It hadn't been long after Mary Sue had returned with the cups that Dr. Willis entered the room. He had a slight smile on his face that couldn't hide his concern.

"I have given your friend a sedative; I don't want him to wake up until at least tomorrow morning!"

"But why, I don't understand?" Mac gave him a confused look.

"Your young friend went through a very traumatic experience. As a matter of fact, it was so traumatic that he tried to end his own life. Letting him wake up now would probably be too much. By all rights, he should be in a hospital under constant supervision!" Realizing that Mary Sue was just about to interrupt him, he put his hand soothingly on her arm, "I know what you are going to say, that you and his friends will give him all the care he needs. This is the only reason why I allow him to stay here. And because I know that going to a hospital might put him right back into the situation he was in."

"So what do you want us to do?" Mary Sue asked.

"Yeah, and what should we expect?" Judson threw in.

"First of all, I want someone to be with him at all times. He might be having nightmares or even start running a fever. Psychological trauma is very unpredictable and can cause all kinds of physical problems. I think this was the reason for him to loose consciousness in the first place rather than the blood loss. It actually doesn't look like he lost that much but I will draw some lab work tomorrow, so we can see how his hemoglobin is. The incision to his wrist is long but not very deep. I covered it with some steri-strips but I will be back in a few hours and put a few sutures in. And I want to be here when he wakes up, just in case!"

"Thanks for everything!" Mary Sue hugged her friend, "I know we are putting you in a difficult situation but there was really no one else I could trust with that!"

"I understand, just take good care of my patient, he is in a very fragile state!"

"Well, I am sure we can make him feel better tomorrow, we have all kinds of good news for him!" Judson smiled.

Once again the concern was very obvious on the doctor's face, "Be careful, any kind of excitement could throw him totally off. Don't overwhelm him and take things very slow. I wouldn't tell him anything for a while until we are sure he can deal with it!"

The smile that had just shown on Judson's face disappeared, looking at Mac, he realized that the good news they had wasn't all good. To tell Gabe that his paralysis was reversible would also mean to tell him of one more deceit Senator Patterson put him through. It didn't need any words between them to decide that they would wait until Gabe was ready.

++++++

December 25th, 1978

Susan Flaherty was back were she had started from – the small town she had grown up in. It was Christmas Day and reluctantly she had agreed to accompany her parents to church. It had been only to please them because to her God was only an abstract being that meant nothing – not anymore. Now she sat in the pew, surrounded by happy people listening to a wonderful Christmas message, yet her mind was far away, reliving the pain of the last year. It had started out so promising with her marriage to the most wonderful man she had ever met. Life had been complete when they found out she was pregnant. Things couldn't have been better, until the tragic accident that claimed her husband's life. Ready to end her life, it had been the new life in her that saved hers. And now that life, the child she had lived for, was gone. Lost due to a tragic incident, which the doctors called precipitant labor, a condition, that caused the birth to happen very fast, in her case too fast. It had caused her uterus to rupture and cause severe bleeding.  The doctors had performed an emergency hysterectomy but due to her weakened condition infection had set in and for several weeks her life had hung in the balance. She remembered very little of these two weeks, just the faces of her concerned parents at her bed side.

It had been a fierce battle but finally the fever broke and consciousness returned to her. Still weak, her first concern had been for baby. She very clearly remembered the look in her mother gave her before she averted her eyes and fixed her eyes on her husband. She also hadn't missed the slight nod her father gave her. At that moment she knew. Her mother's words just gave her the confirmation. She would never forget them.

"I'm sorry sweetheart your baby didn't live. The doctors tried everything but he was just too weak!"

For some reason she had just felt numb, unable to feel any emotion. "You said he?"

Again her parents had exchanged glances, then her father had said, "Yes, it was a little boy! We gave him the name Gabriel Brenton, just like you wanted!" He had stopped there for a moment before he had continued, "You were so sick and we really couldn't wait any longer with the funeral, so we took him home and buried him beside his father. We thought you would want it that way!"

It was at that moment that the realization had struck her – she would never be able to see her little boy, would never be able to hold him in her arms. Never, never, never….! This one word had swirled through her mind, making it impossible to think of anything else.

For several weeks she had lived in a trance, hardly realizing when she had been discharged from the hospital. Her parents had brought her back home, their home, which was no longer hers. She had lived like a machine, programmed to eat, drink and sleep, the pain in her to deep to grab or even think about. She had hardly been able to stand living back were it all had started, yet going back to Boston hadn't been an option either – there everything had ended. And she knew she wouldn't have enough strength left to start all over somewhere new.

 Only a few days ago she had started to understand how much worry she caused her parents. And although she didn't have the strength to change anything, she had agreed to coming to church today, trying to make them feel better. After all they were the only people in the world she had left.

