Author's Note: Rating is PG-13 for sexual situations and humor and mild language (more so in this chapter, considering the circumstances).
Review responses are at the end of Day Four (ch. 5)—and speaking of, credit for the idea of Yami Bakura sending the snow to the Shadow Realm goes to Icy Flame, a reviewer who could probably write the story for me. *lol* Icy, your ideas are a trip. Thanks for all your comments. Credit also needs to go to Spruceton Spook, without whose help this chapter would have never been possible (and that's not an exaggeration). Spook, you're awesome with your movie knowledge. *g* Which leads me to say...there is a movie allusion/parody in here, and everyone who's seen it will probably recognize it right offhand, but I'll leave it uncredited until the next chapter in case anyone wants to guess. And finally—Kaiba's line that begins "You're so stupid..." comes from the fansubs, and by implication, the original series.
Disclaimer: I could have been a dub writer, but they said my humor was too 'adult'. Really. Okay, just pretend with me. Anyway, Yu-Gi-Oh! belongs to Kazuki Takahashi.
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One Week - Day Five
Seto didn't come home last night.
'Course this isn't home, this is the hotel. Maybe that's the problem, maybe he did go home. Hopped the midnight train all the way back to Domino. Can't say I blame him, after I so brutally rebuffed his advances yesterday.
What am I sayin'? He didn't make a move on me. It's my fault I got turned on. He didn't mean it, at least I don't think he did. I don't know if he even noticed, though you'd think it'd be kinda obvious. That was not puppy's wet nose poking his tummy last night. Nope, that was me standin' at attention and lyin' flat on my back all at the same time. Apparently I'm multi-talented that way.
Anyway, he's not back by the time I leave for breakfast this morning. Nothing I can do about it now, so I push it to the back of my mind and then grab one of the lodge brochures before going out the door. Maybe Yami and me will try one of the other ski slopes today. I stare at the pamphlet before putting it in my pocket. I'd just like to point out that I can read it, thank you very much. Of course, I don't think the lodge intended to write those captions as anagrams, either. I sigh. And then I grab my key and walk out the door.
When I turn the hall corner I run straight into Yugi. Or rather he runs straight into me, as in, literally running. He looks slightly frantic and I realize that it's regular Yugi today. That's odd—I've gotten used to him napping in the morning, what with Yami keepin' him up all night. No, that's not quite what I meant. It's just that lately Yugi hasn't been sleepin' much after going to bed thanks to Yami. Hold it, I didn't mean that either. It's just that when the lights go out Yami's got Yugi's body all to himself. Ya know, it's impossible to talk about this.
"Joey!" Yugi skids into me and I catch him before he knocks us both over. He gives me a grateful smile as he untangles himself from my arms, and I notice his face is all flushed. "I'm glad you're here. I need your help."
Yugi looks extremely awkward. Weird. I've gotten so used to Yami's preternatural confidence that it catches me off-guard. "What's up?"
He's dancing around like he has a live snake in his pants—though if that were the case, don't know why he'd need my help gettin' rid of it—ugh, I don't need any more reminders.
"I have a problem," he says.
What a coincidence, me too. Doubt his is the same as mine. More than likely it's—"No one's pickin' on ya, are they?" I give him a look so that he knows if the answer is 'yes' the perpetrator will be getting a one-way trip off the highest ski lift. Unless the perpetrator is Yami Bakura, and then—I'll tell Yami. Yeah, that's it.
"No!" Yugi assures me. And then pauses. "Actually, it's just me...that is, my other self..."
And then he stops, at loss for words, and I wonder if I should prompt an 'I'. Yugi's all nervous and embarrassed and staring at the ceiling instead of me. I'm reminded of what I must have looked like last night after me and Kaiba's extra special bonding activity.
—Waitasecond—if me and Kaiba were acting like that because—and now Yugi's all embarrassed because—ya don't think—? Nah—Yugi and Bakura? But then again—
I clear my throat, wishing I could get rid of the disturbing mental images as easily. "Um, Yugi, where's Bakura?"
And now Yugi's face is all red. No way. "That's sorta what I had to talk to you about," he stammers. "The thing is..." He trails off again.
Okay, gotta calm down. Of all people, I should know better than to overreact to what he's fixin' to tell me. I smile and hope it looks encouraging instead of like I fainted in place. It could be worse, right? Bakura's a nice guy, and who knows? Maybe their relationship will be the thing that finally makes their Yamis get along with each other. Like Romeo and Juliet, 'cept hopefully Yug and Bakura won't have to die at the end. Anyway, it's not like he's gonna tell me that he's gettin' it on with Kaiba.
No, that would be me. Trying to ignore that thought, I say, "Listen, Yug. Ya don't need to worry about tellin' me anything. I'm not gonna judge you for it, okay? I'm just here to help."
He looks surprised and then relieved. "Thanks, Joey, I appreciate that," he says sincerely. "Because...I...Bakura..."
I steel myself for his next words. Remember, Joey, love is love. Ya can't help who ya fall in love with. When Cupid's arrow strikes, no use fighting it—unless, of course, it lands on Kaiba, and then ya impale Cupid on his own damn arrows and run like hell...
But Yugi's taking a deep breath. His next words come out in a rush.
"I think Yami sent Bakura to the Shadow Realm last night."
"Now, that's nothing to be ashamed of..." He did what? I recover. Well, that's more like it. "Oh, is that all?" Yugi looks perfectly astonished, and I hasten to correct myself. "I mean...nevermind what I mean. Why would ya think that?"
