Hello, this is my first ever Rurouni Kenshin fic(or at least the first one
I am going to publish) and this is a PARODY of the show Fear Factor!!!
There are hints of couplings like Kenshin and Kaoru and Aoshi and Misao and
Sanosuke and Megumi. Okay? So
Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I own Rurouni Kenshin. Yeah. I am also the Queen of England.
.~.~.~.
~In Kamiya Dojo~
It was just a normal day. A VERY normal day. Cries of "Masshiro!(All white!)" can be heard from Ayame and Suzume in the laundry corner, with laughter from Kenshin. Kaoru was as usual teaching her only student(exceptional for Daigoro and Yutarou), Yahiko, and they were yet in another fight. Sanosuke was just sitting on the corridor, fooling around.
"Hello minna-san! Are my favourite grandaughters all right? Hmm?" Genzai- sensei came in from the short gate, with Megumi trailing behind.
"Yes, Genzai-sensei, they are very much all right, that they are. Ne, Ayame- chan, Suzume-chan(Right, Ayame-chan, Suzume-chan)?"
"Yah, Genzai-sensei, we had a lot of fun with Ken-nii!!" Both girls giggled. "Aa, that's good to hear, but I am afraid we have to go home!" The old doctor chuckled. "Are you coming with us, Megumi-san?"
"Iie(No), I want to stay hear for a while." The 22-year old replied. Glaring at the old rooster-head who was minding his own business, she strode over to Kenshin and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Ne, Ken-san. It's so good to see YOU, I haven't been here for a very long time..."
"Maa, Megumi-dono. I am very glad to see you. I am sure you are glad to see everyone." Kenshin sweatdropped.
Megumi sighed, thinking about how hard it was to flirt with the redhead. Kaoru and Yahiko can out of the training hall and saw Megumi. Kaoru bid a hello while Yahiko ran over and said, "Fox! It's sure good to see you! Got any of those delicious rice balls? I am starving from the busu's yucky meals!! You should see how BLACK the oden(japanese sort-of cuisine) was! Eww-" He was cut short by a vein-popping tanuki with her bokken. "Ow! Well, it's the truth-"
Suddenly, an enormous white light beamed over at them, transporting them to another dimension. Only Yahiko stayed behind, his eyes widening to the size of saucers.
~.~.~.~
~In the Aoiya~
Footsteps were heard from along the Zen temple corridors. Misao walked slowly, gripping the tea tray tight. Careful not to spill the tea, she slid the shoji open with one hand.
"Aoshi-sama, your tea is here."
Aoshi looked up from his meditating, and nodded his head to show appreciation.
The tea cermony has begun.
Misao kneeled down, setting the tea tray on the wooden floor. Pouring the hot liquid into the teacups, she winced in pain when some sprayed onto her arm. Aoshi looked up again, concerned, but not showing it. Then, suddenly, the room filled with white light and Misao started to slowly disappear into the floor, like she was sinking in water.
"Aoshi-sama!! What is happening to me?!!" Misao cried in shock.
"Misao!!?" Aoshi exclaimed, totally losing his cool(wouldn't you, if somebody just did something like that?). He quickly grabbed the girl's disappearing hand and before he knew it, he was in another dimension.
~_~_~_~
"Oroooooo..." Kenshin rubbed the back of his head. "What happened...?" He looked around his surroundings. It seemed to be a dark alley, with a few bodies lying around...one of them looks like Kaoru-dono...---
KAORU-DONO??!!
Kenshin immediately rushed towards the unconscious bodies and shook Kaoru's shoulders first. "Kaoru-dono! Shikashi(a short form of 'please wake up')! Kaoru-dono!!" He only stopped when Kaoru stirred and started to open her eyes slowly.
"Huh...Kenshin? I want to sleep for a little while more...HUH?!" She snapped her eyes open when she sensed that she WASN'T on her futon. "Where am I? Oh yeah! We were attacked by a huge bolt of light!!! Where are the others!?"
"Oro...Kaoru-dono...I am going deaf..." Kenshin started to faint.
"Huh? Oh Kenshin! Don't faint on me-"
Sanosuke and Megumi woke up with a start.
