sAuthor's Note: Okay people chapter 6 now. So far I'm pretty happy with the story so guess what? I'm actually going to finish it! Since I haven't finished my other stories (hehe). And since holidays and my birthday are coming up I will either write a lot or a little. Okay get on reading!
Omigod everyone wants Draco and Hermione! Haha! Well I do too but yeah… haha PATIENCE PEOPLE!
Reviews: (Omigod I'm SO HAPPY! I got like TONS of reviews!!!)
Dahlingzsalil: Thank you! I'll be reading your story!
Ilukaiba: I love DxH too! But this is a love triangle… hmm
Sammie-Chan: LOL! Sam you must like check on my ficcie tons… how do you know when it's uploaded? *suspicious* of course I will read you Inuyasha fic. As soon as I do my English poem. PROMISE!
CeLeStIaL BeInG: Hey ISH! Thanks for beta reading!!Fatso who cocnutty: I'll think about it~ ^^
Heather j.: Lol! Another Draco/Hermione person! Yay!
Love2045: Well considering Professor Trelawney is always kind of wrong… hehe. Maybe this time she might be telling the truth? *gasp*
Draco_Fan: HAHA! MORE DRACO AND HERMIONE PEOPLE! What about Ron? He's cool. Isn't he? Isn't he?
Apollonia2: A site dedicated to them? I went to one like that before except I think it was at geocities and well I read a really good fanfic. I'll check it out in my spare time!
XsesenX: Sesen… thanks for offering to beta read. Me happy now! =) I can beta read you if you want! Well depends on whether I know what you're writing about…
Dragongirl: OOH another beta reader. But wait I can't email you! You didn't leave me your email address. Well if you review me next time please leave your email address too!
Innocent**teen: I'm so sad now. *WEEPS* But oh well! I'll try to be better! PROMISE!
Fire's ice: Huh? How did you find my story? Oh well. THANKS SISTER! See you later alligator!
Preciousone: Yup. I would say the same thing!
One warning… this chapter is… ummm, disturbing -_-
++Chapter Five: A Lake of Blood++
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A forest.
The leaves brushing past him as he ran, the wind blowing in his blond hair, the early morning smell and the dew. He was escaping.
His feet made small insignificant noises on the gravel dirt as he ran through the path he had run through many times. Worn away by age, it was like a snake snaking it's way through the forest to the Manor.
'Draco!' a shrill voice rang out from behind him, behind the trees which appeared like shadows, penetrating. He turned his head to the direction of the silky voice and smiled, the first time in a long time.
He ran towards her with his arms outstretched.
The woman bent down and picked up the small boy, she laughed and hugged him close, she ruffled his hair and whispered in his ear, "I thought I lost you then."
He didn't reply but hugged her closer for more comfort, she was what kept him safe.
'Where are you boy?' growled a deep masculine voice from behind the bushes. Somewhere a tree shook and two magpies screeched and flew away. The boy gasped and hid behind his mother as his father stepped out, he flung his blond almost silver hair back as his hair and black cloak fluttered in the wind.
'Oh there you are, move aside now, I need to take the boy to Cohen.'
'No Lucius you said you wouldn't!' she shrieked, hiding her small feeble son more behind her.
'This is my son and what I do with it is my business now MOVE ASIDE!' he jotted forward and pushed her on to the ground, she wailed as she fell, quickly stepping up again to defend the boy, but he hit her across her left cheek with the palm of his hand, hard. She wailed and sobbed on the floor, clutching her cheek now steadily turning red.
'Don't hurt mommy,' said he boy, blinking back tears.
'Just shut up and follow me,' the man grabbed him by his wrists as the boy restrained, but he was too strong, too powerful, he slowly let go and let him pull him, his father's hand were leaving a red mark on his arm but he didn't object. He knew better not to.
'Mommy…' he turned around but she was gone.
