***
Kathryn half reclined on the couch in her ready room, her back pressed against the warmth of Seven of Nine. Neither were feeling the best; Seven's body was starting to give in to the virus, and the medication the Doctor had given the Captain was beginning to wear off. They had retired to the Captain's ready room and now shared the large couch with Seven sitting slightly behind the Captain, their legs extending along the length of the cushions.
Resting her head back against Seven's shoulder she wondered at the comfortable companionship between them. The affection she had always felt for the remarkable young woman had increased tenfold in the past day and she keenly regretted having lost the opportunity to tell her how much she cared.
In the past she had always maintained her distance. The protocols and rules of conduct she had been exposed to all her life telling her that it was wrong for a Starfleet Captain to pursue a romantic relationship within her crew. She admitted that Starfleet didn't exactly have her situation in mind when they made up that particular rule, but her training was too well ingrained for her to go against it.
It all seemed so unimportant now. The times she had taken a step backwards when she thought she might have been starting to feel a little too much. The practised speeches quoting propriety and responsibility that she repeated to herself every now and again. When weighed against what she might have had, the love they could have shared... She made it a habit never to second-guess herself, it was something a Captain could not afford to do, but right now, with her future so uncertain, a thousand what-ifs plagued her.
Kathryn wondered if it were possible that Seven returned her feelings. Sometimes she thought that maybe she did, but that thought had always frightened her. Did Seven truly understand what it was to love someone? Maybe she did, but either way, Seven needed someone who was able to give her the time and attention she deserved- not a Starfleet Captain who first priority was, and always would be, her ship.
"Are you alright, Captain?" Seven asked quietly, her breath tickling against Kathryn's ear.
"Yes, Seven, why do you ask?"
"You have not spoken in 22 minutes. I was beginning to worry."
"I'm still here," she said only half jokingly.
"I am aware of that, I can feel the rise and fall of your chest and hear the beat of your heart. I was concerned that you were upset."
The Doctor had informed them approximately 25 minutes ago that he had lost Yeoman Tse'al. As the minutes ticked by Kathryn wondered how many more of her crew she would fail, as she lay idly in her ready room powerless to help them. She was unable to stand now, her heart too weak to be able to fight against gravity to merely pump the blood through her veins.
"Do you ever have regrets, Seven?" Kathryn asked hesitantly, the question so unlike her normally confident self.
Seven didn't answer immediately and when she did, Kathryn could hear the emotion in her voice.
"Regrets are irrelevant."
Kathryn couldn't help but smile at the predictable answer.
"I regret that Yeoman Tse'al will never see his home again. I regret that Voyager never made it home to the Alpha quadrant."
"It is not the destination that is important, Captain, it is the journey," Seven responded.
The Captain merely snorted in reply. "I told you that."
"Yes, you did. If the Doctor is unsuccessful in his attempts to devise a cure, I will regret that our journey together was not longer." Seven stared at the wall as she spoke, unable to look at the woman she almost cradled in her arms.
Kathryn remained silent, afraid that if she tried to speak, she would lose the composure she was fighting so hard to maintain. She felt weak and dizzy and she realized the Doctor was running out of time. Seven must have somehow felt the change in her attitude, because she wrapped her arms around the Captain's shoulders, gently hugging her.
"If the Doctor is unsuccessful, will you arrange to have my body put in stasis, on the chance that Voyager does make it home without me," she requested at her most melancholy.
"I do not wish to live another day without you," Seven whispered.
A silent tear escaped Kathryn's eyes and trailed down her cheek. She knew, too well, how Seven felt. She had found it impossible to imagine a future without Seven and had risked her life and the lives of everyone on Voyager to prevent just that when the Borg Queen had taken this beautiful young woman from her.
"I believe I love you, Captain." Seven's voice was strained. Kathryn realized she was crying. Unable to hold back her own tears Kathryn turned and, wrapping her arms around her thin form, buried her face against her throat.
"Oh, Seven. I love you, too. More than anything." She kissed the soft skin of Seven's neck. "I should have told you that a long time ago."
"Why didn't you?"
"I was afraid. I foolishly told myself that it was wrong for me to have feelings for you."
"And now...?" Seven asked, tightening her hold.
Kathryn lifted her head from the safety of Seven's embrace wanting to see her face as she spoke. "Now, I'm still afraid, but I'd be an even bigger fool if I denied the truth."