"Because I never saw him last night or this morning. He's never been gone this long before." Yugi bites his lip in worry. Me, I'm thinkin' maybe Kaiba and Yami Bakura met up with each other last night. Took their anger or sexual frustration or psychotic egomania (and that's just Kaiba) out in a duel. But if that were the case, then they were probably playin' a shadow game, and it's me who should be worried for Kaiba. If, ya know, I actually cared about his well-being. Which I don't. I just wanna make sure he's okay, that's all.
Yeah, yeah, shut up. "Don't Yami and Bakura usually duel?" I ask. "Maybe Yami's seen him."
"That's the thing." Yugi hesitates, tilting his head as if listening, and then continuing after a moment. "I asked him about that, and...well, he's not speaking to me right now."
"What?" Ya know it's bad when not even the voices in your head will talk to ya.
"I mean, he talked to me this morning," Yugi explains, "But when I asked him about the duel he just got mad and said he was tired and would I mind skiing today? And he never answered my question."
That's weird. Almost sounds like Yami's sulking, which would mean he—lost. But then again, Yugi said he talked to him, and he wouldn't be here if he hadn't won, would he? I mean, that's the whole reason Yugi's worried about Bakura.
Except—that doesn't make a lot of sense. They've been duelin' all week. I let it pass for the moment and ask Yugi, "Well, what did ya want me to do about it?"
"Would you help me look for Bakura?" Translation: Would you help me look for a guy who's part-student, part-cannibal, Joey? I'm looking to eat food, not be food.
"After breakfast?" My stumble grumbles in agreement.
"But Joey..." he pleads.
"Look, Yugi." I try to reason with him. "Do ya really think Yami would send Bakura to the Shadow Realm? Not his Yami, but Bakura. Would Yami do that?"
Yugi hesitates but doesn't answer, looking faintly guilty instead. Aha. It only takes of few more seconds of my innocently puzzled face that he caves in.
"No, I don't think so," he admits, "It's just that—Joey, he's not talking to me, and Bakura's missing, and I'm worried! It's not that I think Yami would do that, but...I didn't think you'd help otherwise." He has the grace to look ashamed for assuming I wouldn't be concerned.
'Course—I'm not. I pat him on the shoulder. "Don't worry about it! Bakura probably just had something important to do last night, like, I dunno, move a body or somethin'."
Yugi looks alarmed at the prospect. Come to think of it, that's not so improbable when one of the personalities we're dealing with is Yami Bakura's, but in the end Yugi just sighs. And then he turns to me and—geez. He acts like I've stopped him from visiting Santa, which is just a bit confused. Bakura and Santa may have the same color hair, but that's about the only thing they have in common. Santa lives at the North Pole, Bakura is bipolar. Big difference.
But Yugi's still lookin' at me, and I swear, it's like he can make himself look younger on command. His face is softer and fuller, his eyelashes frame large pupils—even his hair's drooping. How does he do that? But really, there's only one response I can give him.
I roll my eyes. "Alright, alright, I'll help ya. But I'm picking up some toast on the way out."
His mood change is instantaneous. "Thanks, Joey!" And now he's looking at me like I'm Santa. What can I say. I went from pushing him around to being a pushover. Can't complain too much, though. I kinda like being an object of adoration.
We pick up two stacks of toast and Téa inside the dining hall, as she insists on following us when Yugi drags me outside, though can't say I blame her. It's either us or Tristan and Duke, and while my antagonism toward the diced one may have faded slightly, it still gets annoying listening to the two of them talk. They're like the cutesy school couple, except instead of sentences, they finish each other's dirty jokes.
We pass by their table to say hello and goodbye, me scanning the room at the same time in an attempt to spot a familiar brown-haired mop. But I don't find him—apparently he and his laptop have eloped. I'm sure they'll be very happy together. I sigh to myself, and then am reminded of our present dilemma by the fact that Yugi's practically adhered himself to my arm and is dragging me out the door.
Once we're outside, Téa and I turn to Yugi to tell us what to do. "The other day I saw Bakura walk off that way," he says, pointing off the path. It's all trees over there. "Maybe we should try there first."
"Okay. Oh, good, Joey brought a map," Téa says to me and pulls the hotel brochure out of my pocket. Meanwhile I stare suspiciously in the direction we're supposed to go in. Woods, three kids and a map—dude, I've seen this movie.
"Uh-uh." I shake my head. "Bad idea. That's all I need, to get lost in the woods with a guy with shadow powers on the loose."
Téa punches me, and I scowl as I rub my arm. The girl could give me or Tristan a run for our money when she gets in one of those moods of hers. I betcha it's that time of the month, but I find it prudent not to ask. Otherwise she'll be hitting me a lot harder, and more painfully, lower.
"Don't be such a baby," she scolds. "Here, you carry the map."
Right, so I can be the one they blame when we lose it. I shove it back to her. "I don't think so."
She rolls her eyes and huffs at me. "Fine! Yugi, since it looks like you're the only man here, you lead the way."
It looks like Yugi grows a foot, but Yami hasn't taken over, Yugi's just thrilled Téa called him a man. "Sure thing!" he says and takes off. I have to jog to keep up with him, and I have longer legs.
We're only like fifty feet into the woods and it already seems darker and colder. Makes me think this place is haunted. That can't be good for business. I shiver and nudge closer to Téa. "It's cold in here," I say pointedly.
"So?" she asks.
"Doesn't the temperature in an area drop when there's a ghost around?"
She loses it. "Joey, we're at a ski resort! Would you quit your yammering and just shut—"
"Look!" Yugi interrupts us. "Footprints!"