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Draco sat up in his bed, panting. He moaned and touched his forehead, rubbing his eyes shut. His hands were freezing for some reason, although it was a humid room temperature. He looked over at the clock.
11:49
He slept through the whole afternoon and dinner, having skipped last period and just sitting his room, doing nothing in particular. No one had come to get him, but then again even if he did he would have been asleep and wouldn't have noticed him.
His stomach rumbled. He was hungry, but it didn't matter.
It's always the same dream, he thought, the same strange dream.
Was it even real? Was that a memory? Or something less?
For a minute his whole mind was on the dream, he nearly forgot about reality. But then it snapped back to him.
His father. His mother. The abuse. The death-eaters. The threat.
And the death.
He wanted to forget about it all, but wherever he pushed it to in his brain it always found a way back to him. He needed to get away from it all, he laughed at that. That was exactly what he needed to do and was going to do.
Tonight.
He turned and got out from his bed, the old four-poster bed creaking, he opened his mahogany side drawer and pulled put a light, flowing, black cloak…
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The dark shadow crept from the Hogwarts building, his eyes and body covered by his black cloak. He looked around the grounds as he stood at the top of the stairs to Hogwarts, seeing no movement from the lawn of grass he walked down the stairs slowly.
The grass was still damp from the rain the day before. No one was out in the grounds.
Except him.
He rushed quickly across the grounds, his feet scraping the earth, hunched over, he was amazed how lucky he was, he got out of the school unnoticed. He stopped himself. Lucky? That wasn't the word. It was more like fateful.
His feet took him to the side of the lake and he didn't even realize. His mind was so absent-minded these days.
He stopped at the edge of the lake. He peered over his shoulder, back to the school, back to everything he knew. And wanted to forget.
He turned back to the lake and peered into the surface.
There stood a tall, gaunt figure in his late teens, his slicked blonde hair and icy crystal eyes covered. His chin long and his mouth, usually in a sneer, looked limp, like a lifeless dummy hanging off stage.
He reached into his pockets and felt a sharp jolt. He pulled it out.
The shiny blade shone under the moonlight, the edge gleamed for a second, curving into a perfect arch, the handle was plated in gold, but besides this, it was still a knife. A deadly knife, a simple instrument with so much power.
"Now or never," Draco told himself, "I can't keep on doing this."
He pulled back the sleeve of his black cloak and his clear skin shone in the moonlight, he looked like a vampire. The reflection of the moon on his skin made it shine.
An image of his father came into his mind, he imagined him standing there, saying to him to do this and to do that. For as long as he could remember, he tried to imagine his mother's face but all he could see was a blur. Although she was so much more important to him she wasn't significant in his life. Everything was ruled by his father.
He raised the blade and placed it on the tip of his pulse, his skin quivered under the unnatural coldness.
"This is for you, father," Draco spat out the last word with disgust.
He ran the blade slowly across his wrist, it was like something he had never experienced before, it was a feeling of remorse, a feeling he couldn't describe, a feeling of self-inflicting pain, it stabbed him, it struck him, it hit him.
The feeling of pain slowly traveling across his wrist, stinging him more and more as the blade ran more, digging into his skin.
He held his hand over the lake as one drip of blood splashed into the surface, it created a small splash and quickly dissolved into the black water, it was so tiny, so insignificant, he felt like nothing.
His father was the one he hated, the one who he loathed, the one he despised. He was his "little boy". Merely a puppet used by Lucius to show off, in front of his so called friends he would say how great Draco was at school, how he triumphantly won the last game of Quidditch, how he's heading his way to the top.
Bullshit.
When they were alone everything little thing that Draco did that wasn't perfect or close to it resulted in beating, mostly with a cane, sometimes with his bare hands. Iit wasn't that that hurt him, it was more the thought the act that Lucius always put up. It was like he carried a paintbrush around with him, in front of others he painted himself as a nice, gentle, caring father. When alone he let the paint flow off him, revealing his true side.
