Disclaimer: Inuyasha and all the other characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi, so don't bother me about them. No suing me allowed. ^_^

Please take note that in this chapter the italics in the latter part of the chapter indicate Kagome's thoughts.

Tsuretsu Shittobukai

Chapter 4

Kagome, Sango and Miroku all started walking off. But before they even took two steps Kagome stopped. "Oh wait Sango-chan! I forgot your sword!" Kagome automatically turned back to the clearing, just in time to see Kikyo's eyes snap open and a dagger slip into her hand.

"INUYASHA!!!" Kagome screamed.

*******

Inuyasha's head snapped up. "Shut up Kagome!" he barked. "You'll wake Kikyo up!"

Gaping, Kagome just pointed to Kikyo as the dead miko plunged the dagger into Inuyasha's chest.

"ARG!!" Inuyasha screamed as he desperately pushed away Kikyo, who had just apparently latched onto Inuyasha. "Let go of me!"

"Come on Kagome!" Sanga urged as the yokai exterminator ran past her friend to help the hanyou.

Kagome quickly started after her friend, grabbing Sango's sword along the way. "Inuyasha!" she shouted. "Get away from her!"

Inuyasha grunted as he tried to pull away from Kikyo, but he couldn't. She was doing something to him. There was something wrong! What kind of spell was she casting on him?!

Meanwhile, Sango and Miroku each took a position around Kikyo once Inuyasha managed to break free from her grip and get a certain distance away from her. Kagome cautiously walked up to the miko.

"Kikyo..." she started, her voice clear.

Like always, the older miko's face was void of any emotion. "Just let this bastard go to hell." She said, her voice impassive.

Kagome felt her heart jump at Kikyo's words. "Why?" she blurted out.

Kikyo shook her head. "Why wouldn't you?" she asked, with a hint of scorn showing on her face. "Even after all that he's done to you?" Then she gave Kagome an exaggerated sigh. "You really don't understand anything."

"Well, maybe it's just you that doesn't understand anything." Kagome retorted, her voice bitter. "Maybe you just don't see how much Inuyasha cares about you."

Kikyo smiled cruelly. "Maybe I don't, but it doesn't mean anything anymore. Take a look at your precious hanyou."

Kagome whipped her head back towards Inuyasha and gasped in horror. Inuyasha's skin was starting to turn blue...he was slowly being suffocated! What was going on? She started to turn back to Kikyo, when the other miko decided to hit.

A shower of amethyst sparks shot through the air towards Kagome. However, they weren't aimed towards her. Kikyo's magic hit Inuyasha's already weakened form.

"You...you..." Kagome gaped, looking from the dying Inuyasha to the smirking Kikyo. "How could you?" she cried. Distraught, Kagome ran over to Inuyasha's side.

"I'll leave you two alone." Kikyo sneered, laughing venomously. "But I will be back...for my soul."

With that, the dead miko disappeared into the trees along with her soul stealers.

********

Sango and Miroku slowly walked up to Kagome's shaking form. "No...no..." they heard her cry out as she held Inuyasha's limp form close to her, sobbing.

The longer she stood there, looking at Kagome pour her heart out, the less that Sango could stand of this crap. "Come on, Houshi-sama." Sango quietly called, silently walking away.

Miroku promptly complied, following Sango out of the clearing with just one backwards glance towards his friends behind him. "Kagome..."

Then just as quickly he turned back to the agitated demon exterminator. "Sango," the monk quietly said as he rest his hand on her shoulder.

"Bastard." He heard Sango spat out. Suddenly she turned towards him, looking at him with bitter eyes. "Bastard." She repeated, then continuing in a much softer, dangerous voice. "He doesn't deserve Kagome."

Miroku winced at her words and quickly withdrew his hand before she could say anything about him. Deciding that Sango needed time alone, he walked a few feet away from her, keeping an eye on Kagome and another one on the exterminator.

Instinctively, Miroku started fingering the rosary beads over his left hand as he pondered over the situation. Kikyo apparently wanted Kagome's soul and wanted to send Inuyasha to hell. When had the air suddenly gotten colder? Miroku shivered, feeling apprehension twisting in his stomach. Whatever was going to happen was not going to be good and Miroku desperately wished that the two women would just hurry it up and they would leave.


*******

What had happened? Just two hours ago, Inuyasha was alive and well, now he is weak and close to death. Why is everything turning out this way? I can't think...everything's falling apart under my own nose. I can't watch...I can just see what everybody is thinking. They blame me for all that has happened...that's what it's always like...that's what it will always be like...

Kagome caught her breath. The dark thoughts that plagued her mind every single day ever since Kikyo had ever come back to life. But why? Why should everyone overlook her yet somehow lay the blame on her head?

Because you are nothing but the mere shadow of the powerful miko...you are nothing but her derisory reincarnation...you are nothing compared to Kikyo...

The feelings...forever bothering her about who she really was. The little nagging voice at the back of her head...forever irritating her...convincing her otherwise...

Who am I? A measly shadow of the beloved Kikyo? Is that how everyone sees me? Just some little unstable girl that you can use whenever you feel like it?

"Yo Kagome," a weak voice called her name. "Snap out of it."

No. No, I want more.

Kagome turned her face down to the one that she had always secretly loved. "Hey Inuyasha." She smiled gently at him, tears streaming down her cheeks.

I want more than living in Kikyo's shadow.

"What's wrong?" Inuyasha fumbled, looking at her with exhausted yet concerned eyes. His skin color was turning back to normal now that the spell was wearing off.