Suddenly she was startled out of her thoughts by something the pastor at the pulpit said, "This Christmas let us not forget the King of Heaven that came down from his father's throne to become a lowly child in a dirty and smelly manger. He gave his life for all the poor and forgotten and suffered death for us. Let us come down from our throne and remember how much we have to give!"

It came like a flash to her that she had something that many people had never experienced – a love that was so deep and real that even death couldn't take it away. Her husband and her son would always be with her and no one could ever take their love away from her, no one but herself. There were children in Boston that needed her, many of them had never experienced the love of a parent because they had been abandoned by there own parents due to physical or mental handicaps. She could make a difference in there life's by giving them what they needed most – love.

It was like there was a ray of light going into her heart, giving her new strength and purpose. "Gabriel, my angel", she whispered, "I promise, as long as I live you will always be in my heart!"

++++++

Present Day

Dr. Willis had returned around 3 AM to check on his patient. He didn't want to take any chances by waiting to long with the sutures so he had brought the suture kit along. Mary Sue had assisted him, while Mac and Judson had quietly watched. Until then Gabe had shown no sign of restlessness but now he started to move around, mumbling words no one was able to understand.

Checking his watch, the doctor said, "It's a little early for another sedative but I don't want him this restless while I suture!"

"Give me just a moment!" Mac got up and moved beside Gabe. Gently she started to stroke his hair, taking hold of his uninjured hand with her free one.

"It's okay, you are safe, I won't let anything happen to you!" she whispered.

The effect was almost immediate, as Gabe started to relax. She continued to hold his hand and stroke his hair as she looked at the doctor, "Why don't you continue, I stay right here and try to keep him quiet!"

It didn't take Dr. Willis very long to finish the procedure. After he had bandaged the area once again, he turned to the others, "This should leave only a very small scar that will almost disappear given enough time. I have used a technique that does not show any sutures in the top layer of the skin!" Reading the questions in Mac and Judson's eyes, he added, "I have found that it might be important to your friend's emotional wellbeing later on. He does not need this scar to constantly remind him of what he has been through and what he tried to do!"

He packed his things and gave Mary Sue further instructions, then he turned to leave.

"I will be back around 8 AM but don't hesitate to call me if there are any problems. Mary Sue can give him another injection in about one hour!"

++++++

The rest of the night went by without problems. Despite the doctors fears Gabe didn't become restless again and did not develop any complications. Mary Sue had given him the injection as ordered but had decreased the dosage slightly. She had also tried to convince Mac and Judson to go to bed but had not been successful. Neither one had been willing to leave their friends side. Around 7:00 in the morning she had finally convinced both of them to at least take a shower and have some of the breakfast she had prepared. But it didn't take them more than 15 minutes to reappear, each of them with a cup of coffee in their hand, still chewing the last piece of toast that had been hastily stuffed into their mouths. Mary Sue couldn't help but smile, with friends like this, Gabe had nothing to fear.

Gladly she gave up her chair to Mac, who instantly set her cup down and grabbed Gabe's hand. Judson took seat on the other side of the bed, slowly sipping his coffee. For a while it was silent as they only exchanged glances. Finally Judson broke the silence.

"Something is bothering you!"

"It's nothing, I just keep thinking, we have been waiting for this for so long and now I am almost afraid of what is going to happen when Gabe wakes up!"

Judson looked at her for a moment before he responded, "I know, I have the same feeling! Mac, this is not going to be easy but together we will make it!"

"I hope you are right!" Mac's voice was still filled with doubt.

"Of course I am!" Judson tried to convince her just as much as himself. As his look wandered from Mac to the sleeping figure in the bed, he unexpectedly found himself faced by a pair of hazel eyes. There was confusion and despair written all over them as they wandered from him to Mac and back. Unprepared for the suddenness of their friends awakening, neither Mac nor Judson knew how to react.

"I thought you would never come!"

The words were hardly more than a whisper, yet they stabbed through both their hearts like a glowing sword. The pain was almost physical and caused both of them to gasp. The following silence laid on the room like a black cloud.

 It was Mac who first recovered, pushing out a pain stricken, "I'm so sorry Gabe!"

"It's okay, I should have known better!"

Mac squeezed his hand even harder, "There was never a moment when we even considered giving up on you!"

Judson nodded in agreement, "We are a team remember!"

Gabe nodded, unable to say more as his eyes filled with tears. His lips quivered and it took all his strength to hold a sob back. How could he ever let his friends know about the darkness he had allowed himself to slip into? A darkness void of any hope of salvation, so deep, that his only way to escape had been taking his own life. And once again they had been there and saved him. But was he really safe? Surely his self proclaimed father would use the next opportunity to get him back! There was just no way out for him, the Senator would never give up until he finally got what he wanted.

