Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, I would like to own Draco though… *sigh*… Magrese Malfoy, Professor McMahn and Proffesor Colver however I do own. Rest belongs to J.K. Rowling
Author Note: Thank you all my great reviewers and all of you who bothered to read up to chapter 7! Okay this chapter is a bit boring and "draggy" and STRANGE but enjoy anyway! Okay I'm writing this on my birthday (coz sadly I have nothing better to do) before I go out to my party. So wish me fun!!! (not that I won't have any fun). This is out of the blue but does anyone recommend any good mangas to read?? Current mangas I'm reading are Peach Girl, Mars, Paradise Kiss, Confidential Confessions and Marmalade Boy. But I'm kind of getting bored of them =[
++Chapter Six: The Forgeries of Jealousy ++
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Hermione ran.
She clutched her wrist with her other hand and sobbed. The red blood was still warm and spread like a crimson flower onto her hand. Strangely she felt no pain. It was like taking a dose of sleeping pills, feeling as if she was slowly dying… slowly slipping away… slowly falling asleep…
She stumbled back to the castle. Draco might have been calling her, but she didn't care, she just wanted to leave him.
How dare he! It was his entire fault, she tried to be angry, but no matter what she did she just felt this feeling of pity. She pitied him…
Reaching the castle, she struggled to open the door and ran inside. Her feet sliding on the ground she ran on, past the Great Hall and towards the Gryffindor common room.
I wonder if he's all right, for all I know, he might be dead by now.
She couldn't help but feel strange as the image of him and his arm kept on popping into her head, she felt sick, like she was going to hurl. She just couldn't get rid of the image in her head, the blood dripping white arm.
She stepped up the stairs two at a time, rushing towards the common room. Many times she stopped and touched her head, she was starting to get a migraine.
She looked down at her wrist.
The cut wasn't that bad, it was just long, it slashed at an angle across her wrist and blood was oozing out.
She turned her eyes away and kept on climbing.
Nearly there… she could see the familiar hallway which lead to the Portrait of the Fat Lady, come on, she told herself, nearly there…
As she reached the top of the staircase she felt a feeling of relief, a few more steps and she would be there! Her comfortable bed all of a sudden seemed so welcoming, but she had to hurry, or else she might not make it. She stumbled on still.
She felt something soft and furry rub past her shin and she looked down and stepped back.
It was Mrs. Norris.
In the night her fur blended in with the dark hallway and all you could see was those two bright yellow eyes…
Hermione leaned against the wall staring at the cat; as if it got any closer something horrible was going to happen. The cat stepped towards her and raised its head in anticipation, staring at her with hunger in its eye.
Suddenly it ran off towards the other end of the hallway, her bell softly ringing.
Hermione breathed heavily, she had to hurry, Mrs. Norris would have gotten to Filch by now, and she didn't want to be caught out of bounds; Especially now.
She half ran half fell towards the portrait. Yes, closer and closer, nearly…
"Who goes there?" growled a voice she knew too well from behind her.
Shit, she thought. She was caught.
Hermione turned around and came face to face with the caretaker everyone loathed. She opened her mouth to speak, but she felt like she had now reached the soft bed of unconsciousness.
And then she fell.
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Draco lay next to the lake, he didn't know whether he fell or whether he lay down. He opened his eyes and looked at the stars. He remembered when he was young his mother would hold him in her arms and tell the stories of the stars, she told him that every star had a story and that every star was someone who cared for him.
He half smiled.
Hermione.
Suddenly the name popped into his head, what was that stupid girl doing in the middle of the night? Wandering around the school? But there was something about the way she tried to stop him that he stopped and thought about her.
Where was she now? How was she?
He hit himself on the head, he was getting stupid, well half to blame for the blood loss.
But she brought him back to reality, he remembered Hogwarts, he remembered Crabbe and Goyle, he remembered his first stolen kiss from Pansy in 6th year, he remembered last year's Quidditch match where there was a tie, the match where he finally caught the snitch before Harry the Pothead…
What was this? Was he turning back? Just when he got so close to ending everything she comes out of nowhere and now he's like this?
But then something came into his mind, they way that Narcissa always told him that, 'no matter how low you feel, look up, because you are always among the stars with me, no matter what you do, as long as you're alive and well it's good enough for me'.
Her words rang out in his head and he closed his eyes. But he thought that by doing this maybe he could see her again, and escape all this. He hated everything.
