Yugi, Yugi Doo

Chapter One: ...WHAT THE ASCOT?!

Summary: When Joey decides to cast a spell to bring Mai back from the Shadow Realm, he accidentally sends Seto, Anzu, Yugi, and Mai to an alternate dimention-as a gang of groovy mystery solvers! And Joey, well, after all Seto's taunting, he gets to be Scooby Doo! ^.^ (and I'm going to try not to bash him too much!) Plus, Yami likes beer! If only he had an ID...

A/N: I don't own YGO, even though I do wish I owned Seto and Yami. ^_~ And I don't own Scooby Doo either!

Fred-Seto

Daphne-Anzu(Tea)

Velma-Mai

Shaggy-Yugi/Yami

Scooby Doo-Joey

(end A/N ^.^)

"I'm gonna get you back, Mai!" Joey shouted, stirring the potion, then looking up into the cold blue eyes that had surprisingly offered to help him, in order for something that Joey didn't know he could do.

"Magic always has consenquences, Wheeler." Seto Kaiba said, and Joey glared at Kaiba. Just because Kaiba had given him the ingredients he needed didn't mean that he was actually going to ask Anzu to go on a date with him. He wouldn't willingly put his best friend in the hands of a cold-hearted asshole like that...

"Well, whatever they are, they're worth it." Joey said, with his heavy Boston accent showing even more as he showed more emotion.

"You..love her." Kaiba said plainly, and Joey's shoulders slumped.

"I think so. I don't know. I just know...that I want-need her back. And I don't care who I have to get to help me, who I ask out, who else on the planet blows up-I just want Mai back. I don't care if *I* go to the Shadow Realm. But I'm not letting her stay there." Joey said, then looked back at Seto. "Can I get the purple thing?"

"The bellaweed? Here." Seto said, nearly throwing it at the younger guy. Joey was frowning, then pinched a leaf off of the end and added it to his brewing potion. Both men flinched a bit when the liquid inside started to rise up, and Joey and Kaiba pulled little paper slips out of their pockets and began to chant;

"Spirit, Spirit of the Dark

Bring me back and go embark

On a journey to return a friend

Journey until the land's end!"

Well..that was what they were supposed to chant. And Kaiba chanted it. But, apparently the potion got on Joey's slip.

"Spoofit, Spoofit of the Dark

Bring me back a giant fart

And down you will bend

Journey until the land's end!"

And with that, a dark portal opened and sucked Joey and Kaiba right up....

*Ten Minutes Later*

"uhhh....." Seto groaned, then looked around at the big green van in front of him, "what the fun?"

"Rolf!" something behind him shouted, and he craned his still sore neck to see. And nearly died laughing. Joey was sitting down and scratching his ear.

"HAHA!! WHEELER IS A DOG!!!" Kaiba cheered, then grasped his stomach, tears nearly coming from his eyes due to laughing.

"Rot runny." Joey retorted, and Seto just laughed harder.

"I think you want to say, 'rot in hell', not 'rot runny'." he shouted, then felt himself being kicked hard in the side.

"I know this was *YOUR* fault, Kaiba! Is this some sick idea of a joke?" Anzu asked, and Kaiba rolled over.

"I didn't do it-it was his damn-" he began, but Anzu kicked him again. She was pissed.

"Who else would turn Joey into a dog?" she asked, and Seto frowned-she did have a point. But he'd die before he told her, so he just shrugged.

"Rai ras rying ro ring Rai rack rom rhe rhadow realm!" Joey yelled, then started to scratch his chest like mad, "Rai rink Rai rave reas!" he whined, and Kaiba started to clutch his stomach in laughter again.

"Hah...Wheeler's got FLEAS!" he cheered, then found himself being kicked again. And it wasn't Anzu.

"Shut it, Kaiba." Mai said, then walked over and patted Joey on top of his unruly blonde hair. "Don't worry, Joey. We're friends-and I'll do anything for my friends. Something I learned from you."

"Aw, cut the crap. How do we get out of here?" Seto asked, and someone else walked out from behind the van-someone Seto wasn't used to seeing outside of a duel arena.

"I don't know, Kaiba, but I agree. We must leave here at once." Yami Yugi said, and the entire group nodded, even Joey, who was still scratching himself.

"I don't know how we even *got* here!" Anzu shrieked, and Yami shrugged.

"Maybe Kaiba and Joey know." he said, and started to glare at Seto threateningly, fully aware of Joey's...impairement.

"Well, Joey was casting a spell in an attempt to return Mai from the Shadow Realm. He mixed the potion, then we read the chant, and ended up here. I think he botched reading it, though, considering I have a skilled Black Mage on the payroll at Kaiba Corp, and they use the spell often. Wheeler, when you lose the fleas, tell me what you said. Maybe I can contact him and ask him what went wrong." he said, and Anzu was frowning.

"You have a Black Mage on Kaiba Corp payroll?" she asked, and Seto nodded.

"You wouldn't believe who else is on it." he said, and chuckled, "Right now, Wheeler here owes me one."

"RILL ROT!" Joey protested, and only stopped scratching him when Mai started to scratch his head, which caused him to smile. At least she was back, even if he was a walking speech impediment with fleas...

"Yes you will! I got you those ingredients and that spell! And you screw it up, get us stuck here, and then you won't even fulfill your end of the bargain? BULLSHIT!" Kaiba snapped, and Mai started to frown.

"Err, hate to interrupt, but where's Yami?" she asked, and the four of them looked around, finding no sign of their friend until he came out of the back of the van a couple of seconds later.

"Hey guys, look what I found!" Yugi said, clearly letting his old self out and holding up a six-pack of Corona, "I think we should throw it away."

"Nah, why not feed it to Wheeler and watch him chase his tail?" Seto suggested, and Yugi frowned.

"That's mean, Kaiba. And I'm not a mean...YUUUUGIOHHHH" Yugi said, and Yami re-appeared. "No one is getting this beer. No one but me. This is *MY* beer, I found it."

"Share." Seto snapped, and Yami shook his head.

"Besides, you're all kids. Except Mai. I'm 5,020 years old. So I can drink all the beer I want!" he shouted, and Mai raised an eyebrow.

"Does that mean you'll share your beer with me Yami?" she asked, and Yami shook his head.

"No, for it belongs to me! ME AND NO ONE ELSE!" he shouted, then opened a bottle and started chugging while the rest of the gang just stared at him.

"Err...I think we really need to get out of here..." Anzu said, and Seto nodded.

"Ohhh yeah. Drunk Yami is a bad sign. Very bad."