Disclaimer: I do not own them. That Sam-I-Am! I do not like them, Sam-I-Am! I do not like Green Eggs and Ham. Nor do I like eating mass quantities of tofu and soymilk. So blame Beast Boy for the mass outbreak of diarrhea.

Chapter Two: Weird Discoveries: Not Only Feelings

"That was weird." Robin had regrouped the Titans, and they were heading back to the Tower to change, and then return on a search for the H.I.V.E.

"You want weird, man, check out Cy!" Beast Boy gestured to his mentally challenged metallic friend. Cyborg was out of control, rolling his head and moving his arms and legs in a flipped-out fashion.

"Man, I think all that falling and water rusted his brain, or something."

"At least no innocent standing bies were injured." Starfire commented, squeezing out her stream of fiery red hair.

Robin smiled, "You mean by-standers. I agree with Star: We were lucky that someone else finished the job for us. But those three clowns got away!"

"I know! I had Gizmo right in my sights, too!" Beast Boy pounded his fist on his open palm, and gritted his teeth.

Robin glanced back in the direction of the wreckage. "I hope JCPD contacted the Construction Company about all that mess…People are going to have to take Route 801 around the back way if they don't rebuild it. The Lt.'ll want us to fill out a form, too. He's always keeping records of what we do…"

(A.N.: It's a little obvious-JCPD: Jump City Police Department.)

"I could not tell how many people sporting powers were involved in the incident. There was too much commotion." Starfire was deep in thought. Her sharp, round, fiery green eyes rarely missed a movement.

Raven raised a slender hand to brush away a dark strand from her mild, cold face, "Whoever it was, we know they weren't members of the H.I.V.E. Those three were bound tight, and I know they don't possess powers anywhere NEAR that potent."

She was silent for a moment in reflection. "Robin, I think that whoever was responsible for that bridge attack might have been in contact with Slade."

Robin's brow was furrowed in a sudden fit of fury. A low growl started at the bottom of his throat.

Undaunted, by his show of emotions, Raven continued, "While we were still standing on the bridge, one of those cracks ran under my foot. I could feel his presence manipulating the attacks somehow. We need to be vigilant and monitor any unusual behavior going on around town."

"Such as Goth girls refusing to stop meditating behind locked doors?" After fiddling with the controls in his back, Beast Boy had managed to restore Cyborg to his normal, joking self.

"Can it, before I reprogram your software."

The Titans stopped short at the step of their home: Gathered at the entrance was a puddle, and the door was swinging wide open, the lock having been cleverly picked with a hairpin, unlike Gizmo and his unsuccessful device. Raven daintily hovered over the seawater and landed lightly on the lobby floor

She turned to the others. "There's a trail of footprints." Her voice was grave. Robin looked like he was going to pop a vein.

"Yo, Rob, cheer up. At least we know these don't belong to him. Look how tiny they are!" Cyborg was a little over exaggerating, but they were indeed, small.

"Looks like a size 5 ½, female." Beast Boy said knowingly.

"I did not know Beast Boy was a peach cobbler." Starfire said. (A.N.: WARNING: Corny sense of humor spread throughout story!)

"Not the dessert, Starfire. A shoe cobbler…And he isn't one." Raven corrected.

"Oh! I apologize. But I do not understand? How was anyone able to evade our security system?"

Cyborg shook his head, disappointed in his gadgets. "I dunno, but we definitely need to search this place…"

"Be on your guard, you never know Slade these days…" Robin had an ominous look about his eyes, basically scaring the living hell out of everyone.

Beast Boy morphed into a bloodhound and sniffed around the kitchen. Possibly to check that his tofu had not been tampered with by certain robot omnivores. The trail led to the bathroom and after ramming the door down in the form of a bighorn sheep, the fuzzy Changeling reported no villains, just several puddles by the sink and shower. The window, however, was open.

Robin suggested they split up to search the Tower. He and Starfire took to the Roof and Upper floors, while Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy went to the basement, living room, and kitchen.

Up on the roof, Robin was rapidly moving aside various storage crates while Starfire was peeking around corners, starbolts blazing in hand. Her friend's uncanny energy was being restored by vehement memories of the past. She could see tiny beads of sweat condensing on his forehead. "Robin, if we do not find Slade, you will not depart on an insane fowl chase, will you?"