This was his own battle he had to fight, the battle inside his head. But next time maybe he could do better… rather than the raise the white flag in defeat maybe he could try to triumph. To prove who he was. Not to his father, but to himself. Pulling out now was a cowardly thing to do and although his life was unbearable to live, there must still be some essence in it.
Suicide was just the easy way out, it was like cheating to get to the door of death before you're meant to go there. But in a way, after you die, people take more notice of you than they ever did, To die was to live forever in someone's heart. But when you actually stand before death you start thinking of life, and really appreciating it.
To say you want to die and actually doing it was something very different.
That was what suicide was.
Maybe this wasn't the time to do this, maybe he shouldn't have done what he had done. Time for plan B.
"Medicor."
The cuts on his arm slowly healed and he felt the pain stop. It felt so refreshing, like after taking a shower early in the morning to wake yourself up. He looked up at the stars again.
"Mother are you there?" he whispered to the stars
Funny how a stupid Mudblood was enough to bring him back and save him, he thought and with that he closed his eyes and slept.
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The morning light shone through the boys' dormitories, Harry rolled over away from the rays and opened his eyes, he saw a blurry outline of Ron half falling off the bed snoring. He reached onto his drawer and pulled his glasses on and yawned. Looking over at the clock told him it was 7:16.
He stood up and scratched his head and he started putting on his robes.
"I love you…" Ron muttered in his sleep, turning his head from side to side and kicking his feet.
Harry stopped and stared at him, man he needed some serious help. He walked over to Ron and slapped his head.
"Oi mate, wake up." Harry walked away again, trying to find his tie.
"What?" Ron sat up and attempted to open his eyes, "you destroyed my beautiful dream." He shook his head trying to get his hair out of his eyes.
Harry faced him, "Uh…huh. No I stopped you getting horny."
Ron looked down at his boxers and his ears turned bright red. He grabbed his sheets and covered himself in haste.
Harry laughed and walked away.
"Hey Harry have you seen my book?" Neville was rummaging through his bags, "The one that Gran got me."
"Yeah I think you lent it to Hermione yesterday," Harry said as he triumphantly found his tie under his bed.
"Oh yeah that's right," Neville said.
"Ron, Hogsmeade is coming up and they've opened this new shop full of Quidditch stuff I hear, wanna go check it out?" Harry asked Ron who was very carefully dressing with his back to them.
Ron turned his head around and nodded.
"Hey Ron let's get some breakfast, I'm starving," Harry called out to Ron.
"Yeah… alright," Ron muttered.
"Oh and by the way who was the dream about anyway?" Harry winked.
"SHUT UP!"
Everyone in the common room turned their head to see a laughing Harry running down the stairs and Ron chasing him, still half dressed and raising his hand in a fist.
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"Where's Hermione I wonder," Harry asked Ron, while spreading some jam on some slightly burnt toast.
"O Munk- we's dreeping," Ron 'said' as he stuffed his mouth with a whole rash of bacon.
"You're sick, close your mouth when you talk."
Ron looked around at who said it and slowly turned back to Harry, afraid to look back at what was behind him.
"Huh? Do I really look this bad?" Lavender teased, sitting down next to him.
Harry rolled his eyes and started an intense conversation on mandrakes with Neville.
"Uh, no- I just…" Ron looked down at his food.
Lavender smiled, "alright Ron."
She reached forward and started peeling an orange. Is this all she eats? Being a girl and beautiful must be hard to keep up, Ron thought.
"You know a Hogsmeade weekend is coming up soon," she placed a small piece of the orange inside her mouth and chewed, "so you going to take me?"
"Uh…" Ron said, while his mind was going crazy.
SAY YES! One half of him said, You like her right? Right? Right? But the other half was going you CAN'T, you were meant to go to the new place with Harry.
Friend's promise…? A beautiful Girl…? Ron thought, "AARRGGHH THIS IS TOO MUCH!" Realizing too late he said it out loud.
"Really? It is? I thought Hogsmeade would be kind of fun," Lavender said, disappointed, "Oh well, I'll go with my friends then!" She smiled and walked off.
"What happened to Ron?" Neville asked, poking Ron who had his face submerged in his cereal, looking as still as a statue.
"I think he just died," Harry drank some orange juice.
"I DIDN'T JUST DIE!" Ron raised his head and yelled. Neville shrunk back in fear at Ron's face dripping with milk.
