don't have to worry about that, though. Oh, and don't worry. Legolas will come back, sort of...in a flashback later. So will everyone else! WOOHOO. Bye.

***In Kyanrok-Land of the Forces

Many people are not familiar with the strange languages and customs of forces. They do not know about their ways of life, their families, their foods (actually, they don't eat, but most people don't know that). Most people don't even know that forces live in an organized society, much as we do today...and did back in middle earth. The truth is, however, forces will live on, even when all of the people are dead.

Forces don't actually have a form. They exist inside armor...that sometimes have features such as ears, noses, and other things. But these are only for very well-thought of forces. Sauron the Deceiver (who you should know about by now) had extremely advanced armor, but we'll get to it later. Now we must discuss young forces.

You see, when forces are born, they do not portray a particular quality, such as good, evil, hungry, or tired...actually, there are no tired forces...or hungry ones. But there are good and evil ones! You see, young forces (forces under the age of thirteen) are innocent and beautiful, but not good or evil. Once they hit thirteen, they decide if they're going to be good or evil. Some never decide. They just linger around and think...about stuff. But they're not very well thought of. They don't have much of a purpose at all...they just take up armor and space.

But, when Frodo of the Shire destroyed the one ring, and in turn destroyed all evil (including all evil forces) it didn't mean that evil couldn't come back. It was just gone temporarily. There were still plenty of young forces that had yet to decide their true purpose. One of these such forces was the nephew of Sauron. His name was Sourling.

At the time of Frodo's destruction of the ring, Sourling was 11 years old, and was not evil. Or good. But the ring didn't destroy neutral things, just evil. So Sourling grew. And when he was thirteen years old, he made the big decision. He said "I will follow in my noble uncle's footsteps, although I don't have feet, and I will be evil."

Everyone was very proud of him. Forces don't care if you're good or evil, as long as you choose. So, this was a very noble choice, and Sourling got very advanced armor...with EARS. Sauron had fingers though. But that's okay.

Once Sourling had decided to become evil, he spent time contemplating what to do with his newfound power. "Should I go kill innocent little birdies? No, that's not much fun. How about taking over the mind of the King of Rohan...wait, they don't have a king...or a queen, never mind."

He though and thought and thought and thought and then he thought some more. Finally he said "I thinks I has the solution! I will bring my noble uncle (erm, mother-brother) back! I can do that since I am evil!"

And so, Sauron the deceiver had returned.

Sauron thanked his sister-son (a.k.a. nephew) and decided to get ears on his armor, since Sourling's were so cool. And Sourling decided to get fingers, since Sauron's were so cool. So, they sat together, an old force, and a young force, and they contemplated what they would do now.

"Well, first of all, accomplished forces like you and me, uncle, must have a trinket that we can pour part of ourselves into. Like my father, but he was a good force, and he had a flimsy gold flower that was forged in the Field of Grace. But it got in the Field of Grace somehow and somebody stepped on it. So he died. And for the time being, all good forces were destroyed. But not anymore. So that sucks.

"And also like your ring, Uncle!" Sourling continued, not noticing the malicious look in his uncle's armor, which had suddenly turned into a large orange eye. "but I brought you back, remember? So forget about your ring! We can forge a new trinket! Together!"

His uncle's eye suddenly filled with tears. "Okay, my dear sister-son! My dear nephew! Together it shall be! Now what to forge, what to forge?"

So again they contemplated. "We could make a frog!" Said Sourling.

Sauron's eye looked at him and scowled (don't ask me how he did that, he just did). "A frog is dumb, no!"

For the first time, Sourling noticed that his uncle was a huge eye! "Uncle!" he cried. "How did you do that? You are an eye!"

"Yes," said Sauron. "I am an eye. This is my other personality. I'm always an eye, except when I feel like being armor. But I am still a force. I am just more evil and powerful when I am an eye."

"Oh, I see!" Said Sourling. "Can I be an eye too?"

"No," said Sauron. "I have a better job for you. You shall be a nose. The violent nose of flame. I shall see and you shall smell and together we shall be more powerful and have two different senses! Incredible!"

"Ooh!" said Sourling. "When can I become the violent nose of flame?"

"Once we've thought of a good trinket."

"I know!" said Sourling. "A turtle!"

"No animals! Especially not reptiles!" said Sauron. "Last time I had a ring, because I had fingers. Now I still have fingers, but I have ears also. So why not make an earring...no, TWO EARRINGS! And you may wear one of them!"

"Really, uncle? That's so swell. Let's do it now! Where shall we forge it?"

"I know!" said Sauron. "In Mirkwood! No one will expect us to go there! But we must steal it back from the elves first."