"Oi, Kitsune-onna, could you please not lie on top of me?" Sanosuke groaned. "You know, you are not that light. My ribs are crushed." He smirked.
"Naniii???!!! Oh tori-atama!! You are SO gonna pay for that comment!" She gracefully slid off his chest with bright red cheeks and glared at the chicken-head.
"Megumi! Oh, we are SO glad to see you!" Kaoru cried.
"What about ME? And where the heck are we?" Sanosuke voiced.
"Yea...Is this even Japan?" A new voice came into the scene.
"MISAO!!" The whole Kenshin-gumi cried. "And AOSHI!"
"Oh, hi guys. I knew I'd be seeing you here. I mean, we are practically in EVERY single mess you get into. Ne, Aoshi-sama?"
"Aa..."
"Okay, forget it. Where the heck are we? I don't count this as Japan..." Sanosuke looked at the English posters on the brick walls of the alley.
"YOU ARE IN THE 21ST CENTURY IN WASHINGTON D.C.!!!" A deep voice boomed from nowhere.
"I HAVE CAPTURED YOU BECAUSE I LIKE TO DO THAT TO PEOPLE!!!!" It continued again.
*sweatdrops start cascading down the kenshin-gumi plus misao(no aoshi)'s head *
"Oi! Get us back in the... 21st CENTURY?????!!!!!!!!! WTF??!!!" Sanosuke and the rest of the gang finally sunk in the mysterious psycho's words. They were in the 21st century, bloody hell!
"How the hell are we supposed to get back home? Oi, answer me!" Misao shouted to nowhere.
"YOU ARE TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS REALITY SHOW CALLED 'FEAR FACTOR'. USUALLY ONLY ONE PERSON WILL WIN, BUT IT WILL BE IN A SPECIAL EDITION. NOW, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET ALL OF YOU TO WIN THIS GAME AND YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF IN JAPAN, AT THE RIGHT CENTURY IN NO TIME!!"
"What IS 'Fear Factor' anyway?" Kaoru asked.
"THIS IS THE HARD PART. MUAHHAHAHAHA! 'FEAR FACTOR' IS A REALITY SHOW WHERE ALL OF YOU WILL HAVE TO COMPLETE THREE STUNTS. THREE STUNTS AND YOU CAN GO HOME. BUT THE THING IS, THESE THREE STUNTS CAN BE ANYTHING! SO BE PREPARED..."
"Oro... Then how are we going to communicate? Sessha can't speak English, Kaoru-dono can't speak English, Sano can't speak English, Megumi-dono can't speak English, Misao-dono can't speak English, and last of all Aoshi can't -"
"I CAN." Aoshi said.
"Oro...Okay...Demo, what about the rest of us?"
(Author's Notes: I know it is weird, because they ARE speaking in English, but it's my Microsoft Word. Just pretend that they are speaking Japanese.)
"I CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT. ALAKAZAAAMMMM!!!!!"
Suddenly, the gang(I am calling them that from now on) felt something funny in their throats.
"What's going on-" Misao gasped when she heard herself speak a language she has never tried speaking before so fluently-English.
(Author's Notes: From now onwards, they are speaking English.)
"NOW ALL OF YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO SPEAK ENGLISH!!!! NOW FOR THE CLOTHES...I CAN'T POSSIBLY LET ALL OF YOU GO OUT LIKE THAT..."
"What's wrong with these clothes?" Megumi asked.
"BECAUSE YOU ARE IN THE 21ST CENTURY. GOT IT? GOT IT. NOW, ALAKAZAAAAMMMM!!!!!!"
*poof *
Everybody's old Japanese clothes were changed to...
Kenshin was wearing a lawyer's suit, complete with the wig which didn't cover his long red hair at all. Kaoru was wearing a clown's suit with a red nose. Megumi was wearing a surgeon's green suit with a shower cap on top of her head. Sanosuke was wearing a barrel. Misao was wearing a VERY revealing bikini. Aoshi was wearing a greek robe with a garland of leaves on his head.
"WTF??????" Misao cried, trying desperately to cover her...Erherm...PARTS.
"So flat-chested itachi-musume isn't so flat-chested after all." Sanosuke grinned lecherously at Misao's perfect figure.
*WHACK!* Megumi bristled.