And so they are. Apparently Yugi's perpetual good luck lead us right to the path we're lookin' for. That, or it's hunting season. So now we're tracking a guy who's either looking to seal our souls in the darkness or who shoots first and asks questions later. Somehow I'm not thrilled with either option.
My foreboding grows the more we follow the footprints. They meander for what feels like miles before leading into a clearing that's been unnaturally cleared of snow. It's a perfect circle with sheered sides of snow, and there are neat little rock piles around the circumference. Yugi extends a cautious toe inside, and when he doesn't automatically get zapped by a bolt of lightning, we figure it's safe to step inside. I'm walking around, inspecting things, when I manage to walk straight into Téa's back. But it's not my fault—she just went and stopped right in front of me. "What are ya doin'?" I ask her.
She doesn't exactly answer me. "Um, guys...what's that?" Great, just great. Miss Smarty-Pants doesn't sound so brave anymore. She points warily at the trees farthest from us, and is that static cling, or is her hair stickin' out in shock? We approach, and then freak out. Someone's gone and hung a bunch of stick figures from the lowest branches. Time to get out of here.
"Is it some sort of ritual?" Yugi asks nervously, and he reaches out and pulls one of the stick men down from the branches.
"Don't touch it, it may be cursed!" My warning comes too late. He's already picked one up and as he's holding it we all realize at the same time that the creator has cleverly used a buncha pine needles to give the stick man a hairdo. A hairdo with three very prominent spikes.
Téa says what we're all thinkin'. "Yugi, that voodoo doll has your hair!"
And then it's not Yugi anymore, it's Yami staring at the figure with a grave expression on his face. I return Téa's earlier favor and punch her in the arm. "Now look what ya did, ya made Yami come out," I scold her. "You know he only comes out when we're duelin' or about to die, and since I don't see any duel monsters..."
"Shut up," she snaps at me. "Besides, he's been here all week."
"I'm here now," Yami says, which is probably his way of telling us to stop talkin' about him like he isn't. I sorta have to wonder why he's here, anyway. It's not that I don't dig the protective vibe, as Yami's the only one more possessive of Yugi than me an' Tristan—no pun intended—but how's it better for Yami to get Yugi's body shot than Yugi?
He's not lookin' at us, just glancing around the woods thoughtfully and absentmindedly cradling the stick man to his chest like a doll. "The footprints lead out that side of the clearing. I suggest we keep going."
Does he have a death wish? 'Course, he don't have to worry about losing his life 'cause he's already dead. Ya know what I think? I think he's just getting tired of bein' the only friendly spirit around here and this is all a conspiracy to get some company. Those so-called duels with Yami Bakura? They weren't duelin', they were schemin', and here we are walking right into their trap. Forget what I said earlier about those two needing to get along with each other better. More like they need a chaperone.
"I suggest we not and say we did," I say. "C'mon, wherever Bakura went, he's probably already back at the lodge by now. We just have to figure our way back. Téa, where are we anyway?"
"Uh..." Téa's staring at her empty hands in surprise. Oh, no. I am not believin' this.
"You lost the map! You told me I was bein' stupid and Miss Brainchild lost the map!"
"We can find our way out by following our footprints," Yami says mildly. Ya know, he has a point. These things do work in reverse. "But let's see where these others lead first."
Yami may be content to follow the anonymous footprints, but I'd still feel better with a back-up plan. I have a couple pieces of toast left and I take them out of my pocket, dropping bread crumbs as we go. Hey, it worked in the fairy tale—oh yeah, it didn't. Come to think of it, it led them to a witch's house. Not our intended aim. I stop dropping bread crumbs.
So we traipse through the woods some more, Yami tracking the footprints like a hound dog. They weave through the trees haphazardly and sometimes go in circles as if the person makin' them knew he might be followed and wanted to throw us off. And then they go in more circles. And then they go in more circles—we come back to the clearing.
We look around. "Now what?" I ask.
"Another trail of footprints!" Yami says, pointing.
Téa and I just look at each other. And sigh. And then we go in circles. And then we go in more circles...
And finally, as if to reward us for comin' so far, we find a path that's been completely cleared of snow for us. We follow it all the way up to a small wooden house in the woods. But even Téa's voicing second thoughts now. "You know, we really shouldn't trespass," she says.
"It doesn't look like it has any occupants," Yami says curiously.
I nudge Téa in the arm. "Ya gotta remember, Yami's not up on modern day cinematography," I tell her, and then speak directly to Yami. "Yami, my man, first rule of horror films. Ya never enter an abandoned house in the middle of the woods. Not in the morning, not in the evening, not in the afternoon. It'll always be housing a ghost, or if you're lucky, just an axe murderer."
Téa punches me again. "That's not funny, Joey." She's shiverin', but I don't think it's just from the cold. I'd feel sorry for her if my arm weren't so sore. Instead I rub my shoulder crossly—I'm gonna be lucky if it ain't one big bruise by the time this is over.
Yami's got his I-have-more-shadow-powers-than-you look on his face. "Fine, if you two are so worried, I'll go in first," he says, and without further ado walks up to the door and pushes it open. Téa and I both freak. Axe murderer or no, Yami's our friend, and we can't let him do this alone. We run to catch up.
"Ladies first," I try to tell Téa on the threshold, but when I have to sidestep another punch I hesitantly enter the room myself. It's only late morning, but the windows are facing west so we're not gettin' much sunlight on this end of the room. The air is musty , the floor is creaking, and the walls are filthy and covered with—
"Yami, I don't care what time period you're from, a bloody handprint is never a good sign!" I give him a frantic look. His forehead is creased as he stares first at the handprint, and then at the footprints clearly outlined in the dust on the floor. He cautiously follows them over to the entrance of the hall. Téa and I tiptoe behind him, both of us trying to shrink and use him for protection. To his credit, he's not making any irrational and impulsive decisions yet...