The problem was, the elves didn't want to give Mirkwood back to Sauron...except Sauron didn't ask, Sourling did. And Sourling, showing a stroke of brilliance then said "We will trade you Mordor for Mirkwood."

The elves held a secret council with their King and Queen, Intimidus and Imaniris Isomis (the former king, Legolas's father had gone to the undying lands...and Legolas was dead, so the King's foster son Intimidus became King). Their annoying nephew Scamperuus was there also. Scamperuus was actually both of their nephews, blood related on both sides because most of the elves had gone to the undying lands causing them to inter-relate. Anyway, back to the story. "Mirkwood is smaller and colder than Mordor. Let's trade." Said Intimidus. So they did.

Intimidus and Imaniris turned Mordor into a beautiful land (which was very pink). Roses and daisies grew wild everywhere and the pink castle in the clouds was beset with diamonds and amethysts. BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

Sauron and Sourling cut down the forest and built a huge tower called Mirkwood Tower (Sourling made up the name...how witty). Then they went deep into the earth and forged two beautiful earrings. They were big gold hoops with the snappy back things that are easy to put on. They also made the wearer invisible...just like the ring! WHAT A COINCIDENCE! Well, it doesn't make the armor invisible, because the forces are already invisible, but that makes no sense, but that's still how it works.

So Sauron and Sourling prevailed, the eye and the nose of flame and death, and they terrorized the lands (but Sourling wasn't very good at it). Rohan and Gondor were already in chaos, and the sight of the great eye again, not to mention the nose, was enough to make about half of the population of each kingdom commit suicide.

Sauron and Sourling formed a new army of orcs and sent them out...wild men burning as they go (that's a line from the movie that we don't understand, oh well). The orcs killed pretty much everyone else who hadn't killed themselves already, except for the elves of Mordor, the Hobbits of the Shire, the men of Bree, and anyone else who was smart enough to hide, or were too unimportant to be noticed or cared about very much, as was the case with the Men of Bree. Also, after Frodo Baggins had destroyed Sauron's ring, Sourling was quite scared of the mostly harmless hobbits, and convinced his mother-brother that the hobbits were too small to kill anyway.

The elves of Mordor, formerly the elves of Mirkwood were angry about this, but didn't really want to do anything about it. However, there was one elf who did. He knew about the power of Sauron. His uncle had killed himself trying to get Sauron's ring, after it had been destroyed. His uncle's name was...LEGOLAS of the Woodland Realm. This elf, named Legogorn (his mother liked Aragorn too, but she went to the undying lands when Arwen married him), decided to go to Mirkwood and get the earrings and destroy them. But he didn't feel like taking a fellowship with him. He wanted to go on his own.

So Legogorn went to Mirkwood. He found Sourling sitting on top of the tower. Sauron was taking a bath (forces do need to be cleaned every once in a while, don't ask why. Sourling the great nose was getting angry at his uncle because he smelled so bad). Anyway, Legogorn asked Sourling to please turn to armor. Sourling did. Then Legogorn said "Give me your earring."

Sourling said "No."

Legogorn said "May I please have your earring?"

Sourling said "Okay, but take good care of it!" (Remember, Sourling was just a young, and still rather innocent and naive force. He did not realize that Legogorn was one of the "fierce elves with bright eyes" as Gollum put it in the second book).

"Sure." Said Legogorn and walked away. He was on his way to the center of the earth to destroy the earring when he discovered that it would look very pretty on his lovely pointed ear. So he kept it. But first he pierced his ear. Later, Legogorn was walking back to Mordor when he saw a bunch of elves standing on the coast trying to swim. He said "What are you doing?"

"The last boat to the undying lands took a stupid hobbit instead of a lovely elf queen like me!" said an elf.

"You're not a queen!" Said Legogorn.

"Well, I'm better than a hobbit!" She waded out into the water, and drowned. "Why did she do that?" Legogorn asked himself.

"She's trying to get to the undying lands." Said another elf. "So am I!" and he drowned.

Suddenly, Legogorn felt a strange sensation. He wanted the earring very badly. AND HE HAD IT! But then he thought. "I must be turning into a Gollum, just like that yucky Gollum thing that my uncle told me about! How frightening! But I'm still pretty!" And he was.

He took the earring off to hold it in his hand, and admire it some more, when suddenly, another elf maiden pushed past him and threw herself wildly into the water, accidentally pulling him with her.

Legogorn saw the earring fly out of his hand and land some three feet away in the ocean. Then, his face hit the water, and all he saw was swirling sand and various snatches of a dying elf maiden. He pulled himself up out of the water and began to frantically search for the earring. When he could not find it, he let out a long, loud, tortured scream of agony (lots of adjectives, yay!).

Authors Note: YAY. Okay, we hope that made more sense than the prologue.