"Whatchu mean 'not now'?! April O'Neil, if I find out you've done gone and skipped the only prom I'm probably ever gonna be able to get you to attend because you made plans with the Hamatos instead of finding a boy to go with, I'm gonna ground you for the next year an' a half… Might even add anotha six months, just cause I'm feelin' generous."
April moaned, putting her free hand over her cellphone, hoping to cover up her mother's voice protruding from the speakers, embarrassed that she had decided to call her while the turtle bros and Splinter were participating in monthly movie night.
As the movie continued to run in the background, she turned her back and tried to endure the onslaught of ranting away from the guys as her mother filled her ears with complaints about "not taking her single relationship status seriously," and when she was "gonna get a date for the prom?" It was taking place "in two weeks!"
The guys all tried their best to ignore the ranting coming from April's corner and focus on the movie, but from his seat within the la-z-boy in the middle of the room, Splinter couldn't help but overhear April's mother desperately trying to get her daughter to consider her own future regarding a possible relationship, heavily considering such an idea with his own sons.
For years now, his boys had been maturing into men, and one day, he hoped they would break away from his tutelage and become senseis to their own sons, – or daughters, for he secretly hoped at least one of them had nothing but girls – teaching them the ways of the Hamatos and loving them in ways he had failed to do.
Splinter's musings were broken, however, as April returned to her spot by his seat, sighing as she plopped back down, clearly disgruntled. No one spoke a word after that, content to let the family drama stay between April and her mom, and when the movie ended over an hour later, the boys all awkwardly insisted that it was time for bed, none of them wanting a quiet moment for April to brood, being far too embarrassed to have witnessed the event to begin with, so they each went their separate ways and left an aggravated April with Splinter.
The rat was quiet for several moments as he observed April's demeanor, eventually leaning in to place a warm hand on her shoulder.
"Your mother cares deeply for you, April." Splinter spoke quietly, surprising April as she glanced up at him from her sitting position next to his seat, wide eyed.
Her features softened as she breathed through her nose. "I know, but sometimes she just doesn't realize that it's a lot harder for me to talk to normal guys than it is to hang out with, well, you guys."
"You are afraid to talk to boys?" Splinter raised a brow. April normally had no issue communing with strangers, let alone boys.
"Kinda," April shrugged, "but it's more that guys don't really want to talk to me."
"That is unfortunate." Splinter hummed, plopping onto his feet as he stood before April, patting her hand. "If it offers any consolation, I doubt any of my sons would object to the opportunity to spend time in your presence."
April smiled warmly, laughing softly. "Thanks, Splints, but I doubt they can get me a date to the prom."
"A… date?"
"Yeah. My mom will have my throat if I don't go to the prom… But, if I'm bein' honest, I would like to go; I just don't think it's possible to find a guy that would go with me instead of another girl."
Splinter suddenly froze, eyes widening, an idea formulating in his tiny rat mind. A smile spread across his face as he chuckled, turning quickly to sprint out of the movie room.
"Uhh, you okay, Splints?" April tried to run after him, only to be halted by his raised palm.
"Never better! In fact, you should go home," he motioned his hands in a shooing manner, "because what I am about to do will both shock you, appease your mother, and bring honor to my family!"
April blinked as the short rat-man left the room, confused, and more than mildly concerned as his "I've got a trick up my sleeve" tinged chuckles echoed off the sewer walls, leaving her alone to try and deduce what exactly it was he was up to. She sincerely hoped it had nothing to do with the prom, but knowing Splints, it had everything to do with it.
"Raphael!"
Raphael loudly yelped, jumping up from his cot, awakened, losing his balance on the bedframe as he landed and rolling off of the side, crashing to the floor with a loud THUD! He laid on the floor moaning for several seconds, and when he was finally able to see past the stars circling his gaze, he shook his head and raised a brow in confusion.
"Pops?!"
Splinter stood in front of him, arms held behind his back as an expression of disappointment lined his features. He held out a finger, waving it around. "You dishonor me with your sleep schedule, now get up! There is work to be done!"
Raphael blinked, his stupor nearly overwhelming him as he rose from the floor and followed Splinter out of his room, rubbing the back of his head in confusion, grabbing his phone. This entire situation was very uncharacteristic of Splinter, especially considering Raphael was normally awake hours before Splinter ever got past his "morning nap," and glaring at his bright screen now, Raphael couldn't help but notice the time was only past three in the morning.
Okay, yeah, somethin's up. Donnie's done gone and experimented on Pops' brain again.
"Hey, uh, Pops? It's three-thirty," Raphael loudly whispered, "in the morning."
Splinter shushed him, flicking his wrist, emphasizing his desire for Raphael to follow him into the kitchen, to which the teen did obediently, though not without attempting to mirror the rat's silent footsteps in the process. Once they had entered the empty room, Splinter reached up and grabbed a set of metal pans from the center island, handing them to Raphael, who clenched one in each hand hesitantly, the confusion evident on his face. Splinter then grabbed a third one and plopped it onto his shoulder with a grin.
"Pops, you gotta tell Raph what's goin' on."
"It is very simple, Raphael:" Splinter lifted his pointer finger, "We are going to take these metal pans," he then placed his free hand on his hip, "and rudely awaken your brothers."
At first, Raphael thought the old man was coming down with the rat flu again, but the longer he stared at the grinning expression on the little rat-man's face and glanced between the shimmering frying pans begging to be used to harness chaos, the more he began to favor this idea, a mischievous grin spreading across his own face as he clenched his fists, raising the pans.