The basement door creaks open on its own. Oh, no. Oh, no...
Oh, yes. And there he goes. Through the door, down the steps. I suppose a guy who's been facing droolin' and decayin' shadow monsters for the past four nights doesn't give a second thought to the possible disembowelment waiting below, but I kinda like my intestines just where they are. And Téa's behind me and gripping my shoulder like she's tryin' to dislocate it. I grit my teeth against the pain and then follow Yami, moving slower than normal due to the need to drag her after me.
There's not a lot of light down here— I can just make out Yami's form at the bottom of the steps. I reach out to grab him by the jacket. "Hey, Yami, can we go back now..." The figure turns.
It ain't Yami.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
I scream bloody murder and suddenly start praying to every higher power known to man. I'm not picky, I'd take a miracle from any of them. Oh gods, if I get out of here alive I'll floss my teeth every day, I'll do my homework, I'll—I'll start bein' nice to Kaiba without provocation. I'm that scared.
The thing's screaming back at me. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
What, that ain't enough? Do I have to offer a human sacrifice or something? Okay, take Téa! I don't wanna die—
I pause in my panicked supplication. The thing's scream sounds really funny now, more like an "Ahaaaaahaaaaahaaaaahaaaaa..." It's taking deep gulping breaths and its terror has turned into laughter. And then it starts speakin' in a normal voice. With a British accent.
"Oh my. You guys really scared me."
A light clicks on. Yami's found the light switch, and we're face to face with Bakura. Normal Bakura. I hit my forehead. I knew my promise to be nice to Kaiba was too rash, even disregarding the events of this week. I wonder if the gods will hold me to it.
"Bakura? What are you doing here?" Téa asks. "We've been looking all over for you. Yugi was worried!"
"Sorry about that," he says sheepishly.
"It's all right." Yugi smiles at him—with the danger out of the way, Yami don't have to act like a mother hen any more and he's gone back in the puzzle. "But what are you doing here?"
"And why'd ya have to do it in the dark?" My glare is not as benevolent as Yugi's. Thanks to him I've been tricked into being nice to Kaiba, and after last night, that's a heck of a lot more complicated than it was before.
"I heard voices—I didn't recognize you all—and I turned the light off so people wouldn't think I was trespassing," he explains. "And as for why I'm here. It's just that..." he shrugs and gestures to the far left corner. "They have no one else to look after them."
We all follow his movement. The basement's pretty shabby and dirty, with broken boxes and stuff lyin' around. But then I notice a box over in the corner that's still got all its sides, and even though it's got cracks, they've been stuffed with some fairly new rags. We walk closer to look inside and—I'm not believin' this. I'm really not believin' this. I knew the guy was a bit of a pansy, but—
"Bunnies?" I ask in disbelief. "We risked our necks tryin' to find you for bunnies?"
Téa and Yugi are peering over the side and leaning down to pet them. Bakura shrugs again, holding his hands out to his side in an I-can't-help-it manner. "They're orphans. I don't know what happened to their mother..."
He should ask his Yami, and best not go lookin' in any nearby cooking pots, either. But Bakura doesn't like being reminded of his other self's violent tendencies, and so I just shake my head. And Yugi's apparently unconcerned about the origin of the bunnies as he's reaching down into the box right now.
"Look, Joey!" he says brightly. "Aren't they cute?" Oh, no. Yugi, put the bunny down. Put the bunny down, Yugi. Yugi! Put the bunny down—
Oh geez, it's instant diabetes. I hit my forehead again as he gives me a curious look, holding a white ball of fluff right next to his face. I now know the only thing more effective on me than Soft and Wobbly Eyes. And that's Soft and Wobbly Eyes holding Soft and Fluffy Thing.
I turn back to Bakura. "How did you even find this place?" I ask.
He hedges a bit. "Well, I didn't really find it..."
"Then who did?" I ask, and Téa gives me a loud ahem. She nods her head toward Bakura's chest, which is kinda weird until I see the outline of the ring under his shirt—oh. So that's what all the occultic stuff we came across was. But Bakura looks uncomfortable, so I try to lighten the mood. "What happened to all the snow? Your Yami send it to the Shadow Realm or somethin'?"
He looks at me in surprise. "How'd you know?"
Forget I asked.
Yugi's better at creating a diversion than I am. "Bakura, what are you going to do with the bunnies at the end of the week? We're leaving in just a couple days." He's still holding one, and aw, how cute. Their little noses are twitching in unison. I'm calling him 'bunny' from now on.
The question doesn't do much to comfort Bakura. "I really don't know," he says. "I thought about trying to smuggle them on the bus. But they're so young, the trip may be hard for them, and I don't want to get in trouble..."
"You could tell a teacher," Téa suggests. Figures she'd say that. Téa's guide to life: When in doubt, ask a teacher.
"Yeah, the Biology II class is just about to start dissections," I offer, and get rewarded for that statement by a shocked expression from both Yugi and Bakura. They chime in together.
"Joey!"
"I mean, uh," I amend hastily, "Why don't ya—talk to Ms. Freak? Get her to let ya take them home as an experiment of sorts. 'But Ms. Freak, it'll teach us compassion and sensitivity, two things not normally said in the same sentence with adolescent boys. It's good counterprogramming to society's stereotype of teenagers,'" I mimic. Dude, why am I a student? I could be the guidance counselor. Get paid more too.