"What? I was only looking at her perfect round-"
*WHACK!!* Aoshi coughed.
(Author's Notes: If you don't get it, the first whack for Sanosuke was by Megumi, while the second whack was my Aoshi. Hahahaha. I gotta change this rating from PG to PG-13. Fast.)
"OOPS. SORRY. ALAKAZZZAAAAMMMM!!!!!!!!"
*Poof!* This time their clothes changed to normal modern ones.
Kenshin was wearing a loose red shirt with light blue jeans. Kaoru was wearing a blue sleeveless with a pair of boardshorts. Megumi was wearing a black open button-up shirt with a red tank top inside. Plus VERY short shorts that reveal her long sexy legs. Sanosuke was wearing a T-shirt that says: I am COOL. With a pair of matching maroon khakis. Misao was wearing a sleeveless white button-up shirt with three buttons undone and a black pair of three-quarter pants. Aoshi was wearing a long-sleeved shirt inside and a T-shirt outside with a pair of long black pants.
It was now Sanosuke's turn to drool at Megumi's legs, much to her pleasure(HEHEHE).
"NOW I WILL TELL YOU A FEW IMPORTANT RULES: NEVER OOOOH AND AHHHH AT THINGS THAT ARE NOT FAMILIAR TO YOU. BASIC INFORMATION ABOUT THE FUTURE WORLD IS ALREADY INSTALLED IN YOUR BRAINS. NEVER SHOW ANY OLD TRADITIONS OF THE OLD JAPANESE TIMES. THIS IS MODERN AMERICA. OKAY? ALRIGHT. THOSE ARE THE RULES. NOW GO AND ENTERTAIN ME WITH YOUR UTTER STUPIDITY!!!!! MUAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
"Ahou(Dumbo)." Everybody said at the same time, even good-natured Kenshin.
"SHUDDUP! NOW I WILL TRANSPORT YOU TO THE 'FEAR FACTOR' STUDIO."
*Dramatic spinning of screen.*
~*~*~*~
I WILL END HERE!!!! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
In case you didn't notice, I AM the mad psycho guy in capital letters. If fanfiction.net warps this fanfiction, don't blame it on me. Okay?
MoonPhoenix
Disclaimer: I own Rurouni Kenshin. Yeah. I am also the Queen of England.
.~.~.~.
~In Kamiya Dojo~
It was just a normal day. A VERY normal day. Cries of "Masshiro!(All white!)" can be heard from Ayame and Suzume in the laundry corner, with laughter from Kenshin. Kaoru was as usual teaching her only student(exceptional for Daigoro and Yutarou), Yahiko, and they were yet in another fight. Sanosuke was just sitting on the corridor, fooling around.
"Hello minna-san! Are my favourite grandaughters all right? Hmm?" Genzai- sensei came in from the short gate, with Megumi trailing behind.
"Yes, Genzai-sensei, they are very much all right, that they are. Ne, Ayame- chan, Suzume-chan(Right, Ayame-chan, Suzume-chan)?"
"Yah, Genzai-sensei, we had a lot of fun with Ken-nii!!" Both girls giggled. "Aa, that's good to hear, but I am afraid we have to go home!" The old doctor chuckled. "Are you coming with us, Megumi-san?"
"Iie(No), I want to stay hear for a while." The 22-year old replied. Glaring at the old rooster-head who was minding his own business, she strode over to Kenshin and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Ne, Ken-san. It's so good to see YOU, I haven't been here for a very long time..."
"Maa, Megumi-dono. I am very glad to see you. I am sure you are glad to see everyone." Kenshin sweatdropped.
Megumi sighed, thinking about how hard it was to flirt with the redhead. Kaoru and Yahiko can out of the training hall and saw Megumi. Kaoru bid a hello while Yahiko ran over and said, "Fox! It's sure good to see you! Got any of those delicious rice balls? I am starving from the busu's yucky meals!! You should see how BLACK the oden(japanese sort-of cuisine) was! Eww-" He was cut short by a vein-popping tanuki with her bokken. "Ow! Well, it's the truth-"
Suddenly, an enormous white light beamed over at them, transporting them to another dimension. Only Yahiko stayed behind, his eyes widening to the size of saucers.