"Life is so unfair," Ron sighed.
He continued eating, it wasn't too late to go back to her and say yes. Harry would understand wouldn't he? Well he better, otherwise he would just be a lousy best friend. But it wasn't hard to tell that Harry didn't really like Lavender.
Ron sighed.
"You've sighed a lot today," said Ginny, who Ron only just realized was sitting where Lavender had sat two seconds ago, "anyone seen Hermione? She wasn't even in her dormitory this morning when I checked up on her."
"I wonder what happened, hope she's alright," Harry said.
"Yeah maybe she was studying for the N.E.W.T.S already," Ron joked, "you know how she is, sitting up late till the morning in the library is the thing for her."
Ron suddenly became aware that everyone was staring behind him, he slowly turned his head.
"Ah Hermione, I was only joking…ha ha ha…" Ron's voice trailed off and he resumed to eating his cereal. Man I'm hopeless, he thought.
"Hermione!" Harry smiled, moving to his right to make way for her to sit between him and Ron, "where have you been?"
No use lying, she thought, "I was in the hospital wing." She didn't sit down.
"What happened?" asked Ginny concerned
"I just- never mind," Hermione said it matter-of-factly like it was the end of the matter.
"Hermione what happened? Harry asked again stubbornly.
"I- just hit my knee on the corner of a table that was all," Hermione lied, she didn't want to tell them the truth, or maybe she didn't want to admit the truth.
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"She cut her artery, in one single stroke, it was amazing she still survived, if Filch didn't find her sooner…"
"But why would she? What did she say when you asked her?"
"She didn't say anything, it was like…"
"Like what Professor?"
"I think she's ashamed to admit it."
"But Miss Granger seemed to healthy, so happy, she had many friends, good grades, why would she do something like this?"
"Sometimes the brightest smiles hide the saddest people…"
Hermione sat in Muggle studies alone in the corner, she remembered what she overheard the previous night when she was pretending to sleep.
Great, now the headmaster and nurse think she's suicidal.
Why didn't she tell them about Draco? Maybe he was there the whole time in the hospital wing too? Maybe he was already gone…
Would he have been called for attempted murder if she had told, would he have been expelled? And it makes no difference whether she had said it or not…
He wasn't there at breakfast, the whole time she sat there, listening to her friends talk hollow talk she wanted them to notice she big slit across her wrist. She didn't even bother covering it up, she wanted them to notice something.
She didn't even care that she nearly died, she didn't think about it.
It was a good thing that neither Harry nor Ron were in this class. Or Draco.
But in a way she was curious, wouldn't there have been an announcement over breakfast if he was… gone…?
And there wasn't, which meant one thing, he was still alive!
She was almost happy! That her arch enemy since 1st year was still alive somewhere…
"Miss Granger? Seeing as you are so in your own little world could you take something to Professor Trelawney?" Hermione looked up at Professor Colver.
"Y-Yes?" she asked, aware that she was probably distracting the rest of the class and not paying attention.
"Professor Trelawney once again asked me to take some Muggle books here to her," Professor Colver handed over some heavy books.
"A-Alright," Hermione walked out.
Gryffindors and Slytherins had Divination now, maybe she could see him…
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Hermione tried to balance at the top of the ladder to Divination. The heavy books on "Ancient Muggles: Superstitions and Customs" Volumes 1 through to 6 were as heavy as a whole set of Britannica Encyclopedias!
She forced one hand free and knocked on the door where she could hear voices from.
The bug-eyed teacher opened the door and looked down at her, "Hello there dear. Need a hand?"
For a woman possibly in her 100's she was immensely strong as she carried half of the books.
Hermione looked around the classroom. There was Lavender and her group at the front, gossiping and giving Ron looks. Ron looking smug was sitting at the side with Harry, there were other people from Gryffindor and Slytherin. Where was he?
Her heart skipped a beat.
Shit! He wasn't here! Everyone else was! Maybe…
"Alright thanks dear, you can go back to class," Professor Trelawney said as she grabbed the rest of the books from Hermione's hands, breaking her train of thought, she stopped and stared at her wrist, Hermione followed her gaze.
"Are you the same girl from yesterday?"
"Y-Yes," Hermione said.
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Draco ran to Divination, cursing himself, he was late.
He stopped running- since when did he care?