Seven's eyes shone with unshed tears. Kathryn wished she could kiss her, at least once, to feel the softness of her lips… but she was too far away. Preparing to lift herself, determined to do that one small thing, she closed her eyes and gathered her strength.
A hand on her cheek caused her to open her eyes, as Seven ever so slowly closed the distance between them. Seven kissed her once, and then again. Small inquisitive kisses that were so like Seven. Gradually, Kathryn deepened the kiss, holding Seven against her with as much strength as her arms would give her. Seven responded immediately, refusing to relinquish her lips for an instant as the two woman poured all the love they had felt for one another into that single moment.
As Kathryn felt her breath leaving her, she sent a silent prayer of thanks to whatever deity had given her this chance.
***
Chakotay's voice battled with the Doctor's and again she felt the cool smoothness of Seven's fingers as they brushed against her forehead and tangled in her hair. Kathryn imagined she was reliving her last day as her spirit left her body, and she was glad that it was this day that she would take with her. Wishing the dream would speed up to where she was safe in Seven's arms, she tried to leap forward.
The movement caused a flurry of activity around her and she realized that she wasn't dreaming. She was alive. Seven was alive.
Opening her eyes she pushed herself up, and was relieved to feel the strength returning to her limbs despite her exhaustion. Seven smiled an odd smile at her and both the Doctor and her first officer pushed their way closer.
"Captain!" the Doctor almost shouted, "Everything is fine," he reassured her.
"My crew?" she demanded.
"Safe and sound. The majority are just beginning to regain consciousness however some of the crew are already up and about." Understandable relief coloured his tone.
"Thank you, Doctor," she replied, laying back down on the biobed. "I'll get you to tell me the whole story in a moment, but right now, I'm afraid I need to sleep."
"The Doctor has recently given you a sedative," Seven commented, which explained the way she was feeling.
"Will you stay with me for a moment?" Kathryn asked quietly, embarrassed to be revealing so much of herself in front of Chakotay and the Doctor but not wanting Seven to leave.
"As long as you want me to," the young woman replied.
The two men left them alone.
***
end.
mojor@kooee.com.au
Kathryn half reclined on the couch in her ready room, her back pressed against the warmth of Seven of Nine. Neither were feeling the best; Seven's body was starting to give in to the virus, and the medication the Doctor had given the Captain was beginning to wear off. They had retired to the Captain's ready room and now shared the large couch with Seven sitting slightly behind the Captain, their legs extending along the length of the cushions.
Resting her head back against Seven's shoulder she wondered at the comfortable companionship between them. The affection she had always felt for the remarkable young woman had increased tenfold in the past day and she keenly regretted having lost the opportunity to tell her how much she cared.
In the past she had always maintained her distance. The protocols and rules of conduct she had been exposed to all her life telling her that it was wrong for a Starfleet Captain to pursue a romantic relationship within her crew. She admitted that Starfleet didn't exactly have her situation in mind when they made up that particular rule, but her training was too well ingrained for her to go against it.
It all seemed so unimportant now. The times she had taken a step backwards when she thought she might have been starting to feel a little too much. The practised speeches quoting propriety and responsibility that she repeated to herself every now and again. When weighed against what she might have had, the love they could have shared... She made it a habit never to second-guess herself, it was something a Captain could not afford to do, but right now, with her future so uncertain, a thousand what-ifs plagued her.
Kathryn wondered if it were possible that Seven returned her feelings. Sometimes she thought that maybe she did, but that thought had always frightened her. Did Seven truly understand what it was to love someone? Maybe she did, but either way, Seven needed someone who was able to give her the time and attention she deserved- not a Starfleet Captain who first priority was, and always would be, her ship.
"Are you alright, Captain?" Seven asked quietly, her breath tickling against Kathryn's ear.
"Yes, Seven, why do you ask?"
"You have not spoken in 22 minutes. I was beginning to worry."
"I'm still here," she said only half jokingly.
"I am aware of that, I can feel the rise and fall of your chest and hear the beat of your heart. I was concerned that you were upset."
The Doctor had informed them approximately 25 minutes ago that he had lost Yeoman Tse'al. As the minutes ticked by Kathryn wondered how many more of her crew she would fail, as she lay idly in her ready room powerless to help them. She was unable to stand now, her heart too weak to be able to fight against gravity to merely pump the blood through her veins.