Everyone looks surprised. "I didn't think of her..." Téa says thoughtfully. "That just might work."
I clap my hands. "So what are we waiting for? Let's go find her right now." It occurs to me that I am volunteering to talk to Ms. Freak. As in, without the threat of detention looming over me. Man, those bunnies really know how to affect a guy.
"You can go, I'll stay here," Bakura offers. "They're about ready for their next bottle." And he promptly pulls a baby bottle out of his shirt. When I give him a look he explains, "The body heat keeps it warm."
Riiiiiight. And I suppose he keeps the Millennium Ring under his shirt because his Yami likes the body heat, too. Oh, man, I did not need those implications. I grimace and then motion to Téa and Yugi. "Well, let's head back. It'll take us awhile to get out of the woods," I remind them.
"Oh, you're not that far away from the lodge," Bakura says. "Just go out the back door and walk straight. You'll be back in five minutes."
We all stare at him. "Then why all the crazy loop-de-loops on the way in?" I ask. He just points to his chest. Right. Ignoring that. "Okay, well, hang tight. We'll be back before you know it."
And we all trek upstairs, ignore the bloody handprint on the wall, and walk out the back door. And Bakura's right. Within no time we're back on the main path at the ski resort. We decide to try to look in the lodge first, but when we get there, someone's opening the door to come out just as we get there to go in. Take a wild guess who. I'll give ya a hint—it is a freak, but not a Ms.
"Oh, it's you." I groan, making Kaiba glare at me. Like I haven't already gone through enough today, and it's not even noon. It's bad enough having to face him again after—um, everything that happened, but in front of an audience? Surely as awkward as it is, he has the sense not to bring it up in public. Surely he'll wait until we can talk in private, since the subject's a private of another sort. Unless, of course, he wants to mortally embarrass me, in which case...
I'm doomed.
But he's not even lookin' at me anymore. "Yugi," he says. His voice is stiff. "Are you ready for our competition?"
"But that isn't until tomorrow..." Téa starts to say.
"Is your name Yugi?" Kaiba cuts her off. Yugi glares at him for that. Now he's gone and done it. Yugi's gotta protect her honor.
"No, her name is Téa, and say it with respect," he growls. Ah. There's Yami again, but I bet Yugi told him to say that.
Kaiba doesn't answer right away. Now he looks at me again, his eyes narrowed. I hear a soft hm under his breath—anger, with a hint of malice. I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks. Not only is this awkward, it's weird to see him take my slight so personally. He's still lookin' at me when he starts to speak.
"I only respect those better than me."
Out of the corner of my eye I see a pissed off Yami trying to advance on Kaiba and Téa restraining him. It's just as well—harsh words are much less intimidating when they aren't face to face but face to belt. And anyway, it ain't Téa that Kaiba's insulting, that much is clear by the staring match he and I having. I try to speak but Kaiba beats me to it, breaking his gaze with me and returning it to Yami.
"You haven't answered my question," he says. "Are you ready?"
"I'm always ready." Yami's growling again, still annoyed that he was foiled in his attempt to tell off Kaiba's belt buckle. "Are you?"
"I challenge you to a race on the beginner's slope. Now."
I can tell by the way Téa and Yami and I all look at each other in the same instant that we've all three remembered we're supposed to be helpin' Bakura. But if Yami backs down he'll never hear the end of it from Kaiba. I know how Yami will answer and he's opening his mouth to say "friends come first" when Téa jumps in.
"It's okay, I'll go find Ms. Freak," she volunteers. "Joey, you cheer Yugi on."
"Hm." Feigned indifference masking resentment. Kaiba gives me a sideways glance before returning his gaze to Yami. "The mutt may need cue cards for that. If he could even read them."
Okay, now that was below the belt. Again. But—weird thing is, I'm not as mad as I expected to be. More like he's just had his feelings hurt, which means he's actually acting human for once. I check the sky to make sure it ain't fallin'. When it's still in one piece, I just don't dignify the remark with an answer. We all grab our ski equipment from inside the door—I'm not gonna let them hold a race by themselves, whether they know it or not—and say good-bye to Téa. We're silent as we walk over to stand in line. I have to stand between Yami and Kaiba. Not sure how they figure I'm qualified to be the peacekeeper, but there ya go.
I sneak a glance at Kaiba. He's wearing sunglasses and sun block but I can see by the set line of his jaw how angry he still is. And I have to admit, I feel a twinge of guilt at my behavior. As freaked out as I was last night, he didn't make fun of me then. That didn't happen until I screwed up and hurt his pride. Not that it wouldn't hurt him to be taken down a notch or two, but still. He could've made me feel bad but didn't.
Come to think of it—was he actually trying to apologize to me? Doubt I'll ever hear the words I'm sorry coming from his lips, the aftertaste might kill him, but I wonder what he would have said if I hadn't driven him away. After all, he did start to tell me that he didn't mean—I stop and think about his words. What? What didn't he mean? To turn me on? Or to scare me when he did?
I jump when he pulls a stopwatch out of his pocket and tosses it at me, reminding me that we're standin' on the ski slope, not inside the hotel room. "Make yourself useful, mutt." His rude tone tells me that he's obviously not having the same benevolent introspection as I am. "Time us going down the hill. That is, if you can tell time. You don't even have to look at the face, just press the little buttons. They're color-coded, or are you colorblind too?"
"I can read the face just fine." My snipe is automatic, but I'm still curious at the way he's actin'. He just hms at me. I'm not sure what that one means. He's either still resentful—or constipated. I ponder this. I did take the bathroom all night....
