Scene 1:
(Kashue and his faithful servant Shadam are galloping on foot towards a large castle in Zaxon. Shadam is banging two halves of a coconut together. If you can picture Kashue doing this, I know you're laughing.)

Kashue: (coming to an abrupt stop) Whoa, there!

(clop clop, before Shadam remembers to stop clacking the coconuts.)

Zact: Halt! Who goes there?

Kashue: It is I, Kashue -

Zact: Gesundheit.

Kashue: - from the kingdom of Flaim, King of the Mercenaries, uniter of the provinces, and general hero!

Zact: Pull the other one!

Kashue: I am!

Zact: (checks his leg to see if it is being pulled) You are not.

Kashue: I am King Kashue.

Zact: Gesundheit.

Kasue: And this my trusty servant Shadam. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights who will join me in my court at Flaim. I must speak with your lord and master.

Zact: What, ridden on a horse?

Kashue: (somewhat embarassed) Yes!

Zact: You're using coconuts!

Kashue: What?

Zact: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.

Kashue: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Allania, through--

Zact: Where'd you get the coconut?

Kashue: We found them.

Zact: Found them? In Allania? The coconut's tropical!

Kashue: What do you mean?

Zact: Well, this is a temperate zone.

Kashue: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.

Zact: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

Kashue: Not at all, they could be carried.

Zact: What -- a swallow carrying a coconut?

Kashue: (desperately) It could grip it by the husk!

Zact: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound coconut.

Kashue: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Kashue -

Zact: Gesundheit.

Kashue: - from the Court of Flaim is here?

Zact: Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings 42 times every second, right?

Kashue: Please!

Zact: Am I right?

Kashue: I'm not interested!

(Another guard appears.)

Filmor: It could be carried by an Marmo swallow!

Zact: Oh, yeah, an Marmo swallow maybe, but not a Lodossian swallow, that's my point.

Filmore: Oh, yeah, I agree with that . . . .

Kashue: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Flaim?!

Zact: But then of course Marmo swallows are not migratory.

Filmor: Oh, yeah . . . .

Zact: So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway . . . .

(clop clop Kashue appears to have given up.)

Filmore: Wait a minute -- supposing two swallows carried it together?

Zact: No, they'd have to have it on a line.

Filmor: Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper!

Zact: What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?

Filmore: Well, why not?