"Oh-ho yeah…"
Lustrous dreams of Pythagoras theorems didn't hold water to the contrast of the rage-inducing clanging noises currently erupting from the direction of the atrium, Donnie concluded after screaming into his pillow for the torture to end after having previously gone through the five stages of grief, all within the span of ten short seconds. However, when the noise persisted past fifteen, he leapt from his bed, teeth gritted, swearing he would murder whoever was making this noise, hide their body while wearing latex gloves (to avoid detection of prints, of course), then claim innocence while everyone else took the time to point fingers at Leo for being the most likely to stab said victim.
Speaking of Leo, he seemed about as amused with the entire debacle as he appeared in Donnie's line of sight, clearly disgruntled as well at having been awoken at this hour of night. The two made eye contact for a split second, silently communicating their agreement that they'd murder the guilty party together and blame it on Raph.
(Of course, Donnie was still going to blame it on Leo, but that portion needn't be communicated. Let the twin brother think what he wanted before dropping his hopes like a hot potato. Either way, Donnie was going back to sleep with a clear conscience.)
As the two entered the atrium, they covered their ears as they yelled in surprise, Raphael and Splinter both positioned in the middle banging metal pots together as loudly as they could manage as Mikey came tumbling into the room, screaming at the top of his lungs in terror before abruptly realizing his fear was misplaced and the noise had only been an overwhelming wake up call.
"Glad you sleepy-heads could join us." Raphael mocked them with a chuckle, ceasing his incessant clanging, only to be elbowed in the leg by Splinter, who the rest assumed knew something they did not.
The rat sat his pot down and folded his arms, smirking. "Now that you are all awake, it is time to train like you have never trained before."
His response was a lack of enthusiasm, yawns, and a few glazed looks, but he seemed to hold the delusion that the boys – or at least Raphael – were alert enough to care, so he continued.
"As you all know, it is very important to me that you all work diligently to bring honor to your family."
"At three…uh, three-?"
"Thirty-four."
"Thanks, Don… Three-thirty-something in the morning?" Leo deadpanned, fighting to keep his eyes open, head nodding ever-so-slightly as he peeked at the clock on his phone.
"Especially at three-thirty-something in the morning." Splinter nodded, once, placing his arms behind his back as he smacked the phone out of Leo's hand with his tail, instantly waking him up.
"Now, in order to bring honor to your family, you are required to prove that you are worthy of providing the service of April's prom escort though a series of tests."
The boys collectively raised their brows, glancing between one another, then back towards Splinter.
"You wanna run that one by Raph again, Pops?"
"Yeah, I'm not following either." Donnie chimed in, smacking Leo on the back of the head to keep him awake, causing the latter to give him a dirty look while he rubbed his head in pain. Mikey merely sat in the background yawning, curling up into a sitting position as he hugged his legs in his arms.
Splinter visibly drooped, frowning as he sighed, holding his palms in front of his midsection, parallel to each other. "I, your sensei, Master Splinter, am going to test each of you individually to determine which of you is worthy of taking April to her prom."
There was a beat, followed by a moment of silence before the entire lair was filled with the outburst of laughter erupting solely from the turtles, each hunching over the closest, tears rolling down the face of Raphael while Leo laughed so hard, he struggled to breath. Mikey wasn't entirely sure he wasn't still dreaming, so he stopped laughing for a split second to make sure, then continued, whereas Donnie snickered before abruptly ceasing, brows lacing in concern at Splinter's very serious expression as the boys calmed themselves.
"You aren't kidding." Donnie deadpanned, suddenly aware that the room felt much smaller as a chill ran up his spine. Leo, likewise, raised a brow, suddenly aware this wasn't meant to be funny.
"Very perceptive, Purple." Splinter crossed his arms, annoyed, glancing between each turtle. "I am very much serious."
"But Pops! Proms are for humans!" Mikey whined, raising his arms in desperation.
Splinter tsked. "That never prevented you from sneaking out and attending her school events before." He raised a knowing brow. "What is so different about this one?"
The boys all glanced at one another, embarrassed, lost for words for a change as the rat surveyed each. Splinter was sharper than, well, a splinter, at times, and he knew when his sons were lying, sneaking out, and attending completely arbitrary school events with April.
"Pops, we wanna bring honor to the family, but how are we supposed to do that by taking April to her prom?" Raphael held out his palms, shrugging.
"Proms, of which, are intended for couples, I might add." Donnie was quick to point out with an unamused frown. Leo nodded in agreement.
"My sons, do you not consider- BLUE! FOCUS!"
Leo jerked his head forward, snoring disrupted as he grinned embarrassedly, earning him dirty looks from his brothers. Splinter inhaled through his nose.
"Do you not consider April to be a part of our family?"
The boys were silent for a moment before Raphael confirmed what they were all thinking. "Of course we do, Pops."
"Then would you not go out of you way to make sure that, number one, she is safe, but number two, that she is happy?"
Splinter knew the boys agreed before they'd even begun to nod, the realization that this was for April's benefit outweighing the insanity of the entire idea. He knew that, in each of their hearts, they had adopted April as their sister, and if dressing up and going to a prom meant that she would be happy and wouldn't feel insecure, they'd gladly endure the process to get to that point.
As they each verbally expressed that this was their desire, Splinter nodded in contentment, folding his hands behind his back as he stood in front of them.
"Very good, my sons. Now, let us begin our first lesson…"