We near the front of the line, and I examine the stupid stop watch. I won't need it if I'm gonna be racing with them. I wonder what Kaiba'd do if I 'accidentally' dropped it off the ski lift. I probably shouldn't, I bet it cost him a hundred dollars or something. Rich people always spend way too much money on everything from stop watches to toilet paper.
I look away, wondering what excuse I'm gonna give Kaiba for following him up the ski slope, and see people walkin' down the path toward some of the more advanced courses. I look at the stopwatch. I look at Kaiba. I look down the path again.
And I get an idea.
"So, you guys have fun!" I wave cheerfully at them as Kaiba and Yami board the ski lift together, crossing my fingers that both of them are still safely in their seats by the time they get to the top of the hill. Both of them look at me suspiciously for my sudden charity, and I realize that neither of them expected me to stay quietly, either. Am I that obvious? Ah well. "Good luck, Yug!"
Yami doesn't say anything, just looks back at me with a sorta helpless concern—I think he's on to me, but he's already on the lift and heading up the hill. He shouldn't worry. I'll be sure to tell him what's goin' on after lunch. If I survive.
I wait until they get to a blind spot on the lift and then I hightail it out of there. I feel guilty abandoning Yami in his race, but he'll do fine, and this is my only chance to prove myself to Kaiba. He said it himself, he only respects people who are better than him, and I don't care how much he pretends, do ya really think that's gonna happen on the beginner's slope?
Of course not. And that's why I follow the double diamond signs all the way to the Dead Man's Curve line. And—gulp. Even the ski lift is steeper here. But all I have to do is get to the bottom without breakin' my neck. And then maybe I'll show Kaiba—sometimes ya don't have to stoop to someone else's level to make them feel better when ya hurt their feelings. Sometimes ya have to rise to theirs.
All the people in line look so much taller and older than me. I get in line and do my best to look competent, but the guy ahead of me looks suspicious anyway. I guess I can't blame him—I'm feelin' just a tad anxious and trip as we're halfway to the front, nearly chokin' him when I grab hold of his neck to keep from falling. "Haven't I seen you on the bunny slope?" he asks, rubbing his neck.
I laugh nervously. "No, I don't do bunny trails, just rabbit chases." He doesn't get it but persists.
"I thought I saw you earlier this week getting chased by a grooming machine," he says.
Like I wouldn't fake that anyway. "Me? Of course not. Must of been some guy who looked like me. How's that for bad luck, now everyone's gonna think I'm a loser, too."
He nods, still rubbing his neck, but at least he turns back around. I surreptitiously wipe my brow in relief. That was close.
All too soon I'm at the ski lift. I think I hear someone call my name again, but I'm just jumpy—now that I'm actually doin' this I'm so nervous that when I get to the top and it's time to raise the safety bar, I get dizzy and feel like I'm gonna fall out without it. But I make it safely off the lift and ski around the short plateau at the top of the hill. I stare down the path in front of me and come to a startling conclusion, completely unrelated to the events of the previous evening. Seto Kaiba was right.
I am such an idiot.
It's like a straight slope of ice without guard rails. I see rocks. I see trees. I see me lyin' on the snow with my back broken. Ya know, I've taken this thing far enough. I wonder how embarrassing it would be to hitch a ride back down the ski lift. I'm turning around to ask the operator when I hear—
"Joey! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
Someone's shouting. I freeze. How fast is this guy? There's no way he can be up here already. Come to think of it, how'd he even know I was here at all?
Kaiba jumps off the ski lift and skis over to me. He was just shouting because he was on the ski lift. Now that he's off, he says almost conversationally, "Planning on breaking your neck, you idiot?"
Ya'd think nothing had even happened. I just look at him funny, trying to figure out his motives. But when all he does is smirk at me, leaning against his ski poles like he's posing for some underwear ad, I say, defiant, "So what if I am?"
He rolls his eyes and I startle when he grabs my arm with surprising force. He watches me as I test his grip, pulling my arm away slightly, and discover his hold is quite firm. He sighs. "You're so stupid it's almost admirable," he says. That's Kaiba for you—Yami may be king of games, but Kaiba's king of the backwards compliment. "But you are not experienced enough for this slope. Come on. Ski lift. Now."
I get the weird feelin' he knows what I'm doin' and this is his way of saying thanks. But in spite of what I just said, I can't leave like this, letting him lead me off the slope like a—like a dog. "Let go of me."
And it's like a replay of last night. "No."
"I said let go."
"I said no."
"I said let go—"
"I said no—"
"Damn it, Seto, I said let go!"
He looks surprised at something, enough that he releases me. We stare at each other for a second, and then, on impulse, I dig my ski poles in and take-off down the slope.
Holy shit, that was a stupid impulse. Tristan drives twenty miles over the speed limit and still goes slower on his motorbike. I kneel down in racing position for balance and try not to panic as I gain even more speed. I try to brake once and almost skid out of control instead. Amazingly enough, I somehow manage to right myself, and the bobble slows me down for a moment, but then I start going faster and faster again. In the pause between the rush of wind I hear Kaiba shouting in the background. He's given up all sense of propriety.
"Joey! Heel, mutt! I said heel!"
Ya know, if I survive, I am going to kill him.
Up ahead of me I see Dead Man's Curve. Oh, this is so not good. I'd prefer not to go crashin' there. I'd prefer not to crash at all, and granted, there are safety nets around the drop off and stuff, but I'd still rather not get tangled up in a net like a fish fifty feet above the ground.