"I wish you would have let me die!" the anger in his words was almost overwhelming.

"How can you say something like this?"

 Unable to understand the reasons behind his words, Mac's response was almost as angry as Gabe's and she was ready to say more when Judson silenced her by putting his hand on hers. He had seen something more than anger in his friend's eyes; there was a fear and uncertainty that almost brought tears to his eyes. Senator Patterson had truly accomplished what he had set out to do for years – he had broken Gabe's spirit.

"I take care of the Senator!" he said in a quiet, yet determined voice, "I promise you, he will not even attempt to take you back!"

He could see the spark of hope lighting up in Gabe's face just to disappear as fast and be replaced by the same darkness that had been there before.

"I've got a phone call to make!"

He nodded at Mac and gave Gabe a last encouraging smile before he disappeared.

+++++++

April 15th, 1979

Katherine Patterson stood behind the glass doors that let into the library of the Patterson Mansion. There was a worried look on her face as she watched her husband stare at a book, pretending to read it. Any other person would have bought his act, yet she knew him well enough to see that he was deeply troubled. Something she hardly ever saw in her husband, who was always in control and never seemed to get emotional. Yet the last few months had been tough for the whole family but especially for him.

It had been only three days before Thanksgiving when his father, James Patterson had suffered a severe heart attack. It had come without warning, while he had been closing a business deal that had been months in the making. After several days of worrying for his life, the doctors had finally assured them he was out of danger and would make a full recovery, although he would have to take it easy from now on. That same night they had gotten the call that he had suffered a debilitating stroke. Again for days it was unclear if he would live, then the judgment had come down like a hammer – he had suffered severe brain damage and was unlikely to ever recover. He had spent the next month in the hospital, receiving the best possible care and therapy. After New Years they had finally been allowed to bring him home – a broken man. His speech was reduced to an incoherent mumble; the left side of his mouth drooped, making it impossible for him to control the saliva that almost constantly drooled down his chin. His left arm and leg were paralyzed and he had lost control over all of his body functions. They had inserted a tube into his stomach to provide him with nourishment due to his inability to swallow without choking. Yet his eyes were clear as ever, telling that he was fully aware of what was happening to him. The man that always had prided himself to do everything on his own was now totally dependent on the care of the two fulltime nurses his son had hired for him.

Katherine remembered how difficult it had been for her husband and although he had never talked to her about it she could read him like a book. He had always been dominating, never allowing her inside into his feelings or much of a free will for that matter but she was used to this. Having grown up the youngest child and only daughter of one of America's "royal families", she had always been told what to do and never learned to be independent. It almost had been a relief for her when Will Patterson had married her right out of college. The thought of actually being on her own had more than scared her. Now she wished she could have done more for her husband, because although it wasn't always easy to live with him and it definitely was difficult for her to understand his reasoning at times, she loved him deeply and knew that at least part of him returned this love. She knew she had done what she could for him but having new twins hadn't been easy even if they had a live in nanny for the children. Constance had been a very needy baby, always wanting to be held and crying for food every 3 hours. Still now at 6 month she didn't sleep through the night. Gabe on the other hand had been sickly for quite some time, seeming to catch any infection that was around. Yet he was also a happy baby, even when sick he hardly ever cried and still seemed to smile and giggle when anyone came around him. Katherine felt almost guilty that many times she had left Constance to the nanny while taking care of Gabe herself. Yet there had been a bond developed between her and this little being that no one had wanted, that was just as strong, maybe even stronger than the one she had with her own children.

Tearing herself out of her thoughts, she walked into the library and sat down beside her husband. Just this morning they had laid his father to rest after another stroke three days ago had claimed his life. Unsure what to say, she just laid her hand on his. When he looked up she could for the first time in their 9 year marriage see his true feelings in his eyes. And suddenly she realized; that it wasn't as much the loss of his father that troubled him then the loss of independence that he had witnessed in him. Knowing how much he was like the elder Patterson, she understood the devastation this had brought for him. His father had lived through the worst nightmare anyone could have and she could only begin to imagine the fear that had build up in her husband.

"I love you Will ", she said quietly, "I will always be on your side, no matter what happens!"

There was something like gratefulness in his eyes as he squeezed her hand and gently kissed her before his face returned to its usual emotionless expression.

"I need to call the office and see what is going on; after all I haven't been in very much the last few days!"

Katherine nodded and quietly left the room, well knowing he didn't like her presence when he was doing business. Sadness crept up into her heart as she realized that he never totally would let her into his life, yet she was also satisfied by the one glimpse of him that he had allowed her just a moment ago. There was a slight smile on her face as she returned to the nursery to check on her children.

TBC

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