I want them to see me as who I really am.

Kagome's head drooped. Her shoulders slightly shook as she wept. "I'm sorry...Inuyasha..." she desperately cried, avoiding his golden gaze.

To see that I'm not just a little doll. I want them to see that I am someone else.

Inuyasha's brow furrowed, puzzled. "Why? What's wrong Kagome?" he asked drowsily, grasping her hand in his.

I'm not perfect. I'm not like Kikyo. We're not the same.

Kagome gave him a look of despair. "Inuyasha," she started. "Do you remember what happened?"

So why does everyone see me as Kikyo? Why does everyone assume I can do everything she does?

Inuyasha frowned, his face full of confusion. "Remember?" he closed his eyes to think, his breath becoming shallow. "Yes." He said abruptly. "I remember."

No. Everyone just can't see the truth.

"I remembered her laughing at me. Laughing at you." Inuyasha cracked his eye open. "Aren't you mad?"

Nobody sees the real me. All they see is a mini-Kikyo.

Kagome didn't say anything. After all, there was nothing to say. "I think you already know the answer." Kagome quietly told Inuyasha.

However...

Inuyasha groaned as a chill ran through his body. "I can't believe it," he whispered.

My name is Kagome Higurashi.

Kagome shifted, alarmed. "What's wrong, Inuyasha?" she asked, panicking.

I come from modern Tokyo; I live with my mother, brother, and grandfather at our ancient shrine.

Inuyasha weakly laughed, his face showing bitterness and sorrow. "I'm dying, Kagome." He said, his voice cracking in the middle of the sentence. "Was it Kikyo?"

I am not Kikyo.

Kagome didn't look at him, instead looking at her feet, the grass, the trees, anything but Inuyasha. She bit her lip, refusing to say anything.

I never will be her, so stop dreaming.

The look on Inuyasha's face wilted. "So it was her," he said softly to himself, his eyes filled with grief. Suddenly he turned back to Kagome, wincing. "Kagome," he said. "Please..."

Please...

"What?" Kagome whispered when Inuyasha paused.

One day...

"Please, Kagome," Inuyasha begged. "Forgive me."

See me as who I am.

Kagome was taken back. "For what?" she asked, confused.

Not as Kikyo. Never as her.

"For being such a jerk, for loving Kikyo too much." Inuyasha gasped as his lungs constricted, making breathing harder and harder. "For never telling you how much I cared about you, for being a freaking fool, for being a god forsaken dumbass!" As Inuyasha choked out the last few words, blood spurted out of his mouth, splattering Kagome's school uniform.

Never able to feel perfect, never able to be yourself...

"Inuyasha!" Kagome cried, quickly trying to brush the blood from the corner of his mouth. "Are you okay?"

All because of her...

Inuyasha coughed and sputtered some more before catching his breath. "I'm sorry Kagome," he said, his voice barely audible as he leaned back into her arms, closing his eyes.

All my life, I've lived below her, like scum...

"No!" Kagome desperately screamed. "Inuyasha! Wake up! Inuyasha!"

I've let everyone walk all over me, like I am a tiny ant amidst of grasshoppers...

Inuyasha stirred. "I'm so tired." He mumbled. "It's hard to stay awake."

Not anymore.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome shrieked. "It's ok!" she shouted. "I forgive you! I don't care about it anymore! Just wake up, dammit!!" Kagome wept as she frantically shook Inuyasha's arm.

This is my life, my soul.

Inuyasha squinted at her and sighed in relief, as if he was waiting for her to say those words. "Thank you Kagome." He said compassionately, with a tender look on his face. Slowly he raised a clawed hand up to her face. "You mean more to me than you think." He said softly.

The dead should let go, go back, and release their burdens.

Kagome could feel the life leaving Inuyasha's body. "Inuyasha," she cried in despair. "Please please please, don't leave!!"

Forgive and forget...

However, Inuyasha's breathing became even shallower as the seconds past. Instead of looking at the girl, his golden eyes slowly closed and slumped back into the Kagome's arms, letting out his last breath.

That is the way of life: to forgive and forget, let go of the past, be happy for once.

Sobbing, Kagome let out a cry of anguish. "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Kikyo. The 'better' one, the 'original' one, the all-perfect miko. The undead priestess, the one who degrades my mere image because of my 'identity', the one that Inuyasha loves.

Who am I?

Me, I am just a poor little girl standing in the sidelines, feeling all lonely and insignificant while Kikyo could have the chance of the lifetime. Why? Why can't she just grab her opening? The opening that I could never have so I can be happy. The most I can do is be happy. Then let go and be the happiest that I can be.

You don't understand. You don't know how hard it is for me. Each day, I think of her and how she humiliates me because I am her goddamn reincarnation. I know that I am not who she is, who you think I am, or the person that you want me to be. I am sorry for that. I am sorry for everything that I am. I am sorry for everything that I am not. But there is nothing that you can do.

I am me. And all I can do, to be me. All I can do is let go of everything inside of me and be happy.

Why can't you?

~*~*~*~*~*~

Author's Note: Yes I know. Very terrible ending, but I didn't know how else to end it. How do you like this chapter though? Please, some feedback would be nice; I'd like to know how some people think of this chapter.

I'm also caught as to whether or not to drag Sesshoumaru into the story. What do you think? Yes or no? Please leave a comment in a review. I'll start writing the next chapter as soon as I can.

Please R & R!