He had now reached the door, he climbed the ladder and pushed open the door and peeked his eyes out, aware the whole class was staring at him including Professor Trelawney and Hermione.
Granger?
He stared at her face, full of emotion hard to read and looked down at her wrist, which Trelawney had now grabbed. He was amazed that it was now a scar. Then again what did he expect?
He couldn't get his eyes of her as she looked away in a hurry.
He scrambled into the room and slowly walked to the back of the class, she was purposely avoiding his eyes.
"Class… as you can see, my prediction of yesterday was correct!" Professor Trelawney said as she raised Hermione's arm in the air like she just won a boxing match, like attempted murder was perfectly normal.
"Now who was it?" she asked.
"I- err-" Hermione stuttered.
SHIT!
Draco swore under his breath, great, the stupid Mudblood was going to turn him in for sure, he should have just died yesterday, he could imagine it now, everyone looking down at him more than ever, she was the smartest person in the school!
"It was an accident…"
Draco looked up startled, aware that Hermione's eyes were now on him, the rest of the class following her gaze, her eyes had lost all colour and emotion, they looked so empty, she looked angry, yet sad at the same time. Why wasn't she giving him in?
"I… just accidentally cut myself in Muggle studies while cooking some food." Hermione smiled weakly back at Professor Trelawney.
It was good that Professor Trelawney had no idea what was taught in Muggle studies. Or that the school had no cooking bays.
With that Hermione turned away and went back through the door.
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Hermione stretched as she hurried from the Muggle studies room.
She couldn't forget the way that Draco looked at her, like he was amazed she was still alive. Almost like he had wanted her to be dead. That scumbag.
She hurried to Defence Against the Dark Arts, she needed to tell Ron how she felt
She was sick of waiting for him. She was sick of waiting for Ron to realize that she loved him.
He didn't know how much he hurt her, making her jealous with a bimbo like her.
Jealousy?
Maybe that was the trick! If she went out with someone maybe he would finally realize her! She hit herself on the head. Stupid Muggle movie they watched today made her think like a stupid idiot.
But maybe it was just stupid enough. Maybe this way he would admit his feelings for her, because he wouldn't be jealous unless he had feelings right?
The hallway was nearly empty, everyone was already in a classroom, it was a pain walking from the most eastern side to the most western side of the castle.
Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and she turned around.
"Malfoy?" she gasped.
He grabbed her by the wrists and dragged her into a broom closet.
Merlin! Hermione thought, struggling. First he nearly murders her, now he was going to rape her.
"LET ME GO!" she yelled.
He closed the door and the room turned pitch black, Draco was now standing between the door and her, she could feel his warm breath on her face. Man she didn't want to lose her virginity like this. She moved her feet to avoid stepping into a bucket.
"Lumos."
Draco's wand shone up and illuminated his face.
"Why didn't you tell her?"
"Huh?" Hermione didn't expect this.
"Why didn't you tell the old hag what really happened?"
It took Hermione a moment to realize whom he meant by 'old hag'. The truth was she didn't know.
She looked down at his wrists. It looked just like her own, and there were tons of small scars, obviously magically healed. So he had gone to Madame Promfrey's after all!
"I-" Hermione stuttered, what was she going to say?"
Suddenly something came into her mind.
"I didn't because…" she said, now confident, "I need you."
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A/N: Quotes: "The forgeries of jealousy" is by William Shakespeare. Strange how I can suddenly remember all this school stuff -_-
Special Thanks to my beta readers: Ish, Sesen and Amber/girlidragon. ^^ THANK YOU ALL HEAPS!
Oh and Amber after you told me that this twist has been done before I started crying. Actually I didn't ^^ I was just really disappointed. And here I thought I had an original storyline. GGRR! CURSE THE OTHER AUTHORS! I mean… I like potatoes. =)
Man that was bad… =[ I mean I couldn't really reason why Draco stopped himself. It might not seem very realistic and I APOLOGIZE! But thanks to Reiko Momochi (author of "Confidential Confessions") for that was where I got some of the… let's say "inspiration". It's so weird whenever I write anything funny I always imagine all this anime visuals like the sweatdrop and everything. Call me obsessed! For some weird reason this chapter I think is funny… then again I'm weird…
Anyways I feel like re writing my old stories because all my friends are telling me they liked them too… hmm… considering… Until next time…
Spread your wings and believe
Sophia (who is now 14!!)