I'm surprised I don't die of fright before the curve. But then I hit it and bend inward, convinced I'm going to tip over any second and go into a tailspin, or else not bend enough and ram straight into the nets—
—And I'm going so fast that suddenly I'm past it just like that. My jaw drops open. I did it. I did it! I survived Dead Man's Curve! An expert slope and I went around it just like that! I—
Uh-oh. Rock.
I panic, try to swerve, and overcorrect. I'm fallin', but it barely has time to register before I'm on the ground. My right knee takes the full brunt of the fall. I feel a pop and hear a crack and it twists underneath me.
—Oh shit shit shit it hurts and now I know why Mai said not to fall like that dear gods this is what I get for not bein' nice to Kaiba it's divine retribution I tell ya and fuck it hurts—
And now the sky's gettin' dark and it's not even lunchtime. Who turned out the sun?
"Joey!" Kaiba skis up and stops right next to me. Show-off. He curses. "Dammit, mutt! I told you not to do this!"
Just pour salt in the wound, Kaiba. I wanna respond but my tongue's too heavy. My head is poundin' and I'm so tired and it hurts, it hurts all over, it hurts worse than it's ever hurt before, even when I've gotten beat up it didn't hurt this bad—
"Joey! Stay awake!"
Too late, Seto. I can't keep my eyes open any longer and the world fades to black.
TBC...
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Review responses (for reviews posted between 1/28/04 – 4/22/04):
Killian: *lol* Thanks!
Spruceton Spook: Kad, why were your fingernails wet when you reviewed? Had you just painted them or something? I'd say glad you liked the Blair Witch Project references—but hello, you were the one who made them possible. LOL Thanks again, though at least I could make you happy with them. ^_~ Oh, and while we're on the topic of horror movies—I really wanted to figure out a way to work in a haunted hotel reference á là "The Shining," believe it or not. I couldn't figure it out though. Maybe in the revision? ^^
Shi-no-Nezumi: Yes, bunnies. :D I don't know if I'd call Joey a wuss for not being an expert skier after three days, but only on that point. He is a scaredy-cat the rest of the time—as he is on the show. Have you seen his reaction to Bakura's occult deck? LOL Thanks for the review!
BarbedWire23: You don't like the nets? I guess it would be creepy to get entangled in them fifty feet above the ground…then again, I'd prefer it to falling off the side of the cliff. ^O^; Glad you liked it in spite of the "Fear Factor" quality of the ski slope… :D
Hush Puppie: I love bunnies too. And kitties. And…the only problem with puppies is that they grow up to be dogs. Sometimes big dogs. *makes face* Though that in itself sounds like a line that belongs in an S/J somewhere… You do lay it on thick! *blushes* …Though that's not to say I don't like it. *g* Thanks!
Hella: You like reviewing in two places? I'm usually doing well if I can review in one. *lol* But don't get me wrong, as long as you feel up to it, I don't mind being the recipient. :D Glad you liked the 'heel' line; Sheron forced me to include it. Really, she held a gun to my head and made me at it in the revision. J/k, though as for the mental image of disgruntled!Kaiba jumping up and down and waving his ski poles as he yelled it…well, you never know. Joey does have a way of bringing Kaiba down to his level (and as he would say, oo, the innuendo! *g*)
Zansetsu: This fic got you hooked on Seto/Joey? Wow! That's a compliment, though I still find it hilarious when people tell me that, as I wasn't initially an S/J shipper myself. ^O^; Sorry for the long wait with the update, but thanks for the review!
riskygamble: I know, it was an evil cliffie… :( But since each chapter only covered one day and my protagonist was knocked out for the day, what could I do? Glad you like the story!
ShadowSpirit2: *lol* Sorry for the cliffhanger, though…well, see above response. I guess I could have had a lot of white space to signify Joey's unconscious state…nah. I'm not a modernist. ;) Thanks for reviewing!
Icy Flame: I love your reviews. Glad I could use your line, too! It's a great joke—and I don't feel funny saying that since it's yours. XD Never thought about Yami Bakura performing his rituals in order to keep Yami away from "his" bunnies. That must be it—he's just a softy at heart. That, or he had plans for the bunnies that we don't want to ask about. *g* And pleased to make your funny quote list! My best friend keeps one too and says she tends to quote me…unfortunately, in her case the things I say weren't usually intended to be funny… *rolls eyes*
ideseth: Not doubting your review; doubting my ability. '.' (Btw, it's nice to reply to you both for the obvious reasons and for the fact that I can use a larger array of emoticons…) Not naming the chapters because that'd be a pain in the butt. I was actually quite happy to pick the title "One Week" for the specific reason that meant I didn't have to name the individual chapters. ^^ Oh, and, no I don't have a thing against the number 113. I think it may even be a prime number… *tries to do the math in her head* Seems that way…
Chihaur-Chan: Glad you were liking the skiing part, though Joey did have to hit a rock—I couldn't fake it any longer. ^O^; I've been skiing before, but only once, so I had to keep to the beginner's stuff for most of the fic. Glad you liked the bunnies too—I have no idea where that part came from, but I'm quite fond of random moments of cuteness, even if anything involving bunnies tends to verge on sugar shock. Thanks for reviewing!