"Of course not, Star. I won't do that again." He paused, suddenly dropping his preoccupations thinking. "Why? You're not worried about me, are you?"

Starfire gently floated around a corner and came face-to-face with the Boy Wonder. Her nose was inches away from his. Robin stared into the depths of her eyes. She flushed a brilliant crimson and said in a bashful voice, "I am afraid that this time, I—we might lose you for good. I do not want you for an enemy, Robin. I desire your presence the team. We often require your leadership and guidance—I often need your guidance."

Robin took Starfire's hand in his own, looked at her straight and made a silent promise in his heart that nothing, no matter how important, would drive him away from the Titans—away from Starfire.

*******

In the living room, Cyborg insisted on testing all the games to see if they had been tampered with, much to Raven's disgust.

Beast Boy was also doing a little testing of his own—taste testing. The food in the fridge looked discolored, he had phonily claimed. Morphing into a vulture, he devoured the rotten food, his iron stomach not at all minding the bacteria. Raven whirled around and left the room, and stood at the top of a gloomy passageway. She felt a shiver run through her as she gazed at the seemingly never-ending darkness below.

"Scared?" *Belch* Raven was a fraction of an inch from jumping. She turned to Beast Boy and scowled.

"Uh, didn't think so." He tried to slink away, but Raven grabbed the back of his shirt and hauled him with her.

"Where do you think you're going?" She bared her teeth in his face. He grinned and marched down the long flight of stairs to the basement.

Wonder why she wants me down here? What if she's brought me to confess something? What if she really likes me? After all, I guess I am a pretty attractive guy. Who could resist such a—

"Don't even think it Beast Boy. I can hear your brain slowly ticking away, and it's impairing my powers with a headache just imagining the labor your tiny mind must be going through right now."

"Hehe, my bad Rae. So, what do you think we're looking for?" Beast Boy scratched his head nervously, hastily trying to change the subject.

"Not what, who." Raven's voice was staid as she turned a corner and the dim light filtering down from the floors above receded. They were enshrouded in total darkness.

Beast Boy fiddled, "Um, Rae, could we shed some light on the situation here?" Or maybe not! She's right next to me, I just fling an arm around her and—

Raven pulled a previously stored flashlight from under her cloak and turned it on. "Don't worry Beast Boy, I'm sure there are no monsters down here that are scarier than you."

"Ha ha ha, Very funny. You know, if I'm not mistaken, I'd say that all that meditating has turned your brain inside out! You don't even recognize a joke or a hunky guy when you see one!" She was always brushing him away, like he didn't matter.

"You give a new meaning to the word, 'hunk'." The light cast shadows on her face that made her look menacing. "More like, 'Hunk of Tofu-Based Idiot.'"

Beast Boy was starting to get ticked off. "Why is it that every time I try to make you laugh, I always get a smart remark in return?" He was flailing his arms wildly, and—Smack! He had thwacked Raven in the face.

The flashlight had been flung from her hands and was rolling down another corridor.

"Nice going Beast Boy."

"He he. Oopsie?" He was only thankful that her glaring eyes wasn't visible in the dark.

"You are such an idiot! I swear, I work with a bunch of idiots!" Beast Boy could almost feel her eyes rolling furiously. He was always getting in her way, the insecure little tofu monster. She started to stalk towards the direction the flashlight had rolled, inside a maze of winding pipes, but Beast Boy grabbed her wrist and hauled her back.

"Yeah, like I'm going to fall for that one, Miss Moody! Leave me all alone in the dark, while you cruise around playing pranks on me. We're heading back, NOW!" He started to tug her by the cape towards the exit.

"Lay off, Beast Boy." She brushed him off and was about to retrieve their only source of illumination when—

"Where did it roll to?"

"Raven, I am NOT going on a wild goose chase for a stupid flashlight. I bet there's not even anyone here. *Yawn!* Robin's probably just over reacting again."

"No, I can sense them in this building. They'll ambush us if we're not careful."

*******

Back in the living room, the whole crew had assembled. And, no one having found anything, they decided to check the last place: Their Rooms. Everyone gathered in the hallway and placed a hand on their doors. At the count of three, all five Titans whipped open the entrances…And still nothing.

"We should contact the Lt. He'll want to know that we've got an intruder. After all, how is it that all this is going to happen in ONE day? Busted Bridge and an Intruder? I mean, there's gotta be a connection here." Cyborg tried to reason with everyone.