"Do you ever have regrets, Seven?" Kathryn asked hesitantly, the question so unlike her normally confident self.
Seven didn't answer immediately and when she did, Kathryn could hear the emotion in her voice.
"Regrets are irrelevant."
Kathryn couldn't help but smile at the predictable answer.
"I regret that Yeoman Tse'al will never see his home again. I regret that Voyager never made it home to the Alpha quadrant."
"It is not the destination that is important, Captain, it is the journey," Seven responded.
The Captain merely snorted in reply. "I told you that."
"Yes, you did. If the Doctor is unsuccessful in his attempts to devise a cure, I will regret that our journey together was not longer." Seven stared at the wall as she spoke, unable to look at the woman she almost cradled in her arms.
Kathryn remained silent, afraid that if she tried to speak, she would lose the composure she was fighting so hard to maintain. She felt weak and dizzy and she realized the Doctor was running out of time. Seven must have somehow felt the change in her attitude, because she wrapped her arms around the Captain's shoulders, gently hugging her.
"If the Doctor is unsuccessful, will you arrange to have my body put in stasis, on the chance that Voyager does make it home without me," she requested at her most melancholy.
"I do not wish to live another day without you," Seven whispered.
A silent tear escaped Kathryn's eyes and trailed down her cheek. She knew, too well, how Seven felt. She had found it impossible to imagine a future without Seven and had risked her life and the lives of everyone on Voyager to prevent just that when the Borg Queen had taken this beautiful young woman from her.
"I believe I love you, Captain." Seven's voice was strained. Kathryn realized she was crying. Unable to hold back her own tears Kathryn turned and, wrapping her arms around her thin form, buried her face against her throat.
"Oh, Seven. I love you, too. More than anything." She kissed the soft skin of Seven's neck. "I should have told you that a long time ago."
"Why didn't you?"
"I was afraid. I foolishly told myself that it was wrong for me to have feelings for you."
"And now...?" Seven asked, tightening her hold.
Kathryn lifted her head from the safety of Seven's embrace wanting to see her face as she spoke. "Now, I'm still afraid, but I'd be an even bigger fool if I denied the truth."
Seven's eyes shone with unshed tears. Kathryn wished she could kiss her, at least once, to feel the softness of her lips… but she was too far away. Preparing to lift herself, determined to do that one small thing, she closed her eyes and gathered her strength.
A hand on her cheek caused her to open her eyes, as Seven ever so slowly closed the distance between them. Seven kissed her once, and then again. Small inquisitive kisses that were so like Seven. Gradually, Kathryn deepened the kiss, holding Seven against her with as much strength as her arms would give her. Seven responded immediately, refusing to relinquish her lips for an instant as the two woman poured all the love they had felt for one another into that single moment.
As Kathryn felt her breath leaving her, she sent a silent prayer of thanks to whatever deity had given her this chance.
***
Chakotay's voice battled with the Doctor's and again she felt the cool smoothness of Seven's fingers as they brushed against her forehead and tangled in her hair. Kathryn imagined she was reliving her last day as her spirit left her body, and she was glad that it was this day that she would take with her. Wishing the dream would speed up to where she was safe in Seven's arms, she tried to leap forward.
The movement caused a flurry of activity around her and she realized that she wasn't dreaming. She was alive. Seven was alive.
Opening her eyes she pushed herself up, and was relieved to feel the strength returning to her limbs despite her exhaustion. Seven smiled an odd smile at her and both the Doctor and her first officer pushed their way closer.
"Captain!" the Doctor almost shouted, "Everything is fine," he reassured her.
"My crew?" she demanded.
"Safe and sound. The majority are just beginning to regain consciousness however some of the crew are already up and about." Understandable relief coloured his tone.
"Thank you, Doctor," she replied, laying back down on the biobed. "I'll get you to tell me the whole story in a moment, but right now, I'm afraid I need to sleep."
"The Doctor has recently given you a sedative," Seven commented, which explained the way she was feeling.
"Will you stay with me for a moment?" Kathryn asked quietly, embarrassed to be revealing so much of herself in front of Chakotay and the Doctor but not wanting Seven to leave.
"As long as you want me to," the young woman replied.
The two men left them alone.
***
end.
mojor@kooee.com.au