~.~.~.~
~In the Aoiya~
Footsteps were heard from along the Zen temple corridors. Misao walked slowly, gripping the tea tray tight. Careful not to spill the tea, she slid the shoji open with one hand.
"Aoshi-sama, your tea is here."
Aoshi looked up from his meditating, and nodded his head to show appreciation.
The tea cermony has begun.
Misao kneeled down, setting the tea tray on the wooden floor. Pouring the hot liquid into the teacups, she winced in pain when some sprayed onto her arm. Aoshi looked up again, concerned, but not showing it. Then, suddenly, the room filled with white light and Misao started to slowly disappear into the floor, like she was sinking in water.
"Aoshi-sama!! What is happening to me?!!" Misao cried in shock.
"Misao!!?" Aoshi exclaimed, totally losing his cool(wouldn't you, if somebody just did something like that?). He quickly grabbed the girl's disappearing hand and before he knew it, he was in another dimension.
~_~_~_~
"Oroooooo..." Kenshin rubbed the back of his head. "What happened...?" He looked around his surroundings. It seemed to be a dark alley, with a few bodies lying around...one of them looks like Kaoru-dono...---
KAORU-DONO??!!
Kenshin immediately rushed towards the unconscious bodies and shook Kaoru's shoulders first. "Kaoru-dono! Shikashi(a short form of 'please wake up')! Kaoru-dono!!" He only stopped when Kaoru stirred and started to open her eyes slowly.
"Huh...Kenshin? I want to sleep for a little while more...HUH?!" She snapped her eyes open when she sensed that she WASN'T on her futon. "Where am I? Oh yeah! We were attacked by a huge bolt of light!!! Where are the others!?"
"Oro...Kaoru-dono...I am going deaf..." Kenshin started to faint.
"Huh? Oh Kenshin! Don't faint on me-"
Sanosuke and Megumi woke up with a start.
"Oi, Kitsune-onna, could you please not lie on top of me?" Sanosuke groaned. "You know, you are not that light. My ribs are crushed." He smirked.
"Naniii???!!! Oh tori-atama!! You are SO gonna pay for that comment!" She gracefully slid off his chest with bright red cheeks and glared at the chicken-head.
"Megumi! Oh, we are SO glad to see you!" Kaoru cried.
"What about ME? And where the heck are we?" Sanosuke voiced.
"Yea...Is this even Japan?" A new voice came into the scene.
"MISAO!!" The whole Kenshin-gumi cried. "And AOSHI!"
"Oh, hi guys. I knew I'd be seeing you here. I mean, we are practically in EVERY single mess you get into. Ne, Aoshi-sama?"
"Aa..."
"Okay, forget it. Where the heck are we? I don't count this as Japan..." Sanosuke looked at the English posters on the brick walls of the alley.
"YOU ARE IN THE 21ST CENTURY IN WASHINGTON D.C.!!!" A deep voice boomed from nowhere.
"I HAVE CAPTURED YOU BECAUSE I LIKE TO DO THAT TO PEOPLE!!!!" It continued again.
*sweatdrops start cascading down the kenshin-gumi plus misao(no aoshi)'s head *
"Oi! Get us back in the... 21st CENTURY?????!!!!!!!!! WTF??!!!" Sanosuke and the rest of the gang finally sunk in the mysterious psycho's words. They were in the 21st century, bloody hell!
"How the hell are we supposed to get back home? Oi, answer me!" Misao shouted to nowhere.
"YOU ARE TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS REALITY SHOW CALLED 'FEAR FACTOR'. USUALLY ONLY ONE PERSON WILL WIN, BUT IT WILL BE IN A SPECIAL EDITION. NOW, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET ALL OF YOU TO WIN THIS GAME AND YOU WILL FIND YOURSELF IN JAPAN, AT THE RIGHT CENTURY IN NO TIME!!"
"What IS 'Fear Factor' anyway?" Kaoru asked.
"THIS IS THE HARD PART. MUAHHAHAHAHA! 'FEAR FACTOR' IS A REALITY SHOW WHERE ALL OF YOU WILL HAVE TO COMPLETE THREE STUNTS. THREE STUNTS AND YOU CAN GO HOME. BUT THE THING IS, THESE THREE STUNTS CAN BE ANYTHING! SO BE PREPARED..."