"Yeah, we haven't spoken with him ever since Beast Boy almost got busted from sticking a tofu donut in his coffee."

"Hey! They use EGGS in donuts, ya know!" Beast Boy protested indignantly.

"I do not look forward to speaking with Lieutenant Dickhed again. He was not very nice to us when last we saw him."

"Like, DUH! The guy's a CARNIVORE!"

"He only hates us because we always apprehend the criminals before him. The people depend on us more than they do the very ones who were hired to protect them." Raven said, flipping through the phone book for the station number. This is ridiculous. Why not have the Lt. on speed-dial? Even Slade is sensible enough to put us on his list…

"I don't think that we should tell him…"

"What? Why not?"

"The guy's just going to send the whole Police Force down here to watch us like a pack of wolves. He'll keep the Tower under siege, or something. All just to show the people of Jump City that the Police Dpt. knows how to stop crime better than the Titans, who wouldn't know a criminal even if they were hidden in their own Tower."

"Robin, that doesn't matter. This phantom can break into our own home. The Lt. needs to know." Raven said.

"I think that the Titans can handle this one without any interference from the JCPD. Nothing's been stolen, no damage done to our property, no files missing, no injuries, no homicidal maniacs. Trust me, guys, there's nothing we can't handle."

"But Robin, we did not yet verify if the villain is residing in the last of the sleeping quarters upstairs!"

"Dude, Star, that room is sealed tight. Not even a hairpin can manage that lock. You have to type in the code, place your fingerprints on the pad, and take a retina scan."

"How do we even know that this phantom person is the same as the villain controlling the bridge? It could be the H.I.V.E. out for revenge." Raven slammed the phone book closed, now convinced that the Lt. would never find out about their little phantom.

"Raven's right, this could be a whole new criminal. ANYWAY, there's no way that we'll be able to find out until I finish beating Beast Boy's sorry butt in Commandos!"

"Yeah, not in your warranty expiration date, Cyborg!" Beast Boy sprang onto the couch and started getting his sorry butt beaten.

Robin only shrugged and sat down with Starfire to watch, while Raven washed the ink from the Yellow Pages off of her hands.

*******

"Man, I'm bushed. I need a recharge!" Cyborg strode into his room and plugged himself into the wall. (A.N.: Now, that doesn't sound right...)

Even energetic Starfire wanted a little nap. Robin relented and agreed. Of course, who wouldn't feel like getting a coupla hours after a battle like that? They would have to put the search for the H.I.V.E. off for a little while. Battling all through the night and into the morning…The "Bridge Buster" person's secret would have to be unveiled later in the afternoon, too. For the first time that day, there was peace in Titans Tower.

But no one heard the odd noises coming from the room at the end of the hall.

Not even Raven…

*******

A.N.: O_O Oooohhh!!! So now the Titans have an intruder that they can't find…Isn't this just freaky?! Yeah, some of the flirting scenes might not be the best, but I want to save the good stuff for later.

And look, people, I've only gotten, like, two people reviewing me, and I see, what? Other fanfics where everyone has about FORTY reviews, and I'm writing my heart out here!!! HE-LOOOOO???!!! Whatever happened to the kind people in the world? Only her royal winged pigginess and the felinish female dare to review me?! I DEFY you to review me!!! HA! No, I DARE you to review me!!! No, wait, I DOUBLE DOG DELUXE TOFU DARE YOU!!! THERE! *pant*

Okay, well, is this intruder the one who was singing London Bridge? No, people, remember the person who was swimming in the water limped up to the Tower and collapsed. "So was it this stranger?" you say. Well, I didn't say that it was, technically, but you'll find out. And Cyborg and Beast Boy need to get their lazy butts away from those video games and take things seriously, right? Well…

And we've gotten a chance to meet Lieutenant Dickhed! Geez, what kind of a fucking name is THAT for a Lt.? And why does it seem like he's in charge here? Yeah, Lt. Dickhed is a real pain-in-the-ass to the Titans, I can tell u that! But I can't say more until I get reviews! Sike, people, I'll write, I just need opinionz on this one. Nothing harsh, since it's my first!!! Oh, and flyingpiggies, luv Mirror Mirror!!! Get ur buddies to review me!!!

Read ON!!!

Peace out ppl.