Draco hated it how he always hypocrites him. Anything that Lucius did that was wrong he would say it was Draco's doing. Lately Draco tried to do better than he usually did, in school and at home, he helped out, he studied. But did the treatment change?
No.
Lucius seemed to have think he won, he seemed to think that was only the beginning. That was were it got really bad, that was were Draco felt like doing good resulted in more pressurizing and pushing. More of pushing him to the top of the ladder which he knew he didn't want to get to.
He wanted to break the rules, he wanted to do everything wrong, he wanted to be pitied by his peers, he wanted…
He wanted to be treated like a real son.
By now the pain of the cutting was traveling to his heart, he closed his eyes, not in pain, but because he didn't want to see what he was doing. He was scared that he might think like his father again, and stop himself.
No, no, No, NO!
The blood had traveled down his arm and now reached his robe where he pulled it up, it looked like a slowly cascading waterfall, he turned his arm face down to the lake and let it drip.
Lately he's just felt so… empty. Like nothing mattered in his life and he was living for no reason, everything around him he took for granted, and when he actually lost them he blamed himself over and over.
It was like everyone was out to get him, he didn't care about appearances or what people thought about him. He didn't know what he cared about.
Being alone all of a sudden made him more sad than ever, he couldn't get over it, he couldn't trust himself. But being around others made it worse, he wanted to scratch their eyes out and yell at them, like it was their fault all this was happening.
Maybe it was.
He didn't want to do anything either, all that he ever enjoyed to do, or he thought was like a task he had to do to keep up. But why bother? He thought, it was his life, his fucking life. Why could no one see that? Why did they all act like it was theirs and he was simply an empty notebook, ready for any passer by to scribble in.
His mother. If only…
"I loved you," he said, "I loved you so much mother. Why was it you? Why not him?"
He didn't even think twice about what he said.
The blade came down again, this time closer to the main blood vessel, he knew he was slowly building up to the climax, he knew where it would hurt, he knew what he was doing. However this time it didn't seem to hurt as much, in fact it felt like a soft trickling of water down his arm, like when he got poured on on a hot summer's day. The relaxing cooling feeling.
He was losing it, he could feel the energy seep out of him, sucked away by an invisible force, he felt his muscles weaken, he felt his body heavy, he wanted to close his eyes, he wanted to lie, but most of all, he wanted to die.
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Thump. Thump. Thump.
She ran through the grounds, the leaves on branches of the trees sweeping her face, the gentle night breeze blowing her brunette hair into her face, into her tears.
Her hair stuck to her face as she tried to swipe it away.
But all that mattered was that she was escaping. Running away.
Hermione didn't know where she was running to, maybe nowhere. Maybe she was going to run into a faraway place. Maybe she would run to the forest. Maybe she would stop running and go back, thinking it was a stupid idea.
She panted and collapsed against a tree trunk, leaning on it for support as she leaned against it and closed her eyes. She wiped the trickle of sweat down the left side of her face and slid slowly down to the ground.
She saw them, together, holding hands at dinner. It was feeding him bread and he was smiling like a fat boy who just got his cake. It was giggling at him while he said something. Everything else froze around them, they were alone, in their own little world nonetheless.
She stood up, pushed away at Harry's hands as he tried to grab her, ignored the calls from Ron and barged out of the room, she ran all the way to her room, collapsed on the bed and wept.
She wept, drenching her body of tears and the pain, she heard knocking on the dorm door, probably her roommates, but she ignored them and threw her books at the door. Very un-hermione like.
But how could it have happened so fast? When she went to the Divination room they didn't seem to be "together". They didn't even seem to know each other, just two ordinary classmates. How could it have changed so much in a mere 3 hours?
She gabbed a bunch of leaves from the trees around her. Autumn was coming and they already started to shed. The leaves were wrinkled and brown, old with age. They felt so hard that one single movement could break them, she crushed them in her hands.