"Oro... Then how are we going to communicate? Sessha can't speak English, Kaoru-dono can't speak English, Sano can't speak English, Megumi-dono can't speak English, Misao-dono can't speak English, and last of all Aoshi can't -"
"I CAN." Aoshi said.
"Oro...Okay...Demo, what about the rest of us?"
(Author's Notes: I know it is weird, because they ARE speaking in English, but it's my Microsoft Word. Just pretend that they are speaking Japanese.)
"I CAN TAKE CARE OF THAT. ALAKAZAAAMMMM!!!!!"
Suddenly, the gang(I am calling them that from now on) felt something funny in their throats.
"What's going on-" Misao gasped when she heard herself speak a language she has never tried speaking before so fluently-English.
(Author's Notes: From now onwards, they are speaking English.)
"NOW ALL OF YOU HAVE THE ABILITY TO SPEAK ENGLISH!!!! NOW FOR THE CLOTHES...I CAN'T POSSIBLY LET ALL OF YOU GO OUT LIKE THAT..."
"What's wrong with these clothes?" Megumi asked.
"BECAUSE YOU ARE IN THE 21ST CENTURY. GOT IT? GOT IT. NOW, ALAKAZAAAAMMMM!!!!!!"
*poof *
Everybody's old Japanese clothes were changed to...
Kenshin was wearing a lawyer's suit, complete with the wig which didn't cover his long red hair at all. Kaoru was wearing a clown's suit with a red nose. Megumi was wearing a surgeon's green suit with a shower cap on top of her head. Sanosuke was wearing a barrel. Misao was wearing a VERY revealing bikini. Aoshi was wearing a greek robe with a garland of leaves on his head.
"WTF??????" Misao cried, trying desperately to cover her...Erherm...PARTS.
"So flat-chested itachi-musume isn't so flat-chested after all." Sanosuke grinned lecherously at Misao's perfect figure.
*WHACK!* Megumi bristled.
"What? I was only looking at her perfect round-"
*WHACK!!* Aoshi coughed.
(Author's Notes: If you don't get it, the first whack for Sanosuke was by Megumi, while the second whack was my Aoshi. Hahahaha. I gotta change this rating from PG to PG-13. Fast.)
"OOPS. SORRY. ALAKAZZZAAAAMMMM!!!!!!!!"
*Poof!* This time their clothes changed to normal modern ones.
Kenshin was wearing a loose red shirt with light blue jeans. Kaoru was wearing a blue sleeveless with a pair of boardshorts. Megumi was wearing a black open button-up shirt with a red tank top inside. Plus VERY short shorts that reveal her long sexy legs. Sanosuke was wearing a T-shirt that says: I am COOL. With a pair of matching maroon khakis. Misao was wearing a sleeveless white button-up shirt with three buttons undone and a black pair of three-quarter pants. Aoshi was wearing a long-sleeved shirt inside and a T-shirt outside with a pair of long black pants.
It was now Sanosuke's turn to drool at Megumi's legs, much to her pleasure(HEHEHE).
"NOW I WILL TELL YOU A FEW IMPORTANT RULES: NEVER OOOOH AND AHHHH AT THINGS THAT ARE NOT FAMILIAR TO YOU. BASIC INFORMATION ABOUT THE FUTURE WORLD IS ALREADY INSTALLED IN YOUR BRAINS. NEVER SHOW ANY OLD TRADITIONS OF THE OLD JAPANESE TIMES. THIS IS MODERN AMERICA. OKAY? ALRIGHT. THOSE ARE THE RULES. NOW GO AND ENTERTAIN ME WITH YOUR UTTER STUPIDITY!!!!! MUAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"
"Ahou(Dumbo)." Everybody said at the same time, even good-natured Kenshin.
"SHUDDUP! NOW I WILL TRANSPORT YOU TO THE 'FEAR FACTOR' STUDIO."
*Dramatic spinning of screen.*
~*~*~*~
I WILL END HERE!!!! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
In case you didn't notice, I AM the mad psycho guy in capital letters. If fanfiction.net warps this fanfiction, don't blame it on me. Okay?
MoonPhoenix