Sheron: I did use part of your idea for how Joey was rescued. Even if it came from Téa's mouth. i. ^^ Btw, if I hadn't reminded you what it was, would you have realized it? You did forget about the 'heel.' :p And thanks for saying I'm only "a few chapters away from being a great author." You nut. (Hey, if I capitalized that you'd be a sky goddess…)
(: MeGaN :) : I don't know what it was about your reviews, but it really tickled me when I got them! And they got me off my butt to write more, even though I didn't update at the time. So thanks for them; they helped me more than you realized. :)
Dragoness Kaei: Kaiba couldn't carry Joey back to the hotel because he wouldn't move someone who's injured. Shame though. :( But at least he did rescue Joey, and I won't say that he won't "help" Joey out while Joey's handicapped at a later point… ^_~
chibiusaxoxo: Thanks for the review! And the enthusiasm—although cheese graters weren't meant to be used on people's heads. You probably better not do that. ;)
blank: Sorry to leave you hanging! There was only so much an unconscious person could do for the rest of the day, though. ^^; Thanks for reviewing!
Tuulikki: I have to tell you, you are the first and perhaps only person to notice that Joey calls Kaiba "Seto" for the first time at the beginning of the chapter. I was hoping it would be subtle but I'm glad you caught it. And much thanks for the awesomeness. I can take "awesome." ^_^ *reminds self to review your fic soon, too*
Sundance300: Thanks! Glad I hear I can be sometimes unpredictable, too. ;)
number13: Yes, Seto's home is with Joey. Isn't it sweet? *g*
r*a*d*i*a*n*y: Wow. Thanks for the massive review. O.O Where to begin? Um, I guess for starters, thanks again. And we're mutual fans of D. Draggy, though I think you probably knew that somehow since we're LJ buddies. ^^ Let's see—I don't doubt that some things were exaggerated. My comedies tend to verge on parody, so that may be where it comes from. Or it could just be me. *shrugs* I really love Jounouchi's POV too—I guess you could say I'm a fangirl, but a late one. I thought he was funny on the show but it wasn't until I read a few good fics centering around him, and then wrote in his voice myself, that I started loving him so much. Interesting the way fanfiction can affect a character that way—though it's not fanon!Joey that I like. It was him being written in-character that made me like him, if that makes sense. Thanks again for the review and I'll be seeing you when you have internet access. ^_~
Faia Ookami: Yami and Yami Bakura both probably need to get out, I think. You have to wonder what they do whenever they're not in control. Most authors have fancy metatheories about the conscious mind, but I think it would be funny if it were something off the wall, like I don't know, cooking…anyway. Yup, Kaiba's starting to let his feelings slip. We'll see how well that goes within the next two chapters. ^^
Pachelbel: Ff.net can be such a pain, can't it? At least Xing's been trying to make it more reliable lately. I'll give him credit for the effort, though it remains to see if it worked. Anyway, 3 am reviews are funny, as long as the reviewer doesn't mind being up so late. ^_~ Actually…your brother is right, it was the Blair Witch project. *g* Mainly because I don't even watch films in the horror genre and needed something that would be both familiar with people and easily summarized for me. I have yet to see the movie myself. *lol* On the other hand, that may have helped my creative license… And an encyclopedia of Kaiba's "hm"s? Sounds like a plan. I wonder how I could manage a parody… XD
Ok: No, Joey's not dead—one of the lovely things about first-person POV is that the narrator has to stay alive for the fic to be finished. *thinks of "Being Dead Ain't Easy"* Most of the time. *lol* Thanks for the review!
Sarasusamiga: Don't worry, the bunnies will play a cameo at least once more. :) Thanks for the compliments!
ChibiSerenity3: Nope, I didn't abandon it, just got massive writer's block thanks to the fact that the next chapter was a mess of dialogue. I like humor stories too—glad you liked mine. ^^
ColeyCarissa: Literal cliffie, isn't it? *g* Thanks so much for the review! And hey, I clicked on your bio and saw that you have a ski trip story too. Great minds must think alike. ^_~ But they're fun, aren't they?
Otaku-Catrina: Chapter five was hard to write, so it's good to know people still liked it. And thanks for the fave, that's the best compliment you can give me. ;)
Vampyric Saiyaness: You're making me blush, though thanks. *blushes* Um, 3 you back? :)
Cassandra Cassidy: It took me a while to connect your two pen names, though the SAT comment in your other review tipped me off. ;) As for the occult circle…well…I gotta say, some things just may have to remain a mystery. But that's not to say it won't be mentioned again. ^^ Thanks for the fave!
snarechan: I'll let you in on a little secret—I am Joey. *shifty eyes* Shh, don't tell, I have to hide from all the fangirls. :D Seriously, thanks for the review and I'm tickled that you read the whole story at once. *g*
Sakata Ri Houjun: My goodness, what a long review! Thanks! And I know, I prefer Joey and Kaiba's relationship to be gradual. They've got so much bad blood between them I'd probably take some time for them to learn to like the other. Though I do think first season Kaiba is a little easier to play around with. At least he's got a reason to be an ass there. *g* My one and only time skiing was on a church trip myself, way back in middle school. I stuck to the bunny slope all day, though many of Joey's adventures came from that—the whole skiing-over-the-mogul-on-my-butt thing, the getting-chased-by-grooming-machine thing, and…something else that I'm forgetting at the moment. Oh yeah, the stopping-the-ski-lift thing, too. And my sister's had her own adventures, but with snowboarding (she fell into some soft snow and every time she tried to climb out she'd get buried further). At least trips leave us with fun stories to tell. :)
Nouchi: Yeah, Joey brings some of his problems on his self with his smart-alecky comments, doesn't he. ^O^ Though all the snide remarks flying around can make a Seto/Joey really fun—that's the main reason I started reading them myself. Thanks for the fave! ^^
themainschu: Sorry for stopping, but Joey sorta had to get to the hospital then. ^^;;; Thanks for the review though, it was really sweet!
Catzgurl713: I'm glad the story makes you laugh. Thanks! ^^