"I hate you so much Ron!" she yelled, glad out to be alone and where no one could hear or see her, "I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"
She breathed heavily and dropped the crushed parts of the leaves on the ground.
She turned her head sideways and looked over across the school lake.
Tonight it was a full moon and as it reflected off the surface she water shone with a shine she had never seen it before. It was magnificent. It was beautiful.
She wished she could dive in and swim, swim, swim her worries away. She wish she could relax in the cold liquid and let it engulf her, she wished she could felt the cold water cover her arms.
Wait, she thought, what was stopping her? She could couldn't she?
She stood up hastily and half-in-a-daze walked towards the lake, she didn't know what she was doing, nor did she care. Maybe this is what they meant by being a slave to love? She walked, closer and closer.
Suddenly she stopped.
She wasn't alone.
There stood a shadow, next to the surface, she could only see the back of the stranger, everything was hidden by a coat they were wearing. She squinted, trying to see who it was, she thought better than to shout out, it might not be someone friendly.
She slowly advanced forward, what the hell was she doing? She should turn back now and alert someone. But then again when she thought about it, it's not like anyone could make it into Hogwarts grounds without being detected.
It must be a student, or a teacher, or someone from the Ministry. No harm in that.
"Hey!" she yelled out, the figure didn't turn around.
She walked towards the person, "Excuse me…?"
She stopped midway. She felt a chill down her spine. She felt scared.
She reached her hand towards the shadow but before she could the person turned their head around.
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"Draco?" she asked.
He didn't say anything, just stared into her and turned back to the lake.
She didn't know what to do, was this even Draco? For one the usual Draco wouldn't be out in the grounds so late, and he would also have probably sworn at her by now, and lastly it didn't look like him.
Sure it had his hair and his eyes but there was something in his face she couldn't put in place, it was like she was looking at a reflection of her pain, his eyes were shining with what looked like tears and his face was ghostly pale.
"Draco what are you doing?" she asked and reached out to grab his arm.
She pulled her hand away as she looked at the knife in his hand, she saw the blood slowly trickling down the blade, he didn't seem to care, for the first time he spoke.
"Get away Granger."
She looked at his left arm where the sleeve had been pulled back and stifled back a scream.
His arm was badly deformed, there were small cuts all across his arm and one big cut intersecting it, it was lucky he was still alive, she could see the major blood vein, which he just missed. The blood was gushing out and traveling down his arm, some of it dripping into his robe, others fell into the water. She was horrified by it, she had never seen anyone cut themselves before, she's read about it in Muggle books and thought of it as a stupid way to kill oneself. But when she was faced it, she was stunned and scared.
"Draco, we have to get you to Madame Promfrey," she said and attempted to grab him again, but he shook her off.
"Leave me alone, go. Piss off." He said without looking at her and raised the blade again.
She couldn't let him, she couldn't let someone kill themselves in front of her, she didn't want to see.
"NO!" she scrambled forward and grabbed his right hand where he held the knife, she tried to pull in out of his hands, careful not to touch the sharp edge. He was struggling, he was already weak from the blood loss and he tried to shake her off his hand, with one swerve he turned the knife out of her grasp and he felt it scrape some skin.
Draco felt blood trickle down his hand, but it didn't feel right, he couldn't feel any pain.
He looked at his arm.
It wasn't his blood.
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A/N: This chapter's recommendation is: "One Wrong Turn" by CeLeStIaL BeInG which can be found under favourite stories. Okay that chapter was disturbing… even to me when I wrote it *shudder* oh well it's over and the next chapter will be as bright as sunshine! Okay probably not, it would be like a follow up to this but yeah!
By the way my birthday is coming up on October the 5th and I also have a violin exam coming up so the best I can do is uploading this every fortnight. I'm really sorry! After this month the chapters will be updated more regularly!
And Lastly and most importantly THANK YOU TO MY BETA READERS: Ishani and Sesen innocent**teen for the great "betaring" of this chapter!